• Published 6th Sep 2013
  • 2,284 Views, 62 Comments

The Foalnapping - Blagdaross

Rainbow Dash decides to revive an old pegasus tradition.

  • ...

1 (revised)

Applejack opened the window. The night was far too beautiful not to let in. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath of the farm-fresh air: sweet apple blossoms, sheep-cropped grass, the tang of rainwater, a little bit of manure, and the strange scent of beetles. Some scents were stronger, some were weaker, some were pleasant, some less so, but it was the mix that reminded her of things.

She opened her eyes and gazed at the stars between the few puffy clouds. Twilight had once gone off on a tangent about what-all Princess Luna had to do each night to make the sky look like that. AJ didn’t really understand, but it sounded like a lot of work that nopony would even notice, even if they were awake nights to see it. Applejack had believed when she was a few years younger that two of the stars were her parents; but everypony had told her that was just an old ponies’ tale.

Finding out it wasn’t was a tearful thing.

Applejack listened to the farm for a few more seconds before turning from the window. She was getting married, and everypony who could be was going to be there. All her cousins, all her friends, her sister, her grandmother; her big brother would be giving her away. She had even let Pinkie twist her hoof into letting her and the Cakes handle ‘some of the baking.’ The pastry table might be taller than the barn. Aunt and Uncle Orange would be impressed, no easy feat.

They could have gotten Celestia herself to perform the ceremony, but they had decided to get Princess Twilight to do it instead. She was a friend, as well as a princess, so it just felt right. Twilight had insisted on organizing the event, and they had relented. Suddenly Rarity was involved too, hoof-sewing dresses for everypony, arranging flowers, and designing decorations. Spike had managed to find a couple dozen books on wedding ceremonies. Twilight hadn't pulled her muzzle out of them for a week as far as Applejack knew. It looked like the two unicorns had everything in hoof, then Pinkie Pie took over the reception.

Everyone knew Pinkie liked to plan parties and other events, but this-- this would be her masterpiece. Applejack was even a little scared, given the scale of the thing, but she trusted Pinkie Pie, even if in her heart of hearts Applejack couldn't explain why she trusted the somewhat insane mare.

Nervous as she was, Applejack had a simple thought to calm her down. She was marrying the mare of her dreams, even if the pegasus sometime frustrated her. Applejack yawned as she pulled back the covers. Pretty soon I won't be doing this alone. Applejack smiled. I’ll have me a nice athletic pegasus to cuddle with, she thought as she climbed into the bed.

Another part of Applejack’s brain corrected her. Not just cuddle…

She pulled the covers up and closed her eyes again.

Rainbow Dash looked to her left. Cloud Chaser stared straight ahead, her eyes glowing. Flitter crouched back, her ears flat to her head. The sisters had been invaluable in setting this up, and Dash would need to buy a lot of wine to thank them.

Rainbow Dash looked right. Thunderlane was perfectly still, silhouetted against the night sky. He actually looked good, his dark coat blending into the sky like that. Dash couldn't blame Cloud Chaser, if you liked that sort of thing. He was a well set-up stallion.

“Fluttershy?” Dash whispered.

A small squeak wound it’s way up from the cloud she was standing on. “Come on, ‘Shy, I want you to be a part of this.” Rainbow frowned at the concealing cumulus. Dash needed ‘Shy to be a part of this. She would have brought Scootaloo, too, if the filly could fly a little better. And if Scootaloo’s mom had let her.

A pink mane poked up from the cloud. “O-Okay.” Fluttershy emerged onto the temporary rampart. She pulled her hooves up to the edge. “I… I can do this!”

Only Fluttershy could sound that determined and that quiet at the same time. Dash could understand the fear, even she was nervous. But this had to be done. AJ would be so surprised!

Dash turned her attention back to the farmhouse. “Everypony ready? Let’s do this”

“Where is she!?” the tiny filly yelled in Twilight’s face.

“Whu- huh?” Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Equestria, Bearer of the Element of Magic, tried to get her mind in gear. She didn't know where she was.

She was on a couch, or possibly just a large lumpy cushion on the floor. Something warm and hard lay across her back. There was something large and white not far away on her left. The mattress, or possibly cushion, was cool but not cold. Very yellow, for some reason. The sun was not directly in her eyes, but something was very close to her face.

“She’s GONE!”

Twilight had a good view of the inside of the speaker’s mouth. Orange tongue, pink uvula. Probably a pony of some kind. Twilight tried to get some useful information. “Who is?”

“APPLEJACK! Mah sister’s gone!”

Huh, where'd she go? She’s getting married in a few days-- All at once, Twilight was awake. “What do you mean gone!?”

The carefully sanded boards of the big table radiated the warm colors of the morning sun, filling anypony who sat at the table with the feeling of home in a way that, for most, was somehow more than their actual homes could manage. The smell of herbs and baking fruit, the slight sounds of livestock drifting in from outside, the warmth of morning and camaraderie would normally calm the most savage of griffons. Today was not a normal day though. Today was panic day.

Fed and caffeinated to various degrees, seven ponies and one dragon sat around the big table at Sweet Apple Acres. Twilight was looking at a scrap of paper with some calculations on it. Sweetie Belle was holding Apple Bloom who was trying not to cry. Rarity’s mane was in disarray, and she still seemed to shocked to fix it. Spike was serving coffee in the vain hope that it might help. Granny Smith’s eyebrows refused to align and Big Mac looked poleaxed. Pinkie stared out the window, as if expecting the missing mare to just turn up.

Twilight had investigated, in as much as was possible. AJ’s room was devoid of orange ponies, as was all of Sweet Apple Acres near as anypony could tell. No hoofprints had been discovered, at least not one that wouldn't have been there yesterday anyways. The window was open, but given the weather last night that didn't mean much. Nopony had any idea where she might have left, or why she would choose to go. If someone else had forced her, then who? The worse news was that she wasn't the only pony missing: Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and a few other pegasi were also nowhere to be found. How was Twilight supposed to marry Applejack and Rainbow Dash without Applejack and Rainbow Dash?

Twilight tried a few breathing exercises. It didn't help.

“Okay, here’s what we do. We establish search parties. They can’t have gotten far, pegasi can only fly up to about eighty mile per hour, except for Rainbow Dash, and we went to bed late so they've only got an eight-hour head start. That’s a six hundred forty mile radius, or four thousand twenty-one square miles, approximately.” Twilight scribble furiously on the scrap of paper. “If you each cover five hundred seventy-five square miles, it shouldn't be hard at all!” The purple scientist attempted to smile reassuringly, and failed.

“Hey look, somepony's coming!” Pinkie said.

Everypony tried to look through the closest window at once. Somepony was flying in, on what appeared to be a carriage.

“Oh no! Princess Celestia is here and I lost the bride! I mean, I lost the brides! Is there any way I could possibly have screwed up worse? What do I do? Spike, Rarity, what do I do!?” Twilight’s tail began twitching.

“Not quite, Twilight! Hey that rhymed! Anyway, I think it’s Cadance!” Pinkie went over and gave Twilight a hug. “Don't worry, she'll be able to help us look. I bet she has some sort of super sweetheart seeking spell!”

Rarity barely had her mane in place by the time Cadance and Shining Armor arrived. The mood in the room, however, was not concealed. Shining Armor’s smile disappeared immediately. “What happened? Twilly, what’s wrong?” the guard captain asked.

Twilight tried to answer, “Nothing! We’re fine! Everythin--”

Pinkie shoved a hoof in Twilight’s mouth. “We can’t find the brides. Twilight was about to organize a search party, which isn’t really a party, although a party with a searching game, like a scavenger hunt or something, could also be called a search party, but anyway we saw you were coming and I was hoping you could cast a super sweetheart seeking spell so we wouldn’t have to have a search party that isn’t a party because then I’d get confused!”

Cadance stood silent for a moment. She looked around the room. Her face was composed. “Who is missing, exactly?”

Twilight answered. “Applejack and Rainbow Dash.”

Cadance counted the assembled ponies and dragon. “Where’s Fluttershy?” Cadance asked.

Rarity responded, “We can’t find her either. Or any of Rainbow Dash’s work crew, who were going out with her last night.”

“I see,” the pink alicorn said. She nodded once. “And the wedding is one week from today, correct?”


“Well, then,” Cadance smiled at the assembled ponies, “We can all stop panicking. She’s just been foalnapped.“

Author's Note:

This chapter was revised due to lack of important reptiles.