Zeno's Paradox: A Fluttershy Effect

by Flint Sparks

Chapter 5: Magic sucks!

“The last thing I remember after blacking out is waking up in the old castle, tied up and left behind,” I finish my story, recounting the last events leading to me spending the night at the home of a (future) princess. It was a bit of a cop-out, leaving out the explanation of our awesome mirror magic and how the buck Nightmare Moon and Princess Luna existed at the same time, but that was beyond my knowledge and it was getting late.

Twilight was brushing her mane, trying to remove the last remnants of her stressful day before going to bed while I read one of the many books lying around. I’d prefer to have waited until morning, but Twilight had insisted on getting details. The only reason I had consented was exchanging information could prove to be useful, plus I did kind of owe her after such a hectic day.

“One question,” Twilight asked as she raised a hoof. I was a tad jealous of her ability to brush with her horn. “How exactly did you figure out that you were a time traveler? I understand skipping part of your story, but that sounds awfully important.”

I scratch my chin to formulate a proper response. “That’s… personal. The point is we saw ponies that weren’t supposed to be here, and were too young to be the ones we know. Besides, Chaos reigns wherever we go; time travel was bound to happen eventually. We even have rules about it!”

Twilight stopped brushing and turned her head to face me. “You have… rules? The students of Discord have rules?”

“Well yeah!” I defend my poor professor. “I keep telling you, he’s a good guy now! I can’t exactly tell you why, because well…”

“Yeah, I get it. You can’t give any details because you’ll form a paradox, right?” Twilight recaps as lightning cracks outside her window, causing an ominous boom. I nod.

“Exactly! Look, the best thing to do right now is just get us home. We got to see Ponyville, so we can leave in peace. Better do it in the morning and get out of your mane before we cause any (more) temporal problems.” Having said that, I look up from my interesting novel. “That reminds me, how exactly did you get Applejack to agree to host my friends at her place?”

Twilight just blinked at me. “Well, you’ve proven you’re friendly enough. Applejack is a kind pony; she wouldn’t have left them in the rain. Plus I hear your friend was looking for lodging and had placed a bet. I think he won.” I suppose she makes a good point, though Lu actually winning surprised me. She was probably being nice. Anyway, she finishes her brushing, puts down the brush, and trots up to me. “A lot of your story didn’t make sense; I have a hard time believing half the things you say.”

I shrug. “What can I say? It’s a completely different type of magic. It’s bound to not make sense.” As I open my eyes (it’s habit to close them when I shrug, what can I say?), Twilight’s muzzle is nearly touching mine, her breathe touching my nose as her eyes stare into my soul.

“Um, Twi? A little personal space please?” She grunts in response, not breaking eye contact.

“Can you… can you teach me?” she gasps. I back up a foot and facehoof. Of course. Magic and Twilight are like peanut butter and jelly. It was her talent after all. I shake my head.

“You’ll learn in the future. Besides, you’re much too orderly to be able to perform Chaos magic yet,” I explain while tracing circles on the wooden floor. Twilight scoffs.

“Magic is my talent! How hard can it be?” She’s really excited now. What happened to the nerdy and uncomfortable bookworm from before? She was starting to get cocky. Maybe it was my ambient magic…

“Twilight, calm down.” I place my hoof on her chest and feel for any loose magic. I detect a thread and push it out of her, instantly calming her. She takes a deep breath and begins pouting, quivering her lip and slouching.

“Please?” Her eyes begin to wet, a single tear forms.

“Come on!” I stomp the ground with my hoof, my ears twitching and the heat in my face rises. Twilight wasn’t the greatest mare to be around, but she could still act cute.

She refused to stop and began to whimper. My heart begins to enter cardiac arrest at the cuteness overload. Rather than give in to the life-threatening condition, I decide to stand strong.

And cave.

“Fine…” I sigh as I give her a half-bow of submission. “But!” I hold up a hoof of warning. “Tell me something. After you and the Elements took care of Nightmare Moon, what happened to the princess?”

Twilight cocks her head to the side at my statement. “Princess Celestia retrieved her. We’re still not sure what happened, but the Princess is going to take care of her for a few days. Why do you care?” she asks.

“Well my friends and I happen to care about the lunar princess. She is a hero after all.” Not to mention it was probably our fault for Nightmare Moon's sudden appearance. I didn't feel like explaining that to Twilight about that anytime soon. I'd like to get home safely.

Twilight’s ears shot up. “A hero? Of what sort?” I bleat like a goat, realizing my mistake too late. Twilight further approaches me as I try to nervously shuffle backwards on my plot. I sigh again. She’d only use that face to weasel the information out of me. One of many things I don’t like about her.

“Alright, I’ll tell you. But only because it has nothing to do with you in the present!” Twilight raises an eyebrow. I look around to make sure the library is empty before continuing. “You see, Nightmare Moon ISN’T Princess Luna possessed by jealousy,” I whisper as I lean forward. The lavender unicorn follows suit, but immediately backs up as I sneeze inexplicably. “She’s actually a superhero version of her!”

“What?!” Twilight backs up from me, completely nonplussed. One of her eyes are half-lidded, the other rose. Her ears are lowered as well, a sign of defensive thinking. I acted quickly to calm the situation.

“Well, I mean, yes she is! Sort of. It’s um… a corruption of sorts!”

Twilight blankly stares at me. “Really.”

I facehoof again. Idiot! And this is why I could not score with the mares! That and the fact Lu keeps scaring them off, the brute. “No, er, ugh! It’s hard to explain! Nightmare Moon is a part of Princess Luna and always will be! Just like Discord, someday she will be good again!” Oh boy, she had no idea. Again, I could not explain any further without causing complications.

“Again?” Twilight looks really confused right now. I suppose that was a slip of the tongue. Quick, how do I distract her? Oh yeah!

“Magic. You want to learn that, right?” I ask, pleading to the love goddess that Twilight would take the bait. Fortunately, she gets the hint and stops breathing down my neck as she sits down comfortably. It was decided then. I was to teach her the first lesson all the foals in my country had to learn before even being taught a snippet of magic. I reach for my bag and shuffle through its contents, eventually finding what I need. I place in front of Twilight a glass, and trot toward her kitchen.

“Alright, this lesson is simple,” I explain as I place a small container of oil and a glass of water in front of her. I gesture toward the small arrangement. “I want you to mix these together.”

“But that’s impossible! Water and oil don’t mix!” Twilight protests as merely stares at the objects in front of her. I smirk; the fun was only beginning.

“Oh really then? Explain.” My challenge reached her knowledgeable core and her inner nerd awoken.

“Water is a polar molecule while oil is nonpolar. Polar and nonpolar liquids cannot mix because of their opposite polarity, which is the reason using water smears oil rather than being absorbed,” she lectures as she looks up toward the ceiling. It’s as if I’m talking to a walking encyclopedia. Some ponies never change. I couldn’t change her, but I could outright blow her mind!

I grab the oil and glass of water. “You’re pretty smart, but can you explain this?” I grin as I poured an equal amount of oil and water into the empty glass, making sure the tiny cascading waterfalls collide. The two liquids separate, as expected, in the glass as the lavender unicorn watched attentively.

“Why do you keep doing that?” Twilight asks as I wipe my runny nose and shrug. I must be coming down with something.

I bite my lip in total concentration as I gingerly place my hoof on the top of the filled glass. My red, furry, and very well-described hoof is barely bigger than the rim and the perfect shape. As carefully as I could muster, I lift the glass and shake it, making sure the water doesn’t spill. The oil and water begin to mix, becoming a somewhat copper liquid. I place the glass in front of Twilight again.

“How did you do that? I didn’t even see your horn glow,” Twilight asks as she pokes the glass. As soon as she does, the two liquids separate once more.

“Like I said: magic. Now you try.” She lifts the glass and copies my motion. She shakes roughly, trying to get every drop to mix. When she stops shaking it, the two liquids separate once more. I click my tongue and shake my head. “Try again.”

After her third attempt, Twilight sets down the glass. “I’m not sure what I should be doing. How do I cast magic without using my horn?” I smile at her reassuringly. A simple question with a simple answer.

“You see, you’re not ‘casting’ magic. This magic is more like how a pegasus walks on a cloud or an earth pony farms. It’s tougher for unicorns, but possible,” I explain as I take the glass from her and demonstrate the trick once more. I ponder for a moment, holding the glass between my hooves. What’s the best way to explain magic to one whose talent IS magic?

Ding!

“How did you do that?” Twilight asks as her eyes widen. It takes me a moment to realize what she’s talking about as my eyes wander up to what she’s looking at. Oh, there you are light bulb. How that keeps popping up, I’ll never know. Magic is weird like that.

“Anyway,” I say as I hold the glass up to her with one hoof so she could look at the contents. “In order to use Chaos, you have to think like Chaos. Being one of the bearers of Harmony, that’s probably a little difficult, but I think you can do it.” I give it a small shake, causing the two liquids to merge. Twilight’s eye twitches as she attempts to make sense of my feat.

“That just doesn’t make sense!” she complains. I set down the glass and shrug, giving up on the lesson.

“Well that’s kind of the point. It’s Chaos, what are you going to do?” I yawn, more than ready to go to bed. Fortunately Twilight had a spare bed for me to sleep in. The alternative would’ve been unimaginably horrible. However, she did not seem as eager to tuck in like I did. She continues to stare at me with her magenta eyes, a curious spark in them. I could tell she was debating on if her question was rude or not, but I decided to take the bait. “What is it?” I snapped.

“You cast a spell earlier. I’ve never heard of a spell like that before, what does it do?” she finally asks, referencing to my tale earlier. She was a good listener; she didn’t interrupt my story until it was finished. I was still surprised she didn’t just ask earlier. Was talent-specific spells taboo in unicorn culture? I had an inkling it might be personal, but I wasn’t accustomed to hiding it. There weren’t many unicorns in my country, so it was hard to tell. A thought strayed into my mind. Her talent was magic and she’d probably have an easier time using her horn, plus I did kind of wonder what would happen…

“It’s an odd spell. It's not exactly aligned with Chaos, but it's not with Order either so I can cast it. I’m not sure how to explain it exactly, it’s some sort of intuition spell,” I explain to her. “When I cast it, I have a good idea of what to do and feel driven to do something. It’s useful for planning, but it can be used in the spur of the moment. I like avoiding those situations though…” I trail off as my ear flicks irritatingly, remembering a few times in the past I’ve gotten in trouble. Twilight must’ve caught on, because she decided to bite.

“What situations? Something about losing your mane?” Twilight asks, running a hoof through her mane. Wow, she has a good memory. And a well-groomed mane. I look up while tenderly biting my lip and shrug.

“Well I don’t like using it when I’m not planning something. If I do, it tells me what to do now. If I ignore it, something silly happens. Probably some sort of karmic balance.”

She rubs her chin with her hoof, pondering. “Does it have to do with your cutie mark, if you don’t mind me asking?” Well that possibly answers my question. Somewhat personal, but not too intimate. Eh, why not? I don’t mind sharing.

“In fact, yes-“ I stop, trying to stifle a yawn. I struggle for a moment, trying to regain cognition. Thanks to my meager vitality, fatigue was rampant in every muscle. I stretch briefly, raising my tail into the air like a cat, and smack my lips a few times after finishing. Deciding bed was a necessity, I chose to skip the backstory and go straight to the demonstration. I ask Twilight to step back and watch, knowing she wouldn’t turn down the chance to learn a spell that hasn’t been invented yet. With a whinny and a frolic, I charge up my horn.

Magenta, nice. I always enjoy seeing the different colors my horn takes whenever I cast the spell. I wonder if there’s a pattern to it. Twilight watches me attentively, analyzing the spell. Laying my plot on the ground, I wait patiently for the effect to kick in.

And keep waiting. My brow scrunches as I tap my horn, trying to get the spell to activate already. It’s charged, but not performing. Huh, interesting.

Go to sleep.

Wait, nevermind. Better follow my own advice. I stretch my arms out once more and yawn as the magic dispels. “Alright Twilight, it’s bedtime. I need some shut-eye.” At last Twilight agrees and allows me to hit the sack rather than attempt the spell herself. I could tell she wanted to give it a try, but even the Element of Magic needed her sleep. Fortunately she has a guest bed, which I find comforting after I drag myself up the creaky oak stairs and collapse on the enticing covers. Twilight soon follows, resting on her own bed and snuggling underneath the covers. I’m forced to listen to her rustle through the fabric, attempting to get comfortable. Despite my feelings toward her, sleeping in the same room as a mare was odd for me.

I wait a few minutes, lying on my bed and lightly breathing. I stare at the wooden designs on the ceiling, wondering how a library could be carved inside a live tree. Another part of me wondered how many books were made that day, and if any remained here. The library was silent at this time of night. Too silent. I sigh, remember home. Due to the nature of most of its residents, the city I lived in was always bustling with business, laughter, and fun. Ever since I got here it was just all work and no play, rounding up my friends.

When do I get to have some fun?

I roll over to my side and peer over the side of my bed toward my saddlebag. Twilight thankfully didn’t notice, but a small beam of moonshine was reflecting off the tiny piece of metal sticking out. I don’t know how Dust did it, but he found the Elements of Harmony’s spoils of battle after our rescue, Nightmare Moon’s reagent. During our departure, he had secretly slipped it to me, thinking that I would make the right decision. On one hoof giving it to Twilight (and by extension, Celestia) would probably create a paradox. Giving it back to the lunar princess would give her lasting trauma and possibly cause a curse relapse. Keeping it with me and going forward in time would definitely cause a paradox. The only thing I could really do was find a nice, secret place and dump it.

My curious finally got the better as me as Twilight began snoring. Loudly. I slip out of my bed and land on the floor, allowing all four hooves to equally disperse the kinetic energy to minimize the sound. I check all directions, making sure there wasn’t any hidden surprises. My energies hadn’t completely returned after such a hectic day (Hey, I have limits!), but my mind was completely awake at this point. I reach into my bag and touch the helmet...

tap tap tap

My body freezes as my ears pick up noises from the window. My head slowly turns as I hear. Outside the window is Dust, tapping the window and looking directly at me. I turn around and check on Twilight, making sure she’s well and asleep. Her snoring lullaby is pretty reassuring. As carefully and quietly as I can manage, I reach up and open the window. Dust, in all his subtlety, zips through the opening and tackles me mid flight, landing on me atop of the bed.

Being the best friends we are, this isn’t awkward at all. Not one bit. Dust breathed silently as he looked down at me as I lie on my back, my arms thrown up behind my head and barely touching the headboard. His back was toward the window, shielding my eyes from the moonlight, and his from mine. It reflected off his blonde mane and illuminated it, forcing me to touch it with a hoof in wonder. His tan coat absorbed the moonlight and cast an ethereal glow. I knew he was a pegasus (and alive), but he looked like an angel.

As I stare at him, I couldn’t help but start feeling awkward. This felt like a scene from one of the animare shows I secretly enjoy.

Dust smiled weakly and leaned down. I’m feeling appreciative right now, so I tilt my head and touch my horn to his forehead. He closes his eyes and savors the moment. Poor Dusty, he’s had a tough day. I reach up with my hooves and touch the muscles that connect his wings to his body, feeling the tension. Dust leans back and stares down into my eyes. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull down his head to nuzzle him. Comforted by this, he returns my gesture and nuzzles back with heated cheeks.

Somepony coughed behind us. I lean over to the side and from my vantage point I see a figure leaning halfway inside the window. Skates is leaning in, his hooves tucked underneath the window sill to hold him, with a bemused grin plastered on his face. Twilight is still snoring away happily in dreamland, so I blow him a raspberry. Part of me was wondering how he even got up there, but then again we’ve done stranger things.

He had a point though, albeit uncommunicated. We had to get out of here. I nod to Dust, my ears gesturing rapidly. He gets the message and grabs my saddlebag on the floor. I wrap my arms around his neck tightly and wait for him to scoop me up like a princess. Thankfully a pegasus didn’t have to risk stepping on a creaky floorboard.

Dust’s wings lift from his sides and begin to flap...

Skates shakes his head as his hoof pins down one of his brother’s wings. I lean back from my bridle hold to stare at him, perplexed. My raised eyebrow had little effect on him. He flicks his ears toward my saddlebag and grins, a twinkle in his eye. Oh, tough call.

On one hoof we had to get out of town as fast as our hooves (and wings) could carry us, but then again there were still hours until dawn...

I grin back and nod eagerly. This was too good of an opportunity to pass up. Skates lets go and Dust begins to hover, carrying me. Skates slips a hoof into my bag and pulls out the reagent, the light blue ebony shining in the moonlight. The helm glows dimly for a moment at his touch, but the light fades soon enough. We slowly approach sleeping Twilight and Skates holds out the helm.

The reagent flashes brightly, as if the moon itself was illuminating the room. It dulls back to a slight ethereal glow as Skates’ blue highlights begin glowing. He wrinkles his brow and waves the reagent over Twilight, scattering small blue particles on her. Her nose scrunched as she turns in her restlessly in her sleep, obviously in discomfort. The moonlight dust sinks into her fur and disappears, taking hold of her.

Twilight moans in anguish as her coat begins glowing. The fun has just begun.

“Princess Celestia? What do you mean I’m a princess now? All I did was learn friendship...” Twilight mumbled her in sleep. The three of us grin mischievously. It worked! Skates slowly turns the helm a few degrees in his hooves, causing the light’s power to flux.

“Yes, make me your princess. I’ll be your princess! ...Excuse me? But I &!*# from there!” Twilight whines, folding her arms over her chest. Skates and I look up in confusion, sharing raised eyebrows. Did she just get... censored? Huh. We never knew Ponyville had such a silly Order enchantment. So much for our plans for getting laid.

A thought hits me, although a little more gently this time. I rub my head softly as I reach out with my other hoof. Skates looks at me for a moment and stretches his arms out so I can take it while Dust politely flies closer. As it touches my hooves, the helm briefly flashes a daisy color as my mane and tail begin glowing the same. I give the reagent a quick shake over Twilight to take control.

Once more she moans, but this time it’s more... delighted.

“Oh, you’ve brought Princess Luna! How are yo- what’s that? Please don’t! Be careful! Oh it’s hot, so hot! More, I need more!” Twilight screams in agony, demanding something in her dream. Whatever it was, she wasn’t getting enough. Twilight screams and begins pounding the bed with her hooves in pain. Uh...

Skates leans over the bedside wide-eyed, but that’s quickly cured with a smack to his head, courtesy of yours truly. Dust pokes me with his muzzle, interrupting my punishment of his brother. He nods his head erratically, quite excited. I smile back and hand him the reagent and wrap my four legs around him securely as he lets go and takes the reagent. With a golden shake...

“Princess Celestia, I never should have doubted you. Princess Luna’s tea is the best!”

“...” Skates stares at Dust and I in disappointment. What did he think the dream was about? Pervert. Anyway, it was time to go. We secured the reagent in my saddlebag and Dust adjusted his hold on me. Skates turned around and started walking to the window. As he’s walking, my eyes adjust and see a forgotten book shrouded in darkness. I throw up a hoof and try to motion him to stop, but it’s too late.

“Wah!” Skates trips on the book, landing his face on the wall. Part of me snickers, but everypony tenses. Between using the reagent, Dust’s wings flapping, and Skates clumsiness, we’ve made a lot of noise. The tension in the air is so thick, I was tempted to take out a knife and cut it. Freshly cut tension is a considered a delicacy from where I’m from. The moment lifts when Twilight gives out a hearty snore.

I wipe the sweat off my brow. “Phew. Twilight sure is a heavy sleeper.”

“Who said that?!” Twilight jumps up from her sleeping position, holding the blanket to her chin. Before her mind can register the three ponies at her bedside, we all dash through her window.

Falling down two stories wasn’t daunting for my pegasus friend. Dust calmly floated downwards and set me down as Skates landed on all fours, his legs barely absorbing all that kinetic energy. We give each other several looks, communicating panicked thought, and gallop as fast as our hooves could carry us. Our journey through nightlife Ponyville did not conjure any complications; a drunk stallion whistled at me but that was pretty much it.

The blue box that originally took us here was still standing where we left it, very blue-hued and box-shaped. Lu was pacing around the machine as we approached it. If he hadn't been moving so, his grey coat would’ve blended in the darkness. Not even moonlight reflected off of him.

I step up and move to nuzzle him, as is my standard greeting. However, he pulls back when I approach. Strange.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” I ask, concerned. Lu turns his head back to me. His eyes are filled with worry.

“There’s too much temporal energy, the machine won’t open,” he answers, his voice filled with panic. I remember taking Quantum Physics 101 back at high school, so that means...

“It’s a fixed point in time?” I answer, trying to decipher his implications. Surprisingly, he shakes his head.

“Worse. It’s not exactly time it’s stuck in. It’s hard to explain. Do you think you could..?” He motions with his hoof toward my forehead. Usually I’d be offended to be asked so casually by my closest friends, but it’s safe to say getting home was more important. Time, after all, was of the essence.

I approach the machine and touch it with a hoof, feeling the waves of temporal energy radiating off of it. Sweet honey ice tea, this was enough power to fuel a city! As powerful as some ponies could grow to be, nothing could ever compare to the raw power of the universe and nature. I set my hoof down, lower my head, and charge the spell.

As my horn glows black, so does my vision...

Author's Note:

So to all of you wondering why they suddenly skipped from not knowing they were back in time to suddenly knowing, there's your answer. It's personal

And before anyone asks, look at the genre tags. Do you see "Romance" up there? No? Good. So don't worry. These are college students we're talking about. Do the dorky protagonists ever get with their idols?

.........

Don't answer that. Just... no romance tag.

Comments

[Sergiovan]

Ermmm... Uhmmmm... I am lost. Again. At the same time. Lostception. I hope you are aiming at making us feel lost, cause this is veeeeeeeeery weird

[Flint Sparks]

3073443
some if it is, I suppose. Please just tell me what

I'm about to tear my hair out and just go back to writing one-shots if I'm going to keep sucking at this

[Flint Sparks]

3075692
1. Kind of the point. Androgynous means a combination of masculine/feminine traits. In other words, Zeno is a stallion that looks like a mare.
2. The foursome made a mess of things, so they just assumed. I suppose I could make that more clear...
3. Yes. Twilicorn exists. However so far it's implied that Celestia stepped down.

[TheGreatEater]

Saw this on "Pulling the Plug?". Have a lot of stories on my plate right now. But when my list gets shorter I'll be giving this a go. It looks like it'll be good.