Equestrian Joe

by HellRyden

... The Farm Life Chose Me

Chapter 7: … The Farm Life Chose Me

"And you're absolutely sure that's what you saw?"

Rainbow Dash gave Twilight a look that seemed to suggest that the unicorn had gone daft, and she nodded her head dourly. “Look Twilight, I might have been covered in rust beetle guts, but that didn’t mean I went blind! I saw him wielding it clear as day - that thing he called a shotgun, he just grabbed it and used to kill those beetles like… like it was nothing!"

"RD... RD's right, Twi'." Applejack's voice came shakily from the side, and the unicorn looked over to the orange mare, who was sitting on her farmhouse's living room sofa, wrapped in a towel and her mane still damp from the hosing off she'd put herself through to wash the stains of rust beetle ichor off from her coat. Applejack looked strangely subdued, her gaze vacant and staring, and her expression was unnervingly hollow. “Ah’ve never seen such eyes like that - not in a normal pony. They were so… so cold. The last time ah saw eyes like that…”

The earth pony swallowed, giving Twilight a meaningful look, and Twilight knew exactly what Applejack meant.

She hadn’t been there to see the event for herself - by the time she had gotten word about it from a frantic Applebloom who had galloped over to the library to pass her the news, most of the dust had already settled. The rust beetle carcasses had been disposed of before they'd begun to smell, and both her friends had gone through a thorough hosing off to wash off the worst of the blood, seating themselves in the living room wrapped in towels while Granny Smith set out some hot chocolate for them to calm their frayed nerves.

But when she had arrived, she didn’t need to be Celestia’s prized student to figure out what had happened. The sight of Joseph stalking off silently to the guest room while her two friends sat, silent and subdued, in the living room, was more than enough to set off the alarm bells ringing in her head. And when Rainbow Dash and Applejack had told her what he did, her breath nearly froze in her lungs as she connected the dots.

The last time they had seen such coldness in someone’s eyes, the readiness to kill, the nonchalance of taking life without even a second thought… had been in Nightmare Moon.

“Ah don’t know what he’s gone through to have eyes like that, but…” Applejack started uncertainly, shaking her head. “Ah just… Ah just don’t know. He seemed nice enough, and Applebloom loved those funny stories he kept telling us. Ah thought he was harmless, but…”

“I told you, AJ,” Rainbow Dash muttered sourly from the couch opposite her. “I told you he was dangerous. I told you that he couldn’t be trusted!”

Applejack’s gaze abruptly snapped over to the cyan pegasus, her eyes narrowing and mouth opening to deliver an undoubtedly acidic reply, and Twilight found herself frantically stepping in between the two of them before things could come to a head.

“Rainbow, stop. Please.” Twilight pleaded softly but firmly, fixing her friend with a stern gaze. “I understand that the both of you are shaken by the fact that he just killed the rust beetles instead of chasing them off. But you are also forgetting the fact that he saved your lives. Applejack, you and Big Macintosh were having trouble chasing the beetles off, and Rainbow had been pinned by one of them before Joseph returned to intervene, right?”

Applejack nodded, but not before Rainbow Dash shot to her hooves, protesting vehemently. “Hey, I had things under control! I could’ve busted out of there no problem - I didn’t need that creep’s help!”

“Rainbow Dash, you were seconds away from getting gutted and mah brother was about to throw himself into its path just to make sure ya didn’t get hurt.” Applejack said such sudden force that Rainbow abruptly stopped in mid-tirade, and the pegasus turned to stare at her in shock. "You did not just try to make light of the mess that we were darned lucky Joe was there to pull you out of. You, and probably mah brother as well, could be dead right now if not for him."

Rainbow Dash blinked, stunned into silence. She had never heard Applejack speak with such repressed fury in her voice before, but right now, the apple farmer was giving her a stare that would have burned right through a dragon's scales, and she looked downright livid.

Faced with the stark reality of the situation, whatever hotheaded reply she would have normally given died before it had even reached her lips, and the pegasus sank back into the couch staring sullenly into her mug of hot chocolate. The room was very quiet after that as Applejack calmed down, and Twilight slowly walked over to the couch where she sat, exhaling audibly as she sat down and sought to come to grips with the situation. "Well, everypony's okay now, and that's what really counts here, right?"

Rainbow Dash let out a half-hearted grunt of assent, but when Applejack didn't respond, Twilight's worry only grew. “Applejack? Where’s Joseph now? What did he do after everypony had calmed down?”

“He… He just stood there. Staring at their carcasses.” Applejack mumbled insensately after a few moments. “Ah didn’t wanna look into his eyes, but his expression…"

The farmer swallowed, obviously reluctant to continue, but she pushed on ahead regardless. "Ah think he regretted it. When Mac started pullin’ the carcasses away fer disposal, he just stalked off to his room. None of us have seen him since.”

The farmer fell silent after that, staring into her mug as intently as Rainbow Dash, and Twilight realized she wasn’t going to get any more of a clearer picture of what had happened from either of the two of them. The unicorn let out a quiet sigh, and got off the couch, walking towards the guest room where she knew Joseph resided.

When she reached the door, she raised a hoof to hesitantly knock, but even after a few taps, there was no response from within.

“Joseph?” Twilight called out, hoping to hear a reply. “Are you in there?

When there wasn’t one even after several seconds, she tried the doorknob, and found to her surprise that it was unlocked. “I’m coming in, okay? Don’t… freak out or anything, all right?”

The unicorn pushed the door open, stepping inside the guest bedroom, and the first thing she noticed was how dark it was inside. The curtains had been drawn, allowing the shadows to begin creeping in as the noon’s daylight was denied from entering the room. She had to look around for a couple of seconds before she noticed Joseph seated on the bed in the corner, his legs drawn in and crossed in front of him.

The young human's bangs fell over his eyes like a dark curtain, rendering his eyes unreadable, and what little she could see of his expression was worryingly grim. On the dressing table next to the bed lay his shotgun, broken open in half through the middle, and a few stray cylinders, small and red, lay scattered next to it. Twilight noticed that two of the shells looked as though they had been blown open from one end, and judging from the two open holes running through the front end of the shotgun, she had a rather sinking suspicion of exactly what they had been used for.

"Joseph?" The unicorn tried again hesitantly, taking a cautious step towards him. "Are you all right? What happened out there?"

The young man remained silent for a worrying number of moments, and Twilight was on the verge of giving up on investigating as a lost cause when he suddenly spoke.

"I did what I had to." He said in a voice so low Twilight almost failed to catch it altogether, and when she looked at him, she realized his fists were tightly clenched, trembling with tension. "Rainbow Dash might be dead right now if I hadn't taken action."

"I don't doubt that for a moment, Joseph." Twilight said soothingly as she took a seat on the dressing table's chair next to the bed. "Rainbow Dash and Applejack are just rather shaken right now, that's all. Even Applejack acknowledges the necessity of your actions, we're just-"

“So why is Rainbow Dash still acting like I’m the bad guy here?” Joseph spoke with sudden vehemence, and Twilight found herself being taken aback at the frustration she heard in his voice. “Tell me something, Twilight - did I do something wrong? Is it wrong to save someone’s life, even if you had to kill to do it?”

“Killing is never justified.” Twilight found herself saying by reflex before she had even considered her words, and she winced internally at the sudden flinch that Joseph made. Great, real smooth, Twilight. He’s obviously stressed out about how this might affect his standing with us - he’s afraid that we might cast him out because we think he’s a killer. Rainbow Dash certainly isn’t helping with her attitude, but if he’s considering the ramifications of his actions like this, he obviously can’t be as bad as she thinks he is!

“However,” The unicorn continued, trying to salvage the situation. “Sometimes, it might be necessary. I can’t claim to be familiar with this sort of situation, but my brother’s Captain of the Royal Guard, and I hear plenty of second-hoof war stories that he heard from his predecessors regarding this sort of thing from him.”

The young man before her didn’t respond, but he was evidently listening, and Twilight took it as an encouraging sign as she went onward. “The way I see it, you did what you had to do to protect my friends. Whether you had to kill in order to do it is just a matter of detail - while I’m sure that there might have been a less violent solution, all I’m grateful for is the fact that Rainbow Dash is still alive and well, thanks to you.”

A moment passed before the corner of his mouth quirked upwards in a sardonic grin, and he turned slightly towards her. “You really have a way of surprising me with what goes on in that head of yours, don’t you?”

“Heh, I guess I do.” Twilight chuckled, letting out a tiny sigh of relief as she felt the unspoken tension in the room finally defuse. “Are you sure you’re going to be all right?"

“As all right as I can be, given what just happened.” Joseph shrugged, sighing. “I guess I’m just… worried, that’s all. I figured that you Equestrians had some kind of ‘all life is sacred and killing is forbidden' thing going on - just the impression that I got while I was here.”

Twilight chuckled, and gave him a reassuring smile. “We actually do believe that, but sometimes we also have to acknowledge the necessity of having to take a life when the circumstances call for it. Our Guardsponies are more aware of that than anypony else. You don't have to worry, Joseph; what’s done is done. Applejack knows you did what you thought you had to, and Rainbow Dash will come around eventually.”

“I can only hope she does…” Joseph muttered pensively, letting his head fall back to rest against the bedpost. “She’s stubborn as a mule, that one, isn’t she?”

“Careful, don’t let her hear you say that!” Twilight giggled. “Well, she’s not any more stubborn than Applejack usually is. But she usually comes around on her own - just give her some time.”

The young man before her merely grunted, but his expression was no longer so grim, and after a moment she figured that her job was done here.

Twilight got up from her seat, turning towards the door, striding out of the room, and after she shut the door behind her, the young mare leaned against it and let out a tired sigh, closing her eyes and racking her brains on what to do next.

There was only the aftermath to deal with now - so how was she going to break the news of this little event to Princess Celestia?

---

Dinner that night was a highly subdued affair. The table was abnormally quiet - even Applebloom, who had been positively clamoring to hear more stories from me last night, was staring quietly at her food as she ate with a distinct lack of energy. The young filly hadn’t been told exactly what had happened, and while she had to be positively bursting with questions on the inside, she knew better than to break the sombre mood at the table with inappropriately-timed queries.

Applejack, though, looked downright haggard, and her gaze was unnervingly vacant. Mac, as usual, looked as phlegmatic as ever, but I noticed that he seemed to be picking at his food a smidgen more slowly than he usually did. Only Granny Smith seemed to be acting as though nothing had happened at all, handing out the portions with a carefree smile, but if you looked closely enough, you could see the worry lines that creased her already wrinkled brow. She was feeling just as strained as the others.

And there was hardly any wonder as to why the atmosphere was like that, wasn’t there?

What Twilight had said to me earlier in the room was starting to ring more hollowly in my ears the longer it went on. Applejack might have accepted the necessity of what I’d done, sure, but it sure as hell didn’t look like she’d come to terms with it yet either.

After several long, tense moments of silence, I couldn’t take the tension at the table any longer. I shovelled the rest of the meal into my mouth, practically inhaling my food, downed the rest of my glass of apple juice, and excused myself from the table. Applejack and Granny Smith’s looks of surprise followed me out the door, even though Mac barely even reacted, and Applebloom’s gaze just grew even more curious. Once I was outside, I let out a sigh and sat down on the porch, running a hand through my hair.

Geez - how had it all gone so wrong so fast?

I simply just sat there for several seconds, staring up at the moonlit sky and trying to distance myself and my emotions from everything that was happening in the house behind me. Guilt and frustration danced about in my head, trying their damndest to rile up a storm, but I refused to let them gain the upper hand.

Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I willed my thoughts to a halt and began concentrating on my breathing, bringing with it silence and nothingness - a little meditation technique a friend of mine had once taught me. I rarely had cause to use it in its entirety, given the fact that I was almost constantly using an incomplete version of it to keep myself under control if I ever got a little too hot-headed, but right now, I could definitely use all the inner peace I could get.

Several moments passed in silence, and I was almost feeling ready to head back inside when I heard the sound of hoofsteps behind me. I stiffened without even realizing I was doing it, trying not to give a sign that I’d heard anyone coming, and the hooffalls eventually stopped some distance behind me.

“Joe?” I heard Applejack’s voice call out hesitantly. “Are… Are ya all right?”

For just a second I entertained the notion of not even answering her - I didn’t even want to, see - but my common decency immediately slapped the notion down. Now wasn’t the time to be an impolite ass, you dick! I took in a deep breath, and exhaled, bracing myself for the conversation that I was completely not ready to have right now.

“I’m fine, Applejack,” I said, probably a little more flatly than I’d intended. I didn’t need to see Applejack to visualize the wince she probably just made, but she continued speaking.

“I, uh…” The farmpony cleared her throat awkwardly, obviously uncomfortable. “D’ya mind if ah talked to you for a bit?”

I pondered on it for a moment, and sighed. Might as well address the elephant in the room while we’re at it. I patted the spot on the porch next to me, and Applejack stepped forward, taking a seat by my side. I didn’t say anything, didn’t turn to face her - I merely stared straight ahead, waiting for her to speak.

The farmpony began hesitantly. “Joe, ah understand that ya think ya did what ya had ta do - really, ah do. And ah’m grateful that Rainbow Dash and mah brother are still alive thanks to ya.”

“Mhmm.” I grunted, still looking straight ahead, but I gestured for her to go on.

“It’s just that… Rainbow Dash’ll never admit it, but she feels the same way we do - what ya did back there scared us, Joe.” Applejack swallowed, evidently still distressed. “How… How did you do it? You just killed those rust beetles like it was so… so easy. Us Equestrians have always valued life, no matter what kind it might be. The fact that ya could just kill them just like that, without a second thought…”

I said nothing, but the unspoken implications still hung in the air, clear as day.

“Where did you come from, Joe?” The young mare asked softly, her gaze set upon me intently. “What did you go through that left you like this? Yer nice enough, ah know that - Applebloom loved the stories that ya told us last night, and ah think yer a nice, upstandin’ guy from what ah’ve seen the past couple days. So why did ah see that kinda coldness in yer eyes when ya killed those beetles?”

I kept silent for several moments, debating with myself on what to tell her. Applejack was obviously still unnerved by the afternoon’s events, and she was looking for some sort of justification - any justification, really - that would explain to her what she had just seen. She wanted that justification because it would explain just why the amiable guest she had taken in under her roof for the past several days had turned out to have a hidden, homicidal side - something that would convince her that not everything was all bad, and that she wasn’t sheltering a violent psychopath.

Honestly speaking, I couldn’t blame her for it. Were I in her position, I would have felt the exact same way and have demanded the exact same thing she was asking me politely for now.

But I didn’t want to traumatize Applejack with recounts of the darker aspects of human nature, especially since most of the Equestrians I’d seen so far seemed rather innocent of the cruelties the real, natural world was capable of - not the little controlled sphere of environmentalism they had carved out for themselves in Equestria. And if she wanted to know exactly why I felt the need to act with extreme prejudice when a friend was about to die right in front of my eyes-

The moment the thought even crossed my mind, I abruptly slammed my mental walls right back up, and forcibly blanked my mind out as I clenched my eyes shut before the memories could come back.

No. I was not going to let this get to me. Not. Again.

“Sorry, Applejack.” I muttered, deflecting aside the question. “Just a… just a bad memory. Seeing Rainbow Dash getting pinned underneath that rust beetle reminded me of something I saw back home and I… I just lost it.”

“Do ya… wanna talk about it?” The farmfilly asked uncertainly, but I shook my head.

“No,” I said flatly, refusing to say any more on the subject lest it invite more unwelcome thoughts. “I don’t like bringing it up. Just leave it, Applejack. Please.”

A heavy silence hung between us for several seconds, and Applejack sighed after a while. “All right then. There’s obviously somethin’ botherin’ ya, but ah won’t pry. Just… promise me ya won’t do somethin’ like this again, okay? Yer a real nice, upstandin’ guy, and ah like havin’ ya around with us - but ah just can’t keep ya on the farm in good conscience if ya might be a danger to my friends and family...”

“I can’t make promises I can’t keep, AJ,” My voice grew tight. “But I can tell you that if I wanted to hurt any of you, I could have done it at any time within the past several days. Don’t go pulling a Rainbow Dash on me now.”’

I kept my gaze averted from her, but I could see her biting her lip out of the corner of my vision, obviously chagrined. After a moment, she swallowed before muttering a mollified, “Sorry.”

“S’all right.” I waved it off with a grunt. “All I want is to get myself home, AJ. Nothing else. You have my word that I have no intention whatsoever of hurting any of your friends, or your family.”

The farmfilly looked at me for a moment, giving me that strange look that she always did when she seemed to be looking for a lie, and after a while she sighed again. “Well… ah guess that’ll have ta do.” After several moments, it was obvious that the conversation had reached its end, and the farmfilly wordlessly got up to her hooves, walking slowly back into the farmhouse where the rest of her family waited for her.

I stayed where I was, on the porch, alone with my thoughts, as the moon gazed serenely down upon the farm.

---

“Awww, really? C’mon, Joe, pretty pleeeease?”

“I said no, Applebloom, and no means no.” I looked down sternly at the filly standing at my feet, doing my damndest to resist the effect of the pleading puppy dog stare she was giving me. And let me tell you, when an adorable kid decides to turn those ray guns up to eleven, you better start praying for God to have mercy on your soul, because they won’t.

Despite the tension at the dinner table the previous night, Applebloom’s burning curiosity had not abated at all. The moment she had managed to find me alone and separate from Applejack and Big Mac after lunch, she had descended upon me with a virtual tornado of questions, asking and pleading and pestering me to show her the shotgun I had used to dispatch the rust beetles, and believe me, I was trying my best not to try to give her too many ideas on where her next cutie mark might be coming from.

Applebloom pouted so hard it looked like as though her mouth was about to fall off, but I stood firm, and shook my head again. “Applebloom, those guns of mine are not toys, and you could seriously hurt yourself if you try to use them without being properly trained! They’re for grown-ups only.”

“But ah’m a big pony…” Applebloom muttered sourly as she looked away to the side, finally admitting defeat. “They’ve gotta be somethin’ really powerful if they could chase those rust beetles away fer good! Ah just wanna know how they work, seein’ how Granny Smith’s sayin’ those beetles won’t be comin’ ta bother us again after ya used ‘em. And maybe ah could earn mah cutie mark while ah was at it...”

“And I think that it would be a really bad idea,” I emphasized again, turning back to the pile of tools in the shed that I was currently digging through, accounting for all the farming implements that the Apple family owned and making sure that they were all completely rust-free. “Come on, Applebloom, just drop it, please. I’m not letting you anywhere near those things, even with supervision. You notice that I don’t let Applejack or Big Macintosh touch them either, right?”

“Ah… guess so…” Applebloom sulked. “But if yer not gonna let me take a look at 'em, could you at least please tell me how they work? Pleeeeeease?”

I let out a long suffering sigh, and set aside the pitchfork that I had been inspecting. God, I’m so going to regret this…

I got up to my feet and turned to face her, taking a seat atop a nearby barrel. “Okay, fine, if only to get you to stop bugging me.” Applebloom’s resulting cheer was so damned loud it nearly drowned out the rest of my sentence, and I blinked and waited a moment for the ringing in my ears to subside. "Okay, but I wanna lay down some ground rules first. I don't want you to use this knowledge to attempt to create anything on your own, and I want you to keep this to yourself, all right? Tell nopony else.”

“Ah promise!” Applebloom looked like the cat that ate the canary right at that moment, and she sat down at my feet, staring at me attentively.

I blinked - well that was unexpected. I had expected a whole torrent of questions regarding the completely irrelevant expectations that she’d come up with regarding guns, but she actually seemed genuinely eager to learn.

I mentally shrugged - well, this would just make this all the easier for me.

I spent the next hour or so covering every single aspect I could remember on the spot about how guns worked, from the very beginning of the gunpowder being stored in the casing to the bullet projectiles to the actual mechanics of the guns themselves and their various actions. Applebloom listened with rapt attention the entire time, raising a hoof only if she had a pertinent question to something I had overlooked or forgotten to cover, and hadn’t realized until she’d pointed it out. I swear, she was practically eating it up, and I was astonished that a kid her age had that kind of an attention span.

Then again, it could have been just because of the subject matter, but if this was just another cutie mark quest for her, she seemed to be doing extraordinarily well for a starter.

“So that’s pretty much how guns work,” I finished, clearing my throat and wishing I had a bottle of apple juice with me right then. “Got all that?”

“Mhmm!” Applebloom chirped enthusiastically. “Basically, ya've got that gunpowder stuff kept inside the bullet casing, and at the back ya got the primer which ignites the gunpowder, which explodes and uses th' gas from the explosion ta send that little bullet head thing at the front flyin' out the gun's barrel. The primer gets set off when ya pull the gun's trigger to let the hammer fall on th' firin' pin, which hits the primer and sets tha primer and the gunpowder off!"

I stared at her and blinked.

My God, I had no idea she had actually taken it all in.

"Uhh..." I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, that's actually pretty much the basics of how they work. I honestly didn't think you'd take in that much. Of course, if you wanted to actually make and use a functional gun that fired rounds with gunpowder, that's a whole different story altogether..."

“It’s easy!” Applebloom chirped. “We could easily find some of that gunpowder stuff in Pinkie Pie’s fireworks, and with a little woodwork and metalwork, ah could-”

“WHOA, whoa, Applebloom, slow down there,” I exclaimed as I held out a pair of startled hands to stop her mental train in its tracks. “Remember what I said? Don’t try making one on your own. I don’t want you trying to make your own firearms with what I told you, or try to examine one of mine up close either. Are we clear on this?”

“Awww, but can’t ah-” Applebloom whined, but I stood fast.

“Nuh uh,” I emphasized again, shaking my head. “I was already kind enough to explain it out to you - don’t take that for granted. Just be glad that you know how they work, and leave it at that.”

Of course, I knew that the odds of her leaving the subject alone for any period of time was about as likely as me growing a horn and opening a donut shop, but I had to at least do what I could to dissuade her - God help Ponyville if Applebloom actually managed to invent firearms, and God help Equestria too if she managed to rope in the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders to do it as well. Applebloom started giving me the puppy dog eyes again, but after it became obvious that I wasn’t going to budge, she finally gave up.

“Oh, all right then.” She pouted, kicking dejectedly at the ground with a foreleg. The little filly trudged away with her head hung in disappointment, and I had to literally stop myself from going to comfort her. Said comforting would probably give way to more puppy dog stares, one thing would lead to another, and soon enough I’d be handing her my .44 and the Remington while feeding her the secrets on how to build her own goddamned M60.

Nope, I decided as I turned back to the tools that I had been inspecting; this was one trade secret that was going to be staying with me.

---

Applebloom kicked again at the ground glumly as she trudged back inside the farmhouse, grumbling to herself the entire time. “But ah’m a big pony, ah don’t see why Joe won’t let me take a look at those guns! Ah understood how they worked just fine, ah can handle ‘em!”

The young filly passed by the corridor that led to the guest bedroom, still simmering with resentment, and when she glanced in the direction of where their guest resided, an idea struck her.

Well, if Joe won’t let me take a look at those guns. Applebloom glanced furtively around to make sure that nobody else was watching, and then she began cantering towards his room. I’ll just check ‘em out myself!

She made sure to keep her hoofsteps as quiet as possible, creeping towards the guest room door. When she was sure that the coast was clear, Applebloom stealthily slipped inside, slowly shutting the door behind her.

The door closed with a quiet click!, and Applebloom let out the breath she had been holding, turning to look around the room. Joe hadn’t been staying on their farm for that many days yet, but he had still managed to leave his mark on the room regardless. The standing dresser at the side still lay open, its doors ajar to display the strangely-shaped clothes that he always wore everywhere all the time. The odd shaping of the garments obviously meant that they wouldn’t have fit a pony if they had tried to fit themselves inside, but Applebloom wasn’t looking for those.

The little filly continued casting her eyes about the room, on the search for her prize. Next to the bed, which sheets lay haphazardly made, was his backpack, and its zip lay open, displaying its contents for all the world to see. Applebloom stuck her head inside to take a quick glance, and once determining that its contents had everything to do with camping equipment and nothing to do with either of his guns, she continued looking elsewhere.

The last place she saw objects she didn’t recognize being strewn about was the dressing table next to the bed, and when she hopped onto the chair in front of it to take a look, her eyes lit up with child-like glee.

“Found ya!” she snickered to herself as she finally caught sight of what she had been looking for - the heavy, steel frame of Joseph’s revolver, its cylinder open and hanging out, and the long, thin, wooden body of his double-barrelled shotgun, broken open in half through the middle. Applebloom’s heart nearly burst from the sheer excitement of what she was about to get her hooves on, what with the pounding it was doing, and her eyes were practically sparkling with anticipation by now.

Now, if only she knew where to start…

The filly’s mind raced over the details of what she had gone over with Joseph earlier regarding how guns worked. From what she remembered, the bullets were supposed to go inside some sort of ‘magazine’ before the gun could be considered loaded, and the examples he had given her had included where the bullets went in revolvers and ‘breech-loaded’ shotguns, whatever those were. Apparently his Remington belonged to the latter category, and she kept that information in mind as she began looking around the table for any loose bullets that may have been lying around.

The entirety of the table was practically covered in various odds and ends that were all dedicated to gun maintenance. Applebloom recognized the items from Joseph’s descriptions: a small bottle of the cleaning oil that Mac usually used for their farming tools, an oil-soaked rag, several small bristly brushes that were caked in soot, a long, thin metal rod, and lastly, what Applebloom was looking for - two half-filled small boxes, one containing several large, golden cylinders that were nearly as long as her hoof was wide, and the other carrying even larger, bright red canisters that were almost double the size of the golden cylinders - most probably the bullets that Joseph had been referring to.

Evidently, he had been in the midst of cleaning it, probably last night. Although, leaving them out in the open like this seemed awfully careless of him to Applebloom, but all the better for her if it would just make it easier for her to get her hooves on it.

The young filly took one look at the empty holes in the revolver’s cylinder and the shotgun’s open breech, and came to a swift conclusion - the smaller golden cylinders went inside the revolver, and the bright red canisters went into the shotgun, judging by their size. Feeling immensely pleased with herself at having deduced it on her own, Applebloom decided to move on to the next step - loading a gun and cocking it.

She reached forward to one of the bullets with a hoof, and then immediately realized one fatal flaw in her plan - she had absolutely no idea how she was going to get the bullet inside the revolver’s cylinder. She’d always seen Joe manipulate small little objects so dextrously with those little digits extending out of his hands that he called ‘fingers’ - truth be told, they reminded her more of Spike’s claws than anything else, but that was besides the point. Aside from using her mouth like most ponies did, how was she going to get the bullets into the chamber?

The young filly briefly considered using the crease of her wrist, but it didn’t look like she’d be nearly dextrous enough with that to load the bullet inside. A moment of wracking her brains later, an idea struck her, and she grabbed one of the bullets in between her teeth, letting the projectile end of it hang downwards as she took hold of the revolver in between both her forelegs, balancing it vertically on its barrel.

Holding the bullet between her teeth gingerly over the exposed cylinder, she slowly and gently lowered inside one of its six empty holes. The cartridge fit inside perfectly, sliding into the chamber smoothly, and Applebloom lowered the revolver back down horizontally on the table, nudging the cylinder back inside with a hoof as she spat the aftertaste of metal out of her mouth - boy, she wasn't going to be trying that again anytime soon.

All right, now what was next? Joe had mentioned something about cocking back the hammer, so that it could strike the firing pin, which would then set the primer off, igniting the gunpowder and discharging the bullet. Applebloom wasn’t quite sure which doohickey was what - she only remembered the process that Joe had told her about. Hammer falls on firing pin… maybe it was that weird little r-shaped thingum at the back of the gun?

The young filly held the gun down in place as she placed a hoof on the hammer and slowly pushed it down - the cylinder began to slowly rotate as she did so, the loaded bullet disappearing inside the gun as it aligned itself with the barrel, and once the hammer reached the bottom, it locked itself in place with a satisfying click!

Okay, now from what Joe had told her, that meant that the gun was now cocked and ready to fire - all she had to do was pull the trigger.

Applebloom's eyes fell upon the trigger, and that was when more of Joseph's words came back to her - specifically, a warning that he had spared no effort drumming into her head.

Now I want you to remember this, Applebloom - bullet projectiles are extremely dangerous. He had told her, his expression stern enough to have given Princess Luna a run for her bits. They can hit like miniature cannons, and the ones that I have are some of the more powerful ones of the lot. If you ever see me pointing one of them around ready to shoot something, I want you to hit the dirt and stay low, all right? I don't want to end up hitting you by accident.

“They must really powerful if he calls ‘em miniature cannons!” The filly whispered to herself in excitement, staring in awe at the loaded and chambered revolver before her. Right then she wanted nothing more than to see for herself what kind of power these deceptively small and thin objects held, and she took hold of it with a hoof, holding her other forehoof close to the trigger.

Still, better to point it someplace where it wouldn't hit anypony when she fired it. Slowly turning to point the revolver out the window and into the sky, the little filly squeezed an eye shut sighted down the barrel, the way Joseph had told her guns were aimed. Her tongue stuck itself out slightly in concentration, and her hoof slowly tightened down on the trigger...

Oops- Horseapples! Applebloom cursed mentally as her grip slipped, and the revolver tumbled out of her hooves. The young filly could only stare in mute horror as it fell to the floor, and she squeezed her eyes shut, slapping her hooves over her ears to shut out the inevitable impact...

---

I stayed where I was for the next five minutes after Applebloom left, continuing my inspection of the farming tools, and I didn’t even look up and over my shoulder when I heard a series of heavy hooffalls coming from behind me. “Hey Mac, ‘sup?”

“Everythin’ ok?” I heard the big stallion’s voice inquire from behind me, and I waved a hand casually over my shoulder.

“Everything looks fine so far - I can’t really find any signs of rust. I guess those beetles didn’t manage to leave their mark after all.” I shrugged, dusting off my hands and straightening myself. “Still, haven’t gone through all of them yet - I still have at least half the shed left to check through.”

Big Mac grunted, and after a couple seconds I heard some shuffling coming from my side - I turned, and saw him coming up next to me, taking a seat and another one of the tools in his hooves, looking over it closely. I shrugged, but didn’t say anything more - Mac had seen fit to help me out a little bit, I saw no reason to dissuade him from it.

Our work continued on in companionable silence for several minutes, neither of us feeling the need to fill the silence with inane chatter, and it seemed to me that it was pleasantly shaping up to be another quiet, uneventful afternoon.

That was when the round hit.

It came out of nowhere. Last thing I knew, the big guy was holding up a spade to examine it further, when suddenly there was a deafening BANG!, followed by an equally loud CLANG!, and then something wide and large smacked me right across the face, sending me tumbling into the dirt behind me in a complete daze.

There was a roaring series of crashes right after that, and I instinctively took to my feet… or at least I tried to. For some reason the entire world had suddenly set itself on tumble dry, and it took me a couple of tries to get my hands and feet moving before they finally began to respond. I hauled myself upright with no small amount of effort, and the entire shed around me just spun. I nearly fell back on my ass as a wave of vertigo threatened to overwhelm me, and I instinctively threw a hand out to the wall next to me in an attempt to steady myself.

Instead, my hand passed through empty air, and I found myself flailing and stumbling about blindly as I thought to myself where the fuck is the bloody wall!?

I shook my head vigorously, trying to dispel the wave of vertigo that had settled over me, and succeeded at least partially - the world went from spinning laundromat to merely roller coaster, and I glanced around, trying to figure out just what the fuck had just happened.

Then my eyes took in the half-collapsed shed around me, a shattered structural support that had probably caused said half-collapse of the shed, the detached head of a spade on the floor that had probably been the one to smack me across the face, and the half-buried red mound that lay underneath a pile of broken planks…

Abruptly, the vertigo vanished as my adrenaline spiked, and I found myself rushing forward, grabbing the planks and throwing them aside as my heart began hammering in sheer panic. No, not here, not again, I wasn’t going to let this happen again-

“Damnit, MAC! MAC!!!”

Comments

[Jojo Salatcia]

Huh. Well, I'm positive this can only end well.

[master109]

wait a go Applebloom because you were a complete idiot that didn't listen you may have just killed your brother

[good0bye]

more need more

[Raistlin]

3397751

Applebloom is a child. What about the big human idiot who didn´t say NO! to her, or put the damn gun in a secured place just in case?

[Beyond the Horizon]

Vunderbar comrade! I demand the usual request of MOAR from you for my monthly tributes...

[DigitalCore]

3274062
What?

[ChaosSapphire]

MWAHAHAHHAHA DIE!! DIE!!!

[JBL]

3398039 Or the big human idiot who explained in great detail how they worked? I wonder if now the ponies will go "Ehrmergawd yer guns nearly killed Mac, ah always knew yew were dangerous, git him! Bad hooman is bad!"

[HellRyden]

3397751 3398039 3400167 Well that IS what I was gunning for to happen in the first place - circumstances can be a dick sometimes. More on exactly why he didn't secure the guns will be incoming next chapter...

The Watsonian In-Universe Explanation would be that he was complacent, he didn't think ponies would even be able to manipulate guns and triggers with hooves, and after realizing this huge mistake he takes a look around the room, and then finds out that there are no lockable cabinets whatsoever, seeing that it's a Guest room.

The Doylist Out-of-Universe Explanation would be that this author didn't even consider how much of an Idiot Ball it was until after he posted up the chapter, and then had to start looking for ways to make Joe look less stupid.

Ah well, we all make mistakes, in-universe character or no. Hindsight is a bitch, and it's really easy to call people stupid with it, but humans make stupid mistakes all the time. A case in point, and I quote Joe Biden, "A man who will be the next president of the United States, Barack America." A prominent political figure making a verbal blunder like that on national television? Hey, we're all human, man.

3399995 To be honest, I'm not really in the business of attempting to subvert cliches just for the heck of it - sometimes things are seen as cliche only because they're seen all the time, but they're seen all the time only because it's completely in character for said character to do such things. Frankly, I'd be more surprised and confused if I saw a story where Twilight didn't badger the newcomer human to Equestria with a whole barrage of questions about where he came from and what he was, and I'd think she was rather out of character to do that. Same thing for Rarity - that is the first impression she would give others because it is the most prominent aspect of her personality, and her hidden depths are something that is displayed only later, as other characters get to know her better.

3400113
Right, should've clarified that in the chapter - I meant to convey that he never thought canon Rainbow Dash would have such a capacity for bitchiness. In light of the natural biases he has towards her as one of the "best ponies", he certainly isn't prepared to be met with such hostility, even though he rationally knows that she might have a propensity towards it - just not to that degree.

[Raistlin]

3401059

He could have demanded a Pinkie Promise from Applebloom at least, covering every possible loophole the Crusaders may have exploited, leaving Pinkie Pie (and her sense) to watch over them.

[HellRyden]

3401219 Like I said, hindsight is a bitch - Joe is going to be learning this lesson a LOT of times in the story to come.

Oh, and just to add on, him trying to get a Pinkie Promise out of AB would have been a big no-no, because he hasn't even met or talked to Pinkie much, let alone enough to know what a Pinkie Promise is. If he asked AB for a Pinkie Promise, all she'd be was "How'd ya know about the Pinkie Promise? Ya ain't even talked ta Pinkie much yet!" Big no-no for someone who's trying to keep his meta-knowledge a secret...

[Deamon]

3400167
Yes, because if he'd refused to tell her anything, she would obviously have given up and not gone snooping and experimenting on her own in any way.

Please. I'm sure there'll be no shortage of four-footed idiots who blame him (in fact, he'll likely be blaming himself at least as much), but he did everything in his power to both impress on her the danger of firearms, to sate her curiosity, and stop her from using her knowledge. It's not his fault it didn't occur to him she might flat-out steal the things.

I'm rather more suspicious about the thing that started all of this: the rust beetles. They were clearly acting far more aggressively than usual; a buck from AJ or Big Mac should have sent them packing but they just kept coming. It seems likely something sent them to Sweet Apple Acres. Thing is, I can only think of one person who could have a reason for that: Celestia herself. If she's been watching Joe for some sign of whatever she's looking for, those beetles might have been a test of some sort.

[Raistlin]

3407155

Celestia?! Do you really think she sent those nasty beasts to the farm, endangering the lives of the Apple Family and Rainbow Dash, just for testing the human?

[HellRyden]

3411394 3407155
I'm just saying, IF Celestia had been the one to send the rust beetles over, she would obviously have been standing by in a position where she would be ready to intervene at a moment's notice if things ever went too far down south, so the beetles being a test sent by her isn't all that far-fetched to consider.

IF she had been the one to send them. The cause for the beetles' unnatural aggression hasn't been revealed yet...

[Deamon]

3411394
I agree, it seems pretty out of character for her. On the other hand, the appearance of a human in Equestria clearly has her jimmies rustled something fierce. The fact is, something was clearly pulling the strings there, and Celestia is the only one we know of who has a possible motive for arranging an incident. She did mention something about a 'protector' after all, maybe she was looking to see how he would react in the face of a threat to his friends.

3411418
Exactly, I probably should have made that explicit. If she can get a pair of rust beetles to stand firm in the face of an Apple Family-grade bucking (and that sounded a lot less dirty in my head ), she can tell them to vamoose whenever she wants. Unfortunately, she didn't count on ponies getting hurt as an indirect consequence. IF it was her, of course. This is all just speculation.

[Doctor REDACTED]

I really wanna keep reading this.... but I CANT