Zeno's Paradox: A Fluttershy Effect

by Flint Sparks

Chapter 2: Cool! We mugged a guy!

-Twenty years later (or a week ago)-

Time and space, the constructs of the universe. Unquestionable, undeniably the fundamental foundation of existence. Both are infinitely vast; yet seem to run out as life goes on. Yet neither is definite in definition, merely only in perception. Only the few of the wise understand this concept, and thus are granted the greatest purpose in life. This is purpose has been bestowed upon our hero, the wondrous D-

Woops, wrong story.

He woke up with a start. Lying on his back, he stretched his four limbs and blinked his eyes a few times, waiting for the shock to die out. His heart rate finally slowed down to a manageable level before he rolled over to his stomach. Beneath him was a crater, where he had been unconscious for an unknown amount of time, nearby foliage completely singed. He appeared to be in a forest, full of life, now silenced by his sudden appearance. He attempted to stand to no avail as he plopped down on his butt every time.

“What the?” He questioned, trying to stand. His arms reached down to grab onto the ground to steady him, when it hit him. He lifted his arms to his face, realizing the truth. Eyes widening, he opened his mouth to scream. “Hoo-hooves?” His eyes stared at the red hooves, blank. A nearby unharmed bush rustled. His head whipped toward it. A green unicorn hopped out of the bushes and whistled.

“Wow, look at this mess! Spell gone wrong?” The mint mare smiled knowingly, not realizing the shocked expression growing on the new arrival’s face. He stuttered, trying to find the right words.

“You-you can talk!” The unicorn threw up his hooves. “A talking pony! And now I’m one too! What was in that stuff?” This remark drew the attention of the curious mare.

“Of course you’re a pony! What else would you be?” She asked, tilting her head as she rested it on one of her hooves, her eyes falling into slits. The red unicorn took a deep breath.

“I was… human.”

“CUT!!” yelled a chestnut pegasus through a megaphone, sitting on the director’s chair. The two actors glared at him. The pegasus hopped off and hovered toward them. A disapproving grimace was plastered on his face. “Look, I know you two are really into this, but you have got to take this seriously. Zeno, you may be in character, but you’re disembodied, not a bucking foal. And Lulu, more curiosity and less bedroom eyes. Seriously, it’s like you’re undressing him, and he’s not even wearing clothes! You’re creeping me out lady!” The disgruntled pegasus flew off.

The mint unicorn rubbed her dyed blue mane, chuckling nervously. “Sorry about that, I was trying to channel my mother there. I guess I took it a little far. I was going for fanatic…” Zeno rolled his eyes, laughing it off.

“Oh, no worries. You have ‘fanatic’ down,” Zeno made quotation marks with his hooves, “I wouldn’t take his words to heart though. That scene where you’re mapping out the constellations in correlation to that diagram of a human? Legendary. If this weren’t a movie I’d actually think you were crazy.”

Lulu giggled at his compliment. “Oh, pish posh. You’re just being a gentlecolt.” A white pegasus bumped by and apologized as he dragged a sound mic off the set.

“Hey, how’s everything with Raindrops?” Zeno asked casually as the two unicorns walked outside the set onto a college campus; Zeno was merely a visitor volunteering for a student film, Lulu was an actual student.

Lulu sighed in response. “Not so well. We had an argument last night.”

“Another one?” Zeno asked in a concern tone. It was the third one this week.

“Yeah… I’m not sure it’s going to work out. Why can’t he be more like you? Carefree and understanding, not like the mule he pretends to be! He called my mother crazy for crying out loud!” Lulu threw her head up at her yell. Her mother’s obsession was often the talk around campus, especially since she was hired as the new anthropology professor. Zeno wondered why Mrs. Heartstrings Lyra wasn't hired at his school instead.

“Whoa there sister, you know I can’t be tossing around in the hay quite yet. It might mess up with my mojo.” His eyes rolled in their sockets as he held up his twitching hooves, referring to his horn. Lulu couldn't help but laugh. They decided to take a stroll down by the University’s lake shore.

“Ha! You had your chance in high school. I asked you out like three times, but someone was too busy playing Dungeons&Humans™ to care. I mean, usually that wouldn't be such a bad thing but you could’ve been more considerate.”

“What? There was nothing I could do! Your mother was the DM! If I skipped a single game I’d be turned into a burger!” His whining made her roll her eyes.

“No ya filly. That’s when you roll a ‘1’. But-“ She yawned. “-I got some studying to do. My break’s almost over, you should probably head back to your campus. My roommate can’t stand your snoring anymore.” Zeno nodded.

“Got it, I’ll take the next train. ‘Sides, it’s drinking night. Good luck, I hear CU’s tough.” He turned around and trotted in the opposite direction. Lulu called out behind him.

“Why can’t you just teleport like everypony else?”

Zeno stopped and peered over his shoulder. “What? And end up at Saddle Arabia? Remember what happened last time? Later Heartstrings!” He laughed as he trotted off, bringing up fond memories.

---

Zeno, a red unicorn with a short messy green mane, was lying on his bed that very night studying the latest issue of PlayBrony. His mane and tail were dyed green, and his mane was purposely scuffled. He unkempt appearance was intended to have a masculine effect, but most ponies found it unhygienic of him. Zeno's eyebrow rose as he flipped to an interesting page when somepony burst through his dorm door. Zeno jolted and shoved his magazine under the cheap pillow.

“DUDE! I just got the latest Pinkie CD!” A tan Pegasus dashed through the air inside the room, frightening the young unicorn caught unaware. “And it’s AmAzInGg!” he sang. Zeno facehoofed angrily, clearly upset.

“Dusty. Look, I love you. But when the sock is on the door, ol’ Zeno needs his alooone time,” the unicorn explained, gesturing with his hooves suggestively. The tan pegasus flipped his long blonde mane in ignorance, blatantly ignoring his friend’s plea for privacy. Dust flew over to the derelict stereo, popped in the CD, and started blasting new age pop music. Zeno flinched, but tolerated the squeaky voice of the popular pink idol. After all, she WAS a hero.

“Yo bro, nice post’ man!” Dust commented as he stood on the wall, gazing at Zeno’s latest poster. It depicted a familiar face to nerds everywhere.

“Hey! Hey! Don’t touch my Rarity poster! That’s limited edition!” The concerned unicorn cautioned as Dust plastered his face on the poster, taking in its scent. There was a trace of perfume, faint since the day of its application. Zeno had spent three hours in a line just to get the thing signed; damned he was if he let some pegasus get his grubby cloudy hooves all over it. The famous unicorn was even generous enough to give it a spray of her perfume, after all.

Before the unicorn could unleash his vengeance to control his friend, a knock on the door interrupted him. The door was kicked open as another pegasus, accompanied by an earth pony, walked in carrying a brown bag. The pegasus’s coat was light orange with a green tint; his mane was dark brown with distinct blue highlights. The earth pony was dark grey with a white mane, his muscles lean and toned.

“Hey Zee, brought the stuff!” The melon colored Pegasus held up his bag, revealing it to be AppleFarm’s Special Cider ™. The scarlet unicorn didn’t say anything, the grin on his face revealing his thoughts. He reached out under his bed, without a word, and grabbed tightly wrapped box. He placed it on the study desk beside his bed as his friends spread out and plopped onto the floor. Zeno joined the circle and joined his fellow ponies in their conspiracy of friendship.

Friendship, just what is friendship? Some would say it’s the force that connects all ponies in the bright land of Equestria; others say it’s just when someponies get along. Twenty years ago, the solar princess herself decreed that it would become a legitimate subject of study. Whatever it was, it had saved the land more times than Zeno could count on his two hooves.

The four pals met each other at this very school, Discord’s Academy for Unusually Gifted Youngsters (DAUGY), a school dedicated to cultivating unusual talents located just beyond Equestria's border with Discordia, a few miles northeast of Canterlot. Zeno was the oldest of the bunch, a sophomore starting to get his hooves on the ground and his life together. Majoring in Archeology with a minor in Friendship, he was the bona fide leader of the group and extremely adventurous to boot, or so he says. A horseshoe’s shadow was printed on his flank, supporting the claim.

Dust Fall and Skates Turbine are pegasus brothers, stepbrothers to be specific. Skates was a sophomore enrolled to be a stuntmen through his skating skills. His skills with the skateboard were legendary, not so much with the mares. A cutie mark with a single flaming wheel was subject both to awe of his skating, and ridicule to his romantic endeavors. Dust, on the other hoof, was a different case altogether. The tan stallion, since he was a little colt, discovered he had a knack for finding lost things (shown by a dust bunny on his flank). And losing others. Usually such a talent would go unnoticed by such a prestigious (subjectively speaking) organization, but it came to Discord’s attention after Dust arrived in Canterlot attempting to return a certain moon princess’s panties. Whether it was due to extreme luck or blatant disrespect for all laws of logic, it was anypony’s guess.

Lu, a grey earth pony, was taking obscure classes that nopony else really neither cared about nor cared to remember. He was the most level-headed of the group; pointing out any flaws in their plans and helping Zeno make the most out of any night. His cutie mark was a red nail.

But none of that really matters, considering they were completely smashed.

“Dude, I’m telling you brony. Pi-Hic!-Pink’s got it going oonnn!” Dust hiccupped after taking a swig of his fifth cider. Lu and Skates were currently undergoing a chugging contest, creating a big mess from their competition. It would take Zeno hours to get out from the carpet. Zeno shook his head in response.

“No, Dusty. I can stand her fine and all, but Skates would never let you play her at his parties! Famous or not, it ain’t happening,” Zeno replied, speaking about an upcoming surprise birthday party next week. The background music and sounds of chugging drowned it out, leaving Skates ignorant of his party plans. Dust sighed and put down his mug. “Dusty, what’s the matter?”

“Ah just been wonderin’,” Dust slurred, “what if-hic-we went to Ponyville?” Zeno stared at him, his jaw dropping. He got it back together and furious shook his head.

“Dude, are you kidding me? Are you serious? We live across the entire country, not to mention that’s a tourist attraction! Train tickets would cost our entire college tuition! And what would we do there? There’s a crowd for every one of them, we’ll have to camp out for weeks just to catch a glimpse! Are you insane?!” Zeno ranted. He huffed and put a hoof on his friend’s tan shoulder.

“I wasn’t serious, just sayin’,” Dusty whimpered sofly. “Can’t you just use your magic?” Zeno shook his head slowly, his green bangs covering the somber look in his eyes.

“No man, you know it doesn’t work like that. Who knows what would happen?” Zeno answered, knowing how wacky his magic could act. He stared at the ground, drunk and depressed. They were their idols after all; without them there'd be no reformed Discord, no Discordia, no school, no home. Not even Zeno's magic would let them meet the heroes of Equestria. Unicorns only got into this exclusive academy if their magic was crazy enough, his being no exception. He was definitely not the greatest at magic or the most powerful, but his talent was unique enough to pass the entrance exams. But using it for such a trivial wish would most likely end up in magical mayhem like last time. Doing so would be incredibly irresponsible, foolish, and probably risk everything they’ve been working for-

“Eh, why not?” Zeno shrugged. The two chugging ponies immediately stopped and stared at him, joining Dust’s look of shock and awe. Zeno rarely used his talent, but whenever he did… something was bound to happen.

“You sure about that? Last time you did we lost our manes for a week,” Lu cautioned, holding a hoof to his precious white mane. Zeno blushed, remembering all the snickers from the mares as they walked across campus every day.

“What about when you turned my board into a blow-“ Skates was hushed by a blushing grey earth pony. The red unicorn’s head dropped in shame.

“I know, I’m a failure. But it’s worked before, it has to work now! We have no choice!” His hooves stomped the floor in emphasis. Before anypony could object, he closed his eyes in drunken concentration as his horn shined with a mystical scarlet glow. The three stallions in the room held their breath.

A few minutes passed and nothing happened. Lu relaxed.

“Phew, I thought we were going to be turned into fillies or something. Hey Zee, is it working?” Lu waved at Zeno, his eyes still closed. A moment passed. Zeno opened his eyes to reveal glowing yellow eyes, a drastic difference than their usual blue. A manic grin widened and reached both ears.

“Bronies, I think we’re in business. Now here’s the plan,” Zeno motioned as he levitated paper and a pencil to write. The other three ponies huddled with him, curious to see what the unicorn had in mind. Several minutes were spent chattering and speculating.

“A screwdriver? Why would I need that?” Lu scratched his head. Zeno slapped his head in response.

“Stop asking questions! Also, we’re going to need a flux capacitor…”

“I lost my shades months ago. Guess I can go buy one.”

“Dude, nopony touches my board!” Whack! “Okay, okay… Ouch!”

“My grannie’s what now?”

“Done!” Zeno announced, after writing what seemed like a full novella. This was an exaggeration of course, but everypony felt he might as well have. The four sat back on their plots and each yawned contemplatively; each hoping something good would come out of all this work. The group disbanded and went their separate ways, scheduled to meet up in a week’s time for another round of drinks.

---

“Zeno! I want to see your plot in the air! NOW!” screamed Professor Screwball as she smacked Zeno’s plot with her yardstick. The struggling unicorn yelped and redoubled his efforts to keep up with the rest of class. Physics was the hardest class on campus; most ponies waited another year before taking it. Zeno studied hard, but no amount of reading could prepare him for the harsh physical effort the class demanded; midair sit-ups were no exception. Lu, on the other hand, hadn’t even broken a sweat.

“I knew you should’ve waited a year,” Lu commented as he pulled up faster than Zeno could blink. Being an earth pony granted him with nearly unlimited stamina, making him the envy of every pegasus on campus (despite the fact that breaking the laws of physics came naturally to them). Zeno struggled valiantly behind him. Physical tasks weren’t too difficult with practice, neither was ignoring Physics; both in combination proved to be a daunting task.

“Oh shut up. *Huff* I can do this,” Zeno grunted. Lu finished in a record five minutes, Zeno took the entire class period. As Professor Screwball dismissed the class, Lu bounced up to Zeno as he dried himself off with a towel.
Lu placed his shoulder on Zeno’s shoulder. “You alright, Zee? You must be exhausted after casting so many spells.” Unfortunately for the unicorn, his Physics class took place after his rudimentary magic classes.

“Yeah, I suppose. Just a little tired. At least summer break starts tomorrow, right?” Lu grinned in response. Finals this year was difficult, but it seemed like everypony would pass! The two friends glowed at each other, positive that tomorrow would go off without a hitch. It had been six days since their last drinking night, and they had gathered the supplies they were in charge of retrieving.

Zeno stood up and began trotting. “We should probably pick up Dust. He’s probably done with his last class anyway.” Lu followed obediently.

True to his word, Dust was nearly done with his Communications final. A few unoriginal ponies had decided to use filly toys to call the professor (the task in question), but Dust had opted for a different approach. Holding a banana to his ear, Dust tapped his desk impatiently. Professor Cell raised an eyebrow at this peculiar pegasus. After teaching for several years, he’s never seen so much promise in a pegasus. Only a few minutes passed before something vibrated in the professor’s pocket. Cell reached into his polo’s pocket and answered his cell phone.

“Hello?” He asked, hoping it was one of his students. It was awkward sitting in silence as each student tried in vain to violate reason. However…

“Ring ring ring!” Dust called out. “Bana-“

“Congratulations, you’re the first to pass. Go on home Mr. Fall,” Professor Cell waved him away, interrupting an incredibly obvious reference unbeknownst to the rest of the class. Dust happily flew out, only to fly into Zeno and Lu. The two had patiently waited for him, knowing he wouldn’t take long. In his excitement, Dust couldn’t help but embrace the two. They laughed and hugged back, enjoying Dust’s victory.

Skates wasn’t hard to retrieve. He only took morning classes and was already skateboarding at the park. Noticing the trio set out to pick him up, he nodded and showed them his latest trick. He used his wings to gather speed as he sped toward a ramp. He launched up in the air and flipped over, grabbing the board in his mouth. Right before he landed, he pushed off with his tongue and flipped over, landing on his back hooves. His friends applauded at his nonsensical front flip. Skates performed a victory tail flip.

“Did you guys get the stuff?” Zeno asked the group after everypony had settled in his dorm room. The other three nodded and threw their saddlebags in the middle of the circle after Zeno. Some of the items were completely random, others were various beverages and travel necessities. The nature of their journey demanded they bring some of their collectables as well, including a few items begging to be signed by their idols. The four stallions shuffled their hooves, nervously daydreaming about the possibilities.

“Okay Zee, what’s the plan?” Lu probed. They had gone over the details Zeno had given out, but nopony knew exactly what was going on. Zeno’s ears drooped as he shrugged.

“Well, all I know is that we have to go…” The unicorn reached into his bag and flattened a map on the floor. “There.” His hoof pointed to the forest at the edge of the mountain range Canterlot was located. It was a day’s journey at best, perfect timing for the adventurous quartet. Each pony memorized the location just in case before checking their supplies. Satisfied that every need was taken care of, they set out.

Nopony minded them as they trotted their way across campus, arriving at the gate. The gate, conjured by Discord himself, was made of enchanted crystal roses. The gate would only open for somepony with chaos in their heart; anypony else attempting to open it would only be scratched by the thorns. However, sitting atop it was Discord himself. The reformed king of Chaos appeared to be in a light nap, only stirring to scratch himself. The four worried that the omniscient dean would try to foil their plans, being friendly with the Elements of Harmony and all. The brave quartet tiptoed past, making sure not to snap a single twig as they gingerly closed the gate behind them.

As soon as they were out of earshot, they galloped as fast as their hooves could carry them. Discord opened a single eye as he lay upon the gate, curious to what chaos his students were out to spread.

---

“Eh, now what?” Dust asked, tilting his head adorably. He was the highest scoring student in his year, yet acted as the group’s airhead at times. They were currently hiding in a bush for unknown reasons as Zeno’s horn had begun glowing. The unicorn reached up and pulled the blonde pegasus’s head down into the bush to avoid being spotted by any wildlife. He was not going to waste a whole day travelling just to lose his opportunity to meet his idols in their hometown.

“Shh, now we wait,” Zeno ordered as he smeared mud streaks on his cheeks. It had already been an hour since their wait had begun, and someponies were getting anxious. Skates, in particular, was fidgeting like a windigo during summer.

“Come on man! Skatey has to go wee wee,” Skates whined, trying to hold it in.

“Five. More. Minutes,” Zeno finally announced. Everypony immediately shut up and waited. Five minutes passed without incident. Just when everypony was ready to give up…

*Insert space sound effect here*

“Lazy!” Dust cried out. Zeno hushed him as a mysterious tear in space appeared in the clearing they had been observing for the better of an hour. The spacial rend dissipated as a blue box took its place. It resembled a police box, a common sight in television lately. The door opened and a brown earth pony wearing a tie walked out. The earth pony rubbed his dark mane with his hoof in absolute glee.

“Golly! I’ve invented time travel! Or at least I think I have. Even if I didn’t, I’ve already traveled for who knows how many miles! Wait until everypony at the university hears of this! Even without time involved, my machine can travel immense distances in mere minutes!” The earth pony excitably cheered.

Zeno smiled. “Bingo.” His three loyal friends looked at him with skepticism. What were they going to do, mug him?

“Here’s what we’re going to do.” Zeno whispered. “Just follow my lead. As long as we return it eventually, it’s not stealing. Right?” The other three looked at him and shrugged. They’ve gotten away with worse. The earth pony approached a nearby bush and nibbled at some of the berries growing. Zeno waited until he had closed his eyes to relish the flavor before charging.

Slam! The police box’s door closed with a slam. The earth pony jumped around and shouted, running toward the police box.

“Whoa, it’s bigger on the inside!” Lu commented as he studied the instruments and appliances featured inside the machine. “Either somepony had been studying under HammerSpace Technologies© or that pony is something else!”

Zeno fiddled with the controls as his horn flared a bright yellow glare. His hooves moved faster than he could keep track of as he tuned out the sounds of the earth pony bucking the door. One last step was needed before they could travel, but for some reason his hooves had stopped moving. He slammed the console in frustration.

“Blast! I forgot a screwdriver!” Zeno muttered. Fortunately for him, Dust flew over and handed him one. “Thanks Dusty, where’d ya find this?”

Dust shrugged. “I dunno, it was just… there.” Zeno nodded, expecting nothing less from Dust. The scarlet pony brought the screwdriver down into the console’s sole slot and turned it ninety degrees counterclockwise. The machine finally began humming in response. Zeno lightly pushed a red knob forward, causing the humming to intensify. The pounding on the door stopped as the police box left reality entirely.

Lu and Skates wandered the police box in curiosity, peering at the wiring and various machinery built inside. Lu experimentally pushed a button. Everypony in the room jumped as what appeared to be shutters opened, revealing a window on one wall. The four trotted over and peered outside it.

“Whoa, is this hyperspace?” Zeno muttered as he gazed upon the blue stream outside. Stars appeared to be flitting by as the machine traveled through space itself.

“Dude, was that the sun?!” Skates cried as he pointed at a warped yellow orb, which did appear to be the sun. Everypony else just shrugged. A few more celestial bodies appeared fleetingly as the machine passed by. Something came into view and caused Dust to panic.

“Stop the machine! Stop it!” Dust cried out desperately. Zeno’s horn obliged as he used magic to pull a mysterious blue lever. The machine stopped in the spacial warp zone, but didn’t materialize in the material plane. The four ponies pushed their faces onto the glass to peer at the object of Dust’s desperation. It appeared to be a giant glass screen with a black plastic border. It was bigger than their machine.

“Hey, that seems familiar…” Zeno commented. Dust shouted out again.

“Yeah! That’s the fourth wall! I remember when Pinkie visited my class and lectured about it! Then she sang a song about breakingstuffandbroughtoutthepartycannonandpartiedand-“Zeno interrupted with a single hoof to Dust’s mouth.

“So that’s what it looks like. Hm… wait. IS that what I think it is?!” Zeno shoved his face as close as possible. There appeared to be scribbles on the floating wall. Dust squealed and opened the window to fly out. Zeno tried to order him back inside, then remembered physics weren’t much of an issue to them. The three less rash ponies shrugged and followed him, utilizing the lack of gravity.

Engraved on the fourth wall was the signature of the pop idol herself!

“Wait, one second,” Zeno muttered as he blew on the signature. It was a little dusty, a little hoof wipe was enough to clear out. “Ah, much better!”

Pinkie Pie And Discord Was Here! <3

“Well, that’s not exactly surprising, now is it?” Lu commented as they floated back into the machine. Dust had tried tapping on it and waving, but it didn’t appear to be active today. Theories suggested it only activated once a week, in particular on Saturday, but nopony could be absolute sure.

“Well, that was weird. What’s next? Poptart cats?” Zeno laughed as he started the machine again. Dust had finally gotten comfortable by sticking his head out the window. The space wind blew back his facial features, his tongue sticking out. Dust reminded Zeno of a dog riding in a carriage drawn by pegasi.

“Yo, bro! How long do I hafta wait? I can’t hold it longer!” Skates whined as he shook in agony. He would’ve relieved himself at the forest, but it could’ve blown their cover.

“Not much, maybe five minutes? Hey, why is the ground getting wet? SKATES!” Zeno shouted at the orange pegasus who had finally relieved himself. Fortunately the machine’s carpet absorbed it to negligible levels, leaving only a faint odor. Still, Zeno thought it was rather gross. Skates merely grinned lazily as his eyes drooped. Before he could punish the insufferable pegasus, the machine began rocking.

“Ah! Everypony grab something!” Zeno shouted as he grabbed onto a console. The machine rocked violently and threw Lu (the only one unlucky enough to not have heard Zeno) around the walls, smacking him onto the ceiling and floor repeatedly. Dust tried to grab him, but only managed to throw him harder against the wall. Zeno used magic to steady himself as he fiddled with several instruments. The machine began rocking harder. Dust held onto a support beam as several items flew out of his saddlebag.

“Ow ow ow!” Lu screamed as he was hit by several objects. A hairbrush hit his eye, causing it to bruise. A brick flew over and hit his head, knocking him out. A dirty sock landed on his nose and revived him. He tried to dodge the last object to no avail.

“Down Nyan, down!” Dust commanded his pet as the toaster strudel scratched a struggling Lu and meowed. Zeno continued to adjust the machine’s controls. Dust gasped as an anvil slipped out of his saddlebag and began falling toward Lu, pinned on the opposite wall.

Lu, an intellect with a vocabulary rivaling the previous Princess, Celestia, managed to utter one last phrase of wisdom as he faced his impending doom. “Eep.”

“Yes! We’re here!” Zeno shouted as he punched a red button. Gravity immediately turned to normal and Lu fell with a light thud. He rubbed his head in relief right before the hairbrush returned from above for seconds. Lu laughed in appreciation, cut short by the brick knocking him out. The three other ponies stared at the spectacle.

“Um, where the sock?” Skates asked, having seen the entire thing. On cue, the dirty gym sock fell from the ceiling onto Skate’s face, causing him to faint. Zeno shook his head.

“Dust, you need to learn what a washing machine is. No matter, come on. We’re in Ponyville!” Zeno’s cheer managed to rouse Skates and Lu from unconsciousness. Happy and cheerful, the quartet exited the machine to face the outside world. The machine had landed just inside the Everfree Forest, outside the view of any passing villager. The four snickered, finally achieving their dream. They trotted toward Ponyville, wondering what they could get signed first. A few ponies of various colors passed by, most likely attending to random duties. Something inside Zeno stirred his curiosity.

“Hey, why are there so few ponies? I thought this was a tourist hotspot,” he questioned, rubbing his head. No matter, less wait time to meet their heroes! The four walked around, taking in the sights. An apron-wearing stallion sweeping the front of a bakery waved at them as they passed by. As he waved back, Zeno’s stomach rumbled. Deciding they could spare a few bits, the group followed the stallion into the bakery store. Managing the counter was a pink mare.

“Hello Miss. I’d like a cupca-“ Zeno started, but was interrupted by a loud gasp. The pink mare was staring at the four in shock as she jumped into the air, slightly defying gravity. Before anypony could say anything, she dashed out faster than ponily possible. She was faster than Dust on a sugar high! Everypony in the group scratched their head. It couldn’t be..?

“Dude. I think that was Pinkie Pie,” Dust drooled dreamily. Zeno shook his head.

“That doesn’t make sense. You should know this, but isn’t she supposed to be in Fillydelphia on tour?” Dust’s tan ears perked up in interest.

“You know, you’re right. Maybe she’s on break!”

“Um, she just started a week ago.”

“Excuse me sirs, but are you talking about my employee?” The stallion tending to the store asked as he walked up to the younger stallions. Zeno approached him and answered. The older stallion cocked his head in curiosity.

“You must be new to town. Pinkie knows everypony here, and every new pony gets a party!” His declaration caused a simultaneous squee from the quartet of fanboys, even the one who hated her music. “Wow, you must have heard of her.”

“Well duh! She’s like, amaaazing!” Dust cried out as he stood on his hind legs, wings flapping. “She’s pretty, has a great voice, and throws the most epic of parties EVER!” The store owner couldn’t help but chuckle jollily at Dust’s excitement.

“Looks like somepony has a crush. Not sure if Pinkie is looking for a special somepony, but you seem like a nice fellow. I’m Mr. Cake, nice to meet you.” The stallion shook hooves with the blushing pegasus. The other three continued with their introductions as well.

“Well, I expected more ponies to be around. Things seem pretty slow today,” Zeno commented as he shook hooves with the kind Mr. Cake. Mr. Cake laughed.

“Slow? This is the busiest day of the year! Not to mention the princess herself is visiting this year!” Mr. Cake grinned. Zeno’s left ear perked up and twitched.

“Princess Twilight is coming?! I thought she had business with the griffins?” He said, confused. Mr. Cake frowned in response.

“Princess Twilight? Never heard of her. But if you mean Princess Celestia, she should be raising the sun at the next dawn, here in Ponyville!” Mr. Cake raised his hoof toward the ceiling as he put his other on Zeno’s shoulder. Zeno sputtered.

“Princess Celestia? What the hay is going on around here?!” Zeno demanded to know. Mr. Cake raised an eyebrow in alarm.

“Well, my dear. It’s the Summer Sun Celebration!”