Adventures In Cake Sitting

by JMac

Part 3: Miss Quizzical's Wild Ride

Adventures In Cake Sitting: Part 3

Miss Quizzical’s Wild Ride

Quiz closed her eyes and dutifully counted to one hundred by fives. When she opened her eyes she did not expect to find either of the Cakes crouching behind a lamp or pole too narrow to hide them, but she was still disappointed. Scanning the room, Quiz found no little pony tails or ears sticking out of too small hiding places.

Quiz listened intently, but the children were being very quiet. She took a moment to enjoy that.

It would have been nice to just stand there in the quiet room until the twins got bored and came out of hiding. But that would not be fair. Quiz had promised to play, and so she was going to play.

“I should be able to hear the softest sounds; their breathing, little movements…”

“Bwah, bwah, bwahhhh…!!!” went Pinkie, though her pursed lips. Pinkie had begun another flugelhorn solo. Her previous performance had apparently ‘totally killed.’ She was at her dream party, after all.

“So much for tracking the children by sound,” muttered Quiz. She began searching methodically, looking behind furniture and opening cupboards. She was sure she was ‘cold,’ but that might work to her advantage. If the twins could see her then looking in all the wrong places might make them giggle. They obviously enjoyed laughing at her.

“Oh, my,” said Quiz, loudly. “I fear the children are too smart for me, and I shall never find them.”

This ploy produced the intended result, sort of.

There was, indeed, giggling. It came from everywhere.

“Pumpkin, you can throw your voice? That is extraordinary. Sweetie Belle has only just learned this, and sound and voice based magic are the spells she does best.” Despite herself, Quiz was impressed.

“Quizzie can’t find us!” Pumpkin called, from every corner of the room.

Quiz’s wonder at Pumpkin’s skill was somewhat deadened by the taunting. The baby unicorn had become her nemesis.

Giggles echoed from every shadow.

It was also difficult to remain impressed when the effect was so very, very creepy.

Quiz thought she heard a scrabbling sound from near the ceiling. Since the Cakes scrupulously kept their home free of vermin that had to be Pound.

“Very clever, young colt.” Quiz began to move objects on a high self, searching for Pound. “I might have predicted you would choose a hiding place above my reach.”

“That was ‘Feels So Good,’” muttered Pinkie. “Now, this next one’s called ‘Give It All You Got!’ Bwah, bwah, bwah, bwah, BWAH…!!!”

Before Pinkie drowned out the sound, Quiz thought she had heard Pound again. But this time it was far from where she’d first heard it.

“Squeak.” It was Pumpkin’s rubber chicken.

Quiz crept very, very quietly up to the toy chest, then threw open the lid. Pumpkin wasn’t there.

“Squeak.” The toy glowed with an aqua aura.

“Oh, that is a clever misdirection, squeezing your toy telekinetically,” said Quiz. “But you have given yourself away, Pumpkin.

Magic leaves a trail a sensitive unicorn like Quiz can track. The ventriloquism spell is much to diffuse to follow, but telekinesis leaves a trail straight back to the caster. Quiz closed her eyes and followed her horn.

She promptly walked head first into the couch.

“What? But I have already looked behind the couch. And there is no room around Miss Pinkie to get under the cushions. Pumpkin, you could not possibly…”

Straining her weak levitation skill, Quiz lifted the couch enough to look underneath. There was Pumpkin.

“Little filly, come out of there before I drop this on you!”

The couch glowed aqua, and Quiz no longer felt the weight. Pumpkin lifted it enough to wriggle out from under.

“Pumpkin, again you impress me, but if you can do that you might have offered to help when I was settling Miss Pinkie.” Pumpkin just stared at her. “At any rate, I have found you. You must go to ‘base’ to wait while I find your brother.”

Quiz levitated Pumpkin to the crib.

Pinkie had just finished her tune. “Gee, thanks, you really are a great audience. Now, who wants to hear ‘I’ll Take You Home Again, Cathleen’ one more time?”

“Oh, please, no,” gasped Quiz. She whispered in Pinkie’s ear. “Miss Pinkie? Perhaps you should put on another record instead. Miss Twilight said that she wanted to dance.”

“Oh, okie dokie,” answered Pinkie, dreamily. She began to hum along to a lively dance tune.

“Now, where was I? Oh, yes, Pound Cake, where are you?”

Pound found this amusing, probably because he was still free while Pumpkin was caught first. He laughed. It was a tinny echo, reverberating through the house.

“How did you do that?” Quiz’s brow furrowed. She knew the little pegasus did not cast a spell. Over at ‘base’ Pumpkin was filling the crib with toys. Whether her brother was caught or not was his own problem as far as she was concern. Then how…

“Pound Cake! Are you in the duct work?”

Pound thought this was hilarious. “Quizzie still gotta find me!”

“I do not. The air system is out of bounds, you have broken the rules. You must come to base.”

“Not out of bounds. Didn’t say, so not a rule.”

“Your parents do not allow you to climb about in the ducts. If it is out of bounds out of game, it is out of bounds in game. Come here right now, you little cheater!”

Pound laughed as if this was the funniest thing in the whole world. A series of clangs rang out as Pound was apparently galloping across the ceiling.

“Quizzie should stop him,” said Pumpkin, with a yawn. She did not look up from her toys.

“Indeed, I should,” stated Quiz. It was not safe. Fans forced hot air though the ducts. Also, if Pound broke through, as he no doubt would the way he was carrying on, he could cut himself badly on the sheet metal. Drastic action was called for.

Quiz used her magic to test all of the vents until she found the loose one Pound had used to enter the system. It was over a bookcase. This struck Quiz as convenient, as she did not want to go out into the cold where she was sure Mr. Cake kept his ladder.

She reconsidered how convenient this was when she began to climb the bookcase. It was not very well balanced, and swayed both back and forth and side to side. Quiz managed to get to the top with only a couple of close calls, though she felt she was in constant danger of either falling or toppling the whole case. Once she had a relatively steady perch, Quiz removed the cover from the vent and climbed halfway inside.

It was only a moment before Pound barreled into her.

Startled, Quiz kicked out, and suddenly she couldn’t feel the bookcase under her anymore. There was a crash far below her.

Pound sat in the duct, staring at Quiz. He shook his head to clear it, and said, “Hi, Quizzie. Meant to do that.”

The duct began to creak. It sagged.

“Hello, Pound Cake. I do not mean to do this.” There was a ‘pop’ and Pound disappeared.

Another ‘pop’ and Pound’s exclamation, “Whoa! Dizzy,” let Quiz know that Pound had reappeared in the crib.

“I am very sorry, Pound. It is unpardonably rude to teleport another pony without their consent. Remember that, Pumpkin.” Such rudeness offended Quiz to her very soul, but she felt Pound had left her little choice.

“Do it again?” asked Pound.

“Perhaps some other time.” Quiz still had to deal with dangling from a hole in the ceiling, but at least without Pound’s weight the duct had stopped collapsing. Quiz felt ridiculous. She was able to put this out of her mind, as she was used to it. Much of what she found herself doing made Quiz feel ridiculous.

“Help Quizzie,” said Pound. Quiz felt him land on her back.

“No, Pound, that will not…”

The duct came away and broke through the ceiling. Pound flitted away in time and he escaped the crash. Quiz did not.

“Oops,” said Pound.

#

The duct bent when it hit the floor, and it took Quiz some time to free herself from the vent. She shook herself to remove as much of the ceiling plaster dust as possible. Normally, Quiz would not have done this in the house. But, as she sadly observed, the room was already covered with the stuff.

“I shall come away from this night with more bruises than I expected from an evening of foal sitting,” said Quiz. “Though I suspect the fault here lies with my expectations.”

After brushing more dust from her eyes, Quiz examined the room. She blinked. “For instance, I did not expect to find the crib empty and nopony on the couch. I now expect I shall soon panic.”

Raucous laughter came from the kitchen. “Pinkie fun! Take us for a ride!”

Quiz’s expectations were met.

#

“Upsie-daisy,” said Pinkie, lifting Pound and setting him in the Cake’s industrial-sized pot washer. Pumpkin was already sitting happily inside the machine.

“Miss Pinkie, what are you doing?” asked Quiz, warily.

“It’s bath time, so I’m giving the kids their bath,” said Pinkie, checking that the well of dish soap was full.

“Pinkie give us dish washer ride! Yay!”

“Oh, dear.” Quiz grabbed a copper kettle off a rack, and used it to flash light at Pinkie’s face. “Look, Miss Pinkie. Look at the shiny thing.”

“Ooooooh, pretty!” Pinkie stepped towards Quiz.

Quiz began to back away, turning the kettle to keep the light trained on Pinkie. She backed out of the kitchen, and up the stairs. With Pinkie following, Quiz back all the way to Pinkie’s bedroom door. She threw the kettle into the room, and after Pinkie followed it inside she closed the door and locked it.

“I apologize for confining you, Miss Pinkie,” Quiz called through the door. “But it appears I cannot trust you with the children.”

“I understand, Quizzical,” Pinkie answered. “It’s the responsible thing to do.”

“I suspect you may soon fall over, unconscious again. Please stand next to something soft you may land on when that happens, Miss Pinkie.”

“Will do, Quizzical.” There was soon a soft thud, as Pinkie fell over onto her bed.

Quiz allowed herself a moment for a deep sigh of relief. Then she dashed back downstairs to the children.

The Twins were not in the washer. They were apparently not in the kitchen. They were not, as far a Quiz could tell, in the living room. They did not seem to be anywhere in the house.

“Have you hidden again? That is not fair! I have caught you both, fair and square, the game is over!” Quiz stomped her hooves.

Giggles rang from all the shadows.

#

At Pipsqueak’s house the kids had built a castle from a cardboard box and Pip’s building blocks, and Dinky and Sweetie Belle were using Pip’s action figures to rescue their dolls from a fearsome plush dragon.

Pip had left the game, and stood staring at a window. Staring at the window, not through it, as the snow drifts had already covered it and the first story of the house. Pip’s mother had made all of the children mugs of her excellent hot cocoa. Pip’s mug sat on an end table by the window; the little marshmallows had all melted, and the cocoa was growing cold.

“Pip, what’s wrong?” asked Dinky.

“I’m worried about Miss Quizzical,” answered Pipsqueak. “She said the Cake Twins hurt her feelings. Pinkie would never let that happen. I think something has happened to Pinkie, and she can’t help Miss Quizzical.”

“Oh, don’t be silly, Pip,” said Sweetie Belle. “If something was wrong, Quiz would have said.”

The second she said this all three of them realized that it simply wasn’t true. This was Quiz they were talking about.

“Pinkie can make anypony cheer up,” said Dinky. “She can even make Quiz smile.”

“What do you mean, ‘even Quiz’?” asked Pip, indignantly. “Miss Quizzical smiles. A little.”

“She didn’t mean anything, Pip,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Miss Quizzical is the bravest pony I know. She doesn’t have any…” Pip stopped, trying to remember the fancy word Quiz had taught him. “’Phobias.’ She’s very, very shy; but nothing scares her except too many ponies paying attention to her.”

This was true, for the most part. Given her aptitude for mishap, being alone in a dark, scary place was just another Tuesday for Quiz. But if she wasn’t alone, if she was responsible for other ponies…

“This could be Quiz’s greatest nightmare,” said Sweetie Belle, staring at the window.

#

“I am walking through a waking nightmare,” muttered Quiz. She called loudly to the room in general, “Ollie, Ollie, alls in free!”

Silence answered her, interrupted by not even a cricket’s chirp.

“Did you not hear? I have called ‘alls in free.’ I give. You have won, I am defeated. Come out, and you shall receive a congratulatory cookie.”

There was laughter, and Pumpkin spoke from the top of the stairs (where Quiz could plainly see she wasn’t), “Quizzie gotta find us!”

“Bother.” Quiz was inspired to revisit her plan to just let the Twins hide until they became bored. The quiet time would certainly be useful. Quiz needed time to work out how she would explain to the Cakes the state of their home.

There was no longer any way to climb up for a closer inspection, but as far as Quiz could see from the floor the structural two-by-fours the fallen section of duct work had been anchored to were undamaged.

“’Yes, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, there is a hole in your ceiling, and a small length of your heating system is lying on the floor, but at least there is no danger of the roof falling down.’” This sounded to Quiz like something Pinkie would say, and that was not a comfort.

“I knew, when I discovered I was to be a foal sitter, that I would not be good at it,” Quiz muttered sadly. “But I never suspected that I would prove to be the worst foal sitter ever.”

In all of the history of bad foal sitters, had a pony ever before torn a hole in their host’s ceiling?

As nice as the alone time was, Quiz knew that the Twins had not had their naps. As over excited as they were, it was entirely possible that if they were left alone long enough they might fall asleep. Quiz was not at all confident that she could find well hidden, sleeping foals, and she did not wish to add “why your children spent all night in a cupboard,” to the already lengthy list of things she had to explain to the Cakes. She also didn’t really want to leave the children to sleep all night in a cupboard.

Quiz was just going to have to find them.

Hmm. There was the section of duct work lying on the floor. The plaster dust around it seemed ever so slightly disturbed. A clever pegasus, or a unicorn who could levitate herself, could reach it without leaving tracks.

“It certainly is someplace I would consider, if I were one of the twins,” mused Quiz. “Either they are slipping, or this is a trap.”

Moving ever so carefully and quietly, Quiz went to one end of the sheet metal tube and peered inside. There were Pound and Pumpkin.

“Children, this is not safe, there are many sharp edges. Please, one at a time, as carefully as you can, come out now.” Belatedly, something that else that she needed to say occurred to Quiz. “Oh, and I tag you both out. I have found you. I… I… I have trouble believing I am saying this. I win.”

“Quizzie good at hide, seek,” said Pumpkin, as she emerged from the duct.

“Thank you for the compliment, Dear,” said Quiz. “With luck, this will not be the only thing I do right tonight. Pound, please come out of there.”

Pound buzzed out of the end opposite Quiz, and flew to the ceiling. He stood there, looking down at Quiz. “Still wanna play.”

“No, Pound, it is time for your…”

“Wanna play!” Pound began to walk across the ceiling away from Quiz.

“Do not be rude, young colt, and come back here. It is time for your…”

“Quizzie make me!” Pound circled back and hovered in front of Quiz’s nose.

“Uh oh,” said Pumpkin. “Somepony’s gonna get it. Probably Quizzie.”

“This was not my idea. You have made me do this.” Feeling she had been back into a corner, Quiz enveloped Pound in a telekinetic bubble. “I have you, Pound.”

She began to drag him towards the bathtub.

Pound pushed on the bubble and Quiz was yanked back, as if pulled by a rope tied around her neck.

“Who got who, Quizzie?” cried Pound.

“Pound Cake! You must behave yourself.”

Pound pushed on the bubble again, and Quiz was almost yanked off her hooves. “Gonna take Quizzie flying!”

“Why?!” exclaimed Quiz. “Do you really dislike me that much?”

Pound chuckled. “Quizzie funny.”

“I was not jokinnnnnggggggggggggggggg!!!”

#

It wasn’t anything like water skiing, with or without skis, in or out of the house.

An adult pony such as Pinkie might have been able to drag her hooves and slow Pound down a bit. Poor little Quiz, barely larger than Pound himself, proved to be no anchor at all. For her it was more like being the tail of a kite caught in a hurricane.

Pound expertly navigated through every archway and open door on their floor of the house. He swung Quiz wide at every turn and dragged her head first through every opening. If a door was ajar but not latched he opened the door by bouncing Quiz off it. Only two doors on that floor were locked; the bed rooms of Pinkie and of the Cakes. Pound tested these doors the same way as the others, and Quiz bounced off these doors with a considerably firmer rebound than the others.

“Quizzie getting tired?” asked Pound.

“You will tire of this first!” declared Quiz.

“Make some music now!”

“Pound, You may not go down stairs.… Yipe!” Quiz rolled to the side just in time to avoid being eviscerated on the banister. “Pound, I forbid you to enter the kitchen…. Yoaw!”

Pound swung Quiz through a rack of spoons and ladles, which rang as she struck them, then again as they fell to the floor. He was so pleased with this trick that he made another pass, this time through a rack of pots and pans.

“Yay!” cried Pumpkin, from the floor above. “Pretty music!”

“Yes… well…” gasped Quiz. “No one asks… the mallet… how it feels… about… a xylophone… solo!”

Pound shot back up the stairs.

As parents of rambunctious twins, the Cakes had long since moved all their breakables to a safe place. Quiz was now on a collision course with that safe place.

There was not enough time for Quiz’s life to flash before her eyes as she struck the glass China cabinet filled with decorative plates and crystal stemware. There was barely enough time for her to squeeze her eyes tightly shut.

Quiz bounced off. It was a very sturdy cabinet.

“Quizzie tired yet?”

“A bit.”

“Me, too.” In fact, Pound was beginning to breath hard. His growth spurts had cut into his weight to wing surface ratio considerably. “One more trick, then we quit.”

“We could just quit without the one more trick…. Eeeeep!”

Quiz held on through the first three barrel rolls. It was only during the fourth roll that Pound shook her off. She slid across the floor, barely made it through the bathroom door, and came to an abrupt halt against something solid.

Lying on the bathroom floor, Quiz could see the tub and the sink. That meant the white porcelain fixture her head was up against was something else.

“How convenient,” muttered Quiz. She called out “Children, come here, it is bath time.”

Then she leaned over the fixture, which was neither the tub nor the sink, and was violently ill.

#

“Want more,” protested Pumpkin.

“Do not be silly,” said Quiz. After drawing the Twins their bubble bath, she had let them each pick two bath toys. “Anymore floaty toys and there will be no room to play. It would be ridiculous to add more.”

A bell tone rang out of nowhere.

“Hello, Sweetie Belle.”

“Hi, Quiz. What’s up”

“The children are having their bath, What is up with you?”

“What that?” asked Pumpkin, pointing to the Note.

“It is a message from my friend Sweetie Belle. She wishes to know how the evening is going.”

“Having lotsa fun!” cried Pound.

“No doubt you are,” muttered Quiz. But it seemed a safe thing to say, so she sent that.

“The children are having a lot of fun.”

“Pip wants to know if Pinkie is OK.”

“Oh, dear, what made him suspect anything?” muttered Quiz.

“What she say now?” asked Pound.

“She wishes to know how Miss Pinkie is feeling.”

“Pinkie take a nap,” said Pumpkin.

Again, that sounded like a safe thing to say.

“Miss Pinkie is exhausted and is taking a long nap.”

“While you watch the kids alone?”

“I feel it is important that Miss Pinkie rest.”

This was not a lie, per se

“Quiz, are you guys OK?”

“Why do you ask?”

“You are infuriating! Don’t answer a question with a question. That’s, um whatdoyoucallit?”

“Deflecting. The word is deflecting.”

“Thanks, Dinky. Stop deflecting, Quiz. What’s wrong?”

“What she say?” asked Pumpkin.

Quiz sighed. “She says I am infuriating.”

“In-furry-tating?”

“That is a nice try. Sweetie Belle is angry with me because I do not tell her everything.”

“You fib?”

“No, I shall tell the truth. But now is not the best time to tell the whole truth.” Still, Quiz had to say something to divert their attention.

“There have been accidents.”

“Oh, no! What got broken?”

“The house.”

There was a long pause.

“Quiz, are you exaggerating?”

“Belle, it’s Quiz. She doesn’t exaggerate!”

“Actually, Dinky, I may be guilty of a slight exaggeration.”

“Well, that’s a relief.”

“Really, it is only the living room that is broken.”

“Quiz, are you going to be alright?”

“Yes, I believe so. I never wanted to foal sit again any way. I just did not want to be forbidden from ever foal sitting again.”

“Forbidden?”

“Yes. I believe the Cakes will be in the Mayor’s office tomorrow demanding that ‘Quizzical Greystone may never foal sit again’ be written into the town charter as law.”

“Quiz, is there anything we can do for you?”

“Keep each other warm and dry and happy. Speaking of which, the twins' bath is over and I must get them dry and cozy for bed. I will talk to you again later.”

“’Kay. But if you get lonely, or you just want to talk, Note us. Please?”

“Yes, yes, I promise. Good night Belle, Dinky. Pipsqueak, if you are reading this, protect them on this dark and stormy night.”

Quiz dispelled the connection without waiting for a response.

“What did you say?” asked Pound.

“I have been telling my friends about the wonderful time we have had tonight.”

A moment’s vigorous work with a bath towel produced two fluffy, dry foals. With a brush Quiz fixed the fluffy part. Then she helped the children into their pajamas.

“There. You may play quietly until it is time for bed,”

“Tell us a story?”

“Story! Please, Quizzie, story?”

It struck Quiz as an odd request, given that the Twins did not like her voice, but she was willing to give it a try. There were some fine books in the Library’s children’s section that she could summon.

“Tell us about the little unicorn who could walk through walls,” said Pumpkin.

“Yay!” cried Pound. “The story with the fire! Like that one.”

“You know this story?” This was not something Quiz would have chosen to tell. Living through it had gotten her into quite enough trouble. She did not plan to share it with impressionable foals.

“Mommy tell us. Got a lesson, ‘play careful with magic.’”

“Yes, I suppose the tale does illustrate that message.” If Mrs. Cake approved, who was Quiz to argue? “Very well. Make yourselves comfortable, and I will tell you the story. Ready? It begins with a unicorn named Belle. Belle was very clever, but she was helpless when it came to magic. She could hardly cast a spell at all. Then, one day, she discovered a trick…”

#

“…and even though Belle had actually started the fire, she was awarded an honorary firefighter’s badge for her bravery. And Belle hardly minded being punished for experimenting with magic, because she was so happy to have helped her friends. The end.”

“Why they punish her?” asked Pound. “That’s stupid.”

“The moral of the story is you should not play with magic without an adult watching over you. Belle had to be punished, to remind her never to do it again. Also, it shows how selfless Belle was. She knew she would be punished if she gave herself away, yet she used the spell anyway to save her friends.”

“Mommy tell it different,” said Pumpkin. “There’s another unicorn. She’s brave, like Belle, and she holds back the fire with magic. I like her.”

“Oh, well,…” Quiz began to blush. “I tend to forget all about her when I tell the story. Now, it is time for bed.”

“Quizzie?” asked Pound.

“What is it, Pound?” Quiz expected him to ask for a glass of water, or something else to stall bed time.

“Is getting cold?”

“What?” Quiz was so comfortable with cold that she had not noticed until Pound pointed it out. She ran to the thermostat. According to the temperature display, the house was five degrees colder than the heat was set. While she watched it dropped two more degrees.

“Oh, dear. There seems to be something wrong with the furnace.”

Comments

[Blue_Paladin42]

I'm gonna guess the trashed ductwork is probably somewhat responsible. It's also probably getting REALLY cold out.

EDIT: Incidentally, guess what didn't show up in my favorites list when it updated. What is it about your stories that FiMfiction doesn't like?

[BookWyrm]

i've been bored lately... this helps

[JMac]

2857149 I'm glad to hear it helps. I haven't heard from you and I hope you are doing well. And I am in no way trying to butter you up in hopes of getting some fan art. (Really, that's my story and I am sticking with it).

[Elric of Melnipony]

Pinkie Pie knows the work of Chuck Mangione?

[FlutterFan93]

Then she helped the children into their pajamas.

Ponies don't need that

[RedRaven]

...and you shall recieve a congradulatory cookie

(didnt spell that right)
LOL

[RemareShadows]

Who was the Mad genuis that Made these Demon Children Wreak poor Quiz.
Oh it's just JMac...
Why bother.

Fun plot to this story. Pip being adorable.
And Pinkie...
I want to join in that party of yours.
It sounds like a oasis of fun.
I need to get in there.
...
Ah well here comes the storm Danger.
Thx for breaking the heat system,Pound.
Thx.

[fferror]

It wasn’t anything like waterskiing, with or without skies, in or out of the house.

"skis", though skies probably weren't involved either.

It was only during the fourth role that Pound shook her off.

"roll"

“Keep each other warm and dry and happy. Speaking of which, the Twin’s bath is over and I must get them dry and cozy for bed. I will talk to you again later.”

"Twins' ", not "Twin's "

[fferror]

“Mommy tell it different,” said Pumpkin. “There’s another unicorn. She’s brave, like Belle, and she holds back the fire with magic. I like her.”

“Oh, well,…” Quiz began to blush. “I tend to forget all about her when I tell the story.

Dangit Quiz...

[Cobalt Shock]

Dangit Pondcake. Way to go on breaking the heating system. Way to go.