2828398 Thank you! That was so nice to read I'm glad this story is so well received, and extra glad you like the characters. When I write, my favorite thing is characterization, and I really like how Vinyl and Octavi turned out, character wise... and the quirky little side ones too. It's great to see others who find them endearing as well

2831780 Hehe... i.imgur.com/JjZoguv.jpg

Vinyl! I swear if she is doing something by Luna I will tan her hide.. also good chapter its really awesome :)

Oooohhh, this is getting good

2832688 Dayum.
Another excellent chapter.

Splendid.

This truly is a good story, as well as all your other stories. Glad to see an update, very good so far on leading up to what happens in the first chapter. Can't wait for more!

I think you should leave, Laureate.

Previously on The Bold and the Beautiful...

Sorry, I really like this story, but I think that specific part was a little cheesy.

Just when I need a pick me up you supply the octi-scratch fix I've been needing...
And a extremely well written one at that...
I especially like their interaction around the ring and vinyl being insecure...
So adorable...

Did find the exchange regarding the password slightly confusing despite reading it a few times...
Might just be the sudden change in subject that throws me for a curb...

Nicely done though, the bad greatly outweighing the confusing ;:)
Can't wait for the next chapter :D

I've got a baaaaaaaad feeling about this

2833937 Well if The Bold and the Beautiful is about fancy snob people then that dialogue accomplished what I wanted it to Wealthy folks talk differently in MLP:Fim, like Fancy Pants and his buddies, and the difference is a bit more drastic than what I would expect in reality. Octavia talks like them when around them, thus the cheese...

2834016 Thanks! Sorry though if that portion was unclear, not sure which parts were confusing, or else I'd try to explain it... or edit something if it was worded oddly.

2834310
ask and you shall receive ;)

She was holding the ring in her other hand, and Octavia took it back from her as her brief little performance came to a close.

“So, can you tell me the password for this?”

right there... it throws me for a loop every single time i read it :)
because my mind goes "password for a ring??" and then the following sentence i assume is the inscription in the ring, not the password for her phone??

2836314 Oh, I see! Vinyl had made the password locking her phone, then the ring came up in their conversation, and Octavia was just like... whatevs, gimme the password for my phone. Vinyl made the password the same as the inscription on the ring, being unexpectedly sentimental...

I see how that could be confusing though, the way it just changed rather abruptly... sorry about that But does it make sense now?

2837628

Now it makes perfect sense :)
And I realize something else...
Because there is a lot of talking in that scene without it being clear who is saying what I actually thought Vinyl was the one asking for the password (to save the changes to the name or some such) of cause I appear to be the only one with this problem so might just be I was sleepy when I first read it and my initial misunderstanding stuck with me through the rereading...
So no expectations for any slight editing there though it would be easy to add:
"What's the password??" Octavia asked in a vexed tone
Or something like that :)
But now that I get it I guess it doesn't matter all that much to me as before :P
Might help others though :)

2838005 I'm glad you brought that up... I have a hard time when there's a ton of short dialogue between people. I try to avoid "..." Octavia said "..." Vinyl said, because that's pretty tiresome, but I know it gets jumbled sometimes... it bugs me a lot actually And it's even messier with the dialogue being between two women, since they use the same pronouns, lol.

No one has said anything about that so far, but then again, not everyone who reads this writes a comment. I'll have another read through it and see if I can make it clear who is speaking. Thanks for letting me know.

2838119

Instead of octavia said then describe her tone or and action or emotion

"..." The sarcasm in octavias voice was dripping

"..." Octavia groaned

The joy in Octavias voice was infectious as she exclaimed "..."

If you want I'd be happy to offer my services as a pre-reader on this story...
I'm only offering because I recently realized I only comment on the stories that I truly enjoy and get to me so since I've started commenting on this one I know I will prioritize and enjoy helping out, spinning about ideas and offering suggestions :)

But it's merely an offer so if you already have someone or would rather go on your own it's no skin of my nose :)

Don't worry, I care about Muh Freedoms too!

The authenticity of your characterisation went up another notch in this chapter, I think. Really good work