Twilight and Her Nutty Teacher

by FlameSwordedLink

Chapter 2: Pinkie Is Going to Kill Me

Twilight studied the spell book furiously. She wanted to make sure that she got this correct on her first try. Though, with this being a comedy story, do you really think that she will? She continued to study it until she was sure that she could cast it. She prepared her horn and was about to let the spell loose when Spork, her pet dragon, walked into the library and asked her where some batteries are. She then lost control of the spell and sent all of the background flying out the fourth wall. Then the pink mare popped up.

"Her Twili- you tried to travel between dimensions, didn't you?" The pink mare, who you should recognize as Pinkie by now, questioned. Twilight just nodded to that. "I'll go get the background."

"Spork, what are batteries?" Twilight asked the purple dragon.

"Oh...right, this isn't the correct time period, my bad." The dragon said as he quickly vanished in a flash of light. It wasn't that noticeable with the background gone though.

Twilight found that she was hungry. "Hm...I had breakfast, and second breakfast, and brunch, so I think it's tea time. I'll have to ask Her Royal Nutness if I can grab some from the Royal Teabags. If not I'll threaten to eat her." She quickly teleported to the Nut room to tell her story. The Princess was not amused. She decided to use the threat when Pinkie suddenly returned. She was eating popcorn, but to them it was just puffed starch.

"Hey Twi, I was wondering if you had an- oh, tea time, sorry." She said as she back into the ground. Twilight made a mental note to ask about that later. It would really help her social awkwardness. Sure, it wouldn't help her overall awkwardness, but it would come in handy. Unless she was hallucinating again, in which case she should be laying off the coffee which she thinks Spork had sporked to get her drunk. But that didn't work. Anyway, back to the story.

"Let me have some tea or else I shall eat you." Twilight said affirmatively.

"If you eat me you shall live with guilt for the rest of your life." Celestia, or better yet, Nutlestia said.

"Or I could just grow another acorn, enchant it, and infuse it with it your memories."

"You know, sometimes I really hate you."

"Well now we both know what it feels like to be disappointed." The lavender mare said before walking off to get some royal tea. She passed the pink mare on the way there and asked her how she melted into the ground and mare merely said that she found away around the laws of physics. Which is to say that she doesn't apply to logic. Or common sense. Or anything. I believe that she might even be able to revive ponies from the dead.

"Well, I guess that I should work on my studies again." She says as she goes to have a staring contest with her pet rock.

"So how does this help you again?" Rick asked her.

"Some mumbo-jumbo about unlocking my inner power. That or cheese. I really don't know if she's wise, or an everyday enchanted acorn. And it teaches me patience...I think...." She says as her eyes have been open for a minute now. An hour later and she still has her eyes open. "I think I'm done for today. I'm going to go see if I can finally get proof that Spork is actually a demon spawn now. I'll be back soon." She says as she teleports away from the room.

"And now that she's gone I can plot how to start a fire in her room without her knowing. Hehehe...."

"Or you could just stay and not to do anything destructive." Pinkie said.
"Where did you come from?" Rick asked.

"You still think that logic applies to me? Really?"

"I would strangle you now if I had arms."

Pinkie then felt an invisible force choking her. She died. She then woke up and found that she was still alive. "Darn it! I thought that I might have actually died for a second there. Also, I think that you got the force. The author must really like you to do that. I'll have to kill him for giving me immortality though."

"B-but you were dead! How are you still alive!?"

Just then a fairy died. "I knew I should've listened to that fairy when she said that I would be revived...." She then found that her friend was still alive. "Thank goodness 'Navi,' I thought you might have been dead." Pinkie said as a light blue fairy flew around her head.

"Nope! I'm still as jumpy and ADHD full as ever!"

"ADHD? Oh...you must mean Pinkicus Piacus Sydrome."

"In the eye of the ti-er...this isn't the shower rooms...." Spork said confused.

"Uh...why would you think that this is the shower rooms?"

"It said, 'The Little Nut's Room' on the door."

"Oh, that's Twi's nickname."

"But shouldn't he nickname be Nick? Because if it's a nick name, then if you're a nick your name would be Nick. Or is my logic misguided here?"

"...I honestly don't know how to reply to that." The mare said before bouncing off, humming a song. Just moments later it began to rain....

"So...I'll be at a windmill if you need me." The fairy said before popping out of existence.

"What the buck just happened? And why do I smell a fire?" Spork said as he saw Rick trying to burn down the room. "Well Twilight will be in for a surprise.... Oh well, it's not my room, or time period. Later Rick!" Spork said before he headed off to find the shower rooms.

Author's Note:

Well, I just revealed Pinkie's secret...*cough*Pinkie! Stop! Now! Anyway, I was listening to random songs while making this chapter. "Tea" from the Nutcracker, and "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor. I also listened to Zelda music. Also, if you want to know why an originally put 'Navi' in quotations the I'll PM you. Also, if no one noticed in the last chapter, after the history lesson I mentioned something about Twilight's mind mating with something. And yes, Twilight named Spike Spork. She also doesn't know Pinkie's name. So, goodnight. (It's 23:47 for me.)

~FlameSwordedNu-I mean FlameSwordedLink. Not FlameSwordedNut....

I'm just wondering, before I go to bed, is it safe to sleep with scissors in your bed? No, seriously. I have scissors in my bed and am honestly wanting an opinion.

Comments

[Late Night Tales]

Scissors in bed? Most certainly. They are much more cuddly than teddy bears and they know when to be quiet. So keep your bed scissors with you every night.

Anyway, I hated the story, it wasn't crazy enough. Keep up the good work and make more nuttiness. No seriously. MORE CRAZINESS OR ELSE I WILL PROCEED TO TURN INTO A LEMON AND THEN PROCEED TO TURN YOU INTO A BANANA FILLED WITH YOGHURT!

[FlameSwordedLink]

3089707

To be honest, I don't even know how I got so many people to like it as it is. If you could tell me where you think I should be more crazy, that would be nice. THINK OF THE CUPCAKES!!!!! Also, this was originally sprouted by a typo of alicorn into acorn, so I cannot guarantee that I can go much more crazier. I will try, though.

...And strangely the scissors didn't effect me. I fell asleep last night while wearing headphones, and nothing happened. I'm beginning to think some evil being is trying to kill me but failing.

[Jphyper]

I never thought I'd say this, but this might actually be a bit too random for my tastes. Since this is already so wierd, I'm going to guess that Discord & his powers make things make sense. They make things so wierd that the possibly-metaphorical gauge goes all the way around to normal.

[SwallowtheWoodenToaster]

3089773That or some good being is eat the evil being before he kils you.