• Published 25th Jul 2013
  • 4,505 Views, 222 Comments

My Little Sharknado - Greenback



Twilight Sparkle and her friends must save Equestria from a deadly tornado filled with killer sharks

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Inspirational Speeches Solve Everything!

The sun rose on Equestria, heralding the dawn of a new day. In the glorious, picturesque city of Cloudsdale, the local animals, birds, and plants sang a joyous song to greet the fiery ball of hydrogen and fire that gave them life, singing at the top of their itty-bitty widdle lungs with their big googly-woogily eyes. But their merry song was interrupted by the faint roars of sharks. The adorable animals stopped singing, the birds fled in terror, and the plants wilted.

Throughout Cloudsdale, the remaining survivors of Equestria were no happier than their animal and plant brethren. A fog of despair hung upon the city; every survivor had seen the devastation airborne sharks had caused. Even high up as they were, nobody felt safe. It was only a matter of time before the Sharkicane below rose up to engulf them all. And when it did, there would be no more songs, except the songs sharks would sing to celebrate their victory over the ponies.

It was in this environment of terror and dread that Celestia re-materialized inside Canterlot Force One, and found it empty. Exiting it, she found the Cloudsdale airport equally as empty, save for a few survivors taking off in blimps, none of them wanting to just sit around and wait for sharks to claim them.

“No, wait!” Celestia cried out. “Come back!”

It was too late. Several sharks leapt from the clouds below and attacked the blimps, stripping them to scrap in seconds.

“Buck!”

It was too late to save those who had fled like weenies, but Celestia still had time to help the others. She flew towards City Hall, figuring that it would be an excellent place to set up a command center. After all, it was the tallest building, was built of neigh-unbreakable marble, and most importantly, had an awesome ball pit for the children of government officials, and every military outpost needed a ball pit for off-duty soldiers.

Reaching city hall, Celestia landed to find it bustling with ponies coming and going with great speed. Those that saw her coming quickly stepped aside, and gave her room to pass. The halls inside was just as chaotic, with numerous barricades of chairs, filing cabinets, scotch-tape, and school-glue erected to keep sharks out for as long as possible. Making her way into the innermost rooms, Celestia finally reached the council chamber, now packed with crates, charts, maps, and lists of equipment. Shining Armor, Princess Cadence, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie were in the center of it all, all dressed in armor, and speaking with a never-ending stream of advisers, military captains, police officers, clowns, and anyone else who could fight.

Looking up from scribbling a note, Shining Armor spotted Celestia. “Princess!” He ran up to her. “Thank heavens you're okay!”

“I appreciate your concern, Shining Armor, but time is short. Please tell me everything that's happened.”

Tempering his fanboy joy at seeing his princess, Shining Armor nodded. “We've tried to organize the city for battle, but we don't have much to work with. Most of the weapons here are in museums.”

“How many ponies are in the city?”

“About five thousand,” Rarity said.

“Offensive capabilities?”

Shining Armor bit his lip, unsure how to answer her.

“We have the Wonderbolts,” Cadence said. “And a few hundred soldiers, along with any Unicorns who can fire spells. But beyond that, we have spears, swords, and arrows.”

Was that truly all they had to defend themselves with? Against the overwhelming power of the Sharkicane, Celestia knew they wouldn't last more than a few minutes, and even that was doubtful.

“If we had backup, we might stand a chance,” Cadence said. “But there is none. No one else made it.”

“That's where you're wrong, Princess Cadence.”

Several forms emerged from the shadowy entrance hall. Unlike the ponies scurrying about them, these figures wore exotic, foreign armor, and carried the highest quality weapons one could hope to wield against the predators of the deep.

Pinkie Pie gasped. “Oh boy, it's you!”

“We reconsidered our alliance with Queen Chrysalis,” the Minotaur Queen said, “and decided that she was a big, fat poopyhead.”

“In other words,” the Zebra Monarch said, “she was full of bulls-”

“What ssshe meansss to sssay, your Highnessss,” the Naga ambassador said, “isss that we realized that the Queen wasss lying. You could not have done thossse thingsss ssshe sssaid you did.”

Celestia nodded her head in gratitude. “Thank you. I'm honored that you place your trust in me. But where is the Queen? Is she still at her castle?”

“The Sharkicane came down and destroyed it when we left,” the Griffon King said. “It was so fast; all everyone had to fight with were go-fish playing cards. No one else made it out.”

Celestia closed her eyes. Though Chrysalis had been an enemy, she had hoped the Queen would see reason and join with all of Equestria to save it. But now she was no doubt a shark herself, along with all those she had persuaded to join her.

The Minotaur Queen twirled her massive war-hammer. “We must forget them! A great battle is coming, and we must prepare! And to that end, Princess Celestia, we have brought our armies to stand by your side!” She looked back into the hallway. “Come forth, armies of the light!”

Shapes marched forth from the shadows. Shining Armor squinted, trying to see how many hundreds he could count on fighting with. And then they finally appeared: Three Griffons, two Minotaurs, an old Naga, the Zebra Monarch's butler, a Gila monster, two Turtle Doves, and a Breezie.

“They are all that have survived the destruction of our homelands,” the Minotaur Queen boasted, her voice full of pride, “but they are strong and will fight with honor! Together, they will help us defeat the Sharkicane!”

Shining Armor breathed into a paper bag while Cadence tried to keep up a forced smile. But Celestia didn't need to fake her enthusiasm. Anyone who could help Cloudsdale last just a little longer was more than welcomed.

“Your help is most welcome,” she said, bowing. And in return, the rulers bowed, as did the reinforcements.

“But even with reinforcements, we have a bigger problem,” Rarity said. “It's the ponies themselves. They don't see the point in trying to fight. And most of them...well, most of them aren't even sure if they can trust you, your Highness.”

Celestia could guess why. “Chrysalis' videos.”

Cadence nodded. “The Queen sent them here for all to see. Some refuse to believe they're real, but everyone else isn't sure what to think.”

Putting down the bag, Shining Armor said, “Your Highness, if we can't rally Cloudsdale, there won't be a battle...there'll be a massacre.”

“We still have a chance,” Celestia said. “Our allies onboard the USS Enterprise are working on activating the Friendship Nuke.” She grabbed a map and laid it across the table. “Cloudsdale is heading towards an anomaly in the storm. Judging from what we saw onboard the ship, it leads to the center of the Sharkicane, where we'll detonate the nuke for massive damage.”

“There's only one problem,” Cadence said. “Without any ponies to defend the nuke, it'll be torn apart before it can reach the storm's center. We have to rally the ponies and fill their hearts with hope, joy, and love once again.”

Celestia knew there was only one way to remedy that. She started towards the door. “Then call them all to the colosseum.”

“Your Highness...” Shining Armor said, “the ponies here aren't going to listen to you. They wonder if you're even the Princess they once knew and believed in.”

Celestia stopped. Shining Armor was right, but she couldn't just stand around and wait for the sharks to come. Time was running out, and Cloudsdale needed every fighter it could get. And the only way to do that was to set the hearts of the ponies on fire. No, wait...she needed to inspire them. Setting their hearts on fire would only kill them all, and she didn't want to fight with only a Breezie to back her up.

“Yes, they'll have their doubts. But I have to try.”

***

From all across Cloudsdale, ponies and refugees from other kingdoms gathered in the giant colosseum that had once held contests of strength, agility, and aerobatic powers. Now it was packed with a far more somber audience, one who didn't cheer or wave banners as they waited for Celestia to make her appearance.

In a small waiting room behind the royal box, Celestia looked at herself in the mirror. The wear and tear of the past two days hung heavy on her face, stress already carving lines and wrinkles into her cheeks. In a way, she envied Luna and Twilight and all the others high above: they only had to worry about activating the nuke. She not only had to rally what remained of the pony race, but give them hope and courage when there was little to go around.

Celestia tapped her combadge. “Princess Celestia to the Enterprise; please come in.”

This is Picard. Go ahead.

“Is the Nuke ready yet?”

We're still working on it, your Highness. I'm afraid we don't have any more news than that.

Sighing, Celestia nodded. “Very well. Princess Celestia out.”

There was a knock at the door. One of Celestia's remaining guards poked his head inside. “Your Highness? They're ready.”

Celestia nodded, and the guard disappeared. Taking a deep breath, she combed her mane to make it presentable. One of the most important moments of her life was finally here, and there was no turning back. That is, unless she leapt out the window, ran screaming to the airport, and took off in Canterlot Force One as fast as she could.

Taking one last breath, Celestia stepped through the curtains and into the royal box. Before her lay thousands of ponies and refugees fidgeting in their seats. Some were happy to see her. Some weren't, and most were unsure what to make of her presence. All were silent, waiting to hear her speak.

But what to say? Celestia had given many speeches in her lifetime for countless different occasions, ranging from negotiating peace treaties to opening children's birthday parties. But never had she had to rally a populace that doubted her, and were in danger of being eaten by sharks.

“Good morning,” she said. “And thank you all for coming. I know that all of you have seen the videos and photos that Queen Chrysalis claims are of me. As your Princess, I can say that it was not me in the video. It was no doubt Chrysalis pretending to be me so she could demoralize you all.”

“Prove it!” someone shouted.

Celestia had feared that question, because there was only one answer she could give. “I can't.”

Thousands of paper bags were yanked out. Celestia knew that if she was going to rally her little ponies, this was her last chance. But how to convince them to go on?

But maybe...maybe she wasn't supposed to convince them. That wasn't the point. Maybe they didn't need encouragement, but a reminder of what they stood to lose.

“Yes, I have no way of proving my innocence,” she said. “I can't prove that I'm not a genocidal tyrant god-queen who wants to take over and rule everything and laugh as I burn down the rainforest and bulldoze orphanages for fun. That's what others may say about me. Or at least...that's what they want you to believe. Because that's what sharknadoes do: They make us lose faith in ourselves....in our families, and our friends. And there are those who want to become god-kings and queens, and they do want to burn down the rainforest and bulldoze orphanages, and they will use a sharknado to make their enemies destroy themselves.”

The crowd lowered their bags.

“You're scared. You're afraid...and that's all right. I'm scared too. There's no shame in being afraid of sharks who want to eat your face. But if we give in to that fear, then the sharks have truly won. We can't let fear tear us apart and destroy everything we've worked so hard to achieve. Equestria is a place where anyone can be friends because deep down, we're all the same. We want to be loved. We want to have families. We want to live free of prejudice, racism, hate, and sea slugs.”

The crowd was silent.

“Right now, that dream is threatened. Unless we put aside our differences and come together, everything we have worked so hard for will be gone forever. If we run now, all of it will have been in vain. I...” Celestia gulped. “I let that fear get to me. I was so afraid of the sharks that I wanted nothing more than to run away and hide like a weenie. But I'm not going to do that.” She stood tall, rearing back to her full height. “I will not be a weenie! I'm not going to run anymore, because I know what will happen if I do! And now I'm asking all of you to stand with me. Even if you do not believe me, help me defend our world. Stand with your friends, your family, and even those who are a different species than your own.”

Celestia shook, a tear running down her cheek.

“Let us face our fears together, and show these sharks that even if they want to eat our faces, we will not back down, because this is Equestria, and we will stand together to defend it! We will not run away! We will unite, we will fight, and together, we will show these sharks that friendship is magic!

A great and thunderous cheer erupted from the crowds. Ponies, dragons, donkeys, and sea serpents alike jumped up and down, their hearts overflowing with hope and good cheer.

Smiling, Celestia turned to Shining Armor, Princess Cadence, and the remaining Bearers of the Elements, who too, had the power of hope surging through their hearts.

“Get everyone together,” Celestia said. “We have a battle to plan.”

***

The next hour was a mad rush of activity as the inhabitants of Cloudsdale rushed to and fro, throwing on armor and gathering every last weapon they could find. Police armories were raided, then everything inside Cloudsdale's museums were taken, and then swords, spears, and battle axes from the basement of every nerd who could be found. Within half an hour, every single pony and refugee was armed and ready to fight. Barricades were erected, lines of attack were drawn up, and soldiers who had nothing to do played in the ball pit.

Within City Hall, Celestia worked with the Bearers and the other high-ranking members under her command to form a battle plan. It was pretty straightforward: they would use Cloudsdale as a floating fortress to buffet and absorb most of the Sharkicane's attack while heading to the storm's anomaly, where every magic wielder would help blast a tunnel leading to the center of the storm. When the nuke was hurled inside, they would then fly with it to ensure that it wouldn't be eaten en-route.

“Very good, your Highnesss,” The Naga Ambassador said. “It ssseemsss foolproof.”

“Yes. Now we have to hope that the Enterprise can play her part.” She tapped her combadge. “Celestia to Enterprise. We're ready down here.”

LaForge here. Princess, I think we're in luck. We've managed to remodulate our particle emitters to create a subinterspace force field relay to simulate the isolinear pulse tachyon waves generated by the nuke.

“Huh?”

Basically, I think we can tune in to the frequencies that would be activated by that third spell of yours, and imitate its specific pattern. Once we set the emitters, we can trigger the nuke.

“Excellent, Mr. LaForge,” Celestia said. “How long until you can do so?”

Tough to say, but I figure about...an hour or so.

“Good. We'll be ready.” Walking to the nearest window, Celestia peered out. Far on the horizon, the top of the Sharkicane was steadily rising. With her excellent eyesight, Celestia could just make out the anomaly, which gave the appearance of jagged cliffs where the rest of the Sharkicane was smooth and churning from the chaos within. The only problem was getting there in one piece. At the rate the Sharkicane was rising, it wouldn't be long before Cloudsdale came under attack.

Shining Armor trotted up. “All volunteers are armed and ready.”

Celestia nodded. Her troops would fight bravely, but there was no need to expose them to the sharks sooner than necessary. Using a spell to magically magnify her voice, Celestia sent an announcement throughout all of Cloudsdale. “Attention all Unicorns: The Sharkicane is approaching, and we must protect Cloudsdale as long as possible. I will cast a shield to protect the city, and I need your help to reinforce it.”

Flying out to the roof of City Hall, Celestia rose her head to the heavens and focused all her magic. A bright beam of light shot out from her horn and blossomed out into a sphere that spread around Cloudsdale, almost identical to the one that had encircled Canterlot. In the streets, buildings, and parks throughout Cloudsdale, other Unicorns joined Celestia and shot their own magic into the shield, reinforcing it as it fully enclosed the city in bright, shimmering energy.

With the spell complete, Celestia turned to her next task. “Fluttershy, send word to the city's engineers: have them plot a course towards the anomaly in the Sharkicane as fast as we can go.”

Fluttershy nodded and took off. A few minutes after she left, Cloudsdale lurched, and began a slow, but steady journey towards the anomaly.

The other leaders joined Celestia on the roof, watching as they all began their final journey.

“So it begins,” the Zebra Monarch whispered.

“Hmmm?” Shining Armor asked.

“I said, 'So it begins.' ”

“Oh.”

Beneath Cloudsdale, the Sharkicane continued to rise.

***

Within the science lab, Spike tried to keep from falling asleep as Twilight worked with Luna, Data, and Geordi on the nuke. While there had been a momentary burst of excitement when Geordi managed to get one step closer to activating the Nuke, everyone was now back to work adjusting hundreds of dials, monitors, displays, and readouts. Having no technical know-how at all, Spike sensed that he would only get in the way, and now stood off to the side.

Lights within the walls suddenly flashed yellow.

“What is this?” Luna asked.

“The Enterprise has gone to yellow alert, your Highness,” Data said. “It is a heightened state of alertness in case we are to engage in combat.”

“Are we?”

“Unsure. The Captain has probably activated it as a precautionary measure.”

Realizing what that meant, Luna turned to Spike. “Spike, I have a task for you.”

“Me, your Highness?”

“Twilight and I must remain with the Nuke, but I want you to gather the other ponies and lead them to a safe place.”

Spike nearly fainted. The Princess had a task for him! He snapped to attention and gave a salute. “Yes, your Highness!”

“Worf, can you help him?” Geordi said. “We've got things under control here.”

“If a yellow-alert has been issued, I must return to the bridge.”

“I will go in your stead,” Data said. “You may follow after showing Spike where to go.”

Worf considered, then nodded. “Very well. Come, Spike. We can gather the other ponies in the holodeck.”

“The holo-what?”

Exiting the science lab, Worf said, “It is a room where we can create simulations of realty. Imagine a dream, but being able to make it real.”

“Oh wow! Geez, is there anything you guys can't do?”

Worf chuckled. “We have our limits. Technology, while powerful, cannot do everything.” Reaching a set of double doors, Worf tapped the buttons. “Here is the holodeck. Medical is several doors down. Call me when you are done.”

Beaming with pride, Spike nodded. “I will!” He bounded off down the hall, leaving Worf free to head to the nearest turbolift. When it opened, he found the bridge bustling with activity. He went to his station and relieved the officer manning the post.

“We heard from Princess Celestia a few minutes ago,” Data said. “The Sharkicane is almost at the city of Cloudsdale. At the rate it is accelerating, we estimate that the Sharkicane will erupt into space within the next half hour.”

Worf immediately realized what this meant. If the Sharkicane erupted into space, the Enterprise would be in its path. And regardless of the fact that the sharks were actually transformed ponies, they would still try to destroy the Enterprise. It was his duty to ensure that they didn't.

Tapping away at the console, Worf brought up the phaser banks and photon torpedoes. “Weapons systems online...shields at maximum.”

Picard tapped his badge. “Your Highness, what's the situation down there?”

The Sharkicane will hit us at any moment, Captain.

“Acknowledged.” Switching frequencies, Picard said, “Geordi?”

We're working on it, Captain! There have been some fluctuations in the dampener coil; the fluctuating plasma vorticity capacitors are affecting the isolinear posimotronic relay matrix!

“We're running out of time. Do whatever is needed to get that Nuke online!”

In their state of heightened anxiety, no one paid any attention to the asteroids that surrounded the moon. Had they done so, they might have noticed the eerie glows that appeared within several crevices and craters.