When The Mare Comes Around

by nanashi_jones

I Won't Back Down

Day: 11

I stared at the tavern. It was hard to miss. The place was obviously once a family’s lived-in farmhouse. White wood and green accents for the shutters and roof, it even had a porch that stretched the length of the building. It fit in with the small town’s aesthetic, save for the parking lot, which was practically choking on motorcycles.

Seebers Tavern was in Smithville Flats, which meant we lost a day and some change doubling back. We also lost our direct route to New York. AJ wasn’t happy about the detour, but she was less happy about having Matthews out there and unaccounted for.

May was quiet. She had been since I got the call from Max, who had done some damn impressive detective work.

“I’m sorry Max, I must have caught ear mites because I swear it sounded like you said you just found Matthews,” I said.

“That’s a big no on the ear mites because I did just say that.”

“How did you-”

“Lots of computer magic and a few favors.”

I’d called Max while staying at Cherry’s and shared the idea that Matthews had digital back-up. Max took it to heart and went around asking his local computer guys if anyone was working with investigators or independent contractors. I didn’t think it was possible, but “hacker who does P.I. work” showed up on the right radar once Max asked the right questions.

Max tracked the P.I. helping hacker down and as luck would have it, he found a fellow brony.

“This is my life,” I grumbled, pulling Liana down over my eyes. “Lemme guess. He didn’t like that he’d been set on AJ.”

“He’s a classic, heavy, sweaty, computer guy,” Max said, his smile apparent through the phone line. “He looked like he was gonna punch a baby when I told him.”

“Great, we’ll get his infant throttling services,” I said.

“Nah. You’d much prefer his online skills. I mean, the guy’s name- I shit you not- is Wayne Wade Waters.”

“Wow,” I said.

“Yeah.”

“Were his parents prophetic?”

“Maybe, because Mr. Wayne Wade Waters turned right around in his chair and tracked down Matthews’s banking information, cell phone, and location to within two miles. Then Mr. Wayne Wade Waters gives me his cell so he can update me if Matthews moves.”

I whistled in appreciation.

“Yup. Oh and Mr. Wayne Wade Waters said, and seriously, this was kind of cool of him, he said, ‘No one fucks with my favorite background pony.’”

I sighed. “Is this background pony thing a joke I should be aware of? I keep hearing it.”

“Ignore it,” Max replied. “Seriously, for a guy who looked like a black Silent Bob, he made that line totally bad-ass.”

I was more impressed with the line he gave us on Matthews. Since that line lead to me right to the biker tavern, where he was enjoying a late afternoon beer.

“So,” May asked, breaking her silence, “What’s gonna happen?”

“I’m gonna go in there,” I said, stroking Sam calmly. “Find him. Talk to him. Play it by ear after that.”

“What about me?”

“I’ll leave you and Sam with the nice man outside.”

May made a face.

“What?” I asked.

“I don’t wanna stay outside. It smells like ass out here. Besides, you totally need back-up.”

“You’re, like, two feet tall,” I retorted.

She rolled her eyes. “Okay, how about this? It’s a bad plan and that ‘nice man’ doesn’t look very nice.”

I peeked around the building. No, the man outside didn’t look nice. He mostly looked huge. Like, epic huge. Like viking huge. Like, average doorways were something he glared at until they bent to allow him to pass huge. He was also thick in the middle, but under no circumstances would I regard that heft as anything less than threatening. His scowl was pretty impressive to boot.

“He’s a bouncer,” I said, eyes still on him. “He’s not supposed to look very nice. C’mon.”

“No,” May said, sitting and pulling Sam close. “Why’re we doing this Rachel? Huh? I mean, so what. This P.I. guy’s chasing you. You’re fucking Applejack, now. We make it to New York, bunker down with the princesses, there’s no way he’s going to mess with you.”

I sighed, smiling wearily.

“Yeah. I could do that,” I said, nodding. “It’s smart. Run to New York and rally with AJ’s friends. Well... My friends too, I guess. Find this guy with them at my back and then- no worries, right?”

May nodded. “Yeah. Duh.”

I shook my head.

“That’s too much like running off and sticking my head in the dirt.” I stared at Seebers again. “Also, Matthews is the only lead I have.”

“Lead on what? When did this become fucking CSI?” she asked.

I looked at May evenly. “Sweetie censor up?”

“Yeah,” she mumbled, glancing away. “She’s in my Disney World memories right now, anyway.”

I nodded. “I didn’t just wake up as AJ, May. I woke up as AJ in a shallow grave off the highway.”

May’s jaw dropped and her eyes got very, very big. “Holy shit,” she whispered.

I nodded again. “I think the only reason I’m not dead is because my human body was bigger than my pony one. So, when I changed, it left a gap big enough for me to tunnel out of. Plus, the whole earth pony thing.”

I tilted my head at the bar. “That guy in there? He’s my only lead to how I got there.”

“But... But, your friends,” May said.

“Shouldn’t have to deal with my mess. If I’d stayed put in the first place, or tackled Matthews and dealt with him then, I wouldn’t be trailing him, now. Max could have just driven me to New York and that’d be it. So, it’s time to stop running, get my head out of the dirt and deal with my mess,” I said.

May looked at me. Then, she looked at Seebers.

“Okay,” she said, rising. “Let’s do this.”

For the first time since she’d joined us, Sam didn’t wag her tail as we walked.

We came out from behind the building and waited as a car rolled by. The bouncer turned his attention our way as we stood at the curb. Nearby, a compact, firm looking redhead watched us, too.

We crossed the street, waded through the sea of parked motorcycles, and walked up the steps to stop in front of the guy. Up close, he was a mountain with a goatee and short black hair at the top. Even if I’d still been my average girl height, I’d come up to his armpit tops. This guy wasn’t just huge, he made huge need lifts.

“Howdy,” I said from down at the mountain’s base.

“Hey,” he replied, his arms crossed, his head cocked in interest.

“I need to show ID?”

“Is it going to have a horse on it?” the bouncer said.

“Pony,” the redheaded woman said, an amused smile on her lips.

The bouncer looked over at the woman, then back at me.

“Look, we’ll skip the bit where my license doesn’t remotely look like me and just cut to the chase,” I said. “I’m just looking to get inside, talk to someone, and leave.”

He cocked his head at me the other way.

“And her?” he said, indicating May.

“Oh she’s underage twice over. She’s staying out here with the dog.”

“Hey!” May squeaked.

The redhead laughed.

“I’m not a babysitting, or dogsitting, service,” the bouncer rumbled.

“I’m no fuckin’ baby!” May snapped.

That got the redhead really laughing. “Oh shit, that’s funny,” she said, slapping her leg.

The bouncer frowned at me, then May. “Nope.”

I rolled my eyes. “C’mon. I’m having a hell of a day, help me out here.”

“I don’t doubt,” he said. “No ID, no in. And no way I’m watching the infant and the mutt.”

“Dude, if you don’t knock it off with the baby stuff, I will bite your dick off,” May growled.

The redhead was roaring now, leaning against the railing as she guffawed.

The bouncer just gave May a hard look. May tried to return it, but she didn’t exactly have a lot she could work with. Sam wagged her tail and tried to look pleasant.

“Jay, just let her in. I’ll keep Swearing Sweetie company if it’s that much of a problem.”

Jay the bouncer looked at the redhead, who was grinning and giggling, and he sighed.

“Fine,” he said rolling his eyes. Looking at me he growled, “Don’t cause any shit.”

“Not my plan,” I said.

I turned at May. “You gonna be okay with...” I glanced at the redhead.

“Ann,” she said, with a saluting beer.

“Ann,” I said, back to May. “I’ll be quick. I’m not cutting you out of the loop. Just want to make sure nothing bad happens to you.”

May rolled her eyes and huffed. Trudging on little hooves over to Ann, she plopped her rump down. Sam looked between us and I gestured toward May with my hoof, nodding approvingly. Sam’s tongue lolled out in happy understanding and she went over, sitting down next to her. Ann stroked the dog’s head and Sam wagged her tail appreciatively.

“Do I get a biscuit?” May said, sarcasm dripping from every syllable.

“No, but I’ll see about getting us a hotel for tonight.”

She looked away, but I could tell I’d appealed to something. “Thanks,” she mumbled. “Camping’s alright, but I need a tent.”

“Heard that,” I replied.

I went over to her, offered a hoof. The act mollified her further and she bumped it, making a little squee noise. I smiled, tilting my hat at her.

Turning, I went back to the door and Jay let me in.

The inside of Seebers was okay and nothing like the family farmhouse exterior. Inside was an old time saloon. There was a bar that stretched across one wall with liquor and a mirror behind it, people milled at tables with their drinks and food, the place even had pool in the corner with darts. I almost wished I’d gotten a Clint Eastwood stinger when I walked in. I certainly earned enough sidelong glances to be a mysterious stranger.

I ignored them. I could see not-cop, dirty Private Investigator James Matthews staring at his drink at the end of the bar. He looked as shabbily official as ever, in a brown blazer and gray slacks.

I got yer back, AJ said.

And she did. I could feel it.

I’m not wall-eyed, am I? I’m trying to look serious here.

You’re fine. I don’t need to be actually lookin’ to pay attention to where I’m at, she replied.

I nodded slightly and walked the length of the bar. There was an empty stool next to Matthews. I bunched my hindquarters and leapt up, landing nimbly on the seat.

Surprised at my sudden dexterity, I turned inward.

Did you give me a hoof with that? I asked AJ.

Nope, AJ responded, her voice proud. That was all you, Rae. Nice one.

The bartender looked at me. I could see he was trying very hard not to stare.

“Coke,” I said.

He nodded and gave it to me.

From my impressive peripheral vision, I saw Matthews turn his head to me, blink, snort, and go back to his drink. It was amber and in a short glass without any ice.

Now that I was paying attention, I could see how old he was. He was younger than my dad, but the lines at his eyes and the creases in his brow made him look older than he was. He looked like someone who got punched by life, and often. No wonder I first thought he was a government official. Nobody can look that worn down, naturally.

“Well,” he said. “This is just my luck. I drive all up and down the state looking for your ass and you find me first.”

“That’s life,” I said, nodding my thanks to the bartender as he put my Coke down. “Full of surprises.”

“You’re certainly a surprise,” he said.

I picked up the straw next to my drink and plopped it in. I took a casual swig. I hadn’t had anything other than water and juice since this thing started. The pop bubbled on my tongue in a different way. It was still sweet, just foreign now.

“Ahh,” I said. “That’s good.” Turning to Matthews I said, “Rachel. Since we didn’t get off on the right hoof.”

“Jim,” he said, shaking my hoof.

“So. Jim,” I said, rolling the glass between my hooves. “Are you going to tell me why you’ve been chasing me all over the state?”

“I was hired to.”

I rolled my eyes. “Gee, couldn’t figure that one out. What else were you hired to do?”

“Client confidentiality,” he said, coolly.

I snorted. “Bull.”

“Fair enough,” he replied. “I was hired to find you, convince you to come with me.”

“And if I refuse?” I said.

“I can be persuasive,” he said. He spoke in a friendly tone. No malice, no threat. Just a fact. I would have preferred a threat.

“Well, I hate to be a bother, Jim, but I can’t go with you. I got business in the city.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I replied. “I’m apparently an Element of Harmony and they need me there. World saving stuff. You know how it goes.”

“Well...” he said, rubbing a thumb on his glass. “My client needs you back upstate.”

“Then we are, as they say, at an impasse.”

He looked at me, then sipped his drink. He sighed.

He cracked his neck, and turned on his stool. To the bar, he said, “Hey guys! Hey! Listen up!”

What’s he doin’? AJ asked, squinting at the P.I.

The chatter died down and I heard a few chairs squeak around. I turned to the bar and, sure enough, patrons were looking Matthews’s way. Soon, the only noise was the jukebox.

“This here’s Applejack! She’s a pony from that show! You know, the one everyone’s turning into characters from? Say hi!”

He was met with silence, but a couple of patrons glanced at me.

“Now... I’m tryin’ to get her to come with me, but it’s a no sell. I will give... One thousand bucks to the first guy to wrestle the pony down and help me out. She’s kind of running from a debt!”

“I am not!” I yelled.

“Dude are you nuts? That’s illegal!” one guy said.

“Yeah, but that’s a pony, and he said one grand,” another said.

More than a few people were looking at me sideways. More than a few were looking at Matthews sideways.

Great.

“You’re kidding me, right?” I said. “This guy just offered everyone one grand to kidnap me.”

The ones looking at me sideways lost some of their interest.

Matthews grinned and leaned back against the bar.

“I have it in cash,” he said.

Comments

[Sergiovan]

He has 1K in cash? Fuck this, then *stands up and goes away to punch ponies*

[postofficebuddy]

Ok time for a wild guess. Does this client upstate have a large bit of property that a certain unicorn currently resides upon? I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.

[squall_wave]

3073700

nope punch the guy steal his cash less competition and safer than trying to kidnap a pony that probably can break bones

[reader238]

well she didn't do anything to cause trouble he did, and I think she should tell the whole bar exactly what the deal is that the guy isn't bring her in because of a debt but because somebody wants her dead

3073946 I doubt it since the PI was after her before any one knew she was applejack

[Firebirdbtops]

Sounds like a bar brawl coming up. Lets see how many burly bronys rush to the defense.

[websterhamster]

Applejack vs. drunk rednecks... I'm gonna put my money on Applejack.

[LuftRaptor]

3074106 break bones? SHE'll TURN THEM TO POWDER!!!!!!

[arancaytar]

Wayne Wade Waters

His email address, of course, is [e-mail] and confuses the hell out of people.

....

... I smell an epic bar fight coming up.

[Pinklestia]

He is lying... and doesn't know about earth pony strength.

[musicluvr1974]

3079031

Wayne Wade Waters

His email address, of course, is [e-mail] and confuses the hell out of people.

Good one! /)

[Admiral Q Ponyform]

I just got a horrible image. May Belle becoming the Monty Python Bunny (Aka Angel before he met Fluttershy)