Mystery of the Forest: Daughter of Gaia

by Vinetion

CH.7: The festival part 2: Drunk adventures

(I'll apologize now, Stuff stops making any sense in the second half of this chapter. I've been feeling really down lately and needed to do something random and somewhat idiotic. At least i'm not alone in this endeavor, I do not own any copyrights being referenced here whatsoever. All content goes to there original owners, not me)

~5,000 B.D. Trotters' festival 6 pm~

After my competition with The deity twins we struck up a conversation as the next couple of performances commenced. There were alchemists using various powders and explosives to show off new creations from things like fireworks and something called a 'cannon'. I found the cannon to be most useful as they launched baked goods at the crowd. As an intermission was called I made my way to the various stalls to see what some of the foreigners were selling. I was especially interested in that 'Liquid Magyks' the draco-dwarf was selling so I made my way there first.

"Hello fair maiden, how may Slyfeir (sly-fair) please you today? Slyfeir has various powders and tonics to suit any creatures need." Slyfeir offered.

"I am just taking a look at what you may be selling as I have not heard of what these 'liquid magyks' are before." I said.

"Ah yes, that has been one of Slyfeir's best items of interest lately. The liquid magyks are special tonics made from ingredients far and wide and some even rarely ever come upon in this day and age. Slyfeir has gone to extreme ends to acquire them for his customers." Slyfeir said proudly.

"To go to such lengths these potions must be very useful." I said amazed

"Oh yes. That they are. Each and everyone of Slyfeir's potions has unique effects. Ranging from creating a fire that shall never go out even in windiest tunnel or the heaviest downpour to creating a ball in your hand that absorbs the light around you. Slyfeir has tonics that can heal even the fatalist of wounds or a tonic that when shattered burn brighter than the sun and destroy anything in mere seconds." Slyfeir said.

"I'm interested in those healing tonics. But more than that how much might it cost to learn the secrets of your tonics?" I ask sweetly.

"These are Slyfeir's personal trade secrets. Unless you are willing to pay a steep price not a sound passes the teeth." he snarls showing some very dangerous looking fangs.

"How about this, you give me a price and I'll try and match it? Does that sound fair?" I said to him sincerely.

Slyfeir looked at me with a glint in his eyes. "Well do you want all of my secrets? Or just the heeling tonics?"

I look him down with the same look of greed. "Give me the price of all your secrets."

"All of them? Fine for all of my secrets that will cost you a total of 1.9 mil. bits, or 2 tonnes of gold." Slyfeir said challenging me.

"That all? I thought you were going give me a high price. Here you go." I said to him as i place a bag filled with 20 diamond bits on his counter as his eye grow wide. "Now may we get down to those recipes of yours?"

Slyfeir's right eye begins twitching "I...I...Where....how....uhhhh....."he quickly shakes himself out of his confused stupor. "Ummm yes yes, come back here and Slyfeir shall transfer the recipes to you." We walk into the back as he writes down the recipes on fresh scrolls. Once my business was down I left Slyfeir as began rubbing the sack of cash over himself as though the god's gave him a blessing. I chuckled at the thought as i went to a close restaurant to get some food before going against the rest of the night.

As I entered I was hit with an unfamiliar scent of what I could only describe as old soggy grains. I went up to the counter to ask for some food the smell got stronger.

When the waiter came around I asked him "Excuse me sir, but can you tell me what this odd smell is I'm encountering?"

"That would be alcohol miss." The waiter answered confused.

"Alcohol? I'm sorry but I don't believe I have heard of this substance." I say somewhat quietly.

"Really?" The waiter responds curiously. "Well alcohol in of itself is just an ingredient. Various drinks contain alcohol however."

"Hmmm... tell me do you know a good drink that I may try so I can try this 'alcohol'?" I ask kindly.

"Sure." The waiter responds. He heads behind the counter and pulls out a bottle filled with a clear liquid. "This here is our lightest stuff when it comes to alcohol content. Now before you ask, alcohol is okay in small amounts but drinking more than your body can handle miss may have some very unhealthy consequences. So we'll start with this and move on down the line."

"okay..." I responded wondering what meant by 'unhealthy consequences'.

He gave me the drink in these small 'shot glasses' as he called them no more than a quick sip could be put in them. The clear liquid he gave me certainly tasted odd but I couldn't detect any foreign substances in it so I asked for something stronger. He pulled out a darker looking drink a light brown. This one he called a regular beer. When I tasted it I thought i could taste the alcohol but if it was there it was still a very little amount.

I told him I couldn't taste or find anything that would be the alcohol and he looked at me curiously and somewhat like he had a challenge in front of him. He went into the back and pulled out another bottle this one was pitch black and three x's on the tag. When I tasted this a strong flavor of barley and mint I think flooded my taste buds. The taste of alcohol was much more apparent but still not that strong. I wasn't sure what made me say it but I asked him for his strongest drink next. I felt a little funny as thought my head was filled with bubbles.

As the waiter went into the back a strange looking pony sat next to me. He wore what looked to be a jester's cape only it was purple, instead of the normal red and green, and a pair of seeing lenses. To add on to the already silly attire he had a small goat's beard on his chin. I couldn't help but chuckle at the sight as he turned my way.

"Yea I know, my attire really is something to laugh about where ever I go is isn't it." The mysterious pony stated.

"I'm just wondering why you have a little goat's diddy on your chinny there." I say to him bubbly.

"Is that all? And it's called a goatee ma'm. Now what is a fine lass such as you doing here in a bar?"

"Is that what this place is called? huh. Well I came in here for a bit of food and drink before my celebration." I continue.

"Your celebration? I thought this was for the cleansing of the forest?"

"Woops! I shouldn't have said that. You didn't hear anything." I wave my hooves in front of him. The waiter came back from the cellar carrying a bottle that had swirling rainbows flowing inside of it. On the tag showed five pony skulls and crossbones.

"Here is our strongest brew ma'am it is also our most expensive it'll be 100 bits per shot." He offers me.

"You know what! Since you've been such a good talk to me goat-pony a round of shot for both of us." I hand him a titanium bit. "Here you go. Ten rounds, five for each of us." He looks at me like I'm insane but takes the money with a smile and pours all ten shots. The smell that came off the drinks could only be describe as burning magic energy. Sorta like the smell of ozone before lightning strikes.

"You must be pretty rich to be carrying around that kind of money miss." Goat-pony said

"You could say that. Why looking for some easy cash." I said knowing where he was going.

"Maybe, maybe not, how much you got?" goat-pony's eyes were glinting for money

"I'd be willing to bet one diamond bit." I offered.

"And i'll be willing to match you on that. First one to down all five shots wins the others diamond bit. Deal?" goat-pony says putting his bit on the counter.

"Deal!" I said putting a bit on the counter also.

We stared at each other hard we tapped our hooves three times in unison before starting. The first drink hit me as hard as the Lupus did in the forest, but the taste! My mother the taste. The term liquid gold comes nowhere near this. The goat-pony looked to have taken an even harder hit than me. I continued on but it was at the third shot the alcohol effects started to hit me. I felt odd to say the least everything became somewhat lucid and blurry unless I concentrated. The goat-pony looked to be swaying in his seat but was on his fourth shot. I felt the need to beat him so I rushed both of my last shots at the same time. Everything became a blur afterwards and I passed out. Before everything went black I remembered hearing something about a drill arm, a perseus, and a knifewrench?

~Trotters' festival 9 pm~

Explosions were heard all around the festival as a screaming pony ran through carrying a metal object in her mouth. Behind her ran a furious looking goat-pony screaming various obscenities that made mothers cover their foals ears. If that wasn't bad enough it was if the universe decided to simply stop making sense as the two screaming drunk ponies began to do impossible things.

The green mare while holding the object was throwing various objects at the brown one. Things from banana peels to barrels. She threw these blue turtle shell things that where ever they hit caused a blue explosions. At one point she pulled out this massive black tube on a stand that resembles the cannon from the earlier display. she grabbed a pineapple and threw it in where a split second it shot out with extreme force. The goat-pony saw this and constructed a huge tower looking castle in the middle of town in the matter of a few seconds,

When the pineapple smashed uselessly the green mare began kicking and throwing everything she had into the cannon trying to blow up the tower. Things that could be seen flying past: Turtle shells, bombs, bricks, bananas, golden rings (a blue hedgehog ran up and took them back), a box that had P.O.W. written on it that made everyone jump when it hit, a bowl of oatmeal, various explosives, and everything else she could find. Eventually a giant metal pony came out and revealed an entire armada of weapon and began blasting at the castle. When all of the weapons ran out it self destructed leaving a huge scorch mark on it be still didn't destroy it. In her anger the mare ran up and hit it with the object in her mouth to have the castle explode into dust and revealed an angry goat-pony.

The mare ran off again with the goat-pony yelling "FOR THE WRENCH!" like some battle cry. He pulled out this odd looking board and jumped on it to which he rocketed forward faster than the mare could run. When she saw this she jumped up and started to fly away. She flipped over and pointed her hooves at the goat-pony and yelled "RUINGA" as hundreds of white orbs flew at the target making concussive blasts nearly knocking him off the board. The goat-pony retaliated by having a dark aura surrounding him and shouting "MEGAFLARE" as a laze shot out and exploded in dark light and smoke. As the green mare hit the ground she rolled onto her feet and pulled out a crystal that she smashed into the ground. The goat-pony landed on the ground to face a giant blob with a huge gaping hole for a mouth. "EAT HIM! EAT HIM NOW ATOMOS!"

The giant blob began to lean down to suck in the goat-pony. When 'atomos' had fully leaned down the goat-pony pulled out what looked to be a golden embossed chicken egg "O Gods and goddesses of goodness, bless this thy Hand Grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." The goat-pony said before throwing it into the monsters mouth where it disintegrated it leaving a dumb-founded looking mare.

The two ponies stared at each other knowing this would be the final stand. The goat-pony pulled out six red and white spheres and threw them to the ground where six odd creatures appeared. There was two snake like creature, one was green with leaf-like patterns, while the other one was black with a red blade tail. Behind him stood an an orange dragon with a flaming tail while to his left and right stood a pair of blobs, one pink the other blue.

The mare looked on as a golden glow enveloped her and turned into a shining silver armor. Her wings had turned into metal and there were even an extra pair of them. As she took to the skies thousands of upon thousands of weapons began appearing. The moon was blotted out from the mass amount of weapons. From swords to spears to maces and axes. Every weapon you could think of was pointing down on the goat-pony who began backing up a little in fear.

With a simple command the goat-pony's creature began attacking. The dragon flew up spewing flames at each weapon it could melting them down to slag. The mare launched her weapon armada down at the creatures slashing, smacking, and smashing them into the ground. The two blob creatures transformed into copies of the dragon and went on the assault and the two snakes defended the goat-pony from harm.

With each weapon that went down the mare summoned another one but was on a losing battle. At one point in the battle the three dragons launched out a powerful laser attack that destroyed nearly all of her weapons. As a last resort she flew down and began attack with a circle of blades. She knocked out the two snakes but was pushed back by the dragons. As a last ditch the mare's armor turned black and she became wingless. She pulled out a massive mace and began swinging trying to knock the dragons out. They put up a good fight but with one final swing the mare knocked out all three. She walked up to the goat-pony her armor now shattered and gone. She said one thing before the two of them passed out.

"I won so I get your knife-wrench."

A/N the bit system im going off of is this (bronze=1, silver=10, gold=100, titanium=1,000. platinum=10,000, diamond=100,000) Now aside from the obvious pokemon reference point out all of the references again. Also to answer your questions from last time here are the current ancestors. 'The deity twins' are trixie's. Tick is the doctor's, Daze Cake is BOTH pinkie pie's and greg (check ka2um's story) Blade rays' is vl4d4r's. one last thing internet muffin to the first person to tell me goat-pony's name.

Comments

[Scully]

oooo i love random idiotic stuff.

ok now i just need to read what you did.

[ulvahkiin]

Mario Kart!

And I'm saddened that there wasn't an almost Heroes reference.

[Vinetion]

323013 almost heroes? i dont think i know of that

[Blue Streak]

That was interesting...it was funny.
Go knifewrench

[KillJoy]

Omnius lol

[KillJoy]

I somehow understood everything.....

[ulvahkiin]

323018
One of Chris Farley's funniest movies ever.

Skip to about 4:07 for the scene that should've been used.

[Vinetion]

323433 if i get drunk again i'll see if i can remember to do that

[EvilEnchantress]

oh omninous y you hear I realized knife wrench oh hello omninous also where did you get the pictures it looks like a manga or anime if so what is it

[derpityderp]

dafuq just happened is that really what happens when you geet drunk you start pulling random shit out of no where spawn pokemon and armor and thousands of wepons and build towers in matters of seconds(ifeel that i shouldve expceted more from you)

[Vinetion]

323928 this was a drunk god who helped create the planet and everything on it and a drunk traveller who can (and this is proven in his own story) who has been to, collected from, and can pull anything and i literally mean any bit of hit he has out of nowhere

[Rainbow Dash]

323943 this is what i think of your story ( P.S. you'r story is the sandwich.) t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTdrA6Ti2H5TGVk9QBBlXd_2hDEugvnYvaKz8LDGDrh9kLVm0uO

[little dashie]

Okay challage accepted Vine...

Sonic, Mario Kart, Crash Bandicoot, Omnius, WoW?, Not sure if there any more but knowing you there was probably four more...

[CJoy]

323641 The pictures of the armor are from an anime called 'Fairy Tail', they are used by Erza Scarlet.

References:
Mario Kart, Sonic, Crash Bandicoot, Omnius (+ Scrubs), Pokémon, Fairy Tail, Worms (Holy Hand Grenade), Worms 3D (Forts), Bioshock, Final Fantasy

323943 Did I get them all?