Going to read this later, but would like to mention that the blurb of your story on the update search list says weeting instead of meeting.

Criticism:

First, just a little tip put the flashbacks in italic form, I think it adds to the story more then you think. Next, really Rain... Im not that big fan of that nickname to be honest, I prefer dashie personaly but thats all up to you. I saw a few spelling and grammer mistakes but nothing to big and overally very good. Oh and this story needs more LUNA!!! (sorry im a big luna fan) Im not sure if your noticed but im reaching for things to criticize, its just so good that there is almost nothing to say!!!

This is just opinion based. I dont want this to change, i just want to state my opinion. Ok personaly im not a big fan of the whole adoption thing for two reasons. First i think its too soon in the story and second I think that you need to go more into scoots background first. I mean for Faust sake where the hay has he been living before the story???

Things I liked:

With a gentle smile on her face she pulled the cloud about her face, washing away the signs of tears.

Cloud towels... Genious!!!

Also i like how you finaly got dash and fluttershy together. I like the applespark scene alot. The Scene at the end at the barracks was really good. There is more but this is all i got for now, I'll add more later when I get the time.

Random comment: I noticed that you seem to let out any bad language in the story and even in your comments. I was wondering if there is a reason for that?

Note: This comment is where i will put all lf my stuff about this chapter in. I will edit/add more later. I do this for organization and to help prevent spam in the comments. Ill add a seporate comment to say when I am finished.

3126654 Fixed the blurb, thanks

3126900

(sorry im a big luna fan)

no? really? i'd never have guessed. LOL

I mean for Faust sake where the hay has he been living before the story

That will be covered later, but first we need the re-introduction of the ShadowBolts . . . . .

i think its too soon in the story

I do understand what you're saying, I will admit I argued with myself a lot as to whether to go this road or not, and although the decision has been made to adopt, I'm not going to do the cliche one form and it's all sorted, It will be a while before everything happens.

I was wondering if there is a reason for that?

Eeyup , I tend not to allow swearing too much in my stories, I find if I do that and a character does end up swearing at a serious point it seems to add just that much more . . . tension to a scene.

As for comments, well I didn't want to be rude! LOL

3127479

As for comments, well I didn't want to be rude!

Wait how were you rude?

3128003
As in the no swearing - I don't swear too much as I don't want to come across as being rude. Sorry for confusion

3128043 okay thanks for the clarification. And i feel the same way, as you have seen i sensor any bad language i may use. I dont want to offend anyone either.

3127479

(sorry im a big luna fan)

no? really? i'd never have guessed. LOL

Huh, I didnt think it was THAT obvious?

That was a cute chapter, Angel vs RD s always funny. Love the shadow bolts idea btw

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Honestly, with the picture I was going for the "Drawn by Kids" look, so thanks!

3180911 Thanks for the feedback
Sorry I didn't reply before now, had a few 'extra' complications with health issues.

Then she perked back up and was all smiles again, very Pinkie indeed

Thanks, I admit I argued with myself whether to include this or not - I'm glad that you feel I got Pinkie's 'pinkiness' right.

I was like DAMN, this is messed up

I Know, sorry! I don't know where this plot hit me from!

Love the shadow bolts idea btw

Thanks, now I just need to make sure I don't go too cliche with it!

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To everyone else following, I hope to be updating the next chapter soon. Problem being have already had to re-write the next chapter 4 damn times, I know what needs to happen in the chapter but I seem to have a temporary house guest called writers block

Ah well, as soon as I've written a decent chapter I'll post.