Rarity has an untold history of her foalhood crush.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Wait for it...
That was a weird switch in moods from the earlier chapters. I'm not so sure I approve of the switch, but we'll see where it goes.
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You'll learn why in the next chapter. (which is what I'm writing right now.)
You switched tenses several times throughout the chapter. Choosing one and sticking to it would make it a lot easier on your readers^^
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The pains of not knowing what to look for in prereading my friend. This is what happens when I leave for a weekend and come back with broken thought patterns. Plus I'm not too well of an author just yet. I'm working to improve so bear with me for a bit. I can only get better from here on, right?
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damn