Spike's Journal 2

by WorkingClassWriter

Lesson Zero

Spike's Journal 2
Lesson Zero
Written by: Cestler
Edited by: cwiis

Dear Diary,
It's official. I, Spike, am the most reasonable, sane, and responsible being in all Equestria.

No, really. Princess Celestia knighted me. Honest.

...Well, okay, maybe she didn't knight me. She did applaud me, however, for my wise and sensitive choice. In fact, I bet she'll be saying at the next banquet, "Have you heard of my student-not-student Twilight Sparkle? She's a genius, alright, but Spike's the real clever one there. If it weren't for him, we would have been depending all our lives on the fate of a stuffed donkey. What reward should I give him? Money? Books? A real television? No! I best crown him Prince of Equestria. But that's still not enough! No, I shall give him... Rarity!"

(Author's Note: I regret to inform you that Mister Spike has fallen asleep and has drooled on this page. Kindly imagine a wet blob of saliva right...about...here.)

Whoops. I think I sorta fell asleep there.

So, it all started yesterday. Early in the morning, Twilight woke me up early. Very early. As in 5 o'clock. Sheesh.
According to her, we were doing some 'early preparations' for our monthly friendship picnic, plus picking up some additional supplies. I groggily got our checklist (measured about 25 feet tops) and followed Twilight outside.

Doing errands was even less fun than usual. Aside from our heck of a scroll I had to drag along, I had to deal with another one of Twilight's panic attacks. She was concerned about 'spending too much' and 'taking it slowly'. Celestia gave us 500,000 bits, Twilight. 500,000 bits. Even tax won't be a problem for the next few years.

We got to our last deed on the list: buying cupcakes for the picnic. Twilight got a little bit too touchy with the frosting. At least I got free dessert. But nothing could ever prepare me for what would happen next.

We went home at two after eating lunch. I was practically exhausted. I wanted to sit in a jacuzzi and read Mystery on the Pony Express. (That could help me sometime, y'know.) My one big mistake was casually mentioning that Twilight hadn't wrote a letter to Princess Celestia this week. Bang.

After a bit of chaos that I really don't want to describe here (it involved magic kindergarten and staring out at the sun and stuff), Twilight rushed out of the house and left me alone. With the cupcakes. Maybe I ate just one.

I didn't see Twilight until four. By then, she was talking to herself. Not to mention her hair was messier than my 5-year-old handwriting. (Don't judge.)

I wanted to make sure that Twilight wasn't fiddling around with any magical rings or something, so I inquired her on what exactly was she doing. Somehow, I managed to convince her to head over to the picnic. By now, I figured Twilight didn't need me for a sanity check, so I skipped along to our treehouse.

Before I even opened the door, I saw the weekly stampede of ponies fighting over something. Daring to look, I found out that what they were fighting over Twilight's old Smarty Pants doll. That was the last straw. I sprayed Celestia's magical perfume on myself, spat fire on the ground and jumped right in before it spread.

Those poor letters. I'll never do that to them again.

Needless to say, I caused quite a shock when I landed in the middle of Celestia and Luna. Luna practically flew away, mumbling something about 'ponies these days' and 'even Sunset was a better student'.

When I had recovered, Celestia inquired me on what was happening. After explaining the whole doozy, she teleported herself out of there and left me alone. With her Horsehy's Kisses. Maybe I ate just one.

By the time she returned, she was looking pretty frustrated. She grabbed me and teleported out of there yet again.

We arrived at the library. Twilight looked pretty guilt-stricken. I tried to listen in on their conversation, but I didn't hear much, save the fact that Celestia apparently had forgave Twilight for whatever she did. She also asked each of our friends to write a letter whenever they wanted to. I'm interested to see what Pinkie writes in there.

So, yeah, Twilight thanked me a whole lot. Glad I finally got the recognition I deserved. Who knows, maybe she'll forgive me when she finds out about that pile of ash where the magazine rack once used to be.

Today, I learned that I am best dragon.

-Spike

**********

Ye Olde Records of Princess Luna the 12th
(Celestia Hath No Right To Read)
Mayflower May 8th

Nightmare Night dawns (or is that dusks? Nay, dawn sounds much better). A magical growth potion hast been prepared for myself with utmost caution. My mane shalt flow like the majestic night sky!

Prepare to meet thy Princess O Ponyville.

-Her Majesty Luna

(P.S I hast been reading modern literature. Sherclop Pones! What a fine book was The Pony of Fear! I hast proclaimed to Celestia that I desire to contact the fine pony who wrote them, Sir Arthur Clopnan Doyle. My sister looked at me in a queer manner, but I am sure it was just some early evening jitters.)