Rainbow Dash is late for her weekly meeting with Fluttershy leading to unexpected consequences. Rated for near rape and violence.
Page generated in 0.014 seconds
Total duration
691 users online
677,729 hits today, 1,915,590 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Great chapter but is was really, really, really sad.
Can't wait for the next one.
3074092 methinks you like the idea of RD as a shadow bolt. :) I don't normally give out spoilers but yes Luna will be putting RD as captain.![:pinkiesmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiesmile.png)
3075306 I was aiming to hit people in the feels with this one.![:pinkiesmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiesmile.png)
Mayhap they won't execute that son of a parasprite, and that's an insult of every parasprite, but excile is accepted and I hear that the moon in nice this time of year.
3092081
I know it seems like it's taking forever for the romance to happen - but it will happen soon I promise.
If they can't that's me screwed. LOL![:pinkiecrazy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiecrazy.png)
3081003
You'll just have to wait-and-see![:trollestia:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/trollestia.png)
![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
Am in middle of editing the next chapter now
....damn it im fu#king crying. You broke me man... You broke me. This story is hart filled and well done. I cant wait for more. God damn it i cant even write correctly. This story so far has hit me hard... I absolutly love it an it is REALLY well written. Ive got no critizism because there is none to give. This is just beautiful.
Edit: I may have exadurated a little bit. No really only a little.
This is an email i sent to a few of my friends telling them about this story. I thought that you might get a kick out of reading it. Again this is probably one of my favorites and its not even done!!! I sent this to a few people soon as i finished this chapter.
Edit: I ended up sending this to a few of my friends, i got lazy and used the same email but... Yea
3081003 ... I hear the sun is Even better
3107383 Like i said before i was aiming for the feels in this one
- but I wasn't trying to break anyone!![:pinkiesmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiesmile.png)
Seriously though, I'm glad you enjoyed the story so far.
3107416 Seriously? Thank you! I know my writing isn't the best so to read something like that I never expected, so once again, thank you very much!![:yay:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/yay.png)
3113926 yea as you can probably guess i am a sucker for the feelz. I am usually very criticly and find even the most minute of problems but between the feels and the suprisingly good writing i couldnt find much!! All that i mainly see is that you are basicaly putting more well "bad" events in equestria showing that it isnt such a perfict place. Dont get me wrong i like it but well it seems a bit well "forced?" to have bolth events so close together. Also i thought that you were going to go more in detail into pinkies near rape experiance, a good thing to add in the future. Also Arnt the shadow bolts a thing created by luna as a test not an actual team? But i like how you added them. Lets see anything else *goes over mental checklist* aaah i remember are the mature and sex tags there only because of the near rape experiance or is it for future sex scenes? Oh and i like how that each chapter is about 5 thousand words keeps it constant.
Yea i am serious i send an email to a few of my friends and someone who is pretty good writer the flutterdash community. I think this story is great and can only get better so i sent it to my friends because it is a great story!!! Yup... Free advertising. Anywho thank you for the awesome story. Anyway mikea out... Peace!!!
3114004
upon re-read I see what you mean, It may have been better to split these up over time - so thank you - it's critiques like this I need so as I can bear them in mind in future fics![:pinkiehappy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiehappy.png)
I'm thinking about adding more detail to this in the future chapters but am unsure whether to include it in this or do it as a standalone side-along one shot fic.![:ajbemused:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/ajbemused.png)
Originally yes, but I just rolled with it as I thought why not? Now I just need to work out other pones to go in them - oc's or established background chars? I'm thinking of throwing that up in the forums and allowing people to nominate their own oc's - problem there is when I write it will I get their personalities right?![:pinkiesmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiesmile.png)
Perfect example being is there's no way I'd write a Nyx story as I don't think I could do Pen Stroke's character justice.
as for the 5000 words thing, that's deliberate. when I first write a chapter they're 2500 words, so I write the next chapter and then merge them as one. The bit I have to be careful with is making sure the merge doesn't make the story to jumpy/choppy in places
Finally - just thought you'd like to know am editing the next chapter now![:pinkiehappy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiehappy.png)
3114004 Sorry forgot . . .
I will only ever be alluding to the sex - mild to heavy foreplay yes, but actual sex scenes I'm utter cr*p at writing.
3114358 okay I was just curious. Im not much of a clopper myself but if ot is written well in a story and designed to only add to the plot not the main part then i will read it. I hope that makes sense.
3114318 Haha, I also forgot something.
I think a stand alone fic would work but in the end I think that you should make a interlude of pinkie telling applejack the story. Kinda like a side scene. Mayby you could make it take place after pinkie goes off with applejack after she first tells fluttershy about that event (i hope that you get which scene I am talking about, im going by memory).
I get what you mean. Also i am a writer myself and my specialy is writing a characterizing OC's. If you want you could tell my what you want those characters would be like and ill expand upon it, ill make a little outline guid thingy. Im a begining writer but i'm really good at outlining (my main writing flaw is that I suck at writing dialogue). But to be honest i think that asking the community is a better plan because that will, in the end, appeal to a wider audience.
Random thing: Also on a side note I see that you have issues trusting editors. I suggest you find an editor and have them copy the fic from here, edit it, pm it to you so you can read over it to see if it is what you want. This way you still have the origina just in case they go and re write it.
Oh my gosh this chapter was so heart wrenchingly sad. Poor little fillies and colts. I knew I wouldn't like that orphanage. I'm glad they put a stop to it and that they will better check the rest. Definitely a tough situation to put the ponies in, but a chance to see just how much they could do to benifit society.![:fluttercry:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/fluttercry.png)
this is one case where I think Nightmare Moon and Daymare Sun would be cheered on as they got rid of corruption and punished those who would hurt a foal or filly. I hope there are several adoptions in Ponyville after all this settles down. I would also suggest Flutteryshy as an Orphanage worker, her kind attitude is just what the kids would need and she could train them to care for animals.