Part One - The Baking Is A Lie
Adventures In Cake Sitting
Part One: The Baking Is A Lie
Diamond Tiara regarded the slip of paper in her hoof with horror. Tomorrow would be the annual “Helping Hooves Day” for Miss Cheerilee’s class, and all of the children would be shadowing an adult and helping with a chore after school. The slip she had drawn from the selection jar told Diamond who she would be paired with and what she would be doing.
“Pinkie Pie
Babysitting.”
Diamond was sure that if she couldn’t get out of this she’d be cleaning flour out of her ears for weeks. I could try to trade, she thought, but no pony will go for it. The whole class knows what little monsters the Cake twins are. Except maybe…
Across the classroom, filled with students milling around and chatting about their assignments, Diamond spied Quizzical Greystone.
Quiz had come to Ponyville to become Twilight Sparkle’s research assistant. She was bookish, desperately shy, insecure, drab (at least in her own opinion), and could at times be both brilliant and clueless. Quiz was small and grey, in both body and spirit (again, in her own opinion). Diamond held a bit of a grudge against her.
Diamond sidled up to Quiz, and gave her a smile that any pony but Quiz would have immediately seen as fake. “Hey, Quiz. Which assignment did you get?”
“Mr. Davenport. I will be assisting him with inventory,” answered Quiz. “I am quite excited about that.”
You would be, you little nerd, thought Diamond. But, as far as she was concerned, all the Helping Hooves assignments were either boring or horrible, and boring was better. “That’s all about numbers, Quiz. You do that all the time. Helping Hooves is about trying new things. Want to switch with me?”
The fact that Diamond Tiara was being nice to her should have told Quiz that this was a bad idea. Quiz seemed not to notice.
Diamond surreptitiously tore all but the first letters of the word “babysitting” off her slip and handed it to Quiz. “It’s baking with Pinkie Pie. You’ll have fun.”
“It would be good to learn how to help Spike in the kitchen more,” said Quiz, thoughtfully. “Yes, I believe I would like to trade with you, Diamond Tiara.”
“Excellent!” cried Diamond, clapping her hooves. `She hurried away before Quiz could change her mind.
A moment later Diamond’s friend Silver Spoon whispered in her ear. “That was really mean, Diamond.” Then she was overcome with giggles. “Good one!”
#
“B-b-babysitting?” stammered Quiz.
“Oh, yeah,” said Pinkie Pie. Quiz found her in the Cake’s kitchen, heating up two servings of soft, diced vegetables. Quiz could hear childish shouts and raucous giggling coming from the living room. “The Cakes have gone to Canterlot for the big First Snow Festival. We’ll be watching the twins tonight.”
“There seems to be a misunderstanding, Miss Pinkie. I was under the impression I would assist with baking…”
“Oh, that’s all done. Finally, thank Celestia! We’ve been working like crazy for just about forever! Besides the big Festival in Canterlot there’s our own First Snow here in Ponyville. And we’ve been getting requests from bakeries all over Equestria for us to subcontract cakes for other Festivals. Gee, I wonder how many towns are holding First Snow Festivals tomorrow. Anyhow, we’ve been pulling all-nighters to get everything done. I’ve been baking in my sleep! When I get a little sleep I dream I’m baking. Or maybe I was baking and fell asleep. Or maybe both.” Pinkie gave a jaw cracking yawn. “I’m very sleepy.”
“Oh, dear,” said Quiz. “I do apologize, but I fear I am not well suited for helping you with the foals, Miss Pinkie…”
“Oh, don’t worry, Quizzical. Before she left Mrs. Cake told me very firmly that I wasn’t to just play with the kids and stick you with all the chores.”
“Actually, in the spirit of Helping Hooves Day I believe you are encouraged to do just that, Miss Pinkie. No, my concern is…”
“Really? That’s good to know. But I want to reassure you about the job. All those rumors you’ve heard about the twins? They’re all true. These kids chew up new foal sitters like lawn mowers chew up the toys you lost on your lawn in the high grass.”
“I see,” said Quiz, shuddering. “This is meant to reassure me, Miss Pinkie?”
“Well, not so much that part, though it is kinda fun, in a run through a gauntlet to test your mettle sort of way. But after the twins have put you through the wringer, and maybe the spin cycle, they decide they like you and feel bad about how rotten they were. After that the twins are little angels.”
“It is unlikely that will be the case with me, Miss Pinkie,” said Quiz, sadly. “Young foals do not tend to warm to me. I am no fun.”
“Don’t talk like that, Silly. The kids will like you just fine.” Pinkie set bowls of food on the trays of two high chairs. “Didn’t you ever foal sit, Quizzical?”
“No, Miss Pinkie. I was too young to watch my little sister alone, and we had a nanny.”
“Well, now you’re going to have a new experience! Isn’t that exciting?”
“Yes, Miss Pinkie. Excitement might be one way of describing what I am feeling, particularly in the pit of my stomach. It is, however, not the word I would choose.”
“Oh, will you just stop worrying? Foal sitting is easy if you have a sense of responsibility, and you’re almost as responsible as I am!” Pinkie gave Quiz a little hug. Since it was Pinkie this almost didn’t trigger Quiz’s dread of being touched, and she only flinched a little bit. “Now, please cheer up and give me one of those barely perceptible little smiles of yours.”
“Yes, Miss Pinkie.” Quiz did indeed smile, though you had to know her to tell. Pinkie knew her very well. No two ponies in all Equestria could be less alike, yet Pinkie and Quiz shared a unique bond. Pinkie understood Quiz in ways that nopony else did (or, at least Pinkie had an interpretation of Quiz that seemed to work). She got all of Quiz’s jokes, when most ponies failed to even notice Quiz was joking. Quiz, of course, didn’t understand Pinkie at all, but that was just fine, as Quiz found all of her fellow ponies puzzling.
“Any-hoo, you’ll be fine, Quizzical. They mind for me now. For instance, they’re behaving right now because it’s dinner time and they know if they’re good they get a cookie afterwards.”
Quiz cocked an ear. “This is their best behavior? They seem very loud…”
“It’s time you met them, Quizzical.” Pinkie called out, “Kids, come here for dinner!”
Pound Cake buzzed into the kitchen, and settled himself into his high chair. Pumpkin came in galloping close behind her brother, then stopped and allowed Pinkie to lift her to her seat.
“Okay, before you start, I want you guys to meet your new sitter,” said Pinkie, gesturing towards Quiz. “This is Miss Quizzical. She’ll be watching you with me tonight. Doesn’t that sound like fun?”
“Hello, children,” said Quiz. “I am… happy to meet you.”
Quiz had been taking voice lessons, and had worked very hard to add color to her speech. It was discovered that, when she put a little effort into it, she actually had quite a pleasant voice. But when she was nervous Quiz fell back to the monotone drone that had plagued her most of her life.
“Quizzie talk funny!” cried Pound. Both foals laughed so hard their high chairs rocked.
“Yes, no doubt you are right,” muttered Quiz, morosely. “I sound hilarious.”
#
Far away, in Cloudsdale, Clip Board was just coming on duty at Weather Control Central. He was a junior manager, and drew what any other pegasi would call the worst duty, the boring swing shift. Clip Board liked it.
He entered the Master Control Room to find a disaster waiting for him.
The Scheduling Book was a complete mess.
The Book was so filled with loose sheets; memos, annenda, and schedule changes; that Clip could not pick it up without littering the floor with paper. Sorting out the paperwork would take all night. It was Clip’s idea of a perfect evening.
That perfect evening did not include the messenger pegasus who charged up the Clip’s desk, dripping melting snow on everything and waving a bright red emergency notice.
Clip read the message with alarm, then did something he never ever did. He shouted at the top of his lungs.
“Listen up, everypony! There’s windigo activity in the Everfree Forest! All storms scheduled for tomorrow are canceled, and you’re all on extended shifts until all storm clouds are dispersed!”
There was a groan from all the pegasi milling about the Control Room. “Windgos? What set them off?”
“Who knows?” grumbled Clip. “Maybe treasure hunters in the Forest found something and had a falling out. You know, like in that novel, ‘Treasure of the Sierra Mare-dres’? Windigos would love that.”
“Aww, man!” groused Rainbow Dash. Her shift had just ended, and she’d been taking it easy in the break room before heading home. “It’s First Snow in Ponyville! My team spent all day getting the clouds for a light dusting in place.”
“Well, you have to go back and break all those clouds up,” stated Clip. Clip was a desk jockey, not a leader, but he knew an emergency when he saw one dropped on his desk. “If the front those Windys are generating gets to those clouds we won’t get a light dusting, we’ll get a blizzard.”
“My team has been setting up the First Snow Festival in Baltimare,” said a pegasus.
“We’ve been doing the same thing in Fillydelphia,” said another.
“Good grief!” gasped Rainbow Dash. “Clip, just how many towns are about to hold First Snow?”
Clip began flipping through the scheduling book, trying to make sense of it. There was a delay to allow repairs to the Harbor to finish in Baltimare, in Canterlot the Festival was moved up a week to avoid a conflict with a University Graduation…all the memos seemed to be about First Snow. Clip looked up from the book, terrified.
“Clip!” demanded Rainbow Dash. “How Many Towns?!”
“All of them,” Clip Board whispered.
#
“Uh, uh, uh, Pound Cake!” chided Pinkie. Pound set his spoon down; he’d had it poised to launch squishy peas into Quiz’s mane; and tried not to look guilty.
Other than this, meal time was largely uneventful. Pinkie took advantage of the peace and quiet to give Quiz a few pointers on Cake sitting.
“To reassure you, Quizzical, I’m going to share with you all I know. To begin, don’t under rate these kids, Quizzical. And never think you’ve over rated them. You can’t. Pound Cake is a little powerhouse. You’ll never believe what he’s capable of until he’s taken you for a ride through the house. It’s a little like water skiing, except without the water or the skies. Rainbow Dash says it’s because baby pegasi have a big wing surface to weight ratio advantage, but I don’t know. It always strikes me as silly to apply aerodynamics to pegasi. Don’t tell Rainbow I said that.”
“Yes, Miss Pinkie,” said Quiz. She summoned her notebook and began scribbling furiously.
“Now, Pumpkin gets these huge surges of magic. At the top of her game I think she could give Twilight a hard time. Were you like that when you were a baby, Quizzical?”
“No, Miss Pinkie. However, my little sister Delight was. I was very young, but I vividly recall how she frightened me at such times.”
“You should also remember that when you are talking to yourself in front of them, and don’t bother denying that you talk to yourself Quizzical, you aren’t just talking to yourself. They may not talk so good, but they understand everything. Everything. And they are always listening. Isn’t that right, kids?”
“You betcha, Pinkie!” answered Pumpkin.
“Also, never bargain with them. It may seem like the only way to get what you want from them, but you’ll never get a fair deal. They’re sneaky, and they cheat.”
Pound made a rude noise.
“Oh, who do you think you’re kidding, Pound? You’re proud of it! Um, where was I? Oh, yeah, cheating. Remember, Quizzical, never ever take your eyes off one of them while the other distracts you. If they succeed in tag teaming you it’s all over. You just have to hang on for dear life until they get bored.”
“Thank you, Miss Pinkie,” said Quiz. “But I have to ask again, what part of all you have told me is meant to be reassuring?”
Pinkie laughed. Before she could give Quiz an answer the Twins began to point to a kitchen window and shout with excitement.
“Snowing! Snowing!”
“Wow, it really is!” exclaimed Pinkie. “And it’s coming down hard! I hope this doesn’t ruin the First Snow Festival.”
Quiz watched the heavy snow flakes flying almost horizontally past the window. This was clearly not the work of the Weather Patrol. To Quiz it looked neither natural nor good. Admittedly, Quiz was a natural born pessimist. The sight filled her with a sense of dread.
“I hope the Festival is the most we have to worry about, Miss Pinkie.”
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Yay, more Quizzical~
More Quiz? My day is complete!
Huzzah! More Quizzical!
Oh, awesome. I was just rereading some of my favorite chapters of Thweet Geniuth today, so I had Quiz on the brain.
More Quiz! Yes!
Where does this story fit in the continuity ?
Dun. Dun. Dun!
Foalsitting during a blizzard.
THIS CAN ONLY END WELL
The only problem I have with this chapter, is that you misspelled windigos. If you look it up on the wiki it's spelled with an 'i' not a 'y'. Other than that it's lovely to read about Quiz some more.
2678574 Continuity? I actually had to think about that. But it's the fourth story, and it happens fourth (I wasn't actually sure of that). Quiz's whole story thus far takes place in the year before Twilight becomes a princess (assuming I'll integrate that later). She arrives in the Spring in "Quizzical." "Thweet Geniuth" happens over Summer break. "Basements of Doom" occurs in the early Fall, while it's still warm. And "Cake Sitting" is the begining of Winter, with the Holiday I've invented of "First Snow."
'Treasure of the Sierra Mare-dres'
I love you and all your glorious references!
Ack DT, trap trap tr...
Ah what ever.
Pinkie you gonna give Quiz a heart attack.
All that info spells doom, not like the weather is going to help.
Somehow, I can hear a d20 rolling in the background of this line.
"foalsitting". (And likewise in the next chapter, "foal talk" rather than "baby talk".)
I love Quiz's understated dry wit. Really, taking a deal Diamond Tiara offers you? You'd think she'd learn.
Oh! Reference to Celestia's impression of Quiz in the beginning of Quizzical! Nice!
Also, cool chapter titles! This one refs "The Cake Is A Lie", the next is a play on "The Perfect Storm"... Wordplay is great!
And Quiz yells in this story!
... What did the other foals get as their assignments, I wonder... *shrug*