Twilight mused to herself. If her jobs were to help Spike and Carrot Top… how would she do that, exactly? She didn’t know where Carrot Top was… and while Spike was pretty easy to spot, he was definitely not going to be an easy fix.
So she mused.
Spike turning gigantic again... it must have something to do with Trixie’s potion, she mused. Spike learned his lesson about greed the last time. I know how seriously he thinks about it. I know he wouldn’t do it again. And I sent him off to investigate Trixie's wagon. So, yeah, it must have something to do with Trixie’s potion. I guess a want-it-need-it potion must affect dragons differently than ponies… but wait! If it is Trixie’s potion… she based that off of my spell! All I have to do is figure how to counter the effects of the spell directly, and regardless of how the magic potion is expressed symptomatically... the effects should stop! Yes! Cut it off at the source! And there’s only one way to figure out how to counter a spell infusion: research!
“To the library!” Twilight said to nopony in particular, waving a hoof in the air and dashing off down the hill.
. . .
Trixie ran. She didn't know where she was. She didn't know where she was going. She didn't know what would happen to her when they caught her. She just knew she had to keep running.
She also knew she couldn't run much longer.
Come on… one hoof in front of the other! Think! Think! she thought to herself.
. . .
BONK!
“OW! What the-” said Celestia, as an object suddenly collided with her face. She rubbed her nose in pain, her eyes shut tight.
“Oof! Sorry! My bad!” said an apologetic, ditzy voice from somewhere in front of Celestia's smarting snout.
It had been a long night. Celestia was tired. She wanted to go back to her bed, and her wonderful dreams. Discord had gotten under her skin. She hated seeing bad nights like this one happen to her student. A “ninja” had just tried to “assassinate” her. Tomorrow there would be the Press. And the Paperwork (she always capitalized those words). The whole town was falling apart and her patience was, understandably, strained.
“WHOEVER YOU ARE, I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS MORONIC DISPLAY!” roared Celestia, her voice booming with magical augmentation. She cracked her eyes open against the throbbing pain of her nose.
Derpy Hooves looked back at her with one of her eyes. The other one was downcast. Tears brimmed in both of them. Her lip quivered. Suddenly, everything felt frozen. Pinkie Pie gasped loudly. "Whoa," said Bon-Bon.
Oh dear, thought Celestia.
Derpy didn’t bawl. She was made of sterner stuff. But she did cry. It was a strangely quiet sight for how much it hurt Celestia's heart, and one made all the worse as Bon-Bon, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Big Macintosh, and Cheerilee looked on with shocked, dumbstruck expressions on their faces. “I’m-I'm sorry, your highness,” she replied, through soft sobs. Her voice was almost a whisper. It had been a long night for Derpy, too.
SPIT! Celestia swore to herself. You know better than this! Letting yourself get annoyed! Yelling at ponies! What is wrong with you?!
After a moment’s consideration, Celestia assumed a chagrined smile, full of the warmth and honesty that her subject deserved. Putting her wing softly around the little gray pegasus, she drew her into a kindly hug. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t your fault,” she said gently. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that. It’s just been a bad evening for me. For everypony. You understand, don't you?”
Derpy looked up into the Princess’s eyes and nodded, sniffling. Then, taking Celestia a bit by surprise, fiercely returned the hug by throwing her forehooves around Celestia’s shoulders. The Princess’s smile deepened almost imperceptibly, too practiced to break into the big, goofy, relieved grin she really felt.
“Oh! Oh my… did I miss something?” somepony cooed, softly and groggily.
All eyes turned to Fluttershy, who stared back at them all. They looked upside down in her eyes, as she was laying on her back in the road. She blinked in confusion, and an embarrassed flush was even slightly visible in the space between the bottom of her eyes and the top of the ninja facemask eyehole. “I- I’m awake...” she squeaked, not sure what else to say, and trying to shrink further into her outfit as everypony stared at her.
“Oh!” Derpy said suddenly. “Oh! My goodness! Please! Come with me, everypony! The girls need help!”
Somehow, despite the lack of specificity of the word “girls,” Applejack’s heart leapt into her throat. Somehow, she knew exactly which girls. “Which way?!” she shouted.
. . .
"MARRY ME!" Raindrops screamed, landing on Trixie's back and wrapping her forehooves around her.
Trixie growled, "You don't deserve Trixie!" and tried to knock the pegasus off of her with another thwack of telekinesis, but her horn was as tired as the rest of her, and nothing happened.
"Get off of Trixie!"she shouted, managing to get the pegasus loose by bucking her off.
She had lost ground on the mob, though... she was running out of options. She needed some sort of plan. And soon.
Rounding a corner at top speed, Trixie's hooves skidded on the cobbles like a racing cart.
And there, in front of her, was Twilight's library tree.
Twilight Sparkle!
She could hear the mob behind her, so very close! Could she make it?
Of course I can make it! I am the Great and Powerful Trixie! she thought to herself, feeling her muzzle crack into a confident smile. It felt good to wear the smile again. She felt her energy redouble, and her hoofbeats came faster and surer.
. . .
"Hmm," Discord mused, Twilight-style. He rubbed his chin with a clawed hand in thought.
ROOOOOOOAAAAAR! Spike thundered again.
"Yes, yes, you've made your point," Discord said without turning to look at the fifty meter dragon baring its teeth at him. His tone was one of mild annoyance. He waved his other claw in a dismissive gesture. "Where was I? Oh yes: hmm."
Spike blinked in confusion. Snake thing small. Small was food. Food should be scared! Confusing!
"I don't know why my magic isn't working, but I suppose that's part of the fun, isn't it? If you can't beat 'em... join 'em! ...And then beat 'em!"
And with a snap of his fingers, Discord began to grow, his muscles stretching and inflating like balloons under his skin. With a mighty chuckle, Discord reared up on his hind legs to an impressive fifty-five meter height, his arms bulging like bodybuilder parodies.
Spike confused!
Discord cracked his knuckles, grinning madly. “Haven’t had to do this in a while!”
. . .
The gang could not keep up with Celestia, Rainbow Dash, Big Macintosh, or Applejack, but they ran as fast as they could. Those four had waited just, just long enough for Derpy to give them the directions, and then shot off at top speed.
Pinkie, Fluttershy, Bon-Bon, Cheerilee, and Derpy still ran (and flew) as fast as they could after them, but of course they couldn't compete with that kind of speed. Well, possibly Pinkie Pie could, but she was a bit distracted. It was difficult for her, you see, to take her eyes off the sight of the giant dragon and giant Discord grappling each other, looming above the town.
"...Daikaijū!" Pinkie said, her mouth dropping open.
Kaiju!
Holy hells, how have I not found this before? Where have you been hiding? Seriously, this is the best thing ever - I mean, I read teh entire thing at work when I was supposed to work and stuff.
This is great!
Short, but action-packed. Kaiju battle?
Celestia making Derpy cry?
Oh, and Twilight better research that spell very, very quickly before Trixie shows up, or my favorite ship comes into port.
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SKREEEEE-OOOOOONNNNK!
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D'awww thanks!
(I wrote most of it when I was supposed to be working and stuff. Tell no one!)
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Kaiju battle!
Celestia making Derpy cry!
...No pressure, Twi. No pressure.
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You do work?
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Shut up! You'll get us all fired!
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Sssssssssssssseeeeeecreeeeeeeeeeeetssssssssss
Aight, now that I'm not at work ( 4637286 ) I can sit down and talk more.
Except there's a LOT to talk about so I'll give you some highlights instead. The asides to the audience - great! Perfect timing on those. The slapstick, wonderfully done. A great amount of description while still being fluid enough for the reader interpretation to kick in. The imagery, pretty dang good (I can't think of what I'd change but just marking everything as 'excellent' on the sheet makes it seem like I wasn't trying - I mean seriously. Applejack riding a bear-shark? How much better can it be?)
This isn't 'high-brow' comedy but there is wit there in abundance. It's not dumb comedy (I don't think I've seen a toilet joke yet) but it's accessible. It's a bit rough and on the 'conversational' side of things rather than professional but I think that adds to the overall charm.
One of the things I was really, really curious about was how you'd tie the second part of the first chapter into everything. I couldn't see how it would all get related. Now, however, I see.
And it is glorious.
She made Derpy cry.
That's, like, a mortal sin. There's a special hell for ponies who do that, along with child molesters and people who talk at the theater.
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Thanks! It means a lot to me to hear stuff like that! Stuff like that gives me that extra "push" to finish the chapter when I get stuck. It is my fuel! Don't worry, I'll work hard to actually earn the praise though, promise!
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img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140512124422/mlp/images/7/79/Celestia_transported_to_Tartarus_S4E26.png
Celestia made Derpy cry
Almost as bad as making Fluttershy cry.
Missed opportunity to make it specifically a King Kong!Discord vs Godzilla!Spike battle.