Scootaloo woke up to a strange room with a grey-blue unicorn filly nestled against her on one side and wrapped in a purple hoof on the other. She was caught between wanting to bolt, and enjoying the comfort of being nestled in between two ponies. It gave her time for her brain to catch up with the events of last night. Wiggling closer into Sparkler she let herself slowly wake up, her brain plotting plans for todays future crusades. If there were going to get 3 new members, including Dinky Doo, then she and the others needed to make sure that they were given a good crusade. After all just because it didn’t work for the founding members of the CMC didn’t mean that it wasn’t one of their special talents.
It was moments later when Dinky and Sparkler moved that Scootaloo had an opening to escape and shambled slowly over to the restroom. Looking at the mirror she fussed up her mane and brushed her teeth before going to the kitchen to make a quick breakfast where she saw Raindrops preparing breakfast off to the side was a large wall of boxes.
“Hey, what’re those boxes for?” Scootaloo asked.
“Well you see, a lot of the muffins were salvageable and I thought that rather than let them go to waste, there is a local shelter for the homeless here in Ponyville. It should be enough to last them a few days.” Raindrops said with a grin as she used her wings to flip a stack of pancakes from her frying pan into paper towel covered dish beside her.
“That’s kind of cool I guess, but why give it to shelters? Couldn’t you just sell them?” Scootaloo asked as she sat in the chair closest to the fridge.
“So Scootaloo, I see you’re an early riser. The sun won’t be up for another thirty minutes. Did you sleep well? As for your question, well I could, but those ponies need them more than I need the bits. That plus I’m rather well off with the stipends I get from the government, and the odd jobs I do around Ponyville among other things.”
“You bet, and I alway wake up early. It’s the best way to get where you want to go without being spotted. Also it allows me to get some grub before a quick rinse off.” Scootaloo said with a grin as she inhaled the aroma of the marvelous on the other side of the room.
“Well from here on out you won’t have to worry about that. You can sleep in if you want, you know?” Raindrops said pouring the thick, gooey, delicious pancake batter into the frying pan. It’s dough giving a tantalizing sizzle as Raindrops pressed the spatula to the batter.
“Um … I’ll be staying here for now right? I mean you’re not going to just send me off to somewhere when I become a nuisance?” Scootaloo said, voicing just some of the many worries that had kept her from coming out with her problem earlier.
“Of course you’ll be staying here. At the very least until the end of winter, and until we can find you a good home. But until then you will never have to worry about me kicking you out. I had Twilight put in the paper work so that I can look after you until then so there might be times where I might have to punish you if you do something bad, but I will never send you away nor will I be cruel. You can be assured that as long as you are under my care I am fair and will listen to you.”
“Alright … I know you said that I can wait to tell others. But when is the right time to tell them? I mean they are my friends, but they’ll hate me for lying to them won’t they?”
Raindrops walked over to Scootaloo and gave her a gentle winghug, “They might be sad that you didn’t tell them beforehoof, but a friend will stand by you, even when they find out a secret like this. Don’t worry about it, I promise that things have a way of working out.”
Scootaloo nuzzled closer towards the mare hugging her before the wings loosened and she pushed away softly. Looking up at this new mare that had come dropping into her life, “Thanks. I mean it. I don’t know of any other pony than Rainbow Dash who would’ve done all you’ve done so far.”
“Well I’m just glad that I found you and am able to help. Just remember that if you ever want to talk, even if it’s just to chit-chat I’ll be happy to lend you an ear.”
Scootaloo sat and watched Raindrops go about preparing breakfast, “So how did you get your Cutie Mark?”
“Well everypony has rainy days in their life. Storms that seem like it’ll never end. This symbolizes that, and my desire to help them through those points in their life.”
“That’s kind of cool I guess, so your Cutie Mark is for helping ponies?” Scootaloo asked tilting her head.
“That’s exactly right.” Raindrops said with a grin.
“So how did you get it? Me and the other Crusaders are trying to get ours and learning about how others get theirs should help us.” Scootaloo said, grinning along with Raindrops.
“Well after I was taken off the streets, I was in a dark place. The stallion who took me under his wings took me above the clouds and gave me a little speech. After months in community service what he said clicked with me, and I figured that all it takes is a helping hoof, a listening ear, or just being there for another pony can make all the difference and help them when they are feeling down. When that happened I knew what I wanted to do with my life and this cutie mark appeared.”
“I always though a cutie mark was gained from something you did, not what you felt.” Scootaloo said, her confusion written all over her face.
“Well for most ponies that’s how it goes. Some its something that they physically do, others it’s a mindset, and others it’s simply them being who they are. Heck, some ponies have many Cutie Marks, while most have one. I guess it’s just as special and different for every pony who eventually gets one. But whatever one you get will have a special meaning and connection to you when it happens.” Raindrops replied sagely.
“Wait… Multiple cutie marks! Like more than one!” Scootaloo jumped out of her seat, her wings buzzing loudly in her excitement. Ignoring everything else.
“Yes. For a very few ponies they have more than one Cutie Mark, and with some ponies their Cutie Marks aren’t static but shifting. Why? Didn’t your teacher talk to you about those?”
“No. But me and the girls have a lot to talk about later today.” Scootaloo was at this point vibrating with more enthusiasm than Pinkie Pie on a one week sugar and caffeine bender.
It was several hours later in school, sitting in her seat as everypony was waiting for the school day to start, where Scootaloo gathered the girls who were sitting next each other this school year, to announce the good news. “Guess what?!”
“What is it Scoots?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Miss Raindrops told me that there are ponies who have multiple Cutie Marks!” Scootaloo replied in a loud whisper her wings practically buzzing from the excitement.
“No way! You mean like when Apple Bloom got the Cutie Pox?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“I thought we were never going to talk about that ever again.” Apple Bloom mumbled while Scootaloo shrugged.
Sweetie Belle lifted her forehoof into the air and bounced excitedly on her seat until she received Cheerilee's attention, “Mrs. Cheerilee, is it true that a pony can get multiple cutie marks?”
At that question everypony familiar with the Cutie Mark Crusaders paled, and silence like a pall was cast over the classroom. Leaving a nervous Cheerilee to respond, “Where did you hear that?”
“Well Scootaloo said that someponies can have multiple cutie marks, what’s that like? Is it like the Cutie Pox or what?” Sweetie squeaked adorably.
I’m going to talk to Raindrops for dooming us all, but it would be wrong to lie to a student. Especially if they find out the truth anyways. I’m so going to need a drink with Big Mac tonight. “Well yes. Some very special ponies feel a special connection with many things and have many Special Talents, but that doesn’t mean that those with one are any less special. And the most important thing is to be patient. A Cutie Mark can’t be rushed and will come when it’s ready. Any more questions Sweetie Belle?” Cheerilee said with a wide, plastic grin.
“Nope!” Sweetie said followed by a loud chorus of, “Thank you Mrs. Cheerilee!” From Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle.
Oh Celestia save us! Cheerilee thought to herself before beginning with her lessons.
When recess finally arrived, the Crusaders gained 3 new arrivals being shepherded in by Scootaloo. The first in tow was Dinky, followed by a white and brown spotted, tiny Pinto colt, with the end of the group a mango orange pegasus filly a few shades lighter than scootaloo, with gold mane and bright orange eyes.
“Hey girls, these are our new Cutie Mark Crusader recruits, Dinky Doo, Pipsqueak, and Mango Dash. Me and Dinky Doo did cooking Cutie Mark Crusading last night, and It! Was! Awesome! She is definitely going to be good. The colt here is Pipsqueak. Dinky said that he’s alright. And finally Mango Dash… I think she’s the second cousin of Rainbow Dash, is the treasurer of the Rainbow Dash Fanclub, and Dinky tells me that her mother and Mango’s mom are dating. So I can vouch for her awesomeness.” Scootaloo said, proudly showing off the recruits.
Apple Bloom looked them over with a discerning eye and asked the only questions that
mattered, “Well Ah’ll accept y’all, but Ah wanna know something first. Are y’all willin’ ta do whatever it takes ta get yer Cutie Marks? ‘Cause the biggest thang about a Crusader is we ain’t afraid ta try anythang.”
After getting a murmur of assents Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle descended upon the
new trio before them with hugs and telling them that they would induct them in the afternoon.
“Oh! My! Celestia! They’re spreading!” Came a stuffy whine behind them. Other than
Mango Dash the group seemed to tense at the sound of Diamond Tiara’s voice, “I told you it was contagious Silver Spoon. We should warn others unless they catch their disease!”
“Just ignore them,” Apple Bloom muttered.
“Oh look, they seem to have gone deaf. I can’t blame them, after all, with a hick, a flightless chicken, a pony more of a wannabee than her sister, and a group of retards, I would think that the only language they would be able to hear is stupid.”
“Just ignore them,” Apple Bloom repeated.
“But oh well, if they can’t hear us then I guess they won’t hear what we are about to say isn’t that right Silver Spoon?”
“Yeah DT! I can’t believe that it hasn’t happened sooner.” Silver Spoon said moving closer to Diamond Tiara.
“Well I’m thinking Babs had the right idea before she turned traitor on how to deal with treat these blank flanks.” Diamond Tiara’s jowls quivered with evil glee.
At seeing the original crusaders do their best impersonation of statues, Mango Dash didn’t need to hear anymore to know that they were worried. Spinning around she used her wings to bash herself into Diamond Tiara’s muzzle forcing a whimper to escape her mouth as her flank hit the ground.
“Now listen here Creme Puff. I don’t care that you are nothing more than your father’s coin purse that grew legs and a mouth. And I don’t care that the only thing of worth that you will ever have is the money your father throws at you to leave him alone. Celestia knows I’d do the same thing, but if you ever! Ever! Lay a hoof or get somepony to lay a hoof on them,” She gave leaned further forcing Diamond Tiara to her belly with the force of the push. A loud whimper of fear coming from her as tears built up in her eyes, “I will break you like a pinata. Got me Creme Puff?”
“Yes! Yes! I won’t lay a hoof on them I swear!” Diamond Tiara cried.
After that Mango backed up giving Diamond Tiara to rub her nose, “Good, because I would hate to waste Auntie Dashie’s Mare Wrecker move on a pony like you. And you, Thunderthighs’ Shadow, I don’t know what this thing has over you, but it isn’t worth it. If you ever want to hang out with ponies that are actually worth hanging around come on and see us. Oh, and Creme Puff, you really should get on a diet other than Hoho’s. It’s a shame it’s starting to go to your flank and the thing you call a face.” Mango said with a grin.
As she turned to the Crusader’s expecting relief for her sticking up for them she was met with glares. Which brought up a confused look, and a strangled gulp from her, “What’s the matter?”
“We ain’t a bunch of bullies Mango, we appreciate ya stickin’ up for us, but it was wrong ta sink ta her level.” Apple Bloom said, shaking her head in disappointment.
“But I didn’t do anything wrong! I was protecting you like Auntie Dash did when the bullies didn’t stop picking on Flutters. Why are you treating me like I was the bully?” Mango asked with a slight heat in her voice.
“We know, and thank you. But hurting her feelings like that was just as bad as what she did. We are better than that.” Sweetie said trotting up to her and putting a hoof on her shoulder.
Giving an angry sigh, she hung her head and she tried to organize her thoughts, “I don’t get why all of you are angry with me, and this isn’t an excuse but I guess I should explain myself. In Las Pegasus I tried ignoring them, and usually when they can’t get a rise out of you that’s it. It’s no longer fun for them. But a few don’t care and have it out for you. Those bullies like DT, when you ignore them they go to other means of hurting you, more physical ways. I knew quite a few ponies who got really hurt when it got bad enough so Auntie Dash taught me martial arts to protect myself and others, but she always told me that words and low blows were always better than hooves if you could help it.
So I did that. I learned how to see at a glance what would hit them the hardest, and after I got them hard enough they’d leave me alone. A few decided that they wanted to scrap and I didn’t start it, just like Auntie Dash said, ‘ I better not start a fight but I sure as Tartarus better end it.’ So when I saw that she threatened you and how scared you all looked I did what I was told was the best way of dealing with them … you weren’t supposed to get angry with me. So … do you all forgive me?” She asked finally looking up.
The other Crusaders, inductees and founding members alike wrapped her in a hug, “Well I guess none of us can blame ya for doing what your family taught ya. But if yer gonna be a Crusader ya can’t go around hurtin’ other ponies. Otherwise we’re no better than they are. But if it ever gets physical than we’d be mighty proud of ya for protectin’ us while one of us gets an adult. Although it’d be good if ya didn’t go around breakin’ her like a pinata.” Apple Bloom said nuzzling Mango consolingly.
“Kays. But if anypony tries to hurt you all I’m gunna buck some flank.” Mango said wiggling between the mound of pony hugs.
“That’s perfectly fine. We might as well face the music, we’ll go with ya ta see Miss Cheerilee. After all we Crusader’s stick together like white on a paper plate in a snowstorm, and we leave no Crusader behind.” Apple Bloom said with a nod.
“So we’re still going to be friends?” Mango asked everypony to which she was met with an affirmative round of approval. When they parted, the Cutie Mark Unity field that binds all Cutie Mark Crusaders together activated and they did a group hoofbump shouting, “Cutie Mark Crusaders together forever!” with such force the air itself shook.
Cheerilee was sitting down enjoying a few moments of relaxation, reading a romance novel from Rarity’s personal stash when Diamond Tiara came thundering in with Silver Spoon in close pursuit. She placed her book down as Diamond Tiara broke down in a corner and wept, ignoring everything around her. In the time it took to console her enough to speak legible words another group of ponies came into the schoolhouse. Turning around to tell them to go outside she saw the Cutie Mark Crusaders with a guilty looking Mango Dash in the fore of them.
“Do any of you know why Diamond Tiara came in here wailing like a banshee for the last,” Looking at the clock on the wall, “five minutes?” She asked, throwing them the teacher’s stare that could make almost any filly or colt squirm under its piercing gaze.
“Well you see, she was bullying us, and we tried ignoring her. Then she made a threat that while I don’t get it was enough to make my friends here looked like Princess Celestia herself was going to banish them to the moon or something so I stood up for them. And I might have been more verbally caustic than I should have.” Mango said, looking at anywhere but Cheerilee while pawing the ground.
Cheerilee looked at the terrified Diamond Tiara, “I want to know what you said to them, and don’t try saying nothing. I’ve heard about the things that you’ve done to others.” She said in a gentle but firm manner. Diamond looked over to Mango and saw a glare as if daring her to lie. Gulping she broke down and told Mrs. Cheerilee the events that led up to her confrontation with Mango Dash, but with images of what a Mare Wrecker would look like dancing in her mind’s eye didn’t say what Mango did.
“What exactly did you mean that Babs had the right idea, and how was she a traitor?” Mrs. Cheerilee asked.
“Well she was a tra-tra-traitor because sh-she sided with those Blan- I mean ponies rather than us. And sh-sh-she was more physical with her bullying than we we-we-were.” Diamond Tiara said between sobs.
“What did I say about saying the B-word to others Diamond Tiara, and threatening a pony with physical harm is serious.” Mrs. Cherrilee scolded while holding Diamond Tiara in a hug. Looking over at Mango Dash she waved her over.
“Both of you were in the wrong. She shouldn’t have threatened you, but Mango Dash, whatever you said to her was just as bad. Both of you, as well as Silver Spoon, will be receiving detention. I’ll be speaking with your parents when they come to pick you up.”
She heard a chorus of coughs from the Crusaders, “Mrs. Cheerilee, we were there when it happened and we talked to Mango, and we are just as in the wrong as Mango here so we’ll take whatever punishment she gets since we didn’t stop her from standing up for us the way she did.”
“Well then if you all think that’s what you want then okay. Hopefully we can put an end to this, and I expect a sincere apology out of all of you by next week. That should give you time to make a real apology.”
It was after school. Seven fillies and one colt sat dejectedly the classroom, and seven irate guardians argued amongst themselves, with Raindrops and Cheerilee trying to calm the group down.
“Well I don’t see why my innocent little princess and her friend have to be subjected to punishment where that degenerate is clearly at fault, as well as those friends of hers. No offense to Miss Apple, but my daughter tells me how they look down on her and Silver Spoon,” Filthy Rich said, taking an aggressive stance while Mr. and Mrs. Spoon stood by him giving approving yells of encouragement.
“Innocent! If I had a bit for every time my precious Sweetie Belle came home in tears, and it took almost an hour to tell me the cruel things your daughter had subjected her and her friends to, I would have more gold than the Princesses.” Rarity said indignantly, throwing her nose up at Filthy Rich.
“Yeah! Ah’m proud ta do business with ya Filthy, but yer daughter is a cruel one. We shoulda talked about this ages ago, but we are both in the wrong in that we never talked about that daughter of yers. Ah’ll admit that when she gets a holda the company I don’t know if Apple Bloom’ll be willin’ ta do business with yer company. And no offense but yer daughter’s been lyin’ ta ya. As the Element of Honesty Ah can tell ta that’s the Celestia’s honest truth.” AJ said, removing her hat and holding it to her chest.
“Well I’m just glad that you used your words rather than your hooves. I personally am not going to punish Sweetie for standing up to others being threatened with violence. Although Mr. Rich you should teach your daughter that it’s not alright to hurt other ponies, and hopefully this teaches her that words can be painful.”
This broke out another round of arguments that were only ended when a cough from the corner got everyone’s attention, “It’s true, daddy. I’ve been lying to you, and I’ve done what the Crusaders’ guardians have been saying.” Diamond Tiara said, the room was so quiet as Diamond Tiara walked to her family that her hoofsteps sounded like thunder strikes signaling her impending doom.
“Be that as it may. It was still wrong of them to go use such drastic measures. So they both have a week to come up with a suitable apology. And Miss Dash, while it isn’t my place to tell a parent how to raise their child, and I’m glad she didn’t resort to physical violence, the way she went about it was just as harmful to her as what Diamond Tiara was doing,” She looked at the each of the guardians in the room, “I’m going to have to look more deeply into Diamond Tiara’s and Silver Spoon’s bullying of others. Since I can’t be seen as having favorites everyone is being given the same punishment.” Cheerilee said to everypony.
It was at this time that a disappointed Spoon family, and Filthy Rich finally spoke up, “Well it looks like we’ve been made fools of,” Looking at the other family members in the room, “We’ll make sure that Diamond is properly punished, and Mrs Cheerilee, I ask that you wait for her apology until after I personally deal with the problem.”
Mr. Spoon, a stallion with the same color scheme of Silver Spoon and a Hoity Toity manedo, he had a body of somepony that was once in shape, but had let his body go to seed, spoke up, his deep, tenor voice betraying his thin body, “We all were deceived. If I didn’t know the truth of my daughter’s cutie mark, I’d say that her special talent was deception. I must ask that our daughter be given the same extension. Although I would also say that is our daughters who were in the wrong first to drive young Miss Dash to do what she did. So I must ask that they give their apology after ours give theirs first.
“And Silver, you can be assured that we are most displeased of you making us out to be fools. As for all of you. Please forgive us for our previous words and actions. We were under the impression that they retaliated to being instigated themselves. Can you forgive our actions?”
It was Mr. Squeak who answered first, “I can accept that, Mr. Spoon. We all do stupid things when we think our children are wronged, and it takes a mighty big stallion to admit they were wrong.” The massive mountain of a Pinto said, offering a gigantic hoof to shake. The others gave various sounds of assent.
“Well since you all are in agreement, I’ll allow it. That covers it I guess. Have a good afternoon, and I hope with this all out in the open we can stomp out the bullying problem here in Ponyville.” Cheerilee said with a relieved sigh.
“I have one question: how bad has our daughter’s bullying been?” Mr. Rich asked.
“Well, we resolved it in school, but you remember Gabby Gums?” Mrs. Cheerilee asked.
This was met by a collective look at the former group of journalists, then a shudder at the memory of the embarrassment that was dished out by them.
“It turns out that they wanted to stop when they learned it was hurting ponies, but Diamond Tiara blackmailed them into continuing it long after that. Then Featherweight told me about what was going on and since then I’ve banned her from all positions of power in the school, and let other teachers know of her problem.”
“Blackmail … I see. Apple Bloom, does she still do that often?” Filthy Rich said with an eerie calm.
“I don’t wanna be a tattle tale Mr. Rich.” Apple Bloom said pawing the ground.
“It’s ok. I’m eventually going to everypony wronged by my family and I am going to learn everything. But I want to know from you if she’s done more of this?” Filthy Rich said laying on the ground so that he could be eye level with Apple Bloom.
“Well when us girls or other ponies try ignoring her, or she’s feeling particularly nasty, she threatens us. Saying that she can get ya ta do stuff to us or our families. Or she can get ya ta stop doin’ business with somepony.” Apple Bloom said.
Applejack looked at her with that piercing gaze she got when she was measuring whether a pony was being honest with her, “Apple Bloom, tell me true. Has she really been doin’ that to ya and other ponies? Now I want the truth.”
Apple Bloom looked angrily at her sister and stomped her foot, “Yes it is! I know better than lyin’ even if it is about that rotten snake Diamond Tiara!” Catching herself, she looked at Filthy, “Sorry Mr. Rich. That was rude of me ta call yer daughter that. Even if she is one.”
“I can’t blame you on that,” Standing up he looked at his foal and with an iron cold glare, “Go home now. The butler will take you and I don’t want to see nor hear you until I’m ready to talk to you. Now leave.” His voice when he spoke to her was as cold as his glare.
“Now to everypony in this room, I want to assure you that none of your livelihoods are in danger from me. Not even when I had misplaced anger, I would never threaten that. But it has come to my attention that I have a lot to do. Applejack, will you forgive this fool his moment of stupidity?” He asked with a sincere bow of his head.
“Of course Ah forgive ya. But, and Ah apologise if this is out of line, that daughter of yours needs ta learn some manners or she ain’t gonna make it far in this world.”
“Isn’t that the truth. I’ll be in touch with you all later. But for now I need to cool my head and think about what to do with her.” With that he walked out with a calm resolve that made the atmosphere feel five pounds heavier.
It was shortly after that exchange, before everypony left with their various guardians the Cutie Mark Crusaders met for one last time., “Listen, everypony. Thanks for sticking by me, and letting me join you Crusaders. It made things a lot more easier for me to do the right thing. Take care, I’ll probably see you all tomorrow.” Mango said, taking charge of the conversation.
“Yeah, we Crusaders stick together, and I’m just glad that you learned the lesson we learned when we went too far with Babs. You look like a really good pony, and, well, thanks for sticking up for us. I’m sure we all appreciate it.” Sweetie said with a smile which was reflected with the other crusaders giving their thanks.
“Scootaloo and Dinky,” Raindrops said in a calm, gentle voice,“Well, Dinky, you already know this, but I want you both to know that no matter what happens, as long as you are honest with me, you might be in a little trouble, but it will all turn out alright in the end. Okay?”
After they both nodded, Scootaloo more confused than anything else, Raindrops continued, “I want you both to tell me what happened. And just what Diamond Tiara has done to you. Who wants to go first?”
“Why do we have to tell you?” Scootaloo asked.
“Simply because from what I heard today she’s been doing this kind of thing for a long time, am I right?” She said looking at Scootaloo, who looked at the ground and gave a sad nod.
Draping her wings over Dinky and Scootaloo’s backs she said, “It might not seem like it, but sometimes just talking to somepony about it helps lift that weight off your back, and when Mr. Rich comes over it’ll help getting rid of any anger and hurt you have now rather than taking it out on somepony else. That and it’s a way to let you know that I’m here for you. Both of you.” She said, giving her charges a gentle squeeze.
“Well then can we wait till we get home? This is going to be a long talk.”
“Of course, there’s no rush.” The rest of the walk went in peace and quiet as they headed home.
I'm surprised DT admitted her deeds. Mango must have scared living hell out of her. Finally someone resolved to that.
Mezzo-soprano is actually fairly high pitch. It is second highest woman singing voice...
3108369
I was actually looking for a voice between Soprano and Baritone. Somewhat deep and rich, but not that loud, or the rumbling qualities of a Deeper voice. And Wiki wasn't really that helpful.
3108383 tenor (highest male voice) would fit that. It is usually rich and takes main roles in operas.
The last of this chapter had me rolling with laughter Just knowing How badly DT is in troube is making me laugh so hard.
Hmmm.
This one feels off somehow. But, it's still good, nonetheless.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3108585
Changed to tenor. Thank you for that , and on your earlier comment, yep Mango put the fear of Celestia in her. So her and SS are no longer going to be popping up to steal the lime light and hurt the CMC.
3108877
Although I won't be going into too much detail, me and my editor decided to go with a less karmatically appropriate punishment. While still giving her some just deserts. Especially if you add in the years of felony's and abuse she's gotten away with to now. It brings a grin to face thinking about it.
3108921
Thank you. But where / what abouts feels off? I can either do a quick touch up to resolve it or fix it in a later chapter. Or I can just talk about it in the comment sections if it's something me and my editor have talked about.
3109002 I still wanna go with..... you know what I will keep that to myself and use it in my fic later for her punishment
3109002
I'll need to re read it, but it was the characters that felt off.
If you'll give me time... I can take a look and tell you my thoughts?
~Skeeter The Lurker
3109015
Originally I wanted to strip her of her Cutie Mark, since her Cutie Mark is dependent on others wealth for her to lord over others with [well more accurately it is about having wealth is her special talent], and without that she'd lose it.
My editor put his foot down so now it's going to be something less evil. Although we'll get to see what happens to a pony when they can't preform their special talent [it'll be subtle to a degree]. But everyone will find out what that is this upcoming chapter.
3109040
Sounds like a plan. I look forward to it.
Very good chapter, nice to see you actually managed to go one better than my own attempt at doing a chapter like this it's also good to see that you went more down the route of don't become a bully yourself, it seems more to the my little pony theme and i like the way mango dash attacked her because lets be honest we all have that part of us that just wants to see her get payback for what she's done
i also like the way Scootaloo seems to act however in this chapter you did have to switch between a lot of ponies so the chapter wasn't really focused on her but i wasn't bothered by it.
as far as punctuation goes i didn't see anything wrong with it, the only little tiny thing and its not even a problem is the huge gaps between time shifts, i dunno how you make those horizontal line things but you have to scroll down quite a bit to reach the next set of words but thats me going overboard on nit picking
all in all another amazing chapter and i cannot wait to see more.
3109378
Fixed at as much as it'll go. I got the page dividers from Google Images. But the rest is the natural spacing of the image itself. I hope that fixes things. As for the whole interaction with DT that actually took some editing and rewrites to get it spiffy. But yep, a part of everyone just wants to see DT get her comeuppance that never happens on the show. Between Mango scaring her to death, and what her father has in store is going to be a thing of magic almost more magical than friendship.
Thanks for the comments .
3109425 its no problem always a pleasure to read your work
MOAR!
Are you going to ship Raindrops with anypony?
3112940
Yep. First I want to get Scootaloo settled and things set into motion.
3113636 I'm going to take a wild guess as to who: Cloudkicker.
3114131
Oh ,, snap, DT be getting it.
Really starting to like the new CMC members. Quite theckub they have got going on. Can't wait to read more but it'll need to wait until I'm less loopy from anesthetics
Got that toof out!
I always thought Dinky was the younger sister to Ditsy. Ditsy doesn't look that old.
3607058
Actually in Twilight's CMC flashback. You see Ditzy flying in the background as young as she was in S1. She literally doesn't age a day.
Two things.
A) We just had an Eldritch God blast its way out of Raindrops' oven – which was no big deal, who cares? But now we're going to take a life lesson on bullying and getting violent – so much more serious than an immortal demon of world-destroying potential emerging from baked goods! Yeah, I can't take anything seriously about this story.
B) Plot's moving along awful fast. Why would the most despicable, underhanded and mean filly at school so readily admit to her wrongdoings? Totally OOC without a few days (minimal) of soul searching to back it up.
Sorry if my criticisms seem a little harsh.
..... *slap* DAMNIT BRAIN !!!
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. You're welcome.
Sorry, this was a really cute story right up until you brought Diamond Tiara in. I felt having an OC, 'deal', her deprived the story of drama and the fact said OC is related to Dash just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I've read far too many fictions with OC's being related to Dash where they only derail or deprive the actual characters in the story of development.