Abstract Helps Kyo Date Gilda

by AbstractThought

Chapter 15-Heading Home

Whew, what a day. I traveled with my best friend to a desert town, helped him find his sweetheart there, met up with the buffalo, learned about their culture, got dragged into helping an egotistical magician with her magic show, screwed up, got my horn buried in the ground, and had to spend about an hour in that uncomfortable position while I finished talking with the buffalo. All in all, it was…interesting to say the least. At least I was able to make some new friends and get the material I needed for my article. Now I just had to find Kyo and we could go home. Hopefully I wouldn’t have to comfort a heartbroken Kyo; it’d just tear me up seeing him suffer so.

While wandering the town in search of Kyo, I came across our suitcases still sitting in the middle of the street. Weird how no one touched it all this time. Are all the ponies here so morally upright that it never occurs to any of them to take anypony else’s stuff that’s lying around, or are our suitcases just unattractive to thieves? That interesting train of thought was derailed when I heard a high-pitched noise growing louder. I didn’t have much time to wonder about it and look around for its source before I felt myself get squeezed and lifted off the ground.

“A.T., A.T.!” Kyo shouted as he flew up into the air and squeezed the life out of me. “I did it, I did it! She likes me, she likes me, SHE LIKES ME! Thank you thank you thank you so much! You’re the best friend a pony could ask for!”

“A-anytime,” I gasped. “C-could you not hold me so tight, please?”

“Oh, sorry!” Kyo grimaced and loosened his hold on me. “I’m just so happy! Gilda actually called me cool! She even rubbed her spit on my cheek! Look!” He turned his right cheek at me and got it uncomfortably close to my face. “Actual griffon spit!”

I winced and said, “Uh, no offense, Kyo, but I’m not turned on by Gilda’s spit like you are.” I looked away and noticed with alarm how far above the ground we were. “GAH!” I cried as I wrapped my forelimbs around Kyo. “Hold me tighter!”

Kyo giggled and hugged me tightly as he fluttered down to the ground. “Thanks for helping my dream come true, A.T.,” he said warmly.

“Anything for you, Kyo,” I responded with a smile as I felt my hooves touch the ground. Oh, I missed you, ground. As we released each other, I asked, “So, Kyo, ready to go home?”

“You know it!” Kyo answered with a beam. “I can’t wait to get back to where there’s air conditioning and power for my games!” He flew up to his suitcase and grabbed it by the handle. “Let’s go!”

“Alright!” I chimed in as I grabbed mine with my magic.

“Wait!” I turned in the direction of the voice and saw Cardinal Wing galloping towards us. “I want to come with you!”

“What, really?” I asked in surprise.

Kyo stared. “…And you are?”

“Oh, I’m Cardinal Wing!” the buffalo greeted. “I’m a friend of Abstract’s!”

“Oh, well, nice to meet you!” Kyo said. “I’ve never really met a buffalo before! What are they like?”

“I’ll show you the interview on the train,” I interjected. “So, you want to come with us to Ponyville? I thought you were happy here!”

“I am, it’s just…” Cardinal rubbed his hoof on the dirt bashfully. “I really want to learn more about magic! When I saw Trixie’s performance, I was so amazed! It was like nothing I’ve ever seen! You can’t imagine how devastated I was to find out it was just a trick.”

I felt the temptation to make a snarky comment about the word trick and Trixie, but I figured that wouldn’t exactly be comforting to poor Cardinal, so I instead said, “Yeah, I’m really sorry I tried to help the illusion.”

“It’s fine,” Cardinal insisted. “At least you show everyone what a fake she was.”

“Yeah, accidentally,” I replied flatly.

“Uh, what exactly did I miss when I was on my date?” Kyo asked in confusion.

“Tell ya later,” Cardinal and I both said in unison. Huh, spooky.

“Anyway,” Cardinal continued, “I really want to see what real pony magic is like! I can’t even imagine what sort of things magic is really capable of!”

“Pretty much everything, really,” I admitted nonchalantly.

“What he said,” Kyo added.

“So what do you say?” Cardinal asked. “Can I come with you? Please?” He gave us the biggest “puppy dog eyes” he could muster, though considering buffalo eyes weren’t nearly as big as pony eyes, it wasn’t very impressive. Still, it was pretty funny to see.

Although I was happy that I had made a new friend who was eager to hang out in Ponyville with me and Kyo, I couldn’t help but wonder what Cardinal would do for living conditions and such. Were there even any houses that could fit someone the size of a buffalo? Not to mention, how would he make money? I’m not entirely sure how the stuff he did for his tribe would translate to a suburban environment. I decided it’d be best to discuss it with Kyo. Turning to him, I asked, “Hey Kyo, do you think that…”

“Of course it’d be alright!” Kyo exclaimed. “Any friend of Abstract’s is a friend of mine!” Oh Kyo. Way to think with your heart as usual.

Cardinal made a squealing sound that sounded like the kind Kyo made when he was excited, only deeper, and stomped on the ground excitedly. “Oh, this is so exciting!” he shouted. “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” With that, he broke into a gallop and charged off into the distance behind me. Good thing he didn’t hug me, or I probably wouldn’t live to tell the tale.

I turned to where he had run off and called, “Hey, Cardinal! Do you even know where you’re going?”

I saw him skid to a halt, and then he turned back and called back, “Uhh, maybe you should lead the way?”

Kyo and I giggled at that. Oh, I can tell this guy is going to be a lot of fun to have in Ponyville.

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We had gotten on the next train back to Ponyville and were now just relaxing. Well, when I say “we”, I meant Kyo and me. Cardinal Wing had tried getting onto the train earlier, but he couldn’t fit through the door and even tilted the train due to how heavy he was. While it certainly made me laugh at the time, it really didn’t help my concerns with him literally fitting in, so to speak. Anyway, he decided to just run along with the train the whole way. He assured us it would be okay; all that long-distance herd running he did for buffalo tradition had given him plenty of stamina. Well, whatever works for him, I guess.

Kyo and I spent the first hour or so sharing our individual experiences in Appleloosa. I was impressed by how Kyo handled his date for the most part; even when he screwed up, he put forth an admirable effort to make things right. It was good to hear that Gilda had a somewhat soft side beneath her rough exterior; guess Rainbow Dash wasn’t totally off the mark about her after all. Kyo was impressed by my story as well, though he was clearly more interested in the magic show part than any of the buffalo culture stuff. Maybe if I had been studying griffon culture instead, that’d get Kyo’s attention.

The rest of the train ride was pretty uneventful for the most part. We talked, played games, napped…pretty boring really, especially considering it was the second day-long train ride in less than two days. Seriously, there’s gotta be a faster way to travel. Oh well, I’ll worry about it next time I go traveling.

Later that day, as we ate dinner (which included hash browns, an interesting dish that I really don’t get enough of back home), Kyo asked me, “Hey, A.T.?”

“Yeah?” I responded with my mouth full. Classy.

Kyo gave a long sigh. “You think I’ll ever see Gilda again?”

I swallowed. “I’m not sure,” I admitted. “I mean, Gilda didn’t leave you any sort of way to contact her easily, did she?”

“Not really,” Kyo replied. “Is there even such a thing, though?”

“I don’t think so,” I said. “The most convenient contact method I’ve ever seen is Spike’s magic mailing fire stuff, and that’s not exactly common.”

Kyo gave another sigh and rested his head on his hoof. “Seriously, there needs to something that lets ponies talk to each other over long distances more easily,” he griped. “Maybe some sort of portable device like the JoyBoy, except designed for long distance communication. That’d make keeping in touch with Gilda a lot easier, I bet.”

“Kyo,” I responded, “sometimes you just come up with the craziest ideas.”

“Hey!” Cardinal called from beside the train window. “Would you mind tossing some food my way? I’m pretty hungry.”

“Sure thing!” I levitated everything that was still on my plate (I had already had my fill), moved it out the window, and lowered it to Cardinal’s mouth, which chomped on it heartily.

“Mmm, delicious!” Cardinal said with a smile.

“Thanks!” I replied. “How’re you holding up?”

“Doing well!” he assured me. “Nothing I haven’t done before…all day…and night…” His smile became noticeably strained at that point.

An awkward silence arrived for a few seconds, before it was broken by Kyo saying, “So anyway, uh, even if I never see Gilda again, I’m still glad I got the chance to meet her. And if I could do everything over again, I wouldn’t change a thing.” He gave me a calm smile, which turned into a pained grimace as he added, “Well, except maybe eating that steak. My stomach’s still feeling the burn from that!”

I couldn’t help but giggle at that. A little insensitive, perhaps, but come on; his whole adventure was pretty funny. I guess mine was too, when I think about it. After all, at the end of the day, when you’ve gone through an ordeal and yet came out alright in the end, what can you do but look back and laugh?

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The next day, we finally arrived at Ponyville. Home sweet home! Appleloosa was interesting, but it can’t compare to our quirky little ville of ponies. As the train slowed to a stop, I heard Cardinal pant from outside, “Are…are we finally here?”

“Yep, we’re here,” I replied with a smile. “Welcome to Ponyville!”

“Alright!” he gasped as he slowed to a crawl. “I’m so excited…so much magic to see…so many oppor…tuni…” All of a sudden, he collapsed onto the ground and fell asleep, snoring loudly. Heh, guess his welcome party will have to wait till later.

“So…what will we do about the furball?” Kyo asked.

“Eh, we’ll figure it out later,” I decided. “Let him get his rest for now.” I stood up and stretched my legs before grabbing my bags with my magic. “Shall we?”

“Sounds good!” Kyo grabbed his bags and flew out leisurely, and I followed suit. As we stepped out of the station, he asked me, “So, you in the mood for some Princess Fighter? I’m really in a griffon sort of mood, and I can’t wait to dominate with Grizelda!”

“Heh, we’ll see about that!” I replied playfully. As we headed to Kyo’s house to get our game on (with a quick stop at my place to drop off my luggage), I felt myself dwell on everything that had happened. It’s amazing how everything turned out the way it did. I can’t help but wonder: was this all predetermined? Was Kyo meant to win over Gilda’s heart the way he did? Was I meant to interact with the buffalo and end up ruining Trixie’s reputation again? Is there truly a grand force making us all go down the paths we take? Did that whole botched spell Twilight did just before becoming an alicorn mess with that force, or was that the force’s plan all along? Is there any way to outsmart it, or is every thought I think just playing into its plans? Do I even want to go against my destiny? …Yeesh, my head hurts from all this thinking. Hopefully some video games with Kyo will take care of that.

So anyway, we had just come up to Kyo’s house and opened the front door when…

“SURPRISE!”

“AAH!” Kyo and I jumped back in alarm, with Kyo managing quite the distance thanks to his wings.

“Happy Kyo-Dated-A-Griffon-Even-Though-She-Was-A-Big-Meanie Day!” Pinkie Pie cheered from inside. As I calmed down, I noticed that at least half the town was in the living room, which was pretty impressive considering it wasn’t all that big, especially with all the game stuff in there. But then, considering Pinkie Pie put it together, I’m not going to bother questioning her about that. Besides, there was a more pressing question that needed to be answered.

“Wait…a surprise party for Kyo’s date?” I asked as I stepped back inside. “How did you find out about that?”

Pinkie’s smile twisted into a grimace. “Weeeeellllll…I was pranking with Dashie yesterday when she happened to mention dealing with some crazy lovesick pony, and I kinda sorta pestered her about it even though she told me over and over that she didn’t wanna talk about it, but then she did and told me about Kyo and his super huge crush on that meanie Gilda, and I really wanted to throw a party for him, cause whether he got lucky or got dumped, a party makes everything better!” There was a pause where Pinkie surprising (or not) didn’t need to take a breath of air after that energetic rambling, which was then followed up with, “Sooooooo…how did the date go?”

“It went great!” Kyo shouted from right behind me, causing me to leap forward with a yelp. Seriously, how’d me manage to sneak up on me like that?! “Gilda and I are totally an item now,” he added in the coolest manner he could muster, arousing a chorus of cheers and whoops (along with a few boos and groans).

“WOOHOO!” Pinkie exclaimed with a spring into the air. “This calls for some party music! And here to get this party started is DJ ScramJet!” She gestured to the sound mixer, which had none other than the metal-winged unicorn from earlier behind it.

“Alright,” ScramJet said as he readied the mixer. “This is my first finished song, so I hope you guys like it! And don’t worry, Abstract, I won’t play it too loud this time.”

“Oh, uh, thanks!” I replied.

With that, ScramJet got his music started (which was pretty decent, especially for his first song) and the ponies started dancing. Kyo buzzed over to the refreshment table and started hurriedly filling a plate with chips and sweets. Chuckling, I went over to get some food myself. There was quite a spread of nourishment, as was normal for a Pinkie party. I wasn’t quite sure where to start.

“Try the muffins!” a gray mare next to me suggested as she grabbed a muffin for herself and took a big bite. “Mmm!”

I looked at the muffins on the table, which were grain-colored with some white and dark brown specs on it. With a shrug, I grabbed a muffin for myself and took a bite. “Mmm!” I echoed as my taste buds were filled with the sensation of chocolate, cream cheese, and…muffin. It was a strange combination, but it somehow worked. “This is amazing! Who made these?”

“I did!” the gray pony answered between bites of muffin.

“Wow, really?” I asked in astonishment. “How’d you get so good?”

“Hehe, if there’s one thing I know, it’s muffins!” she replied with a chipper smile.

I couldn’t help but giggle along with her. There was something about her cheerfulness that was just so infectious. Or maybe it was her comically misaligned eyes. I wondered what the deal with that was, but I decided not to bring it up in case it was a sensitive issue. “Hey, so, uh, I can’t help but think I’ve seen you around town, but I never learned your name,” I said.

“Oh, you can call me Derpy!” the pony greeted. “And what’s your name?”

“Oh, uh, it’s Abstract Thought, but you can call me A.T. for short,” I replied. “So, Derpy, huh? That’s an interesting name, for sure.”

“Hehe, thanks!” Derpy giggled, prompting me to giggle with her again. Seriously, there’s just something about her giggling. “So, I heard you helped Kyo get together with Gilda, huh?”

“Heh, well,” I said as I rubbed the back of my neck bashfully, “I just helped him find her; the charm was all his.”

I suddenly felt myself get pulled into a nice, cuddly embrace. “That was so sweet of you to do for your friend!” Derpy gushed.

I felt myself grow warmer under her embrace. “Heh, uh, well, you know, eh…” I think I stammered like an idiot for about half a minute before Derpy let me go with a giggle.

“Well, I gotta go to the little filly’s room,” she told me. “Don’t have too much without me!” She then flew off down the hall that led to the bathroom, and I heard a crashing noise come from there. “Oops, my bad!”

Well, that was certainly a pleasant surprise. Getting a hug from a cute mare for helping my friend? Feels like a good destiny to me! I didn’t even realize I was still staring in the direction she had left under I heard Kyo whisper in my ear, “Checking out your new girlfriend?”

“Whoa, hey!” I cried with a start as I turned to meet Kyo. “She’s not my girlfriend! I just met her! That’s a little early to declare the love of your life, wouldn’t you say?”

Kyo raised an eyebrow at that.

“Oh, right, of course,” I realized with a slap to my head. “Look who I’m talking to.”

“You got that right!” Kyo replied with a grin. “So, you want to join me for some games? I’m thinking a little 4-player action is just what I need to celebrate!”

I gave Kyo a hoofbump and matched his grin with one of my own. “Game on!”

So yeah, that’s the story of how I helped Kyo date Gilda. Among other things… Anyway, I hope you enjoyed our little tale! It’ll certainly be one I’ll never forget, and I’m sure he feels the same way. There are plenty more stories I could tell, but I’ll save them for another time. Until then, my name is Abstract Thought, and it’s been a pleasure!

The End