The Friendship Letter Can Probably Wait, Trixie
Trixie’s hooves were slipping, and her imagination was beginning to contemplate the horrible consequences of her falling into the pile of ponies and animals below her. This did little to ease her mind, but much to strengthen her grip.
"Well, this is just great," Trixie huffed aloud to herself, her voice a little hoarse from yelling for help all night.
"This is all your fault, Twilight Sparkle," she said, falling back on habitual blameshifting. "This would have never happened if Trixie had never come here in the first place! 'Oo! Trixie! You can do anything!' the ponies would have said anywhere else, 'You are so talented and dazzling!' but no! Trixie had to come to Ponyville! I hate this place!”
Of course, Twilight Sparkle had had nothing to do with the Ursa incident, save for solving it and making me look incompetent by comparison, a small part of Trixie's mind thought traitorously. And of course, it wasn’t, strictly speaking, Twilight’s fault that after that I was laughed out of town after town, and was forced to take that gruelling job on that rock farm. And sure, perhaps I reacted a little bit badly when I used my savings to buy a highly illegal, highly powerful dark artifact for the sole purpose of revenge on someone who technically hadn’t wronged me, and maybe the actions I took while possessed by said artifact had been… shall we say… informed by it, rather than strictly caused by it, and maybe Twilight still forgave me… and okay maybe I took advantage of that to make the potion that directly caused this, but... still... this is all Twilight Sparkle's fault... somehow.
"Wow," Trixie said aloud to herself, "I suck."
"Suck, you do not! I love you, a lot!" said Zecora.
"Oh, quiet, you!" Trixie said back, annoyed. Then, after a moment of thought, and then another second to swat away a romantic flamingo, she said, her voice serious, "Zecora?"
"You have my ear, my dear!" said the zebra, grinning smugly at the other ponies around her.
"I know you're under this crazy spell right now, and I'm not sure if the real you can hear what I'm saying, or if we ever get this fixed, if you'll remember what I'm saying, but there's something I have to tell you," Trixie said, sounding a little sad.
“If you want to declare your love, there is no need, my dove!” Zecora called back, grinning obliviously.
Trixie ignored her, and pressed on, “I need to tell you that you were right all along. I haven’t changed at all. I don’t know that I ever will.”
“You are perfect as you are! A white-blue flower, clad in stars!” Zecora said, still seemingly completely missing the message.
“I can only promise you that, if I get out of this, you won’t have to worry about me anymore. I promise you that I’m going to leave Ponyville, and go as far away as I can, and never come back.”
Zecora’s eyes went wide, and her pupils shrunk to pinpricks, “Trixie, you cannot leave me! You and I were meant to be!”
Trixie found herself laughing out loud, a little bitterly. “The real Zecora would have been glad to see me go!” then, her face turned contemplative again. “I’m sorry to have done this to you, Zecora. I’m sorry to all of you.”
“HAVE MY BABIES!” screamed Mayor Mare, apropos of nothing.
Trixie blinked. “Biology doesn’t work like that, mayor,” she said, then continued. “I thought I needed this potion, because nopony would give my show a chance anymore. I thought I needed to force ponies to like me enough to at least give me a fair chance. I was wrong. What I need is a fresh start. A clean slate. If I’m going to change who I am, then I can’t do it here. And I’m sorry to all of you for making this awful mistake.”
“Then I won’t let you leave, precious one,” said Zecora, sinisterly, “I’ll keep you close forever, what fun!”
Trixie rolled her eyes, casually swatting away Raindrops again as she did so. “I hope you’re wrong about… bear-shark,” Trixie said, her eyes now fixed behind Zecora.
“Bear-shark? Is this a lark?” Zecora said, turning.
Muscling its way through the crowd of ponies was indeed a bear-shark, its black eyes fixed lovingly on the pony atop the flagpole, and its tongue hanging out of its mouth. This was alarming, not least of which because Trixie was reasonably sure that shark tongues could not do this, nor could shark eyes have any kind of look remotely resembling “lovingly.” Yet here it was.
“Ho boy,” said Trixie, frowning.
The ponies wrestled with the bear-shark fanatically, protecting their positions close to the flagpole, but were no match for the strength of the monster, who more or less just walked casually through the crowd.
Zecora set her four hooves firmly, turning to face the bear-shark, and snorting aggressively. “Back! Ill-tempered beast! Trixie is my love, not some predator feast!”
Trixie was not feeling very good about how this situation was playing out. This is, I think we can agree, understandable.
Zecora charged, meeting the bear-shark in epic battle. Which consisted mostly of the bear-shark casually brushing the zebra aside and walking past her to the flagpole. The zebra’s assaults on the beast were largely ignored.
“Fear not, my maiden fair, your knight Zecora will slay this foul demon bear!” brave words, Zecora, but she was having no success keeping the monster from grabbing ahold of the flagpole and starting to climb.
The flagpole bent dramatically under this new weight. “Whoa!” said Trixie, nearly losing her grip. “I really hate bears!” she cried in frustration, as the bear-shark climbed ever closer, and the flagpole bent ever more.
Despite being pelted with all manner of small rocks, hats, empty soda cans, and crumpled love letters from the angry mob below, the monster remained unswayed in its single-minded pursuit of the object of its affections. It had reached the halfway point of the flagpole now, and the top had bent all the way over, leaving Trixie clinging just a hoof’s-length out of the reach of the crowd below.
Closer and closer the bear-shark crawled. Now only a bear arm’s length away, and with Trixie’s forehooves clinging to the top of the flagpole and her hind hooves resting on the faces of some disturbingly willing ponies below, Trixie pondered her options.
She sighed. "I'm going to regret this," she said, and let go.
A lot of things happened at once.
Perhaps the most noticeable was the flagpole straightening immediately, and launching the bear-shark like a catapult. If one squinted in the direction the beast was launched, one might just be able to make out a shape like some kind of giant flying potato.
The second most noticeable was the frantic swarm, like ants over a crumb, of ponies that rushed at Trixie as she fell into the crowd, followed a moment later by a pale blue shield bubble appearing and expanding outward, buying Trixie a precious few seconds to run.
Which she did.
Oh, did she ever run.
The stampede of hoofbeats following her was thunderous. She didn’t look back.
. . .
“Where is everypony?” said Celestia, arriving at the flagpole to find the area deserted.
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Discord is pleased.
Run, Trixie! Run like the wind! I wonder how long 'Repentant Trixie' will last.
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Applejack, less so.
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And... it'll probably last until she doesn't have to face the consequences of her actions anymore, huh?
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Luna is a great character for when you want to write a totally random, just slightly bizarre scene.
Revelations come at the worst time. Particularly when bearsharks are on the prowl.
Trixie should make reservations for the moon. No bears there last I checked. Just nightmare creatures. Simple.
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Yes, but so close to all of those bear constellations...
Well, that was an abrupt perspective change. Here I was, all prepped by those first three words to have syntax rules delightfully murdered by our friendly narrator over here, but then it jerked back to third personish and wrecked itself.
Options?
Arrgh. I can't fix it. Both of these are only slightly less wrong. Mph. #NeedsRevison
Even when Celestia actually shows up to do something for once, she still shows up too late. There's a joke here.
Restart? Begin anew?
Nah, why mess with perfection?
Just get Twilight to solve your problem and your Golden.
Right?