In Which Twilight Sparkle Utterly Fails to Keep a Low Profile
“Say, isn’t that me?” Blueblood said, pointing at the screen.
He had to admit, for a pedestrian show for small females, My Little Pony wasn’t bad. Perhaps a little sugary for his tastes, but that was the kind of world he lived in. He utterly refused to consider the metaphysical, existential questions that arose from a cartoon about some of Equestria’s most famous magical mares appearing in a completely separate universe. That line of thought only led to weeping and gnashing of teeth. He could save the gnashing for later.
In the meantime, he sought to keep an eye out for the child’s mother, the woman with a can of righteous retribution. It was as if she held the burning power of the sun in spray form. He was certain that the concoction could cow Discord himself. If he could help it, he would never put himself in the mother’s way again.
Alma had other ideas, unfortunately. She seemed dead-set on learning as much about Blueblood as she could, mostly by asking him to explain the various little details that flashed by onscreen. He answered as best he could, not truly wanting to upset the girl by denying her wishes. He wanted to be anywhere but there, but he knew that to upset her would be to call down all of the mother’s resources upon his princely head. It would be the death of him. Painful, burning death.
Alma started at his comment, then began switching her attention between Blueblood and the television. Rarity, best pony after Twilight Sparkle and Applejack, was walking up to the prince she had been singing about earlier. He smiled a dashing smile, welcoming the seamstress into his company.
The girl’s eyes narrowed. Her eyes narrowed into tiny slits of indignation and terrible fury. “Is that you?” she asked with barely-concealed anger.
“I was asking you,” he said. He pouted a questioning pout. His eyes continuously scanned for the mother, not noticing the volcano of an acquaintance that sat beside him.
“Well, did you go on a date with Rarity at the Grand Galloping Gala?” the girl growled. It was quite cute in a vicious sort of way. Like a Tasmanian devil.
“That gala?” He placed a hoof on his bottom lip and mused. He mused and he mused and he mused. It was not amusing. “I can’t recall. What else happened that gala?”
“Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack destroyed the ballroom.” Alma raised an eyebrow, waiting for Blueblood’s response.
Blueblood nodded. “I suppose that was the gala where I met Miss Rariiiiiiiiiiii—!”
The prince leapt into the air and shook his leg, attempting to free it from the pain of being kicked in his royal pony shin.
“You meanie!” Alma shouted. “You were mean to Rarity! You’re a bad pony!”
“I beg your pardon!?” He glared down at the little terror. “I’m not a bad pony! Miss Rarity only wanted me for my station, or my gold, or something equally greedy!”
“You wouldn’t say that if you knew her!” Alma accused. “She’s the nicest, most generous pony ever! She made all her friends dresses! Twice!”
“Ha!” Blueblood laughed. “I suppose you’re too young to understand the term ‘gold digger.’”
“No I’m not.” She frowned severely at him, wishing him great harm.
He sighed and floated back down to the ground. “I’ll admit that I was quite the brute that night. I should not have reacted to Rarity’s advances in such a deplorable manner. But I stand by my conviction that she was only after me for what she stood to gain.” He sat down proudly, daring Alma to say another word.
She responded with a kick to his other shin. “Meanie! She just wanted a prince!”
His eyes widened in pain and shock. His mouth hung open in a noiseless scream of agony. He waggled both his forelegs in the air, unable to reduce the throbbing in either of his matching set.
So Alma kicked a third leg. “She just wants a prince who’ll be nice to her, and care for her, and love her, you meanie-butt!” She kicked his fourth leg. “She doesn’t even care if he’s royal, she just wants a prince!”
A howl finally escaped his tortured lungs. He writhed on the ground, staring horrified at the child who had laid him low. “All. You. People. Are. Crazy!”
Alma stood above the prince, reigning victorious. “You’d better apologize to her.”
“I. Did!” he hissed. His teeth ground together. Not quite a gnashing, but close.
“You didn’t mean it,” she said. “You didn’t really apologize if you didn’t mean it.”
“How do you know, you little expletive deleted?” he groaned.
The insult slid right over her head. “You aren’t sorry. You just don’t like that you got caught.”
Blueblood rolled onto his hooves and slowly stood. “What if you’re wrong?”
She frowned and kicked his shin again. “I’m not!”
Tears poured down Blueblood’s cheeks. “Ow. Please stop.”
“Apologize!” She raised her foot, daring him to disobey her.
Blueblood worried his lower lip whilst simultaneously rubbing life into her legs. “I’ll apologize the next time I talk to her.”
“Promise?” Alma asked.
“I promise,” Blueblood nodded.
“Pinkie Promise?” she insisted.
Blueblood rolled his eyes in defeat. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
The television burst with color as the screen version of Pinkie Pie broke into a stirring rendition of the “Pony Pokey.” Blueblood nearly jumped out of his skin. That mare scared him like no other.
Save, perhaps, for the mother of the darling Alma, the woman who had just walked into the living room. “Alma, please turn the TV dow—”
She looked at Blueblood. Blueblood looked back at her. Silence descended as they both registered the presence of the other. Eyes dried out as all blinking ceased. Blueblood’s heartbeat stopped as well. The prince deflated, while the mother began to rise up in an indignant rage similar to what her daughter had displayed a few moments before.
Blueblood screamed.
Twilight Sparkle toppled out of the dumpster with a lurch. Her gag reflex, honed from a lifetime of avoiding icky, icky things, activated precisely on cue. She opened her eyes and frowned at her impromptu barf bag. “Sorry, Flash.”
“Perfectly fine, Princess Twilight,” he said with forced formality. “Would somepony, perhaps one well-versed in magic, please clean it off of me?”
“No sweat,” Rainbow Dash said from the air. “I’ll just grab a cloud and wash you off!”
“Wait, Rainbow Dash!” Twilight yelled. She held up a hoof. “We don’t want to attract any attention, and control of the weather is a definite red flag!”
“What?” Rainbow Dash landed with a moan. “How is moving one measly cloud around a ‘red flag?’”
“’S on the notes Princess Twilight wrote up,” Braeburn said. He adjusted a formal business suit around his equine body. “These folks don’t use magic for nothin’.”
“But it’s not magic, it’s…” Rainbow scratched at her head. “Okay, it’s magic. But it’s just a little magic.”
“A little magic that everypony will see!” Twilight waved her hooves at the end of the alley, where a few humans could be seen walking past. They didn’t seem to notice several multicolored ponies arguing in a dumpster. “Really, Dash. Think!”
“Could somepony clean this stuff off of me?” Flash Sentry asked. “Please?”
“Hey, you don’t need to tell me to think!” Rainbow Dash shot Twilight a scrunchy stink face. “I can think just fine all on my own.”
“So what do you think”—Twilight Sparkle raised a haughty eyebrow—“will happen if these people see a blue horse flying around carrying clouds?”
“‘Gee willikers, that’s pretty cool?’” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “How’m I supposed to know?”
“Pretty please?” Flash begged. “I’d really like to not get sick.”
“Didn’t we have some mission or other to get to?” Braeburn muttered.
“Obviously you wouldn’t know,” Twilight said, “because you didn’t read my notes!”
“I did too.” Rainbow Dash sat beside the dumpster, her chin in the air. “And I’ll prove it!”
“Oh, yeah?” Twilight squinted. “How?”
“See that thing?” Rainbow asked, pointing at a distant object. “That thing over there?”
Twilight turned. “Uh huh, it’s a—”
“It’s a car,” Rainbow finished, pleased with herself.
“Bravo, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight sighed. She placed her hoof over her eyes to hide her perceived shame. “You’ll be an expert in the auto industry in no time.”
“Excuse me,” Redheart said as she stepped between Dash and Sparkle. “Isn’t there something more productive we could be doing? Do you think you could grab some water out of the atmosphere or something, Princess?”
Twilight winced and nodded. “Aheh, yeah. Sure. Wanna help, Rainbow Dash?”
Dash smirked. “You conjure up that cumulous, Commander!”
Twilight’s horn glowed, and a small raincloud appeared. Rainbow hovered the cloud over to Flash, who began to scrub himself gratefully. Twilight exited the dumpster at last and addressed her team.
“Alright, first order on the list is to assume our new identities.” She paced before the dumpster, her every move watched by the other four ponies. “I’ll be performing the changeling spell, so you don’t need to worry about following the steps.”
“What if the spell wears off?” Redheart asked. “Shouldn’t we know how to do it ourselves?”
“As far as I know, the spell won’t wear off.” Twilight pursed her lips. “Actually, we’ve learned that the changeling spell isn’t just a illusion, it’s a complete transformation. That’s not likely to wear off until I cast the counter-spell.”
“So,” Braeburn mused, “It ain’t just our appearance that’ll change. Are we gonna have to eat meat or sommat?”
“Only if you want,” Twilight replied. “Studies show that humans can survive on a vegetarian diet, as long as they take supplements.”
“Boring.” Rainbow Dash hovered above Twilight. “I’m gonna try a hamburger.”
A subtle shiver ran down the other ponies’ spines. Twilight grimaced. “Anything you say, Dash.”
Flash squeezed the cloud like a sponge over his head, sending water pouring down his blue mane and bare back. “Any other changes to expect?”
Twilight was understandably tongue-tied by the sight. “Ablah ha. Yes. Maybe. What was the question?”
Redheart tugged at her skirt. “Can we please just get this over with?”
Twilight nodded with jerky movements. “Of course! Right away! Yes! No problem!”
Her horn glowed with a familiar lavender light for a moment, then switched to a sickly green. Fire ignited beneath each pony’s feet, slowly drawing its way up their legs and to their clothes. Bare skin showed where the fire had passed, fingers and toes replacing hooves. Tails disappeared, and their manes shifted position on their heads.
As the transmogrification neared completion, Flash Sentry squeezed water out of the cloud absently, soaking his lower section. The green fire that had been changing him extinguished in an instant, leaving him a bizarre half-man-half-pony hybrid. “Was that supposed to happen?”
Twilight looked at his still-visible shield-and-lightning bolt cutie mark, then at his bare, human chest. She felt very confused inside. “Not quite, but I thought I preformed the spell correctly.”
Rainbow Dash stood shakily to her legs, balancing precariously on ill-fitting high-heeled shoes. “Works for m— Whoa!” She toppled to the ground and grunted from the impact. “This could take some getting used to.”
Braeburn, likewise, tumbled his way out of the dumpster. “I think my balance is shot! What in tarnation do you have us on?”
“It’s your inner ear,” Redheart explained. “It’ll take some time to recalibrate for a human’s posture.”
Twilight stared at Flash, trying to ascertain where the spell had gone wrong. Also trying to ascertain a few other things. “Sooo, what happens if I try the spell again?”
Flash looked at Twilight with bashfulness written on his features. “You think you could give me some clothes before you try that again, please?”
There were blushes all around as Twilight shifted through their suitcase. “Yes. Of course. Certainly. Can’t forget that. Nuh uh. Nope.” She tossed him a shirt and pants and turned away as he got dressed. “That would be, um, terrible.”
“Okay,” he said. “Try it again.”
As the spell was preformed, Rainbow Dash snatched the cloud out of the air. She squeezed it, prompting a miniature deluge, but her hands remained the same. “Huh. Maybe the water just put out the changeling magic, it sure doesn’t change me back.”
“Whazzat? It was the cloud?” Braeburn looked over her shoulder at the puff of water particles. “Water shuts down the magic, ain’t it the darnedest thing?”
Rainbow gave it another squeeze. “Kinda, I guess. I sure wanna be careful not to be around water when we change back.”
Flash Sentry, now fully human, rose to his feet. He waggled his fingers and grinned. “Well, that’s better, isn’t it?”
Twilight Sparkle wasn’t sure. She was really, really not sure. She tried to hide her uncertainty, but she had a poker face to rival Applejack. “Oh, yes. Sure. Much.”
Rainbow Dash took a step, fell to her face, and growled. “Forget this.” She tossed her high-heels aside. “Gimme some real shoes.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Blending in with the locals, remember? We’re gonna have to do something about our hair, too.”
Dash grabbed at her colorful mop. “What’s wrong with this? I’m a natural rainbow!”
“But on Earth, you get about three or four main colors to choose from.” Twilight shrugged. “That’s the way it’s gotta be.”
“I’ll wear your stupid business suit,” Rainbow groaned. “I’ll wear the ridiculous tie. Heck, I’ll try those dumb high-heels again.” She looked Twilight right in the eye. “But you ain’t. Takin’. My. Hair.”
Laughter rang from the end of the alleyway. Two humans walked slowly past, talking animatedly.
“This convention is gonna be awesome!” one said. It was a female of the species. She featured blue hair and an outfit that only seemed to be attached to her body by some sort of antigravity technology. “Anime, manga, you name it!”
“Yeah!” the other said. It was a male with bright-red hair. His outfit could be said to consist of various zippers and pouches. It was unquestioningly a creation of Tetsuya Nomura. “I can’t wait to see the new stuff about…”
Their voices drifted off as they proceeded to the local anime convention. Rainbow Dash smiled at Twilight. “What’s that about blending in?”
“Fine,” Twilight murmured. “We can be a little more casual.”
They made their way into the street, and Twilight was delighted to see a clothing store in the immediate vicinity. “Quick march, double-time! Operation ‘Blend In’ is a go!”
Nurse Redheart removed her sports coat and handed it to Twilight. “I’m fine with this. I’ll go ask around for sightings.”
Twilight nodded her thanks. “Good idea, I’ll keep an eye out, too.”
It was truly only a moment’s work for Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia’s personal student, to nearly lose her mind once more.
“I didn’t mean quite this casual!” Twilight protested. She stood outside Rainbow Dash’s changing room, where the former pegasus was trying on a new ensemble. “We want to avoid attention, I cannot stress this enough!”
“Cool your jets, Twi.” Rainbow Dash came out wearing a blue t-shirt and shorts. “I’m just following my own sense of style. I’m not gonna go ‘Full-Rarity’ on you.”
“Can you cover your belly-button at least?” Twilight groaned.
“Hey!” Rainbow gestured to her midriff. “I work hard for these abs!”
She was interrupted by a voice from the other side of the store. “Shucks, Princess Twilight, how’re we gonna pay for all this?”
Twilight held up a handful of gold coins. “I brought some bits. They’re pure gold, so they should be good anywhere.”
Braeburn jogged up, only tripping once. He stuck his thumbs under his vest and admired his jeans. “Not bad fer what they got here.”
Flash looked like he had stepped straight out of a GQ magazine. His shirt and pants probably had, if the store’s cashier assumed correctly. “How do I look? Pretty good, huh?”
Twilight began to feel those funny feelings again, but this time they were accompanied by a smile. “Hehehehe. Yeah…” She blinked, and in an instant spun away from him and back to Rainbow Dash. “Okay, good? Good! Let’s pay up!”
Dash shrugged. “Lead the way, Casanova.”
Twilight tossed a few bits onto the counter. The cashier looked at her like she was an alicorn princess out of a girl’s cartoon. “What’s this?”
“Payment for the merchandise,” Twilight said; her attention elsewhere.
“Is this a joke?” the cashier motioned to the bits and gave Twilight an eyebrow of incredulity. “We don’t take foreign money.”
“It’s pure gold,” Flash added. He bit into a bit to prove his point. “See? Legit.”
“Look mister, I’m no expert,” the cashier droned, “but we went off the gold standard a few years back.”
“Wait, wait.” Rainbow Dash waved her hands in disbelief. “You don’t use gold for money?”
“No…” The cashier was regretting covering for his coworker that day.
“Then what do you use for money?” Dash asked.
“This… paper stuff…” The cashier held up a dollar for all to see.
“Paper stuff…” Flash Sentry scratched at his cheek. “That you can’t trade in for gold.”
“My stars,” Braeburn gasped. “Their money’s worthless.”
“I-I wouldn’t say that.” The cashier searched his limited economical expertise for a rebuttal, but found himself drawing a blank. “But I guess that puts it pretty well.”
“So… Why use the paper stuff? Why’s everybody still work for it?” Rainbow Dash fiddled with the dollar, attempting to read the fine print. “‘Legal tender for all transactions…’ Yuck.”
“Okay!” Twilight shouted, startling all. “So we have gold, we need money, where do we go?”
“They buy gold across the street.” The cashier pointed. “If you leave your clothes here, they can help you out.”
“Right,” Twilight said. “You three stay here.” She walked out the door, on a mission to obtain tradable funds.
Rainbow Dash, Flash Sentry, and Braeburn Apple watched her enter the store, speak with the clerk, have an altercation with the clerk, and get tossed out of the establishment. The defenestrated not-a-pony wandered back to the clothing store with a wad of bills in her hand.
“Sooo,” Rainbow Dash grinned. “How’d it go?”
“I called them highway robbers,” Twilight replied. “There’s no way they paid me what the bits were worth.”
“They gave you the money anyways?” Flash asked.
“They were very nice about it.” Twilight handed the roll of bills to the cashier. “I’d almost call them understanding.”
Rainbow Dash shook her head. “I’m not even gonna ask.”
“Good plan,” Braeburn chuckled. “Ignorance is bliss, or so I heard.”
The cashier blinked. He reached for a metaphorical can of brain bleach and motioned for the door. “You folks have a nice day.”
Twilight smiled and pushed her way out of the establishment. “Thank you. You, too!”
The cashier smiled and waved. He smiled and waved long after the not-at-all-ponies had disappeared from sight. “Ignorance sucks,” he muttered, his day no longer as simple as he had assumed.
Twilight crossed the street right down the middle, barely avoiding a jaywalking ticket and a traffic accident. Redheart could be seen sitting in the bus stop, which seemed to be deserted.
“Nopon— body saw him.” Redheart shrugged. “What’s plan ‘B?’”
“Plan ‘B’ is actually plan ‘A,’” Twilight said. She handed Braeburn a small ring. “Braeburn, if you would?”
Braeburn grinned and held the ring into the air. A faint light-green glow surrounded it. A stream of light shot from the ring and entered the alley that contained the arrival dumpster. Hoofprints glowed in the street, marking a path from the alley, looping around the street, and ending at the bus stop. Braeburn lowered the ring, pleased with his handiwork.
“Wow, Dude,” Flash gasped. “What kinda spell was that?”
Braeburn Apple, Prince of Pioneering, smirked. “That’s my personal spell, the one I got from becomin’ an alicorn. It took my natural trackin’ ability an’ turned it into something darn near perfect.”
He fiddled with the ring, meant to fit over a unicorn’s horn. “This here’s the sigil of the house of Blueblood, he’s worn it enough that it picks up on his magic straightaway.”
“But the path ends here,” Redheart pointed out. “What good is it if it doesn’t go all the way to Blueblood?”
“Aha!” Twilight Sparkle pointed a finger to the sky, a gesture she had learned in Canterlot Highschool. “What we don’t see can tell us much more than what we do!”
“What’s that?” Redheart asked.
“Well, we see that Blueblood’s tracks end here in the stop, right?” Twilight’s grin grew as she continued. “And Blueblood isn’t here, right? So, obviously, he was carried off by some sort of public transportation vehicle.”
“Or he flew off,” Rainbow Dash offered.
“Or maybe teleported?” Flash Sentry suggested.
Twilight Sparkle deflated. “Couldn’t you guys let me be amazing just this once?”
“Sorry, Twilight,” Redheart said. “Until we have more clues, we can’t really afford to assume.”
Rainbow Dash strode out of the bus stop with her head high. “Come on guys, I’m willing to make Blueblood wait a couple hours if it means I get to try a cheesebur—”
Moving at full ground-speed, Dash had little time to slow down, let alone stop, before she ran right into the bulky form of Keefe. The big brony let out a gasp of surprise as she bounced comically off of his broad chest. He reached to catch her, but in vain. She landed on her rump with a thud, spewing curses all the while.
“What in the flying feather just happened? Shucks! Watch where you’re going, Dobbin! I’m gonna give that draft horse a piece of my mind!”
“Um.” Keefe tilted his head as John came up beside him. “I’m sorry?”
“Wow,” John grinned. “Sweeping the ladies right off their feet, huh?”
Rainbow Dash stood and glared at the smiling human. “I’m gonna wipe that smirk offa your face if you—”
Twilight moved quickly to cover her friend’s mouth. “What my buddy here means to say is that she’s terribly sorry about all this, too!” She narrowed her gaze at Rainbow. “Aren’t you?”
Rainbow rolled her eyes, but relented. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”
Lavern and Eudora stepped cautiously onto the scene. Eudora’s eyes lit up when she saw Dash. “Cool Rainbow Dash cosplay!”
“Thanks!” Rainbow said, puffing her chest out. “What’s a cosplay?”
An elbow to the midriff silenced further preening. “Low profile,” Twilight hissed. The former purple pony turned back to the bronies. “Terribly sorry about this, we’re just looking for a friend.”
Eudora nodded pleasantly. “Does this friend of yours happen to look like a pony with a horn and wings?”
The five ex-ponies froze, their breath taken away in a moment of panic. “Yeeeaaahhh?” Twilight said at last.
“Great!” Eudora’s outburst startled everyone. She turned to Lavern with a proud smile. “Case solved, overly-enthusiastic fan.”
Lavern raised an eyebrow at an angle that indicated a dubious disposition. “You said you were looking for him? You lost him?”
Twilight shrugged, desperately searching for a way out of the current conversation. “Misplaced him, perhaps. We’ll find him soon enough.”
Lavern nodded, watching Twilight’s reaction carefully. “I saw him earlier; he rode the bus down the yellow line.”
Twilight’s mouth twitched ever-so-slightly. “Yellow line? Where does that lead?”
Lavern smiled inwardly, the lady before him was hiding something. “Well, we could take you there, if you wanted.”
Flash Sentry bristled slightly, placing himself closer to Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash. “I’m sure we can find our own way.”
John muttered advice into Lavern’s ear. “Try sounding like less of a creeper, will yah?”
Keefe stepped forward. “Here’s the deal; we’d like to meet your friend, even if it’s just because Vern here”—he pointed a thumb at the older brony—“thinks he’s really a pony. Crazy, huh?”
“Ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha.” Twilight’s laughter would have scared a hyena. “Ridiculous.”
Keefe nodded. “So we’ll help you find your friend, Vern can meet him, and we can forget all this ever happened. Sound good?”
Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash shared a look. Dash chuckled and stuck out her hand. “Why not? Let’s do it!” She smiled deviously as Keefe accepted her handshake. “I still gotta kick your butt, though. If only on principal.”
Keefe yanked his hand away, his expression souring. “Whatever. What are we waiting for?”
As they walked onwards, Braeburn leaned in close to Redheart and whispered, “I think I know why Rainbow Dash came along.”
Redheart raised an eyebrow. Braeburn pointed at the pegasus’ multihued mane. “Color commentary.”
Redheart chuckled. “You’re as bad as Pinkie Pie, no wonder she agreed to marry you.”
Braeburn tipped his hat. “Truth be told, I’ve learned most of my tricks from her. Ain’t nobody can pun like a Pie.”
John walked on in silence, having eavesdropped on the entire exchange.
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BlueAlma'sMom, OTP!
I'm almost sorry he didn't kick her back.
Addendum: Please have Twilight berate her for repeatedly kicking people, that would probably be quite a shock to her and I so want to see that^^
So, is Alma supposed to be unlikeable? All she's done so far is kick people and claim she knows people she's never met better than someone who actually has met them.
I was kind of hoping he'd just go "Buck this!" and kick his way out of the room.
Not bad, Brae. Prince Braeburn for best Prince!
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It's always nice to see Trout Trusser! But did you bring any fish?
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I make no promises that Twilight Sparkle will be the one to correct the darling little shin kicker.
2914236
That is a very interesting question, one that I must consider deeply.
She is definitely acting the part of a childish brat, what with her physical answer to a personal dilemma. I think that her likability may be at an all-time low in this chapter, unless you enjoy seeing our beloved prince getting assaulted by a little girl.
I really don't want to say too much, because spoilers, but I try to treat my characters like people. No one's a hundred percent this or that, especially Blueblood. Is Blueblood/Alma unlikable? Maybe. Will Blueblood/Alma be unlikable for the entire story? I hope not.
If the cartoon is completely canon for the Blueblood's Ascension universe (which it is), and everything happened as it happened in the cartoon, then wouldn't you say that you, personally, know Rarity better than Blueblood does?
I mean, you've seen her go about her business for however long you've been a fan, and he met her for one short-lived date. I think I know Rarity better than Blueblood does; especially since he didn't even try to get to know her.
What are your thoughts?
There's still time for that.
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So far, anyway.
I think he'll be a fun character to play around with.
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Oh, he doesn't have to kick her hard! Just a bit, in a stop-hitting-me-when-you-think-I-can't-fight-back- way!
(Also: I did write "almost"^^)
I am a bit late to the party here, but I am amused by the fact that the ponies seem to think that gold has some intrinsic value.
Technically, ALL money is worthless to those that do not use it. ANYTHING can be used as a medium of exchange as long as all parties agree on the value of said medium.
2975723
True, however gold has the advantage that, even with particle accelerator technology, our ability to produce more of it is so limited and prohibitively expensive as to be nonexistant.
By that standard, the only thing that could make gold money worthless is the philosopher's stone.
Paper money, by contrast, can be and has been easily printed in bulk by governments. (Look up the era between World War 1 and World War 2 when, in an attempt to comply with their obligations under the Treaty of Versailles, Germany printed up so much new money that people were burning it as cooking fuel and making kites out of it.)
In fact, inflation is one of the designed benefits (to government) of so-called "fiat currency". A country can get around interest payments being too high to allow the principal to shrink over time by devaluing their currency so that the "X number of dollars/crowns/marks/rupees/reals/etc." they owe becomes less and less real wealth.
(You can probably see why most religious texts call usury a sin and some cultures consider or considered charging any interest at all to be usury. As I remember, since all loans were from the crown, Babylon had a different solution with loans being forgiven if they were not repaid after 7 years of good-faith effort.)
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By Jove, that is a fantastic answer!
I myself have to admit that only the sheerest of basics stuck with me from my economics class a few years back, so I appreciate you being able to go in depth.
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Twitch.... Twitch....
Ahahahahah!
It's obvious! You're fucking with me. You're doing it on purpose.
Yes that's it.
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i1210.photobucket.com/albums/cc412/Malphesus1/My%20Little%20Pony%20Meme%20Collection/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-sherlock-pie.gif
Awesome!
*chuckles*