All Too Easy
It started out just like any other day. Wake up, eat breakfast, shower, then leave for school. School was normal. I just stared out the window like always, wishing I could be anywhere else. There was no magical energy to be exposed to, no freak storm, no lightning bolts.
It just, happened.
My brother wasn’t a bad driver, I’m not saying he was Jeff Gordon, but we had never crashed, nor ran a red light (well, maybe when I wasn’t with him he did...), nor had he gotten a ticket. But that day, he messed up.
The light was green, so he went. He didn’t listen to my old mom and didn’t bother to check both ways, after all, who goes when the light is red? Apparently some assholes do, because we were sideswiped, t-boned, whatever you wanna call it. Whoever was driving, killed me.
I’m not a religious, or rather, I was not a religious kid. My parents were atheist, and they never took us to church. When I was 14 they gave me a bible and told me to figure out what I believed in. I scoffed, and never opened the damn thing. I figured when I died, that was it. No sense in making up false paradises to make it easier. I would get one life, and one life only, to live, love, cry, and all that other crap.
Of course, I never completely dismissed the chance that, maybe there was a god, watching over us, or an afterlife, or a hell. A scientist knows that nothing is impossible, some things are just highly improbable, or without proof. Did I ever consider the chance that something like this would happen? No. Did I freak the fuck out when it did? Yes. Yes I did. Or at least, when I finally found out that it did.
Now, back to the crash, well, after the crash. For a few years after, I remembered nothing. My earliest memory in my new life was one of Mother, er- Queen Chrysalis, ordering me to kill a young cow calf. I remember throwing my weight into it to knock it over, then tearing at it with my fangs. Shredding and ripping flesh off in chunks. For the first couple of seconds it cried in pain, but after I chomped on its neck, it was silent. By the time I was done, I was standing in a pool of blood, surrounded by bits of flesh and organs. The creature’s intestine was partly wrapped around my neck like a scarf, and stomach acid had caused part of my exoskeleton to dissolve. It wasn’t enough to go completely through, but even to this day that part of my front left leg is rough to the touch, a memento of the first of my many kills.
Most of my new, young life, I remembered my old one not. My name was, no, is, Silver.
A reference not only to my silver eyes, hair, and wings, (my carapace is purple) but to my birthright of Prince of the Changelings. A ruling class changeling. One capable of magic rivaling Princesses Celestia and Luna of Equestria. Of course, thats why I was hatched. My sole purpose for creation, was to destroy those two and all they stood for.
Growing up, I was mostly alone with Mother. She taught me a great many things about controlling the swarm. How to command bodies individually, and how to delegate groups to be controlled by a greater class or even to let a body control itself. How to absorb love, and to distribute it as needed among drones. How to kill quickly and efficiently, and to trap with my saliva. Raised to be the greatest ruler the hive had ever seen.
I never found out which changeling was my father. Not that I cared. The one who fertilized my egg was more than likely just a random military general.
There was also one other whom I spent time with. Tempest. My sister and predetermined mate. After all, a king with no subjects is not a king at all. Thats why she was hatched. Her purpose in the hive was to provide me with soldiers and workers. Release of my tension was also one of her duties. We changelings may not be able to feel love, but we can become sexually frustrated.
All royal changelings do not age once mature. In other words, we live forever unless killed by something. At the time of our hatching, nothing threatened the hive. Why Mother then decided that she needed to prepare successors is beyond me, and probably always will. After all, she didn’t plan on partaking in the siege on Canterlot, that was my and my sister’s job.
But I’ve probably told you about my ‘purpose in life’ long enough already. Time to get to the good stuff. Unless my story bores you. Then I advise you leave.
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I was 15, the same age I was when the accident happened and I died, except now, I was a changeling. I was trying my hand at directing several drones specifically to coordinate an attack against the mock defenses Mother had set up when a bolt of pain raced through my head. I lost focus and my drones gained control of their bodies just as Mother’s crushed them into the ground and ended their short lives.
You fail. Her voice filled my head from within. I’m honestly not sure if you were even trying you useless wretch. You’re an embarrassment to your hive. I wasn’t looking at her, but I could feel her gaze penetrating my shell and boring into my skin.
Mother forgive me. I know not what came over me. I projected my thoughts to her. It felt akin to nothing I have experienced before. It tore at my mind and made me lose control.
Tore at your mind, you say? There was a cruel undertone buried within the mock concern she projected. Was it anything like, this? As she finished she tore at my consciousness, lashing at my sanity and causing my body to cry out in pain. She waited a few seconds before prompting me. Well, was it?
“Oh, um, yeah, actually exactly like that!” I said. “Wait, why am I talking? That’s inefficient, its much faster and easier to just project my thoughts yet here I am talking... Weird.”
Oh shut up and get more drones, we aren’t done yet.
Yes, Mother.
Later that night after I had retired to my chamber, I got another bolt of pain. This time, however, the pain was accompanied by a vision of a strange place and a single still image of a strange creature with a white-tanish body covered in cloth standing on two legs. It had a weird, flat face and small yet intelligent eyes. Its hair was short and brown, but didn't even come close to reaching past its neck.
I immediately reached out to my sister’s mind and projected the image to her. What in the hive is this?
I am... not sure... It is like nothing I have even seen before. Hold on a second, I am going to search the scouts’ memories for anything similar. Her presence spread out among the hive, and returned to her own mind a single second later. Nothing, and there’s nothing any other class would have seen they would not have. Shall I ask Mother?
Why would we? We can’t rely on her to guide us forever, well, we can, actually, but that is beside the point. We can figure this out on our own. Let us just send a few of the scouts you made out to search the Everfree forest or something.
About that....
What?
You see, they kind of, well, they aren’t quite willing to obey.
...your scouts went feral...?
Hey! It is a lot harder than you would think to create willful minds!
Oh really? How so? I fertilized them, my seed is fine, you just needed to lay them!
...that’s the hard part...
Oh, for the hive’s sake. How about I go, then, I’ll tell mother I wish to try and infiltrate a small pony village for practice, and see what I can learn about these creatures.
And just how do you plan to keep your true intentions a secret?
That is where you come in. Find those thoughts and block them with your mind when we join.
And what happens if she sees through us?
I tell her you are forcing those thoughts into me and she reforms you, simple as that.
But if she reforms me, I will not be able to act singularly, you willl have to -she projected as much of a mental shudder as possible- control my body.
...and?
I do not want that! I want to have the choice to remain singular when I want!
...and?
Fine, but IF you somehow manage to not get caught and find one of those creatures, I get to keep it, and you must allow me to control your body so I can actually get some pleasure next time we mate.
I paused, giving up control of my body would be risky, she could kill me easily and take the throne for her own, a King may need a Queen, but the reverse is not true. But, for some reason, I felt incredibly strongly about this, weird, oddly shaped creature. Deal, let us join so we can establish and disguise a barrier to all thoughts of these things.
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Join me to discuss it. I complied and joined my consciousness with Mother’s. You’re asking permission to go out and infiltrate, on your own, at the age of fifteen, without any formal infiltration training, and without giving me any forewarning...?
My physical body gulped from my chamber. Yes, Mother. If you would giv-
Why the hell did you ask? If you want to get out of here and go frolic around in the flowers, just leave. You know if you escape my mind’s range you are free to do as you please. So why do you ask?
Well, because you are the Queen Mother.
Ha, go, I could use a break from your insolence. Perhaps I can teach your sister how to prep an egg for a selected class while you go get yourself killed. Now, begone, and don’t come back without food. She severed the connection, and I couldn't help but jump into the air in celebration. I unfolded my wings and flew to my sister’s chamber.
“She’s letting me go!” I cheered and flew in a circle around her. “I’m leaving the hive, for the first time!” She, however, did not look nearly as excited as I did, and just rolled her eyes at me.
What has gotten into you? You are acting like a childish pony. You were going to leave the hive eventually.
“Uhm... Actually, I do not know. That felt very strange. Like, huh, nevermind, there is no way I would go feral. I was hatched to be perfect, it is probably just, growth hormones.
Keep your hormones to yourself. Once you are gone, I shall convince Mother I am a far superior candidate for the throne than you. Do not fret, I shall save a spot for you at the base of my throne for grovelling.
To rule, one should be able to hatch a non-feral body. If you cannot even lay one scout, I have nothing to worry about.
Leave.
With that, I headed towards the main entrance.
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I stepped outside the Hive for the first time in my life, and immediately suffered another flash of pain. I slumped down onto the ground as it worked its way through my mind and curled into a small ball. When the wave finally left after what felt an eternity, I was left with a single word, lingering in the depths of my thoughts. Human.
“Well, that’s a good lead,” I said to myself as I took my first steps into the wastelands. I scanned the horizon for the first time from outside the hive. The red sun to the west was setting over the Macintosh Hills. To the East were more mountains, but my destination, for the time being, was north. So I started walking.
I got about a mile before I collapsed with exhaustion. “Oh god, why the hive,” I gasped between breathes “am, I, so, damn, tired?” I located a small rock jutting out of the ground and dragged myself over to it. I propped myself against the rock and stared out into the badlands. The sunlight was now nearly gone, and the moon was preparing to ascend the night sky. “Maybe Mother weakened me so as to drive me back into the hive...” I said aloud to myself, “But I shall not let her win, I am going to find one of these humans, and find out why it was in my thoughts. Just as soon as I-” I yawned loudly “-get some sleep.”
I was woken by a deep rumbling in the ground. Curious, I lifted myself to peer over my rock, and my eyes widened at the sight I saw. A stampede, a huge herd of buffalo, were pounding across the arid ground, straight towards my rock. MY rock. Not their rock. My rock. I lifted myself atop my rock, and unfolded my wings, displaying my majesty to the charging beasts. I waited until they got close enough, then shouted “HALT!”.
They didn’t stop. In fact, the lead one adjusted his course to charge head on into me. I was caught like a rabbit in the corner of a room with his foot stuck in my saliva. Unable to move or make a sound. I only watched in morbid fascination as the beasts charged heedlessly into the strongest creature in the desert. They were only a few meters from me when I snapped out of my trance and leapt into the air above them. “YOU SHALL OBEY ME, MORTALS! OR I SHALL TAKE YOUR-oh, what's that?”
As I hovered over the stampede, I felt strength returning to my body. “Why in the hive am I oooooooh, yeah, love. Hmph, guess these beasts were useful for something in the end. I didn’t realize being cut off from the hive’s reserves would affect me as much as it did...” I continued to rejuvenate with the stampede’s love, feeling my muscles strengthen and my mana reserves fill, until the last buffalo, a meter behind the rest, came underneath me.
I dropped onto it and sank my fangs into it’s thick neck, then immediately transformed into its shape. With a few powerful bounds I caught up with the herd and drank their love for their each other like it was the nectar of the gods. After I had had my fill, I dropped back into line at the back of the herd and settled into a steady lope across the desert. Judging from the the fact that the sun was barely peeking out from over the eastern mountain range, I figured it was early morning, and that our course was set NorthWest. Not a bad direction, too bad I can not make them all follow me and continue to feed me... I shall just slip away when they change direction...
I continued with the herd for the better part of the day until I slipped away. When they got a certain distance away, I felt my muscles start to ache, and the rejuvenating feeling gave way to the heat of the desert. I decided to rest for a while, and found another rock to sit under. As I approached said rock, I heard a strange rattling noise, almost like a bunch of tiny crushed bones being violently shaken inside a fleshy animal. It was a little unnerving, but I blocked it out and proceeded to sit right on top of a rattlesnake.
“YEAAAAA!” I screamed as the fangs of the angry snake sank into my butt. I jumped up and shook my hindquarters in an attempt to shake it, but it held on tight. “GetitoffGetitoffGetitoffGetitoffGetitoffGetitoffGetitoffGETITOFF!”
A few miles away, a snow white pony looked up from the fire he was sitting at at the base of the Macintosh Hills as a cry for help echoed through the valley. “What the... Could someone be lost out there...?”
As I shook my backside I suddenly felt a release and watched as a thin snake flew through the air above my head. It landed with a solid thump about five feet in front of me, so I scrambled backwards and stumbled back onto my haunches. “Stay away from me you freak of nature!” I shouted at the snake as it shook its head a refocused on me. I scuffled backwards panicky until my back hit the rock the snake originally sat under. “MY ROCK!” I yelled and summoned a small force field to encompass me and protect my rock.
“Phew... Now I can finally rest before I set out again.” I said aloud. I turned away from the harsh silver glow of my force field and closed my eyes. As I stretched out underneath the rock, I heard a rattling noise, coming from deeper underneath. My eyes snapped open. I searched for the source of the rattle, but only found it when it latched onto my front leg. As its fangs pierced my shell and broke my skin I screamed and dropped the force field. Another pair of fangs latched itself onto my rear leg. “YEAAAAAAAAA!”
A couple of miles away, a blue haired stallion heard a cry come from a small rock jutting out of the ground and, it was dancing...? “What in Celestia’s name is that pony doin’!?”
Back at my rock, I was fiercely shaking my whole being when another bolt shot through my head, causing me to fall on the ground and writhe in pain for a few moments, before the pain faded and left me with another word and strange, spindly image of a white-tanish object. Hand.
I just layed on the ground for a few minutes until I felt the demons release their death grip. Thinking they were leaving me, I sighed and tried to sleep. That is, until I felt the snake’s mouth slide over my leg like a sleeve. “THEY EAT LEGS!?!?!”
A few hundred meters away, a unicorn jumped as the seemingly dead pony in the desert jumped up and screamed something about legs. “HELLO!?” He called to the figure, “Are you okay?!”
“This could not get any worse... could it, oh, a pony! Oh Mother STOP EATING MY LEGS!” Even though I was trying to shake the snakes off, I managed to transform into a pony, I didn’t know what kind or what I looked like, but I was a pony, I thought, so the other pony would help me. Right?
When he heard the figure cry the stallion started sprinting towards it. The sight he found himself faced with at his destination became the object of man conversations in his future. A small, grey, orange-haired, earth pony mare with a flaming sword for a cutie mark was screaming and trying to shake off two rattlesnakes that had half of her right front and left back leg inside their gaping mouths. “What in tarnation is goin’ on?!”
“Getthemoffmeetheyareevil!”
The stallion quickly complied, and with a blue glow he removed the unwanted articles of clothing and threw the snakes a few hundred meters away. “Oh, thankyouthankyouthaaankyou! Those monsters were going to eat me alive! What were they?!”
The white stallion raised an eyebrow at me and looked me up and down. “Rattlesnakes.”
I scoffed, “No, thats not possible, the scouts report that rattlesnakes are small and easily avoidable. Those things were demons, sent from whatever hell you believe in, to consume me and bring about my damnation.”
The stallion’s eyebrow rose even further. “Well, either way, lets get a look at where they bitcha’.” I gulped nervously as he inspected my front leg, then my back leg, then my rump. “Well, looks like you are one miiighty lucky mare. All three of dem bites are dry.” My face must have looked as confused as I felt, because he went on to explain. “It means dat those bites don’t have any venom injected, so you aren’t gonna die from rattlesnake poison.”
“Well, I obviously knew that, because those were not rattlesnakes, they were bloodthirsty demons. Training never prepared me for anything like that...” I muttered.
“Trainin’ for what?” he prompted.
“Nothing, lets just, can we get away from the demons?”
“A’right, I’ve got a campsite a few miles over yonder, you game to make the walk ma’am?”
“Of course I am ga-ma’am?!”
“Er, sorry, do you not like bein’ called ma’am, ma’am?”
“Uhm.. No, I, it is just,” I quickly glanced back at my rump. Oh Mother, it is round and adorable, I did make myself a mare! “I’ would just prefer it, if you would, uhmm, call me by, my real name! Yeah, that is it!”
“Alright Miss, then what is it?”
“Oh, it’s S- I mean, it’s, uhmm, Shimmer!” I stuttered.
“The name’s Bluewind, pleased to meetcha’” he extended his hoof in a greeting.
“Uhmm... Likewise...?” I reached out my own ‘hoof’ and grasped his.
“Let’s get going then, I’ll cook us up some carrot stew when we get back.”
“Right, uh, onwards.” The young stallion turned East and started walking. I walked slowly behind him at first so I could get a better look at him. He was a rather muscular looking stallion, with a short and blue tail and mane, which I deduced was cut by himself with a dull razor due to it's unevenness. His snow white coat was slightly brown in spots where dirt had crusted to it. His cutie mark was an ace of spades next to a pile of red poker chips. A gambler. Contented with my analysis for now, I fell into step beside him and started thinking about the days events.
Oh Mother, what other kind of treacheries does the world hold? Demons that overpowered me, yet were somehow easily defeated by this, this, pony?! Something’s off about that. But I shall have to figure that out another time. This pony might know something about humans.
So, Mr. Bluewind. I projected my thoughts at him. Would you be so kind as to enlighten me on the existence of the creatures known as ‘Human’? He didn’t answer, so I once again projected a message. Bluewind, I asked you a question, it would be in your best interest to answ-oh wait. You can’t hear me. Not a changeling.
“You okay Shimmer?” Bluewind eyed me curiously.
“Huh, what?” I glanced up at him, surprised, “Oh, uhm, yeah, of course, I am fine. Why?”
“You were gruntin’ and starin’ at me like you was trying to see into my head,” he turned his head forward again and mumbled to himself. “Why do I always get stuck with the crazies?”
“What was that?”
“Er, nothin’ important, so how’s your legs feelin’? he asked.
“They ache and I feel like I have a bit of internal hemorrhaging, but nothing too unusual. Hey, while we are on the topic of anatomy, have you ever heard of humans, or hands?” I forced a smile and tilted my head to assert that I was asking a question.
He frowned a bit, “Well, there was that one mare who came through town that one time an’ was spoutin’ some nonsense about anthropalagy, hoomans and hands and walkin’ on two legs, that what you said we were on the topic of, right, anthropalagy?”
I scoffed, “Anatomy, not anthropalagy, you see, anatomy is the branch of science concerned with the bodily structure of chang- I mean ponies, animals, and other organisms. I have never heard of ‘Anthropalagy’, but from what you told me it seems to be about humans...” It was my turn to frown, and I did so as we walked, trying to remember any instance where I had heard the term before. I reached out my mind to the scouts to search their memories. Oh yeah... No scouts...
“Aaand we’re here!” I jumped a bit and looked up, “Welcome to Casa de Bluewind.”
This lowlife speaks Spanish? Maybe he is not as stupid as I originally presumed. I scanned ‘Casa de Bluewind’, and found myself very unimpressed. The pony’s ‘house’ consisted of a small fire with a tree stump next to it, and a green tent a few feet away. For some reason, the pony had hung his red saddlebags from a branch about ten feet off the ground.
“I know it’s not much, but I don’t stay in one place often,” Bluewind explained, “But it’s home fer me. I’ll get the stew goin’. Take a seat if you’d like.”
I checked the vicinity for demons, then obliged and seated myself upon the stump. Bluewind retrieved a rusted iron pot from his backpack and walked to a nearby stream to fill it. When he returned, I prompted him further about humans. “So, this pony you spoke of, the one who was preaching anthropalagy, what was her name?”
He frowned and began slicing a carrot into the pot of heating water. “Well, I myself never learned her name, but if you really wanna know, I’m sure one of the innkeepers over in AppleLoosa would remember, nothin’ gets past dem. What’s got you so in’erested in hoomans anyways? And might I ask what a little mare like you was doin’ in the middle of the desert without any supplies or water?”
Alright, you can do this. The scouts make up excuses to fool ponies all the time. If they can do it, a bred-for-success changeling can fool a stupid young stallion. “Well, uhm, you see,” I turned my gaze to the fire, “I’m, uhm, I heard about them... While I was... Uhm... I was...” Come on, come on, think. Think. How in the hive can scouts do this so easily? “I am, I mean, a, uh, researcher! I am a researcher! And I was... Researching! In the desert! But then those demons attacked, and they ate my supplies and tried to eat me!” I beamed up at Bluewind, proud of my storytelling prowess, until I saw the expression on his face. His eyebrow was raised so high I thought it might jump off his face and fly into the air.
“Well, good luck with your, uh, researchin’ den,” he shook his head and went back to stirring the pot. I sighed and settled into the stump, angry at myself and sad that my story was not as convincing as I had thought it to be. After a while, Bluewind stood up and retrieved two wooden bowls and two wooden spoons from his bag. He levitated the the pot and poured it into the bowls.
“Here you are, Miss Shimmer,” with a flourish he bowed and levitated the bowl into my ‘hooves’, “Eat up and regain some of your strength, it’s a bit of a hike to get to AppleLoosa, but if you’re up to it, we might be able to make it tomorrow. Of course, we’ll have to leave at dawn, you up to it?”
I eyed the stew suspiciously, then glanced up at Bluewind. He sank the spoon into the hot liquid and lifted it out with his magic. He then raised it to his mouth and slurped it up. He must’ve felt my gaze, because he looked up and lowered the spoon.
“Uhmm... Something wrong, Miss Shimmer...?” he set the bowl on the ground.
“No, it’s nothing,” I replied and cautiously dipped the spoon into the bowl of steaming stew. I slowly raised it to my mouth, and unceremoniously dumped it in. I yelped as it touched my tongue. It was warm and, well, I had never tasted anything like it. The only other liquid I had ever drunk was blood, but this was nothing like the metallic tang that seeped from fleshy creatures. I dipped my spoon for more, and this time, I caught a carrot. It was like a concentrated burst of the deliciousness that infested the liquid it floated in. I ate another spoonful, then another, and another, and then I threw the spoon aside, lifted the bowl to my lips and drank in the nectar of the gods. I felt the warmth spread to my whole body, tendrils of comfort wrapping around the punctures in my legs and rump, wearing away at my aches and pains.
“Bluewind, Master of Culinary Arts, your ‘Carrot Stew’ is worthy of the gods. For granting me such a gift, I request that you allow me to serve you, in whatever way you choose, for as long as you deem fit,” as I spoke, I slid off of the stump and bowed my head to his hooves, planting a kiss on each one.
He stared at me for a moment, his eyes wide and confused, before he giggled, then chuckled, then let out a huge guffaw and started laughing maniacally. “Oh, Shimmer you had me going there for a second,” he managed to say between gasps for air, “Master of the Culinerey Arts? Phew, oh Celestia I didn’t know you were so funny!”
“But Master, I am not trying to ‘have you going’ anywhere? I just wish to repay my debt to you, in any way you can,” I once again threw myself at his feet. “But if you deem fit, I shall not try to stop you from mocking me.”
“Oooh quit being so silly little filly!” he sat up and wiped a tear from his eye, “You don’t owe me anything, that was the most I’ve laughed in a while.”
I raised myself back up and looked at him quizzically, tilting my head, “You would give away such a sweet nectar, and ask only for a short period of amusement in return?”
“When you’re not stutterin’, you talk kinda funny Miss Shimmer,” he told me as he picked up his bowl and started eating, “No offense to you, o’ course, you’ve just been talkin’ like you a pony from the Medieval days o’ somethin’.”
“My speech patterns are irregular?” I turned away and shook my head, This won’t do, I’ll never be able to blend in with irregular speech patterns... I turned back towards the stallion, who was eating his Carrot Stew at a much slower, calmer pace. “Master Bluewind, I have one more request, please teach me the speech patterns that are considered to be regular.”
“Eh, you want me to teach you have to talk normal? Well, I suppose, why not?”
“Thank you Master,” I once again bowed down to him, “I shall forever be in your debt.”
“But not today,” he finished. “We’ve got a long walk tomorrow, and we should both rest up for it. You can sleep in the tent, I’ll be fine out here.” He walked back towards the stream and levitated the bowls, spoons, and pot behind him. “I’ll clean these out, there’s a sleepin’ bag and a pillow in the tent, have a good night, Miss Shimmer”
“Eh,” I looked around the small campsite, “Then, where shall you be resting, Master Bluewind?”
He turned back and smiled at me, “Don’t you worry bout me, I’ll figure somethin’ out.”
As he continued towards the stream, I reluctantly entered the green canvas and pushed the flaps together. However, they didn’t stay together, and rather fell limp and apart again. I once again pushed them together, and once again, they fell apart. I then noticed the metal teeth lining the sides of the flaps.
“What in the hive are these...?” I asked myself as I examined them, “Do they, go together?” I brought the teeth together and tried to slide them between each other. No good. I tried forcing them straight into each other, again to no avail. Frustrated, I grabbed them and pushed them into each other, holding them together, trying to get the teeth to fit like they must have been able to. For a good minute, I sat there, exerting all of my strength trying to seal the damn flaps of the tent. With one last grunt, I forced them together as hard as I could, only to have them slide past each other and clink against my artificial hooves.
“Damn you, tent teeth,” I muttered as I angrily fell onto my ass. Who the hive even designed those useless contraptions? Was it the Master...? No, he may be able to craft a wonderful ‘carrot stew’, but there’s no way an idiot like him would be able to create such a confusing contraption, the fool cannot even tell a rattlesnake from a demon. AH! I know how to seal it! I bounced up onto my hooves and summoned some saliva from the back of my throat. I then held the two flaps together and sealed them with a line of sticky green ooze. I let go of the flaps, and, HUZZAH! No contraption can defeat my genius! Now, time for some much needed rest...
I located what I assumed was the “sleepin’ bag” and unrolled it. There was a hole in the top, so I slid into it. Huh, wow, it’s really warm in here. When I had gone all the way in, my mane didn’t even stick out the top. Like being in a cocoon. Oh, yeah, didn’t the Master say there was a “pillow”? I wonder what that is... I slid out of the bag and located what I assumed was the “pillow”. It was a fabric bag, just like the sleepin’ one, but this one was already filled with a rectangular, squishy, soft thing. Wow, this is so soft! ...what should I do with it...? I’ll take it into the cocoon. Just slide in slowly and, aaaah, Mother, why do we not we have these things? This feels wonderful. Oh, I know! I’ll seal the cocoon with the ‘pillow’! There, nice and dark. Why in the hive would the Master give this to someone he just met? Did he sense how important I am? Did he see through my disguise?! No, no, he couldn’t have. It’s far too well crafted. There’s no logical reason to let me use the cocoon... So why the hell did he do it? What if he has a better cocoon?! One that is like being surrounded by pillows, and he is using it for himself! That worthless cur! I shall use his blood to bath! I kicked the pillow out of the cocoon hole and wiggled my way out. Wow, it’s much colder out here than I remember. I walked to the tent’s entrance and licked up my saliva. “Alright you sack of flesh, where’s the better coco-” I saw a blue figure curled up next to the fire, shivering uncontrollably. “Oh, you don’t have one. Well, that clears that up then.” I started to head back into the tent, but something stopped me. I looked back at Bluewind. He looked pathetic, curled up by the dying embers, hair on end, shaking like a demon’s tail. Huh, serves him right, ponies really are a bunch of pathetic creatures. No wonder Mother despises them so. But, he did give me that wonderful stew... Damnit, no, I will not share the cocoon with that worthless thing. I scowled at the blue stallion and shook my head. It was then that I was struck by another flash of pain. This one left no lingering word or image, just pain. “Ah, for the hive’s sake,” I muttered. Why do I keep getting these damnable flashes?
I once again entered the tent and the cocoon, sealing it with the pillow. As I huddled inside the thick fabric and cushioning, a chill raced down my spine, causing me to shiver. It is getting cold in here. I thought of Bluewind, shivering next to the dying fire, and a bright idea came to my mind.
I slid out of the cocoon and placed it on my back. Grabbing the pillow in my teeth, I carried it out to Bluewind and dropped the pillow by his head. I then layed down next to him with our backs pressing up against each other and attempted to cover us both with the cocoon. ...it is not big enough for the both of us. Unless.... HUZZAH! I grabbed the teeth on the side of the cocoon and pulled them apart, and lo and behold, they actually came apart! With my newly expanded cocoon, I covered both myself and Bluewind, and, because the ground was kind of hard, placed the soft, squishy pillow underneath our heads. My genius knows no bounds, using the pony as a source of heat. Mother might as well give me the crown now. Now, now I can finally sleep. Well, I could sleep, if this oaf would quit shivering... Ah, I know! I rolled over and wrapped my legs around his body. After a few moments, Bluewind’s body relaxed, and his hair shivering stopped. Ah, finally, this is even more comfortable, AND the fool stopped his shivering!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mother, when do you think Silver is going to come back?
Hopefully never.
Why do you not wish for Brother to return?
He deceived me before he left. When we joined, it felt like something was hidden from me. Also, when we were sparring, he lost control of his drones and complained about pain, somethings off with him, might be going feral.
But Brother cannot go feral! You hatched him to be perfect.
Well apparently I fucked up. Which is why this egg I just laid will replace him, watch it while I go kill something, I’m bored.
Yes, Mother.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the foot of the Macintosh Hills, a white unicorn stirred from his sleep. Feeling the warm limbs wrapping around his torso, he pulled them closer and snuggled into the warm body behind him. Then, suddenly he froze, and his pale face turned a bright shade of red. Very delicately, he started sliding out of the limbs embrace, using his magic to hold them in place. When he was free, he floated the limbs to their owner and set them down gently. The changeling disguised as a young mare shifted and grabbed the sleeping bag, pulling it around her as she rolled over. He smiled at the sleeping figure, then turned and set off to find something to eat.
Two things woke me up that morning. The first, a pleasant sizzling noise, similar to that of a squirrel’s boiling eyes before they explode. The second, the absence of my heat generator, creating a slight drop in temperature. I blinked my eyes open and spread my limbs to loosen the cocoon around me.
“Why, uhm, good mornin’ Miss Shimmer,” Bluewind glanced at her, then fixed his gaze on the sizzling eggs and pretended to concentrate on them, “I, I trust you slept well?”
As I stood up I stretched my legs and bent my neck with a satisfying crack. Staying disguised all the time really makes your exoskeleton stiff, so loosening the joints is recommended. I learned that from the scouts. “Yeah, your body is warm. I suppose I should thank you for allowing me to borrow it.”
Bluewind’s face burnt bright red, “Well, uhm... You’re welcome, I suppose? Miss Shimmer?”
“Yes, yes, apology accepted,” Bluewind’s eyebrows furrowed while I nodded curtly at the rock with sizzling white matter over the fire. “What are you doing?”
He shook his head and muttered to himself, “Jus’ when you think she couldn’t get any weirder...” He glanced up at me staring expectantly at him. “Oh, I found a hawk nest laying on the ground with a few eggs in it. We got lucky, the cracked ones were fresh, so I put the live ones back up in the tree and started cookin’ ‘em up! Trust me, if you liked that stew so much, you’ll probably be a fan of this.”
“This tastes like stew?!” I exclaimed excitedly and jumped up to stare at the solidifying egg whites, “How much longer until I can eat it?!”
“Well, it doesn’t taste like stew, but it’s still a nice flavor, and does now work?” he asked me.
“Does blood taste like iron?”
Bluewind stared blankly at me for a moment, “Well, now that you mention it, I reckon it sorta does taste like metal!” With that, he used his magic to bring his saddlebags down from the tree and pull out a wooden plate and two forks while I made myself comfortable in front of the tree stump “Now, I only got one plate, so I hope you don’t mind sharing.”
“Just put food in my mouth and I’m happy,” I motioned with my head at the eggs beginning to brown on the edges. Bluewind smiled and shook his head as he used his magic to lift the eggs off of the stone and onto the plate, then the plate onto the stump. He set a fork down in front of me and I immediately snatched it up in my ‘hoove’. “Now, how do I eat this one?”
“Like this,” he picked up his own fork. “What you wanna do is first cut the piece you want to eat into a bite sized section, like so, then stab it with the fork and use the fork to bring it up to your mouth, an’ there yuh go.” He swallowed the part of the egg he demonstrated with. “Bon appetite!”
I quickly followed his example, using the fork sideways to saw a large portion of the egg off. Once it was separated, I stabbed the plate with the fork. With a loud crack, the wooden plate splintered like bone and split where my fork pierced it.
Bluewind’s eyes widened as he took in the destruction my fork and I had caused. “Well, I guess I’ve got two plates now...” He then looked back up at me and burst into laughter. I was sitting there with a fork in my mouth and a giant piece of egg white hangout out of it. Frustrated, I tried to pull more of the egg into my mouth using my teeth, to no avail.
“How do ah ea’ ‘is peis sas angin’ ou’?” I asked as well as I could without losing the egg.
“Haha, well, for one, you don’ cut such big pieces in the first place, and, do you mind?” his horn lit up with a blue aura. I shook my head. “Just gonna grab these pieces that are hangin’.” The eggs that were hanging out of my mouth were surrounded by the blue aura and lifted off of my chin, however, I didn’t let them get far. Not wanting to lose any of the warm, fluffy, deliciousness, I jumped up and snatched the eggs out of the air, chewed them, swallowed, and began working on cutting another, bigger, piece.
“Bluewind, that was, that was, your skill when it comes to crafting food is, it’s godlike! That’s what it is! How are you not living in a lavish home with ponies waiting on your beck and call and catering to your every whim just to get a taste of such, such exquisite flavors!?” I sat back onto the ground and patted my now full belly.
“Well, actually Shimmer, compared to most ponies I’m not even good at cookin’,” he explained, “If you think this tastes good, you should try some of the food they got down in Canterlot. People there eat like Kings every meal, and they say that the streets are actually paved with gold!”
“Wow that’s- completely illogical, and really incredibly moronic. amazing.” I said, being reminded of how incredibly stupid ponies really are, even if they can cook.
“Well, we should get going, I’ll pack up camp, then we’ll head outta here and get you to a real restaurant,” Bluewind carried the broken plate and forks to the stream to wash them Blast it, that food may taste good but it does not sustain me. I need to get the emotional side of him to come out if I wanna make the trip. I went to say something to him, then realized he was a good 50 feet away and galloped over to talk to him.
Alright, time to feed me pony. Let’s see... how should I approach the topic without it being too obvious and giving away my disguise...? I could just ask him if he loves anything, that’s not too obvious, or at least, not for this moronic chunk of flesh. “So, uhm... Mr. Bluewind, is there, ah... any... any... ...I have to say it... anypony that you, uhmm... love?” Haha, this should get him to feed me.
“Well... I mean, I love my parents, but if you’re talkin’ bout mares and the like, I... Well, to put it simply, I'm no good for anypony. I used to gamble, a lot, hence my cutie mark. Every time I tried to get myself somepony special to be with, I either lost all my money and she wouldn't have me, or debt collectors would come lookin' for me. I dunno, I guess I never really actually tried to stop them from leavin'. I just let 'em go cuz I didn't want to stop them... Bit silly, eh? Here I am complainin' about love, when I never actually fought for it...” Bluewind stared down at the water flowing lazily past.
Blast it... I got a bit from his parents, but not enough... I should prompt him further about th-
“But I said enough bout me, how bout you, Miss Shimmer? Do you love anypony?”
It took me a moment to process then question, but then I had to stop myself from scoffing. “I do not love.”
Bluewind looked almost as though I had hit him with the way he recoiled. “Don’t love?”
“What it sounds like. Love is pointless and gets in the way of, well, everything. Now to insure he does not suspect me. You ask me, I would tell you the only thing love does is feed those rotten changelings.” Perfect, insulting the changeling as a species will make him dismiss any suspicions that arrive. I hope.
“Oh, I see.” The stallion looked downcast as he finished washing and drying the plates.
Wait, no, could he, could he really? I turned away from Bluewind and stifled a snicker. Could this pony, really have been tricked by my disguise so much as to become emotionally attached to a pony that does not exist?! I was getting further from Bluewind, so I let myself laugh a bit under my breathe. These ponies are even more pathetic and weak-minded than Mother made me to believe! I arrived at the campsite and fell on the ground, doing my best to keep from laughing loud enough for the pony to hear. I grabbed my sides as a single tear fell down my face and I tried to catch my breath. Get it out. Get it out. Get it out. I only had a few moments until Bluewind would turn around and notice my strange behavior, but I managed to calm down enough to get up and walk to the other edge of the site. Oh, I can not wait to tell Mother and Sister about this pathetic pony. But first, since it is just me and him, why should I not have a little ‘fun’ with him?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“All right then ma’am, you ready to head out?” Bluewind asked me. I looked at him for the first time since I had unintentionally rejected him. I could still see the disappointment in his eyes, but also that he was doing a pretty good job of trying to hide it. I tinted the skin on my cheeks pink to simulate blushing and nodded shyly. Bluewind hoisted the saddlebags, collapsed tent, sleeping bag, and pillow onto his back. “Then let’s get goin’, it’s a long hike.”
We set off through the woods, walking a few feet apart. I stared at him while we walked, so that anytime he looked back at me, I could ‘blush’ again and quickly turn my head away. This continued for a while until I finally broke the silence with a question.
“Can you teach me how to speak properly now, Bluewind?” I drifted over to walk closer to him. “You gave me your word that you would while we made our way to Apple Loosa.”
“Right, uhm... Let’s see,” he rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “Well, when I first found you, you were stutterin’ up a storm. Was that just nervousness from the snake incident, or what?”
“Oh, yeah... I guess you could say it was the snakes...” I looked down and tinted my skin more extremely.
“Alright, well, then I guess all that leaves is makin’ you talk less fancily,” he started, “Hmmm... Never given a grammar lesson before, but I guess the first thing I’d say to do is learn some slang!”
“Slang?”
“You know, expressions and that kinda stuff?”
“Like the saying You only live once? The one that, according to my sc- I mean research, some ponies yell before doing incredibly ridiculous life threatening things for cheap thrills?”
Bluewind wasn’t even fazed by my sudden strange outburst this time, “Well, sure, I guess that works. I meant more, like, what did my ol’ school teacher call it...? Conjugators? Yeah, I think that’s it.”
“Conjugators?”
“Like, saying don’t instead of do not, can’t instead of can not, I’m instead of I am, normally if it sounds right it works..”
“Don’t say do not then?”
“Exactly! You’re (there’s another one) gettin’ it! Also, tone down your words. Less big ones, more small ones, so you don’t confuse ponies. Also, try and sound more comfortable with your words. You sound a bit like you’re talkin’ to a Queen of some country.” He has no idea of the irony of that statement...
“So, use don’t, won’t, small words, and speak like I would to an equal?” Which none of the ponies I shall be talking to will be.
“Yeah, basically, any more questions?”
“Just one. How would I say, ‘I’m sorry for accidentally refusing your romantic movements. I’m just wary of becoming romantically involved with other ponies due to the fact that my last romantic encounter ended -I made my voice crack- horribly, horribly wrong and left me with this scar’?” I brushed my mane back to reveal a scar on my neck I had crafted earlier in the morning.
Bluewind looked shocked as I forced a single tear out of my eyes. “I’m just, so scared...” I threw myself into him chest, the weight of his gear imbalanced him, making it entirely too easy to knock him over. I dug my face into his chest and forced away a smile, “He said he loved me, then, then, then he-he tried to... he was with her... and he hit me... and-and then he tried to kill me...” I started forcing tears out of my eyes at a steady pace and snuggled into his chest.
“Shhh, it’s okay now. He’s gone, everything’s okay,” Bluewind started stroking my mane. “Everything’s okay now.”
HAHAHA! This was FAR too easy! A few tears and sad story and he melts in my grasp. I can feel the love coming directly to me, right now it is more than likely a fatherly, protective love, but I shall change that soon. Mother, this fool was stupid and easy, but smarter ponies cannot be that much harder. “Without formal training”, who nee- “AAAAGH!” I cried as a bolt ripped through my mind.
“Shhhh, shhhh, nothing’s going to hurt you, you’re safe with me,” Bluewind wrapped his legs tighter around my now not completely fakely sobbing form. As I buried my face deeper into his chest, I tried to pull my thoughts together again. Why the hive, my question is, does this pony feel so obligated to comfort me? It can’t just be my seduction, can it? And why do I feel, happy...? That he is comforting me? No, it’s not happiness, it cannot be. It is just these headaches, they are messing with my emotions. And what the hive is that shiny thing I see in my head? I sighed inwardly. It is probably a human thing. I guess the only thing I can do is continue my act and our journey to Applewhateverthehiveitwas.
I pulled my face out of his chest and looked up at Bluewind. He was watching me, lovingly, and smiled down at me. “Th-th-thank you, Bluewind... I’m just a bit, rattled up, from well, I don’t want to talk about it right now.” I sniffled and wiped the tears from my face. “Let’s just get to Applewherever...”
“Sure thing Shimmer,” Bluewind let go of me and helped me stand up. He picked up his bags and smiled at me before starting back up the path. I fell into step behind him so I could smirk without his noticing. All too easy.
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Let's see if le standards are as high as mine
What I liked
-The 9,000 words alone tell me that you've taken the time to put work into your first story. That's exceptional compared to the readers that feel okay with 300 word chapters so that's a thumbs up for me.
-Your grammar and your spelling are good. I'm sure that there are a few spots that need touching up, but its checked out okay.
-You've made a slight mary sue, but you're trying to make a believable one and I appreciate it.
what I disliked
-Royals don't say things like fuck off. Try and make them sound more formal. Instead of "fuck off' try "take your leave." or "get out of my sight" . I want to read about a changeling prince with changeling prince dialogue, not a prince with the dialogue of a teenager.
-Your character still is kind of a mary sue.
-I don't really understand the whole point of introducing the character as a human in the first place. It was kind of......Nonsensical.
Jesus Christ man, learn to write a description. The short desc is too much parenthesis, and this one just keeps going
2815896 I've seen longer make it to the featured list. Is it really a big deal?
2815913 it's annoying, especially on a phone, to scroll all the way through that (I have OCD, so my mind keeps telling me that there might be something crucial at the end)
2815942YEAH!? YEAH!? WELL YOUR UPSIDE DOWN AVATAR MAKES ME A LITTLE DIZZY EVERYTIME I SEE IT!
2815942>>2815947
WELL I LIKE CHEESE AND BISCUITS, SO WHAT!?
2815967 I like eggs with toast. It's quite delectable. Also le new author needs a few critiques so you should probably comment on le story and not delicious foods.
i.imgur.com/9YNUcwL.jpg
2815978 why not?
2815980
i.imgur.com/epndX9j.jpg
2815990 so where is the kebab?
2815947 I'll have you know a friend of mine asked me to do that. Why he asked, I have no idea.
2815967 I like gravy with my toast, preferably white gravy.
2816003 Crazy kids
Look at this author trying to get me to desperately read his fic. Teh lolz. Anyways, nice job as you certainly made this interesting to say the least. Although at this point... why does being a human have anything to do with the story, besides it being the driving plot device? I mean couldn't this had been a better story by it just being the queen trying to find a magical way to fuck the whatever over because she is evil only to find out about hummility and eventually accept who she is, or would that be too obvious?
i actually liked this
... i love the funny way silver relates with things in the outside world with gore and such 
i enjoyed this chapter very much and look forward to more
your gonna make more right? if not i might have to stick a few of those *Demons* under your pillow
2815975
I'll comment on all the delicious foods I want to. Fish fingers and custard, pears, liverwurst, cum, home made popcorn. fresh cheese pizza....I'm blanking at the moment.
2816422 Oh Oh my turn! Pizza, spaghetti, tea with a few drops of
cumsugar, pancakes, tacos, and nachos covered incumcheeseFEATURED WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW
Congrats new guy 
2816497
The goatsnake burger from Kumas Korner....
valkyrie22.com/kumasdeliciousness/food/GOATSNAKE2.jpg
2816506 melbournepizzadelivery.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/Worlds-Largest-Pizza.jpg Two of these and an order of hot wings
2816512
Oh yeah, that would be an awesome midafternoon snack.
I can't really add anything that hasn't been noted in the comments already. It's an excellent first story.
I should suggest that you revise your description so it's less meta. The description, or at least the first part of it, should be solely about the plot of the story. Readers will find it less distracting and more to the point.
Ok, first of all. Holy crap, people read this, and liked it?! Thanks to anyone who did read it, even if you didn't like it, although, I should probably apologize in that case...
2815851
Wow, thanks, that's actually really helpful (the human thing does actually relate to the story, it's just that,well, I wrote this chapter with a LOT of stuff planned in the future). And even though I have a bunch thought out in my head for the later parts of the story, this was the product of 48 hours with no sleep, so yeah... excuses. Also I ramble when I talk to people over text. The Mary Sue, thanks for pointing that out. I'm going to do my best to get rid of that.
2815896
Eh, as you can see from ^That wall of text, I ramble.
2815967
I leik cheez n biscuis two!
2815990
...wut?
2816095
Not a bad idea, like I said though, in the grand scheme of things, it comes around.
2816301
HOLY SHIT! Someone who wants another chapter?! Hell yeah! And don't worry, I've already written the first word of the second chapter!
2816503
WAIT WHAT THE FUCK!? This was featured?! Wow, thanks again to everyone who read and told me how I fucked up!
2816877
Yeah, it was about my 49th hour of waking when I wrote the description, and I had to completely revise it because the mods said no swearing. But yeah, looking at it now I probably wouldn't click that monstrosity of a description.
Once again thanks to everyone who read and commented. Even though thanks to you guys (speciifically fiddlesticks) I have to write another, freakin', chapter. But in all seriousness, I need to learn to shut up. Thanks!
2817430 It's still being featured. Haven't you seen it in the list yet?
2817443
EEEHEEEEEEEEEEH! To the homepage I go!
14 thumbs up and only one thumb down so far
that should tell you something right there
2817585
Thanks so much man, woman, pony, whatevertheheckyouare. It really does mean a lot.
2817589 your welcome
cant wait till silver meets a certain human obsessed pony that resides in ponyville
oh the trouble that will ensue... i just cant wait
2817660
2817430 I actually didn't read it,
the in your face short desc got me here on my phone, and I just did a little bit of nit picking.
2817941
Oh, okay. Thanks.
I like this so far. and yes, for the most part, I am sane.
2818265
Hahah sweet, god, this is so awesome, I leave and come back and more people read it and commented. Never expected this much positive feedback. And you sure?
2818375 I question my sanity at times, but yeah, I'm good for now. would you mind checking out my story?
2819220
But yeah, I'll definitely check it out. We new guys gotta stick together, eh?
Though I'm not a fan of self promotion, I don't see why not, I'll just OH GOD SO MANY CHAPTERS! Haha, yeah. I'll read it in a bit, I'm in the middle of writing the next chapter for this. Haha I expected just a few chapters, then BAM, like, 26.
2819235 yeah. sorry bout that, I just like to keep my chapters short, around 1,000 words. but thanks, I always enjoy seeing what others think.
2817986 your welcome, I may read it later though
I'm totally not stalking this story...
naaahhh that would be weird and freaky
2830612
Hahah, it's okay, I don't mind. Next chapter is in the works, I'm about 4,000 words in.