Chapter 1 – Cleaning the Apple House
It was a quiet, sunny, summer day in Ponyville. Everypony were enjoying themselves by having picnics, or in Pinkie Pie’s case, having a party every week. But for little fillies like the cutie mark crusaders, today wasn’t the case. They were in the Apple farm sitting in the table with papers and pens all over the place. They loved summer mostly because they were on summer holidays. The only thing they hated was the boredom.
“It’s no use you guys” Scootaloo finally broke the long silence. “We’re never going to get our cutie marks! We already did everything from the list!”
“Ah’m sure we're gonna think of something soon” Applebloom replied. “It’s been only two weeks of our summer break!”
“Yeah, but we already did one hundred fifty-seven things on our list of things to do to get our cutie marks and now there’s nothing else to do!” Sweetie Belle threw the list on the floor. They all sighed in unison.
Shortly thereafter, Applejack entered the kitchen with a mad expression on her face by seeing the mess. “Applebloom! Ah thought ah told ya to keep this kitchen clean! Granny Smith needs the kitchen right now to make some apple pies, so y’all better clean this kitchen lickety-split!”
As soon as Applejack left they all groaned, but suddenly Applebloom came with an idea. “You guys! We haven’t tried cleaning to get our cutie marks!”
“No way! I’m not going to be a cleaning mare! I'm way too cool to have cleaning as my talent!" Scootaloo grimaced.
“I don’t think cleaning is my talent either. One time I organized Rarity’s work room, and she got really mad.”
“We never know if we do it together” Applebloom gave a huge smile.
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo looked at each other when Sweetie Belle smiled back “Rarity was happy when we made up, because her sweater that I washed was small enough to fit Opal. So maybe it is?”
“I guess we should give it a try.” Scootaloo sighed.
“Well then let’s get cleaning crusaders!” Applebloom cheered.
They started cleaning the kitchen right away, which they did leave in a total mess. Scrunched up papers all over the floor, but they were able to throw them away. They put the papers and quills where they belonged, and wiped the kitchen table. They ate the cookies that they didn’t finish and cleaned the punch that had spilled earlier all over the floor. It didn’t take long before Granny woke up from her nap, and entered the kitchen to start baking some apple pies.
They looked at their flanks and became disappointed when they saw nothing.
“Told ya” Scootaloo replied.
“Maybe we didn’t try hard enough” Sweetie Belle looking sad.
Then Applebloom looked at Granny Smith “Hey Granny! Can we clean the rest of the house?”
“Ah, sure youngins, y’all can save me the trouble of going upstairs.” She replied to the fillies as she was rubbing her hip.
They quickly went upstairs, and looked at the first door that they came across to which was Big Macintosh’s room.
“Shouldn’t we try cleaning your room first? I’ve seen your room and it's way messier than I think Big Mac’s would be.” Scootaloo said.
“Nah, besides my brother’s room is the tidiest I bet we can clean his in no time!” As Applebloom opened the door they all gasped. Obviously, Applebloom was far from right. The bed was not made, there was dust everywhere, and hay straw on the floor. There was also mud on the carpet which Applebloom believed it must have been from rainy days working in the farm, and her brother never bothered to clean it up.
“Well uh….at least it’s cleaner than your room” Scootaloo chuckled.
“Would you please stop making fun of mah room? We got work to do!”
Sweetie Belle got some soap and started washing the carpet, and cleaning the floor. Applebloom made the bed, while Scootaloo was wiping away the dust everywhere in the room. Scootaloo started sneezing as she was cleaning away the dust. As Applebloom lifted one one of the sheets, a pillow and a small brown object flew and fell on Sweetie Belle’s head.
“Ow!” Sweetie Belle rubbed her head. Applebloom and Scootaloo went up to her to see if she was alright.
“Did that pillow hurt Sweetie Belle?” Applebloom asked.
“It wasn’t the pillow. It was this” She held up her hoof and showed them the object that she was holding.
It was a small, brown journal. Applebloom had no idea what it was doing under her brother’s pillow.
“What is it?” Scootaloo asked.
“Ah have no idea!” She placed it on the bedside table.
“Aww come on! You’re not even going to read it to see what it is?”
Applebloom made a sad look “Granny Smith always told me not to snoop around.”
“What if it's a diary?” Sweetie Belle grinned.
“Then I have another reason not to read it!” Applebloom replied.
“Aww come on! What if your brother is a murderer and writes all the names of his victims, and his murder ideas in that book!”
"Y'all are crazy! My brother would never kill anyone an’ he’s too much of a stallion to have a diary!” When she glared at them, she couldn't help being tempted just by looking at their huge smiles.
“Well…maybe just one peek” Applebloom quickly got the book and they climbed on the bed and opened it. When they saw that one of the pages had a date Sweetie Belle smiled “It’s a Diary!”
That’s when Applebloom read the diary loudly....
Dear Diary,
Today Ah was just workin’ the farm like Ah do every day when I saw them three youngins fighting over a doll. When Ah finally broke it off, mahself an’ the whole town of Ponyville was in somekind of spell, because of that darn doll. But when ah’ was finally mahself Ah couldn’t help but take that doll. Ah like it, and helps me sleep at night. Reminds me of Apple Bear, mah own stuffed bear when Ah was a colt. But Ah gave it to Applejack when she was born, an’ Applejack gave it to Applebloom….
Scootaloo sighed “This is so boring! Where are the murders? We need to know where the dead ponies are buried!" She flipped the page to another diary entry, and Scootaloo read that one out loud....
Dear Diary,
Ah saw her again. She was walking around the town while Ah was selling some apples. Why shoot, if only Ah had the courage, and talk to her. Ah am so darn shy, and she wouldn’t have a conversation with somepony like me. But then again maybe she will….She’s one of the nicest mares that Ah ever known. Ah should’ve gone up to help her with some of them books. Just thinking of her walking with so many all the way to her house makes me sad….
They all gasped, and looked at each other. This was very shocking indeed. Big Macintosh had a crush. They were quiet for several minutes.
“Do you know what this means?” Sweetie Belle squeaked.
“Big Macintosh likes…” Scootaloo tried to put the pieces together. They all looked at each other, and yelled in unison.
“Twilight Sparkle?!?!”
Wow, this could definitely use some proofreading.
"Where are the murders?!"
Wow, Big Mac takes being a Southerner seriously; he even writes with an accent!
Let's see where this leads.
Your grammar is not that bad, Just needs a spit shine. Other than that, You've completely caught my interest in this story. I honestly can not hold my excitement for this story. :)
Are you going too update more today?
2852912 Big Macintosh is not writing in 'Southern' I presume that Big Mac writes normal. But it's the way they pronounce there words, For example. People who have a southern accent pronounced the word 'isn't' to 'ain't'
Plus, Apple bloom was reading his diary OUT LOUD. So of course she is going to pronounce words southernly
2854808
That would be true if the diary entries were formatted as dialogue, i.e.
But they're not; instead, they're formatted as italicized text blocks, indicating a direct quotation from the printed (written) pages, so they should not have the character's accents phonetically written out.
Plus, the second diary excerpt is being read by Scootaloo, and she would not be reading it with a southern accent.
2854783 Thank you very much! And by answering your question...I'll have next chapter ready by tomorrow! I'll try my best to have it ready before that
Interesting....go on.
2854859 Wow! My goodness! You are correct.
Hmm a few grammar errors but nothing that was to bad. Although i must say that i like the notion of this story so i will keep an eye on it.
2854808 Oh i don't know i have met a few people who legitimately wrote in a Southern accent... it was infuriating.
2856491 My sincerest apologizes, I myself was born and raised in the south. When I wrote that, it was very early in the morning. (I was quite of my rocker) I never intended to offend and one.
General consensus is that it needs a spell-check, grammar- check, and a proof read or two.
On the other hoof, interesting premise, I'm a writer my self, so do proceed.
I wanna read what happens next! I knew Mig Mac was a man of many apples and few words but Shy?! Ooh this can only end well!
I thought this was a CheeriMac fic.
Still.
He said she had books. IT MUST BE TWILIGHT!
Or is it?!?!!?