Canterlot Force One
“Tell us again what you saw.”
Safe within Canterlot Force One's infirmary, Twilight sipped from her mug of hot chocolate. “I've already told you, Princess, it was a shark, the biggest one I've ever seen.” The memory was almost enough to make Twilight ask for a tranquilized banana, but the thing would only find her in her dreams, from which there was no escape. “It doesn't even seem possible that a shark that big could exist.”
“Then what the heck is it?” Shining Armor asked. “A monster?”
“No.”
All eyes turned to the door of the passenger compartment, where Princess Celestia now stood, awakened from her banana-induced slumber. “What you encountered was a Megaladon, the largest shark ever to exist. They were supposed to have gone extinct millions of years ago, but one survived. Luna and I encountered it when the first sharknado appeared.”
“What?” Shining Armor asked.
Celestia's weariness hung heavy on her face. “It was the commander of the sharknado, and the one Luna and I were forced to defeat. I thought it had been destroyed forever...but I was wrong.”
“But how did it survive this long?” Rarity asked. “I mean, surely sharks don't live forever.”
“Indeed, they do not,” Luna said. “But the Megaladon is a long-lived creature of the ancient world. And like dragons, they only grow stronger with age.”
“Uhhh...maybe someone could use an aging spell on me,” Spike said. “Then I could fight it!”
Celestia went to her side, placing a hoof on Spike's shoulder. “Fear not Spike, for there is a way to defeat both the Megaladon and the sharkicane at once. It's the-”
“I told them of the nuke, dear sister,” Luna said.
“Oh...well, in that case all we require are the three books with the spells needed to activate it.”
“The last book was eaten by the Megaladon.”
Celestia breathed into a paper bag until it burst.
“Sister, pull yourself together!”
Celestia grabbed Luna. “Don't you get it, Luna?! It's over! We don't have a chance! Without that nuke, we're finished!”
Luna slapped Celestia. “Nay, sister. There is always hope!”
Celestia threw a pie in Luna's face. “There is no hope! We only just barely defeated the Megaladon last time, and that was with the Elements!”
Luna dumped a container of sports drink over Celestia's head. “Then we will find another way to stop it!”
Celestia smashed a chair across Luna's head. “Like what?!”
“Hippies!” Pinkie Pie said.
The Princesses stared at her.
“Well, if the power of love can conquer anything, why not use hippies? I mean, they're full of love and tolerance and peace and only want to be friends with everyone? So why not let hippies try the power of love?”
Celestia and Luna pondered the idea.
***
“Attention Hippies, this is Princess Luna. Can you hear me?”
“Loud and clear, your Highness! Are we, like, cleared to make sweet, sweet love to the sharkicane? And totally not in a creepy, unnatural way?”
“Affirmative. Proceed when ready.”
“Righteous!”
The speaker went dead, and the plane shook slightly. The tactical room's radar screen lit up as several blips flew away from Canterlot Force One.
“Hippies deployed,” a general said, keeping a close eye on the screen.
Nobody spoke as the long-range radar showed the hippies flying towards the sharkicane's outer edges. Nerves were tense, and pulses raced. Luna and Celestia, in particular, had their eyes glued to the screens. They had never thought of utilizing hippies during the first sharknado war, and hoped against hope that the hippies could triumph where they had failed. If by some miracle the hippies succeeded, then the war between sharks and life itself could end in peace.
“Hippies have reached the sharkicane's outer edge,” the general said. Then, after a moment, “We're receiving radio communications.” He flicked a switch, and the roar of the storm came through. The voice of the lead hippy emerged from the speakers, but static made his words difficult to make out.
“Attention Sharkicane! We come bearing the olive branch of peace for all ponykind!”
“Heaven help us,” Luna whispered.
“Let us put away the hatred and desire to eat everything,” the lead hippy yelled, “and let us come together in brotherhood and-”
A loud roar, and the hippies vanished from the radar.
Celestia grabbed another paper bag, breathing in and out as fast as she could.
The general buried his face in his hooves. “Operation Hippie Love is a failure.”
The tactical room became as quiet as a graveyard. Even the generals, lieutenants, and janitors were struggling not to give in to the panic that hung heavy in the air.
The console beeped again. Through his tears, the general could barely see the incoming message. “It's a conference call from...Queen Chrysalis?”
Celestia pulled the bag from her mouth. “What?”
With a quiet curse, Luna cursed the cosmos for not giving her more time to prepare for what was to come. “Sister, she contacted us when you were resting. She said she had obtained evidence that you have been...how do I say it...working against all of us.”
Shining Armor's face turned a bright shade of red. “What?! How dare she! I'll-”
The console beeped again. “She says she wants to speak with you now, your Highness,”
the janitor told Luna.
Luna nodded and immediately left. “I will handle this, sister.”
Celestia tossed the bag away. “No. If the Queen wishes to lie about me, she will have to do so to my face.” She left the room, the others falling in behind her as Celestia reached the main conference room. Once inside, the generals and lieutenants set up the equipment while Pinkie Pie handed out popcorn and slushies. And when all was ready, the remote control was handed to Celestia.
“Let us see exactly what this 'evidence' is that Chrysalis speaks of.”
With a press of a button, the screen came to life, revealing a familiar collage of leaders and monarchs. All were grim and stone-faced, with the sole exception of the Queen herself.
“Greetings to you, Princess Luna!” Chrysalis said. Then she noticed Celestia. “Well well, the Princess herself dares to show her cowardly face!”
“You do not frighten me, Chrysalis,” Celestia said.
“I should, your Highness.” Chrysalis held up a CD. “After all, your crimes are here for everyone to see.” She plopped the CD into a drive. “Behold now, your nefarious crimes against all of Equestria!”
The screen came to life with a barrage of photographs portraying adorable kittens playing with balloons, flowers, and cheeseburgers.
“Oh. Whoops. Wrong CD.” Blushing, Chrysalis yanked out the CD and put a new one in. A new barrage of pictures appeared, showing Celestia in dark underground lairs, planning rooms, and dungeons. “My spies obtained these photographs from Canterlot's computer servers before the capital was destroyed. If you examine them closely, you'll see that your beloved Princess was planning a coup against her enemies!”
The Celestia in the pictures was a pony that no one recognized. She wore a nefarious-looking military uniform, evil-looking sunglasses, and had a bushy mustache. And in each, she pondered over maps and charts showing the other kingdoms in Equestria, with big arrows and the words, 'conquer these suckas' scribbled beside them.
“While the Princess has given the appearance of benevolence and tolerance, in secret she is nothing but another tyrant attempting to overthrow her rivals and secure power for herself!”
More photos appeared, each one showing the same thing: documents about how best to conquer and enslave other kingdoms, acquire the biggest harems possible, and to create healthcare systems that charges incredible fees so as to drive everyone who isn't a multi-billionaire into bankruptcy.
“No...” Twilight said. “No, it's not possible!”
“Oh, but it is!” Chrysalis said. “And look what she did to those who discovered her plans!”
A video popped up of Celestia tying a damsel to railroad tracks, laughing all the while.
“It can't be true!” Twilight wailed.
“It is not!” Celestia said, leaping to her hooves. “These videos and photos are fakes!”
“Prove it, then!” Chrysalis said. “Prove to everyone that it wasn't you who conspired to take over the planet and make us your slaves! Prove that it wasn't you who conjured the sharknado to wipe out your opposition and leave everything for the taking!”
“I would never seek to do such a thing, nor would I endanger my own subjects!”
“Pah! What is the lives of several thousands when you have an entire planet to rule over? And besides, that's exactly what you would say to cover your trail!”
Unable to restrain herself, Twilight leapt up. “This is all a lie!” She looked at the other dignitaries. “You've all been friends with us for years! You all know Celestia! You know she isn't the kind to do this!”
But to Twilight's surprise, most of the monarchs kept their scowling faces. It was clear that the vast majority had sided with Queen Chrysalis. Only a few, such as the Minotaur Queen, the Griffon King, and the Naga ambassador, seemed unconvinced.
“You can't lie with videos and photos!” the Diamond Dog King said. “It's obvious to anyone with half a brain! Princess Celestia is a fraud!”
The other monarchs nodded in approval, and a few broke into applause.
“This...this can't be happening...” Twilight sobbed.
“Say, isn't there a sharkicane we need to be worried about?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“Indeed there is,” Queen Chrysalis said. “But we will not ally ourselves with the likes of you, Princess Celestia! We will now form our own alliance and devise our own plan to defeat the sharkicane! And we'll build a glorious castle to create such a plan, complete with all-you-can-eat buffets, go-fish tournaments, and spa ponies!” An idea struck her. “In fact, forget the tournaments! Come my fellow monarchs! Let us retreat now to my castle!”
The other monarchs cheered, and in the blink of an eye their screens went dark, leaving only the Minotaur Queen, Griffon King, and the Naga ambassador.
“Please tell me you don't believe all this,” Twilight begged.
The three rulers looked at each other, trying to avoid Twilight's desperate gaze. “We do not know what to think, Twilight Sparkle,” the Minotaur Queen said.
Then they vanished, and the screen went dark.
Cadence quivered with absolute rage. “I refuse to believe Chrysalis' lies!”
Shining Armor joined in with her. “So do I!”
Prince Blueblood stuck his head in. “Help! I ran out of shampoo!”
Touched at the show of support, Celestia wiped a tear from her eyes. “Thank you all for your support. But without the nuke, or the help of the others, I fear that there is nothing else we can do now. Without the support of the other kingdoms, we have little chance against the sharkicane.”
All was quiet for a moment, a silence interrupted as one of the lieutenants came over the intercom. “Your Highnesses? We're tracking something on radar.”
“What is it?” Luna asked.
“It's a pony, your highness. Looks like someone who survived the storms.”
“Let them in.”
A few moments later, and the voice came through again. “Your Highness? The pony is onboard, but wants to speak with you immediately. She says it's urgent.”
Nobody could imagine things getting more urgent, or more worse than they already were. But at that point, nobody really cared all that much anymore. “Show her in,” Luna said.
The doors swung open a few moments later, revealing a pony who was exhausted and soaking wet. But instead of being some random pony nobody knew about, it was one everyone recognized, especially Twilight, who thought she'd never see her again.
“Fluttershy?!”
***
Taking Fluttershy to the infirmary, Twilight and the others quickly got her dried off and gave her plenty of hot fluids to warm her up. Even then, it took a good half hour before Fluttershy had recovered enough to speak. “I'm so sorry I didn't find you all earlier! I wanted to, but I was trying to convince my shark friends to stop eating everyone. But they wouldn't listen! And then they...they...” she sniffled, wiping away a tear. “They tried to eat me!” Grabbing a tissue, Fluttershy blew her nose.
“Wait, you know the sharks inside the sharkicane?” Rainbow Dash asked.
Fluttershy nodded. “They're my very best shark friends. We were holding a concert when they were sucked up into a tornado. Oh, it was awful!”
Celestia pushed her way to Fluttershy's cot. “Fluttershy, you said they were sucked up into a tornado...did you see what caused it?”
“Yes, your Highness. That's why I was trying to find you. You see, the sharknado wasn't caused by nature. Discord made it.”
The color drained from Celestia's face.
“Discord told me he had been feeling bored, so I asked my shark friends to cheer him up. But then he created a tornado to suck them all up. When I couldn't stop it, I tried to find Discord, but when that didn't work, I tried to find you. I figured you might know what to do.”
Celestia didn't answer her.
“Uhm...Princess?”
A dark and terrible fury had overtaken Celestia, her skin now a bright red, and her kind eyes were now the color of blood. Steam blew from her ears as she spun and cast a spell, the brilliant light filling the room. When it faded, those in the infirmary found that someone else had joined them.
Momentarily oblivious to his surroundings, Discord hovered above the ground, his snout buried in an engrossing book. But it took a moment for him to realize that he had been transported away from his usual hangout. “Well, well, well! What a surprise! All my pony friends have brought me here for a surprise party! And Princess Celestia! How good to-”
Celestia rammed Discord against the wall, almost breaking through it.
“Hey! Is that how you treat an old fri-”
“Did you create that sharknado!?” Celestia's voice was so thunderous that even Discord was caught off guard. “Did you?!”
“Well, of course! Who else would have the genius to create such a flawless work of fine art?”
The steam spewing from Celestia's ears began to melt nearby cabinets. “Your work of art has destroyed most of Equestria and ended countless lives! Do you have any idea what you've done!?”
“Temper, temper,” Discord chuckled. “It's really not good for your heart, Princess. Too much anger will lead you to an early grave.”
At the rate she was going, Celestia's heart would explode in less than a minute, but she didn't care. She had found the source behind so much pain and suffering, and wanted nothing more than to see it reduced to a pile of smoking ash.
“Discord!”
Discord turned, surprised at hearing Fluttershy's sharp tone.
“Your sharknado has killed so many of my friends, destroyed our homes, and nearly ruined our planet.”
“What do you mean?”
Fluttershy pulled a curtain away from the window, giving Discord a perfect view of the flooded countryside below. There were no fields full of crops, no ponies happily going about their lives, and no bunnies dancing in the sunshine. In their place was water, misery, and the floating debris of demolished lives.
Shocked, Discord walked to the window, pressing his eyes against the glass, and then through it. “Sweet heavens...it wasn't supposed to be like this.” He turned to the others, his joy and merriment now but a memory, replaced by a harsh and cold reality. “I only expected it to run wild for a few hours and then dissipate. Please believe me, I never wanted it to destroy all of Equestria. I may be Chaos embodied, but there's a difference between chaos in the name of fun, and chaos in the name of destruction.”
“Then end it.” Celestia growled. “Stop the sharkicane and return everything to normal.”
“Yes...yes, I will.” And with that, Discord snapped his fingers.
Nothing happened.
Puzzled, Discord tried again. But nothing happened.
“Discord...”
Discord snapped his fingers again and again. “I don't understand; that should have turned everything back to normal!”
Celestia's horn glowed.
A lightbulb went off over Discord's head. “Wait! Wait, I understand now!” He reached up and clicked the bulb off. “In creating the sharknado, I used up the majority of my power, and now I don't have enough left to stop the sharkicane.”
In a heartbeat the infirmary was filled with panicked shouts, questions and demands for answers.
“Enough!” Celestia shouted. That calmed everyone down. “Discord, will your powers return?”
Discord nodded. “Oh yes. The problem is, I don't know when. Could be a day, could be a week, could be a year. I can still teleport, change my skins and do minor things, but stopping a sharkicane is going to take time.”
Celestia shook her head. “We can't wait. We have to find a way to stop it, now.”
Stroking his chin, Discord paced the room, walking up the walls and onto the roof where he sat down and meditated. Then another lightbulb appeared. “I've got it! I may not be able to stop this by myself, but I know someone who can!”
“Who?”
“Ah ah, ah! That would spoil the surprise. I'd better go get him!” He started to teleport away, but was stopped as a white orb encircled him. Turning, Discord wasn't surprised to see that it was Celestia who was holding him in place. “Princess, I promise that I am not running away, nor am I abandoning you all. I am trying to help you, but I must ask you to be patient, and to trust me.”
Celestia didn't move.
Sighing, Discord rubbed his face. “Fine...what must I do to convince you that I'm sincere?”
Celestia pondered the thought for a moment. “Return within one day. If not, you will be returned to your stone prison on sight.”
Discord pondered the offer. “Hmm....well, fair enough. Very well, I accept your terms.”
Celestia still didn't quite trust Discord; normally she would have turned him to stone right there for unleashing the horror of sharks, but there was something different about him this time. There was no joking, no mocking tone in his voice. His sincerity seemed entirely genuine, and Celestia had seen for herself when Discord was sincere.
Her horn dimmed, and the barrier vanished.
“Thank you. Now, before I go, I'll give you all a little something to work on while I'm gone. It may seem rather vicious, but I assure you that it's for your own good.”
Twilight's gut tightened. “What do you mean?”
“You've spent so much time running from your enemy that you haven't taken the time to try and understand him. Tootoloo!”
With a snap of his fingers, Discord blinked out of existence and was gone. Those left in the infirmary looked around, trying to figure out what had just happened. There was no immediate change in their surroundings, and they didn't hear anything out of the ordinary.
“Anyone have any idea what happened?” Rarity asked.
“Ohhh! Maybe he sent us some happy balloons!” Pinkie Pie said, jumping gleefully at the thought. “And some cool inflatable sharks so we can have a big party when the sharkicane is defeated and we can all celebrate and have lots of fun, fun, fun!”
Pinkie was answered by a panicked yell that drifted through the door.
“What was that?” Spike asked.
Shining Armor's training kicked in; he ran to the door and peered outside, scanning the hallway for threats.
“Do you see anything?”
“No, but I don't like this. Stay here, your Highnesses. I'll gather-”
A flying door slammed Shining Armor away from the infirmary.
“Shining Armor!” Twilight yelled. She leapt forward to help him, but Luna was faster. She ran into the hallway, and was confronted by a massive shark hopping towards the infirmary, hungry for ponies. But while it was formidable when backed up by a crew of shark homies, it was no match for an Alicorn on its own, and learned that the hard way as Luna blasted it into the wall, knocking it out cold.
“A shark?!” Rarity said. “Discord teleported a shark onboard?!”
There were more screams from downstairs, and a horde of ponies ran up the steps, nearly trampling each other in their frantic efforts to escape.
“Calm yourselves!” Luna shouted. “What is wrong?!”
“Sharks!” Octavia shouted. She was scuffed and dirty, with her bow tie lying in tatters around her neck. “There are sharks on the plane!”
The screams from down below were stopping with frightening speed. Those on the upper floors could hear furniture being ripped apart as sharks made their way through the plane, compartment by compartment, clearing it out as they went. The ponies who had managed to escape ran up the stairs, trying to outrun the terror behind them.
“Help!” Derpy screamed.
“We're doomed!” another yelled.
“My hair!” Prince Blueblood wailed. “They've ruined my hair!”
Luna ran to a speaker. “Pilots! Seal the cockpit! You are not to open it under any circumstances! Do you understand!?”
“What if you're about to be eaten?”
“In that case, you will open the doors!”
“In case you're about to be eaten...okay, got it. Any other reasons?”
“No!”
“What about if Princess Celestia is about to be eaten?”
“Then you will open the door for her. But nothing else!”
More ponies thundered upstairs, many now cut and injured.
“Okay...but what if we have to go to the bathroom? I mean, there's no toilets in here.”
“Then you shall improvise!”
“Well, okay...so we're not to open the door except if you and Princess Celestia are about to die. Is that all?”
“Yes!”
“Okay, but Stan here has a list of things he's not sure about, and we'd like to run them past you-”
Grunting, Shining Armor rose from the floor. It was a struggle, for not only did he have to contend with the bruises he incurred from being bashed with a door, but he had to avoid getting run over by the hordes of fleeing ponies. Thankfully, Twilight was there to help, and soon he was back on his hooves. “Princess Celestia!” He stumbled to his ruler. “Come with me! We have to get you to safety!”
Celestia didn't move.
Shining Armor grunted. The pain from his wounds was getting stronger, and it was difficult to remain standing. “Your Highness...we must leave!”
But Celestia remained still, her eyes taking in the chaos before her. Deep within her heart, a terrible rage had begun to build. So many ponies eaten...so many lives destroyed. It was just like it had been over a thousand years ago, and nothing had changed in all that time. Ponies were still being eaten, and no matter what she did, or where she went, the sharks just kept eating her little ponies.
Celestia shook. No more being eaten. No more running away. No more trying to escape.
The stairs shuddered as sharks hopped up, roaring at seeing more ponies for them to devour. And those ponies screamed, for there was nowhere else to go, and nowhere for them to run. The sharks roared, delighting in the sight of so many delicious ponies all grouped together like lambs before a wolf.
Expecting an easy meal, the sharks charged...only to be blasted into the walls by a blast of pure energy.
Celestia's horn smoked as she shook with rage. “Enough is enough! I have had it with these mother-bucking sharks on my mother-bucking plane!” A shotgun shell flew aside as she cocked her horn. “Everyone, with me!”
Like a bull, Celestia charged the stairwell with the force of a one-pony wrecking crew, blasting the sharks aside with each shot. The ponies who had fled the chaos felt their hearts swell with joy, and followed their princess into battle. They attacked the sharks with hooves and magic; Pinkie threw confetti to confuse the beasts, while Derpy heroically pelted them with her arsenal of muffins laced with rat poison. With Celestia leading the way, they swept down the stairs, knocking every shark into submission before heading through the rest of the plane. Every room, compartment, and hatch was searched, leaving the sharks no place to hide.
It wasn't long before the main deck was cleared. Then the ponies headed into the plane's guts, making their way through the cargo bays until they reached the loading hatch. And it was there that they found the last shark, which was promptly blasted into unconsciousness.
“Are we clear?” Celestia asked Shining Armor, who ran out to check with his fellow guards. He returned a moment later and nodded. Slumping against the wall, Celestia felt the adrenaline flowing from her. While they had no doubt lost many ponies to Discord's sharks, they had managed to take the plane back. For now, at least, they were safe. All that was left was to dispose of the intruders. “Shining Armor, have these sharks rounded up and dumped back into the ocean.”
“Princess, no!” Twilight ran into the room. “We can't!”
“Twilight-”
“I'm sorry, Princess, but do you remember what Discord said? We need to study the sharks, and...I can't believe I'm saying this...he's right. We haven't gotten the chance to do so, and it could help us learn more about them.”
Celestia eyed the shark, her fury demanding that the creature pay for what it had no doubt done to the innocent ponies it had swallowed up during its rampage. And yet...she couldn't deny Twilight's logic. She and Luna hadn't gotten the chance to study the sharknado when it had first appeared so many thousands of years ago. Had they done so, they might have uncovered some secret that would have tipped the tide of battle in their favor, and prevented so much damage and destruction.
She couldn't pass up that opportunity again.
“Very well, Twilight. We will shove the rest overboard, but you may study this one.”
***
It took several ponies ten minutes to telekinetically hover the unconscious shark through the plane and into the science lab, where it was strapped to a gurney and sealed inside a sterile area, where the ponies could safely watch it from behind an inch of shatterproof glass.
“Is it alive?” Celestia asked Twilight, who had donned a lab coat and was now checking her readouts and instruments.
“Yes. And in good health.”
“What I'm curious about is how there were so many sharks onboard in the first place,” Shining Armor said.
“That's easy,” Spike said. “Discord teleported them here.”
Shining Armor shook his head. “That's just the thing. Most of the ponies I talked with said there was only one shark at first, but the guards have counted thirty, including this one.”
“The spell must have allowed them to keep coming through,” Cadence said. “And then it shut off after a short time.”
A printer whirred to life and spat out a paper full of facts and displays. Twilight read it, intrigued at the insights they revealed.
“What is it?” Cadence asked.
“A notice that the printer is running out of ink.” Another piece of paper rolled out. Twilight studied it. “Ah, here we go. From the initial scans, it appears that this shark is biologically identical to normal sharks. A bit large, but nothing out of the ordinary. But what is unique is that the shark appears to have an incredible amount of magical energy.”
“Duh!” Spike said. “It's from the sharkicane! Of course it has magic! And probably evil magic as well!”
“No, Spike. Sharks don't have magic. They're not biologically capable of using it.” She looked at the shark, as if trying to learn its secrets by looking into those deep, emotionless eyes. The others observed the shark at well, and despite their natural fear at seeing such a fearsome creature, there was a question everyone shared: just what would a shark need with magic?
Yet, among all those present, there was someone who's hate overcame the desire to learn and understand more about sharks, life, and the universe. A hatred that burned as hot as magma, and would never rest until justice had been done.
“I don't care whether it has magic or not!” Prince Blueblood said. “This ruffian ruined my hair, and for that he must pay!” Running into the airlock, the prince sealed it behind him, preventing anyone from following him on his quest for vengeance.
“Blueblood, no!” Celestia yelled. “Come back!” She ran to the airlock, but it was already sealed. Inside, Blueblood ignored the frantic poundings of his aunt. Nothing would stop him from getting revenge for his fabulous hair, which now had a few sweat streaks on it and was ruined forever.
The airlock slid open, and Blueblood ran into the sterile room, his horn ready to unleash a killing blow. “This is for my hair, you-”
With the speed of a roadrunner on steroids, the shark lurched forward, tearing through the straps as if they were tissue paper. Before Prince Blueblood could so much as scream, the monstrous thing knocked him to the ground and effortlessly gulped him down whole, the prince only just managing to yell a whiny protest.
“No!” Celestia slammed her hooves against the glass. “No! Blueblood!” But the glass held, defying Celestia's best efforts. She fired off magic bursts, trying to force her way through.
Having known how Blueblood treated those around him, Twilight felt no real regret at seeing him be eaten by a shark. Oh yes, it was sad that he'd never get the chance to reform and mend his ways, but had rushed in an idiot, after all, and-
Wait, what was that?
“Princess!” Twilight said. “Look!”
It was difficult to make out through the splintered glass, but the shark was bouncing about, the skin around its stomach area bulging as something thrashed about inside. Twilight couldn't believe it: Prince Blueblood, a pony who would shriek and protest if he got so much as a smear of dirt on his hooves, was actually putting up a pretty good fight. In fact, from the way the bulges were making their way towards the shark's mouth, it looked like they might not have to rescue him at all.
With a great groan, the shark opened its mouth as something fell out onto the shiny floor. It was wet and drenched in shark saliva, but to the shock of everyone in the lab, the plane, and the shrieking Galreiaons on the nearby planet of Garfalax 5, it wasn’t Blueblood.
It was another shark.
***
Ten minutes later (and after both sharks had been fed tranquilized bananas to sedate them), the plane's main conference room was packed with dozens of ponies eager to learn what Twilight's tests had revealed about the shark that the original shark had regurgitated. All eyes were glued to Twilight, who gulped at feeling their expectant gazes.
“I've finished my tests, and have finally learned the secret of the sharks.”
“What is it?” Cadence asked.
“It's a secret.”
The crowd murmured amongst themselves, shocked at the revelation.
“But thanks to...Prince Blueblood's unexpected help...the secret has been revealed. It turns out that every shark within the sharknado carried a special kind of magic, one we've never seen before in animals. Whenever it swallows a living thing, the magic within the shark causes its prey to be turned into sharks themselves, who then joined the sharknado.”
The crowd gasped.
“It's rather clever, actually, and it explains why the sharknado grew so quickly. All the ponies it swallowed were turned into sharks, and that's why it eventually grew large enough to become a sharkicane.”
“But what about that storm it encountered?” Pinkie asked.
“That was a fluke accident. If the sharknado hadn't encountered that storm, it still would have eventually grown into a sharkicane. But as it was, the two forces allowed it to expand and grow faster than normal.”
There were murmurs and whispers among those in the room.
“Those who have been changed,” Luna asked. “Can they be turned back?”
Twilight shook her head. “I don't know. The magic these sharks have isn't natural. I tried my own magic on the shark that used to be Blueblood.”
“And what happened?”
“It wanted to get some hair conditioner, but that was all. Not even Alicorn magic can reverse the effects. The only thing that can is the friendship nuke. If it's as powerful as you believe it is, then it'll turn every animal and pony back into their original state.”
Rarity nearly squeed in relief. She had feared that she would never see her little sister again, but Twilight's words gave her renewed hope. Still, some of the fear remained. “But Twilight, what happens if it doesn't work?”
Twilight had contemplated the thought, but hadn't paid too much attention to it, wanting instead to focus on the positive. “I'm sure it will. Now, we'll need to act soon, before the sharkicane gets any bigger.”
“Then we cannot wait for Discord to return,” Shining Armor said. “We have to move now!”
“Nay,” Luna said. “We promised Discord one day to complete his tasks. He may be the only one who can help us.”
“With all due respect, your Highness, Discord can't be trusted. He teleported a shark onboard, for heaven's sake! I say we head to the satellite and activate it.”
“We cannot; not without the three books.”
“Then we improvise.”
Luna turned to Celestia. “What do you say, dear Sister? Should we wait for Discord and his help, or head to the nuke?”
“Tsk, tsk, Princess. Have you so little faith in my abilities?”
Everyone shot their eyes to the back of the room, where Discord now sat, looking very pleased with himself. Shining Armor instantly lit up his horn, but Celestia indicated for him to hold his ground.
“I can't believe this,” Discord said. “Here I am seeking out the best help I can find, and you're already giving up? I thought you were all more patient than that!”
“Your sharks ate our nephew!” Celestia said.
“But you learned how they operate, didn't you? You now know the stakes, and what will happen should you fail.”
Celestia glared at Discord. “If we cannot save Blueblood and all the others who have been turned, Discord, I'll have your head.”
If the threat was meant to intimidate Discord, it failed, for he kept on smiling. “Well in that case, my head is very much protected, because I found who I was looking for.”
Eyes glanced about the room, but revealed no one else who had been teleported in with Discord. Celestia did a quick magical scan, and sensed that there was no one new onboard the plane.
“I see no one, Discord. Now where is he?”
Discord grinned. “I'll go get him ready. But be warned: he has some very strict rules to follow when it comes to these sort of things. You have to contact him first.”
“Rules? What are you talking about?”
A piece of paper appeared. Discord scribbled a note, then folded it into a paper plane and flew to it to Celestia's spot at the table. “You might want to have your radio operator punch those in.” And with a snap of his fingers, Discord vanished once again.
“Does he ever give a straightforward answer?” Shining Armor asked.
“No.” Celestia took the paper airplane and unfolded it, and found that Discord had written a radio frequency on the paper. She pushed the table's speaker. “General?”
“Yes, your Highnesses?”
“I want you to turn the plane's radio to the following frequency.” She spelled out the long and complex series of numbers.
“Done.”
With the radio ready, Celestia moved towards the transmit button.
“Are you sure this is a good idea, your Highness?” Shining Armor asked. “It could be a trap.”
Celestia looked to Luna. Shining Armor had a point...but Celestia hadn't detected any feelings of manipulation or deceit by Discord. And by the looks of things, neither had Luna.
She pressed the button. “This is Princess Celestia of Equestria, requesting immediate aid for a crisis that threatens our world. To whom am I speaking?”
The light turned red. Celestia expected to hear one of Discord's buddies come through, perhaps a foe she and her sister had once fought. But the voice that came through was new to her, and to everyone in the room.
“This is Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise. How may we be of assistance?”
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.............. the facepalm i got at the end was heard across the cosmos.......... it also transformed my head into a interdimensional being by the sheer energy behind it. unfortunately the head that grew in its place could not better understand what is going on anymore.
what a tweest
i.imgur.com/gfNBgSB.jpg
That is it! I have had it with these monkey-fighting sharks on this Monday-to-Friday plane!
eta: lolwhoops, jumped the gun a bit there
This is by far the stupidest story I have ever read, and it is glorious...
so confused.
I haven't really seen much Star Trek, but is this more or less weird than anything Q's done?
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The next chapter should clear things up a bit.
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Sharks on a Plane. Someone. Make it happen.
~The lizardman demands it
Sharks on a Plane! Syfy should consider that as an original movie. A spinoff of Sharknado.
Blueblood was eaten by a shark. And there was much rejoicing. Yay.
Quite an interesting surprise with the sharks turning their victims into sharks. They're like... Zombie sharks! Zombie Sharks. A new Syfy original movie. Coming this Fall. Only on Syfy. Imagine Greater.
So, this is crossing over with Star Trek: The Next Generation.
That's quite a surprise. Does that mean Discord is also Q?