Abstract Helps Kyo Date Gilda

by AbstractThought

Chapter 14-The Eagle Has Landed

After what felt like ages, Gilda and I had finally emptied our stomachs of the apparently tainted meat and were now reclining against the outhouse, trying to get our energy back. There was a tense silence between the two of us, and I wasn’t sure what to do next. I decided to be bold and surreptitiously move my hoof on top of Gilda’s talon in hopes that she’d be touched and forget any hard feelings she may have had about me accidentally food poisoning her. Yeah, I’m not a smart pony.

“Don’t touch me!” Gilda snapped, quickly moving her claw away from me. “You and your stupid rotten meat! You’ve got to be the dumbest cook I’ve ever met!”

“Hey, I’ve never cooked meat before!” I said defensively. “I learned how to do it just for you! I was hoping you’d like it!”

“Yeah, sure, who wouldn’t like puking your guts out in a stinking outhouse?!” Gilda retorted.

“Hey, at least you got to share that moment with someone who loves you, right?” I offered with a winning smile. Definitely not a smart pony.

“Ugh!” Gilda quickly took to the air, still looking somewhat strained from lack of energy. “You’re an even bigger creep than I could have imagined! I am so done with this crap!”

I suddenly felt like I might throw up again, despite throwing up everything I had earlier. What? She’s leaving?! NO! I can’t lose my beloved Gilda! There’s gotta be some way to salvage this! “NO, WAIT!” I shouted just as Gilda started to fly off.

“What?!” she barked back.

“Please don’t go! I can make this up to you, I swear!” I said frantically. “I can…I can give you a massage!”

Gilda raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms at that. “A massage? You’re kidding, right?”

“No, seriously!” I assured her. “I learned how from the best masseuse in Ponyville! And the lessons are a lot fresher in my mind than our lunch was!” I decided not to mention the broken bones that resulted from those lessons.

“No. You’ve done more than enough,” Gilda growled.

“Come on, when was the last time you had a massage?” I coaxed her. “Just lying down, feeling all your worries melt away as your muscles are rubbed in just the right way to eliminate the tension? Just relaxing with nothing in the world but you and that massage, feeling yourself drift away…” By that point, my voice had become soft and I was lying on the ground, eyes drooped nearly shut. Heck, I wondered if I had hypnotized myself or something.

Gilda glowered at me for what felt like forever, until she finally slapped a talon to her face and said, “I must be out of my feathering mind…Fine, I’ll let you massage me or whatever, but if you mess me up in any way…” She held up a claw threateningly to illustrate her point.

“Oh, thank you thank you thank you!” I cheered as I flew up to her. “Don’t worry, I promise it’ll be the best massage you ever had!”

Sigh…I always have to shoot my mouth off, don’t I?

----------

Here it was. The moment of truth. The do-or-die moment. I was sitting on a cloud high in the sky with Gilda’s hind feet in front of me. Wow, they’re even more amazing up close! The lovely griffon herself was reclining against a tall cloud she had set up as a backrest with her claws behind her head. Okay, you can do this, you can do this…you can’t do this. But you have to! Everything depends on it! But you know you’ll just mess everything up…and why am I arguing with myself? Am I losing my mind?

“Well? You gonna massage me or not?” Gilda demanded, her eyes boring into me. Judging me.

“Yes, yes, I’m getting prepped, don’t worry!” I said quickly. I took a deep breath and wiped my brow. Alright, no more horsing around! Time to be a stallion and win over my love! ...Or die trying! Gulp… Feeling as though everything was going in slow motion, I reached out my hooves and gingerly touched her feet. Wow, I can’t believe I’m actually touching Gilda’s feet! Ooh, they’re so soft! Why can’t I have feet like hers? …Focus, featherbrain, focus! I applied a little pressure to her feet and began rubbing, trying to feel for tense muscles, which was a little tricky due to the pads on her feet. Her feet were certainly a lot different from the hooves I was used to. They even had toes! What exactly was the point of toes, again?

Gilda’s voice broke my thoughts. “Mmm, not bad for a creature with hooves,” she said coolly.

I released the breath I didn’t know I was holding. “Thanks!” I replied with a beam. “If you don’t mind me asking, why do you have toes?”

Gilda raised an eyebrow at that. “Because we were born with them?” she answered in an annoyed tone. “I dunno, I’m no animal expert.”

“Eh, me neither,” I said with a shrug. “Nature’s weird.”

“You got that right,” Gilda chimed in. “Now get back to work; my dogs are barking.”

“What dogs?” I asked. “I don’t hear anything.”

“It’s an expression, lamebrain,” Gilda groaned. “It means my feet are aching for more massaging.”

“Oops! Sorry,” I replied with an awkward grin. Geez, why do I have to be such a dork?

I continued massaging Gilda’s feet for a good minute or so. As I rubbed the bottom area just below her toes, I could hear Gilda sigh in contentment and see a smile start to appear on the edges of her…beak lips or whatever. Yes! I knew massaging was the way to a woman’s heart!

Gilda eventually broke the silence with, “Alright, I think my feet are good now. How about you get started on my back?”

My smile fell and I started breaking into a sweat (well, more of a sweat than usual, considering how hot it still was outside). “Uh, you sure you want that? Back massages are kinda overrated anyway. Foot massages for the win!”

Gilda responded by shoving me back with her foot, leaning forward and lying on her stomach, glaring up at me. “Back. Now,” she growled.

Back. Broken. Earlier. I gulped and stammered, “A-as you wish, Your Awesomeness!”

I walked around and positioned myself over Gilda’s back. Hmm, I can’t help but notice I’m in the perfect position to…No! Bad Kyo! Now’s not the time for dirty thoughts! Well…here goes everything. I carefully placed my front hooves on her back next to her wings, quickly stroked one of her wings (I couldn’t resist), and firmly but gently (somehow) rubbed in search of tense muscles. Fortunately, it was a lot easier with Gilda, as I could definitely feel the tightness in some areas. Clearly it’s been a while since this fine lady was pampered. I decided to first focus on the taut muscles between her wings. As I massaged there, I heard Gilda give an even greater sigh than before.

“Ooh, yeah, that’s the spot!” Gilda moaned dreamily. “Keep it coming!”

No dirty thoughts, damn it! “Yes ma’am!” I continued kneading the muscles between her wings, taking extra care not to fracture any of the bones that connected her wings. I felt like some kind of muscle surgeon or something, except I didn’t have to cut anyone open or anything, thankfully. When I felt satisfied that her muscles there were nice and loose, I started to go lower. I treated a couple of tense areas in the lower middle, then a particularly tense area on her left side. At that point, I heard some sort of rumbling coming from her. I was confused for a little while, even concerned that I’d broken her somehow, until it occurred to me:

Is…is she purring?! Huh. Looks like her technically part-cat side is showing.

As my massaging continued, I noticed something else about Gilda I had never seen before: she was…calm. I mean, don’t get me wrong, she’s beautiful when she’s angry and aloof, but it was a rare sight to see her so serene. I really wanted to cuddle her right then and there, and so I did, all the while under the cover of massaging both her sides at once. Thankfully, she didn’t seem to notice.

I then continued massaging even lower, around her waist. At that point, I was poised with a serious dilemma: to massage her butt, or not to massage her butt? The temptation was just too strong to resist, so I did it. I touched griffon booty. And it was awesome. Well, at least until I hear Gilda murmur, “Touch me there again and you’re dead meat.” Oh well.

I decided to end with a nice, simple neck massage (I wasn’t going to chance a four-hooved massage after what happened with Lotus). As I kneaded the knots there, I muttered in her, uh, earhole, “Sorry about my slip of the hooves earlier.”

“Mmm, whatever,” Gilda replied. “You’re certainly a lot better at this than I expected.”

“Heh, that probably wouldn’t have been too hard for me to accomplish,” I remarked, which got a nice soft giggle out of Gilda. After a few more seconds of massaging, I hesitantly asked, “So, uh, would you say this makes up for, uh, you know, what happened earlier?”

No response.

“Gilda?”

Still nothing. For a moment I was anxious that Gilda was giving me the silent treatment for bringing up the bad lunch mishap, until I heard her start to snore. Oh! I guess I should pat myself on the back for getting Gilda to sleep by massaging…assuming I can do that, at least. I suddenly felt a big yawn burst out of me. Come to think of it, it’s been a tiring day for me too. I might as well get some shut-eye while Gilda is getting some…

And so I lied down next to Gilda, snuggled up against her and the cloud beneath me, and felt my eyelids droop…

--------

“Hey!”

“Gah!” I awoke with a start to see Gilda leaning against the cloud wall again. “Oh, uh, hey Gilda! Thanks for waking me, I was having such a freaky dream–“

“Yeah, whatever,” Gilda interrupted. “I just wanted to tell you a few things before I go.”

“Wha–go?”

“Yeah, what’d you expect? That I’d hang out with you forever?” she retorted. “I’m a busy griffon, after all.”

“It’s cool, I understand,” I replied in as aloof a tone as I could muster. “So what’d you want to tell me?”

“Okay, first,” she said, holding up a claw, “never snuggle against me while I’m asleep again. Got it?”

“Got it,” I responded with a grimace. “Sorry.”

“Second,” she added, holding up another claw, “I ate all the vanilla lemon drops while you were asleep. Deal with it.”

“No worries,” I said with a casual wave of my hoof.

“And third…” She held up a third claw and said, with a sigh, “Even though your meat nearly killed me, I gotta admit…I had a good time.”

I felt a grin grow across my face at that comment. “R-really?”

“Yeah.” She stood up and walked up to me. “After all the crap I’ve gotten in recent years, finding somepony who actually appreciates how cool I am and is willing to do so much for me…it’s nice.” She gave me a smile that I would treasure forever. “Not to mention that awesome massage you gave me!”

“Heh, well, only the best for my awesome griffon!” I replied brightly. “So…would you ever want to hang out with me again sometime?”

“Sure, why not?” she answered with a nonchalant shrug. “It might be a while before we ever meet again, but if I’m ever in the neighborhood…” She paused to lick a claw with her tongue and affectionately touched my cheek with her claw. “…Give me a call.”

My face flushed as I put a hoof to my wet cheek. I am never washing this spot again. “Y-you got it, Gilda!”

“Alright, gotta fly.” She took to the air and headed back to the tent down below. “Catch ya later, Kyo!” she called back with a wave.

I was too stunned to do anything other than wave numbly back and admire Gilda’s diminishing form as much as I could, like a butterfly with claws and a beak flying off into the sunset. Or something. Either way, I could hardly believe how well my date with Gilda had gone. She likes me, she likes me, SHE LIKES ME!

“WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!” With a burst of manic energy, I leapt into the air and soared across the sky. I haven’t felt so much desire to just fly around whooping like a crazed fanboy since I completed my first bullet hell. Heck, that was a cakewalk compared to today, but I did it! I won over the griffon of my dreams! I didn’t care how ridiculous I came across as; I had to share my joy with the world! Not to mention the awesome best friend who made all this possible!

Speaking of which, I wonder what he’s been up to all this time. Probably nothing too exciting. I mean, there’s only so much excitement you can get in a desert town anyway, right?

End of Part 14

Comments

[spetsnaz pinkie pie]

YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Also he got to touch some griffon booty :)

[AbstractThought]

3275479

Heh, he sure did.
It's nice to know Kyo has such a devoted shipper on his side. Glad I can continue to please you!