Spike's Journal 2

by WorkingClassWriter

May The Best Pet Win!

Spike's Journal 2
Written By Working Class Writer
Edited by cwiis

Dear Diary,

So, apparently pets are in fashion now. Well, that's too bad for Twilight. It's not as if Twilight has an objection to what Rarity does or such, she just went into a rant to Roseluck once at the local thrift store that fashion was entirely in one's mind and that it insulted the idea of being one's self and individuality or something. We just happened to get the owl right in time, though, so now Twilight's...in fashion. So much for Osclop Wilde.

You see, a few days ago Rainbow Dash was looking for Fluttershy frantically. She had seen us playing with our own pets and she somehow got it set on her mind that she needed one, stat. A few painful rhymes later, she decided that she couldn't choose between one pet and the other, and she and Fluttershy decided to hold a competition to see which pet was the best for her.

As a result, after noon today we were gathered at Fluttershy's (quite extensive) lawn to watch Fluttershy's animals compete for Rainbow's approval. To be fair, there were some pretty cool animals there, such as hawks and falcons and eagles and such. I have no idea where Fluttershy got any of these animals, but if she can take care of them, I guess she must be pretty smart in terms of that stuff. Now that I think of it, if she wasn't so squeamish she could probably become a vet or even a nurse, maybe a doctor.

One of the animals was a bat, which was pretty much the animal I wanted to win. I mean, that thing was kind of...well, cute. Also, just imagine how awesome it would be to have a pet that could help you in the dark. You could even give it some interesting names! Batmare for a pop culture reference, or maybe Batevya if you want to be fancy and stuff. I could name it Bat-no, wait, I can't write that. This fanfiction is rated E.

So, Rainbow had the animals go through some competitions. The bat did pretty well in all of them, as expected. An owl also got through the tests, but, sheesh, why would you want that, Dashie? That would be cliche. There was also the falcon, as I mentioned earlier, and the eagle too. A tortoise that Dash had frequently disapproved of earlier wanted to join as well. She was a bit annoyed, but she decided to let it join anyway.

Now, I can understand that Dash was looking for speed, but aside from the other problem of a tortoise not being able to fly, there wouldn't be anything that bad about a tortoise. I was still rooting for the bat, but tortoises are cuddly. The only thing I have against them is the concept of them (and turtles) having no shells attached. That mental picture is disturbing. What happens if you remove the shell out of a tortoise? Do you see bugs and insects crawling on its back? For that matter, what does its back look like? Is it a slimy green mess? ...I'd rather not think about it.

Unfortunately, Dash has to think about it often because, as it turns out, it ended up being her pet. Yeah, it did. I'm spoiling the whole outcome of the situation for you, Diary. Do you have anything to say to that? No? Alright, then. Let me explain things.

The last competition was a race through...dun dunn dunnn...GHASTLY GORGE! Dunn dunn dunn. Okay, that was annoying, sorry. The first pet to win would obviously be hers, and as an additional twist she would be racing too. So, off they went, along with the tortoise...who was as slow as a truck.

Ah, well, pity shouldn't get in the way of my favourites. Go, Batmare, go.

However my favouritism was unfortunately halted when an avalanched occured just before we expected Rainbow to show up at the finish line. Naturally, we freaked out. The concept of our friend being trapped or even crushed by a boulder is even more scary that the concept of a tortoise without a shell.

Surprisingly, just as Twilight was about to go and look for her, Rainbow came out. With the turtle. I'm not sure how that happened, but the guy (who she named Tank-not even sure what a tank is, but her decision is her decision) managed to help her out when she got her wing crushed by a boulder of sorts. Either way, Dash and Tank bonded over the walk to the finish line, and the rest is history. I feel kind of sorry for the falcon, though. ...I'm still going to make sure to ask Fluttershy about the bat.

Today, I learned that I, too, am a victim of fashion.

-Spike