Twilight and Her Nutty Teacher

by FlameSwordedLink

Chapter 3: The Arson

A/N: I only have 12% left on my iPad. I guarantee nothing.

Twilight followed Spork around after she teleported. She found no conclusive results about him being a demon spawn, however, so she just took notes of his behavior. She cast an invisibility spell when she saw that Spork was heading back to her room. She watched the whole scene take place.

My pet rock is evil and wants to burn down my room. Honestly, I was expecting the dragon to do that first. Oh well, best to try and stop him n-!

AT THE HOSPITAL

The lavender mare, or grey if you are colorblind, woke up in a hospital. She asked what happened and was given this response:

"Well your room burned down while you were in it." Is what the doctor had told her.

"And thus my pet rock is evil." Twilight said sadly.

"Wait, pet rock?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well, if you enchanted him, which I would guess that you did, then he wouldn't become evil unless you were evil. And he couldn't have started the fire unless he had a gem inside him...or (Apparently "googly" is not a real word. Nor is googlie.) googly eyes...." The doctor said as he shivered.

"What's wrong with googly eyes?"

"Googly eyes make all rocks evil when enchanted. They also make for bad decoration, cheap knockoffs, and ways to store limitless amounts of magical energy. We don't know why, but-"

"THINK OF THE CUPCAKES!!!!" Pinkie yelled while randomly bursting in, and eating a red velvet cupcake.

"Why cupcakes? Gems taste so much better. Hi Twi. Sorry about the burnt down room." Spork said while munching on a ruby.

"But they just turn evil for no apparent evil. AND YOU STOLE MY CUPCAKE!!!! AND YOU STOLE MY MONEY THAT I TRADED IN FOR A GEM! GIVE THEM BACK!!" The doctor said as he ran after them yelling.

"Well that was awkward. ...Well, I guess that I need to go rock hunting!" Twilight said while taking out her rock hunting license. She also posted several rock season posters. ...Don't ask me why she has them. She was taught by an acorn, OK. Be prepared for anything? Well, whatever it is it's- OW! PINKIE! STOP TRYING TO PUNCH ME WHEN I'M NARRATING! IT'S VERY DISTRACTING AND I NEED TO GO BACK. I'LL GET BACK TO YOUR SCENE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!

...That was embarrassing. Anyway, she decided to grab a hammer, a welder's torch, a pitchfork, and a disenchanting spell book. (All of which are located at your nearest angry mob convenience store.) She took off to her room to start looking.

AT THE ROOM

She found nothing. (Hey, I did say "start" looking.) She decided to use a tracer spell instead. She then found that he was hiding at the nearest river. She decided to grab some C-4 and enjoy herself with that fact.

AT THE RIVER

She placed the C-4 in a good amount near where Rick was(And by that I mean about one hundred pounds. Do not ask me how she managed to get that much. If you really want to, then I will reply.), and set it off from about two miles away. She then was knocked over by the resulting boom. Twilight decided that she should be find and went on to carry out her day.

Later on that evening she found out that she had been infected by a deadly virus and died. The end. Wait, you still want more? ...And now I'm broke because I owe Pinkie all of my money. Great.... WELL, WE SHALL HAVE TO GO INTO THE FUTURE.

THE FUTURE.

In the year 3159, Twilight Sparkle is wanted for her crimes agai-. NOT THAT FAR PINKIE! That's what you get for letting her learn to break the fourth wall.... OH SHOOT! CERBERUS!!! EVERYPONY RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

MEANWHILE WITH DISCORD

"So, I was told that I was to make a special appearance." Discord stated. "And I'm wondering, dear author, are you just trying to cover the fact that you almost got killed? Where's the excitement, the chaos, and the acorns?" Are you wanting me to randomly misspell words? That would be chaos. "Maybe to you, but not to us. Not all ponies are grammar nazis you know. Speaking of which, has anypony seen my googly eyes?"

"NO! NOT THE GOOGLY(Strangely it's not misspelled here from what they are saying.) EYES! ANYTHING BUT THE GOOGLY EYES!!! EVEN HAPPY BIRTHDAY WOULD BE BETTER THAN THE GOOGLY EYES!!!" Pinkie yelled while coming out of Discord's nose.

"See what I mean author? You honestly expect ponies to find this funny? Because if you are you are not doing a good job. I don't think that you are even trying to get me to be funny. .ereh seno tseinnuf eht era I dna eikniP, ti ecaf s'tel, naem I .sdrawkcab gniklat ma I won, taerG Can you at least try to be more funny. Ah, now I can speak normally again. Thank you. I am going to leave before you-." Suddenly all of Equestria blows up. "Find out about that.... I knew I shouldn't have given Twilight that much C-4 for eight pies.... Oh well. She created glorious chaos, and that's all I could want. Well, I'm going to go back to being a statue. Good luck on your next two hundred words!" He then goes stiff.

Great.... Where's Pinkie when you need he-! Pink...ie...you're...cho...king...me...!

Hi! This is Pinkie. I'll be taking over for the author while he's suspended over a shark tank. Don't you just love sharks? They're so sweet and cuddly...wait, no, that's snakes. Or is it tigers that I'm thinking of? Oh! Right, it was pandas! ...Wait, he was supposed to be suspended over pandas...well, that would explain the screaming. ...And the tearing...maybe I should go save him? Wait! I know! I can write it that he makes it out OK! Think Pinkie...I know! I'll go get cupcakes!

And that is why you should never trust Pinkie. I still have half of my bottom missing.... Well, I'll just get back at her in the next chapter. BYE! GAH! PINKIE! ENOUGH WITH THE HUGS! THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!

Author's Note:

Sorry that chapter 2 didn't pick up from chapter 1, but I want to get about five chapter after this one before I get to the Nut in the Moon incident. So, look forward to chapter 9, which should be coming soon, for the continuation of the story. I don't have an overall plot, but I am making one as I go. I need to work more on the lesson part though.... Anyway, leave any critique about the chapters below and tell me what you think might happen, and ask me any questions that you might want to have answered. Thank you for your time.
Sorry about no chapter earlier! I'll probably be doing them later now.
~FlameSwordedLink

P.S. I think some kind of evil being is trying to kill me and is failing. If not, then it's probably Blueblood.

Comments

[MDNGHTRDHTLN]

Huh. And when I thought this couldn't get any stranger, it did. My brain is liquid right now. Good work.

[DerpyRainbow]

While reading chapter two I was thinking of posting "What have I caused?"
but now after reading chapter three I can safely say this has gone far beyond me into a realm of oddity that it could potentially do the thing no go how to where then die. It's also supposedly contagious.

I await the next chapter good sir!

[FlameSwordedLink]

3091567

I cannot say that I understood that, nor can I say that I can't. So, I'm just going to say thank you and assume that you said a compliment. So, thank you.

[FlameSwordedLink]

3091251

So what your saying is that it got stranger? I don't know how.... I was just told by someone that it wasn't random enough, so that inspired the Discord scene.

[FlameSwordedLink]

3091338

Too random? It does list it as a tag. I might advise that it contains a healthy dose of Pinkie Logic. I also am making up the plot as I go along. ...That is, if you consider a random page of words that make no sense in their continuation to be a plot. Thank you for saying that though. If you want it less random then might I suggest not having Pinkie sit behind you. It is very unhealthy for the mind. Not to mention you you will start thinking that somepony slipped hallucinogens into your coffee.

[FlameSwordedLink]

3094002

Like The Lord and the Devil are trying to kill/save me? ...I don't think that I'm that important. I have great ideas, but they would be discovered by people sooner or later.