• Published 1st Jun 2013
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Legend - Radiant Dawn



He was an average man in nearly every sense of the term, but his entire life is flipped upside-down when a push for a paycheck turns into something unexpected...something much more.

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Chapter 22: The Song of Chaos is Murphey's Law

Author's Note:

Alrighty then, I've found that with Jamie having chaos magic within him, his life hasn't exactly been chaotic enough. Well, this chapter is going to start to change that, and you're going to see a fair amount of changes take place soon that will further drive the story on.

It was either this or a very grim/dark turn, and I figured this would work better for now.

The dark will come later, so yay for that.

Chapter 22: The Song of Chaos is Murphey’s Law

“...Jamie, is that-”

“No, it’s not.”

“...Jamie, I’m pretty sure that’s a-”

“No it’s not; shut up!”

Twelve sets of eyes were now staring at my hand as if it were dancing ballet, which at this point was something I was halfway expecting to happen. After all, my life was now officially downright weird; what next universe, eh?

“Jamie,” Twilight attempted once again, and I grudgingly stayed silent this time, “I’m almost positive that’s a cutie mark!”

I shook my head. “It’s not, and there are a few reasons why: first of all, it’s on my hand not my hip, and there’s only one mark instead of two. Second, how the hell does a glowing rune relate to a talent? Third, cutie marks don’t move.”

The third statement was added as an immediate addendum, seeing as how when I began explaining why I hadn’t just gotten a fucking cutie mark, it started to slowly drift and move around my arm. Yes, I had some magical glowing rune-like mark now floating around the skin of my arm, and it was bright celeste in color. Just one more oddity to tack onto the rest, I suppose.

I stood quickly and stretched out, forcing all the ponies away from me. “Fuck this, I’m going hunting; Spike and Shudder, with me.”

“Jamie wait, we need to talk about this!” Celestia called after me as me and my two companions made our way to the door.

Without turning around or breaking stride I replied, “After I get some meat in me. I’ve been craving it all week and things just took a turn for the batshit-crazy-weird, so unless I do a little predation and consumption of meat, I’m liable to eat a pony today.” At the shocked gasps I turned around and raised my eyebrow in subtle disbelief. “That was a joke. Seriously, what do you take me for? Just…” I sighed and shook my head. “Just give me some time to process all this. We’ll be back later tonight.” Without another word, I exited the library and began my trek toward the Everfree.


While I had gotten some survival training before coming to Equestria, I had never actually hunted before my relocation. With that being the case, I’d never eaten wild game before; while I had to admit that wild beast meat was a bit more gamey than something like beef or even lamb, in a land where the primary race was a primarily herbivorous prey species, I took what I could get.

So, as I sat on a log next to a small stream, I enjoyed the meal of roast cockatrice that Spike had helped me hunt and prepare. Oddly enough the meat tasted like smoked chicken, so I wasn’t complaining. Shudder didn’t partake, but neither did she watch the two of us with disgust. I was pleased that my guard seemed to be a bit more open-minded than some of the ponies around Ponyville were (the mayor finding out I was a predator species did not go down well), and enjoyed the fact that Spike seemed to get along with me much better since we had something quite unique in common now...well, unique among Equestrian citizens, anyway.

I couldn’t avoid the problem in the back of my mind forever, though.

“So, are you just going to sit there munching, or are you going to talk about what’s going on with that mark on your arm?” Shudder interjected, bringing the subject to bear with no subtlety whatsoever.

I swallowed my current bite of meaty goodness and sighed as I rested my elbows on my knees. Lifting my hand up palm-in I answered, “It’s not a cutie mark. Saiian has this same mark on her arm, and it’s even the same color.” I then looked to the elemental beside me and twisted my lips in a nervous manner. “Saiian...what’s happening to me?”

“Do you want the long version or the short version?” Saiian replied as she took a seat beside me.

I placed my head in my hands and groaned. “Short for now, if you please.”

I felt Saiian’s hand grasp mine, which I allowed though I didn’t particularly reciprocate. “You’re becoming more like me as you finally mentally and emotionally accept Equestria as your home, and everything that means.” I removed my hand from my face and stared at Saiian uncomprehendingly. Luckily for me, I didn’t have to force myself to ask questions that sounded stupid even in my head, as Saiian continued explaining. “You’ve accepted that there is no chance for you to return to Earth any time in the near future, and you’ve accepted that you have not only a place, but a purpose here. You’ve finally felt comfortable enough to admit to yourself that you care for these ponies as much as they do you, and you’ve even accepted that you may one day find yourself loving a pony, though you don’t currently understand how or why that would happen.”

I nodded slowly. “Okay...but that’s not all, is there?”

Saiian shook her head with what I could only discern was a proud smile. “By trusting your friends enough to reveal your painful past trials and childhood, you’ve unknowingly allowed yourself to begin to let go of that past, and finally begin to heal...or in this case, become something new.”

“And what will that be, Saiian? What am I becoming; what’s the endgame, here?” I questioned weakly, unsure if I was going to like whatever answer she had for me.

I was right, though not because it was an answer at all.

“I can’t pretend to know, Jamie.” she softly spoke to me, a tone of true regret in her voice. “I know that’s not what you want to hear, but even though I’ve seen this world change several times over, we’re in uncharted territory now. You are the first of your kind to arrive here, and the bond between you and I is a unique one -- it is meant to benefit the both of us, but I won’t say I have all the answers as to any ‘side effects’, because I don’t.”

I nodded once again, but weakly this time as crushing doubt began to overcome me. “I asked you once before if I would recognize myself in the future -- if I would be able to reconcile who I will become in the future with who I was in the past; do you still believe I will?”

Saiian opened her mouth, but no sound came forth. For a few moments she went through that same routine -- opening her mouth without making a sound, only to close it a few moments later -- before finally deciding on what to say.

“Who you are as a person -- who Jamie is -- will never change.” she answered truthfully, though her answer seemed...lacking somehow.

It was then that I figured out what she must have omitted. “What about physically?”

Saiian sighed and lowered her head in shame, likely from the fact she had tried to hide something from me. “I...don’t really know. I do know it’s impossible for one race to change into another -- so you don’t have to worry about becoming a pony or anything like that -- but beyond that, I am unsure. Just...be ready for any changes, as somehow I don’t think they’ll stop with a mark on your arm.” She gestured to her own body, which was clothed in tanktop and a beach wrap around her waist. “I have eight marks in all, written in Oldtongue, that each say something about who I am. You have but one, so while I cannot hope to predict what will happen next, I believe you will gain more or all of my marks before ‘this’,” she gestured generally to the air, “is over. Just know that I will be by your side every step of the way, and we will weather it together.”

I sighed heavily and leaned against Saiian for support as I mentally went over what I had been told. After a few seconds of silence I asked, “I’ll remain human though, right?”

“If you mean that you’ll look like a human, then yes.” Saiian assured with a soft smile. “Don’t worry about suddenly growing wings or anything -- that can’t and won’t happen. That, at least, I’m sure about.”

I nodded before reluctantly pulling away from Saiian’s comforting warmth and strength. “I guess I can take comfort in that, then.” I glanced to Shudder and Spike, who were sitting patiently and chatting while I did the whole talking-to-myself thing, for which I was thankful for. Pinkie in particular had taken to trying to get my attention in strange ways whenever I would zone out and speak to Saiian, some of which had me laughing, and others hurting.

Shudder glanced to me and grinned with a nod. “All finished there then, Lanky?” At my nod, she flapped her wings and took to the darkening sky. “Alright then, let’s get you two home; I don’t want to upset a princess by keeping her little brother out too late.”

Spike rolled his eyes before strolling over to me and smiling. “So are you alright now?”

I shrugged. “As okay as I’m going to be. I’m not going to sequester myself in the library and neither am I going to go on a bar run, so you can consider me safe for the time being.”

Spike nodded to me. “Cool, let’s get going then. The others are probably worried about you, and something tells me they’re not gonna leave until they get answers.”

With a groan I stood and followed the dragon and pegasus as we headed home, and I began to mentally prepare myself to try and explain just what the hell was going on.


The walk back to the library was quiet and serene since the sun was setting, and most ponies knew me well enough to not freak out when “the huge alien” went traipsing through town at night. As Golden Oaks loomed in front of us though, I began to feel a little nervous about how I was going to explain all this.

Shudder floated ahead of me and pushed open the door, escorting Spike and I inside before closing it behind us. Much to my surprise, the main area of the tree home wasn’t filled with ten anxious ponies, for which I was thankful. Something told me that I wouldn’t react very well to such a tense atmosphere, along with the fact that whatever handle I thought I had on my new life seemed to have been wrenched away. Now, I couldn’t even try and plan for my future really. Where once I was a person that liked to have things laid in a line and the future somewhat prepared for, I was now a guy that could only guess at what tomorrow would bring.

Okay, maybe that’s a little exaggerated, but it’s how I felt at the time.

“Twilight, we’re home!” Spike called through the library.

The furious clopping of hooves upon wood floors came from upstairs, followed by the slamming of a door against the wall and the sight of Twilight nearly falling down the stairs. It would have been laugh-worthy if I hadn’t been worried about her breaking her neck or something.

As Twilight arrived sloppily at the bottom, I made my way to her and looked on with concern. “Jesus, are you okay?”

Twilight shook her head and glared up at me. “Am I okay? What about you? You just left earlier, and we were all worried about you! You were emotionally vulnerable, and the first thing you did was go to the bucking EVERFREE FOREST?!”

Wow, Twilight was pissed. That was as close as she had ever gotten to outright cursing.

“Um...yeah?” I answered hopelessly.

“We’ll just, um, go see what’s going on around town.” Shudder mumbled before dragging Spike with her out the door.

In between the worry for my safety as Twilight’s anger was brought to bear and wishing Saiian could help me calm the raging alicorn, I couldn’t help but feel the need for retribution against the two traitors that just left me alone with an angry Twilight. After a few moments of Twilight’s eye twitching in time with the agitated lashing of her tail, she finally began to calm down, closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths before focusing on me once again. “I know you well enough by now to understand that you don’t like having to rely on others if you don’t have to, but going off on your own in such a state and leaving all of your friends worrying about you doesn’t help either. You don’t have to shoulder this alone, Jamie.”

I shook my head with a sigh of annoyance. “Twilight, you all wouldn’t understand what I’m going through, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. You all would be understanding, but you couldn’t understand exactly what I feel like; I had to get away so that I could focus on me for a bit so that I could come to terms with what was happening, along with speaking with Saiian about exactly what this,” I motioned to my hand, “meant and what to do about it.”

Twilight glared at me defiantly for a few moments before her ears drooped and she hung her head in defeat. She huffed and ground out, “Fine. I don’t like it, but you’re more stubborn than Applejack when you want to be, so I’m not going to fight you about it.” She then looked up at me with a curious expression. “So what did Saiian say, exactly? Are you going to be okay?”

I glanced out of the corner of my eye at the elemental and sighed as she took my hand. “This would be a whole lot easier if she could talk.”

“Actually,” Twilight interjected slowly, a confident smile on her face, “I may have a way to make that possible for us.”

I raised an eyebrow at Twilight in confusion. “Eh? What do you mean, exactly?”

“Well,” she began, walking over to a lectern that had an open book upon it and motioning to said book, “since learning about Saiian, I’ve been researching her kind and just what they are capable of as far as magic, since by what you’ve told me, the intelligent reactions of your magic is due to her.” I nodded, prompting Twilight to continue. “Even with you bleeding your magic off at regular intervals to prevent uncomfortable buildup, I’ve noticed that you generate it almost as fast as the average unicorn, which is something I did not expect. With a spell I developed through some experimentation and repeated testing, I think I can link with that magic to allow me to see and hear what you do for a short time.”

I took in what Twilight had said, chewing my lip for a moment. “Sounds like that could be dangerous.”

“For a novice mage, maybe;” she commented with a sly grin, “but not for somepony like me. I’ve done all the calculations over and over again with the samples you give me every week, and the math adds up just fine. Even if for some odd and unfathomable reason this spell fails, the spell matrix I’ve designed will allow the excess energy to bleed away long before it can do any damage to either of us. The most you would feel or experience in the event of the spell failing is something akin to a small static shock.”

I shrugged. “Sounds like you’ve got everything worked out, then. I know if I had to choose one thing to trust you on, it would be magic.” I then glanced to Saiian again. “What do you think; will this work?”

Saiian, for the first time since I’d known her, looked completely unsure. “I don’t know. Chaos magic isn’t something you learn like arcane, and you don’t feel it the way you do elemental magic -- you just do it. Suffice to say I’m not an expert when it comes to how magic works; I don’t know what’s going to happen.” At my unamused expression, Saiian rolled her eyes at me. “Would you rather I lie to you?”

“But is this going to kill me or something?” I asked her, only half-joking.

Saiian bit her lip in a way that would normally be seen as sultry, but I could tell by the way her eyes were darting between Twilight and I, she was nervous. “No...but I also don’t know if her calculations took into account the fact that chaos magic by definition doesn’t follow rules.” The two of us watched Twilight levitate five sticks of blue chalk as she began to mark out a spell matrix on the ground a few feet away.

“So the whole ‘small static shock’ thing…” I trailed off nervously.

“It won’t hurt more, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Saiian answered, preempting my unasked question. “However, something like full-body paralysis for a few seconds or minutes wouldn’t be out of the question.”

Acting more calm than I felt at the moment, I shrugged. “Good thing I went to the bathroom not too long ago.”

“So,” Twilight cut in unknowingly, “are you ready?”

I still had my doubts about the whole thing, but besides the fact that Twilight’s excited “science face” was adorable, the chance to be able to actually introduce one of my friends to Saiian was too good to pass up. That, and I didn’t feel like acting as a mediator between two people for so much information. Call me lazy, but that’s how it is.

I took a steadying breath to settle my nerves and nodded. “As I’ll ever be.”

Twilight pointed to an open circle right in the middle of the spell matrix, which was surrounded by magical runes. “Stand right there and try not to move too much.”

I nodded and took my spot before looking to Twilight. “By the way, you do realize you’re dealing with chaos magic here, right? How does your math account for that?”

Twilight raised her hoof to respond, only to place it on her chin in thought. “Hmm...you’re right. I didn’t think to take that into account.” She glanced over the spell matrix before erasing a quarter of it and redrawing, checking the book of her notes a few times as she did so. “There, that should take care of things. I added an extra ward for element transmutation and one for magic grounding, which should redirect any errant effects three feet to your left.”

“Should?” I questioned nervously, now feeling more anxious than before.

Twilight sighed and nodded. “Yes, should. Do you still want to do this?”

I still didn’t understand magic as a whole, but knew Twilight wouldn’t purposefully subject me to anything she knew would be dangerous to my health. “Yeah, let’s do it.”

Twilight nodded again, smiling this time. “Alright then: stand still and -- you said you can touch Saiian, right?” I nodded. “Hold hands with her or something. Linking yourselves, even if just in your mind, could help the process. At the very least it couldn’t hurt, and I would like to try and cover everything.” She took a few deep breaths as Saiian laced her fingers in my own. “Alright, here we go.”

I watched with nervous excitement as Twilight’s horn lit up with a sparkly lavender aura. A few seconds of concentration later, two more layers were added to it and the light increased a few magnitudes as well. The spell matrix began to glow blue as her magic touched it, and I felt a faint tingling on my skin as I grasped Saiian’s hand a bit tighter. Arcs of pure energy began to bounce from Twilight’s horn to me, and I had to force myself not to jump away from something that looked like lightning. I didn’t turn my head to look, but I could see a faint glow coming from Saiian next to me as the spell continued, and after another minute or so, the glow faded and Twilight sighed heavily.

“Whew,” Twilight began, shaking her head, “that was more strenuous than I thought it would be.” She then glanced up to me and bit her lip with a frown. “Hmm...it didn’t work. How do you feel?”

I shrugged. “Alright, I guess. I’m not dead, so that’s a plus.”

Twilight rolled her eyes and walked back toward the lectern across the room, levitating her book with her. “Funny guy. Give me a moment to see if I can find out what went wrong, and then I’ll try again if you want.”

I nodded and stretched my arms. “Alright then, I’ll just-”

As soon as I took a step forward to leave the circle, it once again began glowing brightly and an almost deafening crackling of energy filled the room. Twilight’s focus shot to me as she dropped the book and she had just enough time to open her mouth to say something before a wave of force from my left threw me off my feet and into the wall supporting the stairway. It surprisingly didn’t hurt much, but now I was gasping for breath as the air in my lungs was forced out of me. My body felt a little numb as well, but I was clearly still alive, which was nice.

I heard coughing from the other side of the room followed by, “Jamie! Jamie, are you alright?” I groaned and pushed myself to all fours, trying to see through the dust that had thrown up. Twilight then exclaimed, “Oh wow, it did work! You must be Saiian!”

“Awesome,” I grumbled in irritation, “can you help me-” I stopped as I heard something very new about my voice -- specifically, I noticed the fact that my strong baritone had now become a silky alto...and I was not amused. “Alright, what the fuck happened to my voice?” I then pulled at the front of my shirt haphazardly. “And did you shrink my clothes too? My shirt’s really tight across the chest.”

The dust had caused me to close my eyes in futility, so I only heard the worried voice of Twilight say, “Uh oh.”

“No,” I spat out in growing agitation, “no ‘uh oh’. What the hell happened?”

“Don’t, um…” Twilight began quickly, nervously, “don’t open your eyes just yet.”

I growled, now equal parts angry and anxious. “Twilight…” I obediently kept my eyes shut, afraid of what I might see, but still tugged at my suddenly-uncomfortable shirt. That was when my hand met something that likely explained why my shirt felt so tight all of the sudden, and at the same time was likely the reason for my voice change. “Twilight, what I’m holding in my hand right now better not be what I think it is.” Well I could definitely feel it, so…

I made the worst mistake of the day thus far, and opened my eyes to look down.

“God-fucking-damn it.” I muttered, unable to say much else due to even levels of shock and righteous indignation. With possibly the most defeated sigh I had ever (or will ever) muster, I glanced to an extremely ashamed Twilight, and Saiian. “Did the part that was supposed to work, work?”

Twilight just bit her lip and glanced away for a moment before reaching out and- what the hell, how is she touching Saiian? “Better than I thought it would, actually.”

I then threw a glare Saiian’s way, and she just held her hands up in defense. “Hey, I said I didn’t know what was going to happen; I only promised you that you weren’t going to change to a different species, and Twilight promised you that you wouldn’t die. Technically speaking, both of us still spoke truthfully.”

Chancing it, I quickly stood and walked over to the unaffected side of the room, where a full-length mirror waited. Seeing as how it was designed for ponies, I flipped the horizontal mirror onto its side so that it was taller, and then tilted it back so that I could see myself.

My decidedly-shaggy hair now framed soft features and full lips, while every bit of facial hair I previously had must have disappeared during this ungodly event. My once-comfortable button-down shirt that Rarity had generously created for me was slightly stretched across the chest, and I could see the buttons straining a bit to contain two new mammaries that shouldn’t be there. Seeing as how the shirt was designed for a male human, it now looked like I was wearing a tent, as there was now about four or five inches of space between the cloth and my stomach. Further down, I noticed the crotch of my pants was quite a bit roomier while the behind was a bit more...snug.

This was like a bad dream; I had been magically gender-bent, but worst of all…

“Fuck, I’m hot!” I cried out, and the words sounded that much more pitiful being whined with a female voice.

Now I know most people out there, disregarding the fact of a forced sex-change, would be okay with turning out as an attractive member of the opposite gender. However, think about it for a minute: you’re a decent-looking guy with rather masculine features, and the next moment you find yourself looking at your own reflection and thinking, “I’d hit that.”

So yeah...a bit of an identity crisis going on.

Slowly turning my head with a glare that would kill lesser ponies, I locked on Twilight. “FIX. THIS.”

Twilight gulped and stepped away, even though I hadn’t moved from my spot. The posture of utter shame and regret would normally have caused me to stop and control myself, but I just lost my dick. So yeah, I wasn’t caring much at the moment.

“I-I don’t know how!” Twilight stammered as tears began to gather in her eyes. “I thought the circle would account for even chaos magic, but-”

“CHAOS MAGIC DOESN’T OBEY YOUR DAMN RULES!” I nearly screamed, grinding my teeth in fury. “YOU TOOK MY HORN, TWILIGHT!” She paused in her shame for a moment to look at me quizzically, only for me to point to my crotch. “MY HORN, TWI! GIVE ME BACK MY HORN OR I’M TAKING YOURS!”

Twilight scurried away from me and nodded frantically. “I-I’ll get right on it! I’m sorry!”

I took a few deep breaths to try and keep my anger from exploding again; it wasn’t her fault really, but while I knew that, I was now a woman. “Look...Twilight, I’m sorry. Just...please fix this. Do whatever you have to, but fix this as soon as you can.”

Twilight stopped quivering in fear, but still wore a frown as she nodded and began pulling books off of the shelves. I decided to take a seat and try not to feel or look too much at what had changed due to some magical fuck-up. Of course, still having the mind of a man caused a very strange thought to crop up almost immediately:

‘What would it be like to masturbate as a woman?’

“I heard that, Jamie.” Saiian commented with a smirk as she unceremoniously took a seat in my lap. The action should have bothered me, but let’s just say that while Saiian had cleaned up her actions to be more acceptable, she still had little to no understanding of personal space.

I rolled my eyes, but allowed her to take her chosen place. “It was just a random thought; I have hundreds of them a day, and most of them make no sense whatsoever.”

Saiian giggled and nodded. “Indeed, but this is one you can test.”

“Not gonna do it.” I grunted, though I’d never admit to myself outright that the idea did have some merit. Instead, I looked up to Saiian’s eyes and asked, “So, you’re real now?”

Saiian shook her head gently. “Not entirely. From what I understand, my body is now a magical construct born of ambient magic and reconstructed atoms.”

“Nuclear reconstitution…” I breathed in awe. “That supposed to just be a theory; it’s not supposed to be possible.”

Saiian laughed airily. “Chaos elementals live in the realm of impossibility, Jamie.” She then reached over to the main table of the library and pushed a book off of its surface, causing the tome to hit the floor. Twilight glanced back before her sparkling magical aura picked it up and placed it back on the table, at which point she returned to what she was doing.

“Couldn’t you have told me that turning into a woman would be a possibility?” I grumbled, though I was unable to completely stay upset at either Saiian or Twilight. What had happened wasn’t malicious in any way, and what Twilight was trying to do in the first place had worked.

Saiian just stared at me blankly. “What part of ‘I don’t know what’s going to happen’ didn’t you understand? That statement alone should have told you, ‘the chaos elemental doesn’t know, so that probably means anything could happen’. This was always a possibility, as was you growing a second head, or something similarly unexpected. All we knew for sure was that you wouldn’t die and the spell itself wouldn’t hurt you.”

“So the whole getting blown into a bookcase thing?” I grumbled with a roll of my eyes.

Saiian shook her head, glancing to the alicorn that was furiously sifting through several different books at the same time that were levitating around her. “If you remember correctly, that happened after the spell had been finished, and only came about from you attempting to leave the circle. My guess is that this was caused by some sort of magical feedback that the circle didn’t bleed away fast enough.” At my glare, Saiian held up her hands with an innocent expression. “Hey, it kept you from dying like we said, so be happy.”

I sent her a flat look. “I lost my dick and grew boobs as a trade. Forgive me if I’m not jumping for joy at not dying.”

A couple of knocks at the door announced someone’s arrival as the door opened, only to reveal Vinyl and Rainbow Dash returning. It was odd to see anyone coming to Twilight’s as the sun was going down, but then again it was likely they were waiting for me anyway.

Rainbow’s eyes immediately shot to Saiian and I, and she wore a confused look on her face as she asked, “Umm...when did we get more humans visiting?”

“We didn’t,” Twilight called from the side before trotting over and pointing to me, “that’s Jamie and Saiian. I messed up a spell and...well, that’s the result.”

Even though I was more than a little upset still, I wasn’t going to let Twilight take the blame for this. “You didn’t screw up, Twilight. Chaos magic is unpredictable by nature, so this was kinda always a possibility.”

Vinyl’s eyes widened even behind her glasses. “Your voice, Jamie…”

I sighed long and heavily. “I’m female now Vie. I got turned into the opposite sex, which means I lost something...and gained a few things.” I then looked to the two guests and smiled weakly. “I’m sorry about earlier, by the way. I was just...unnerved. I needed time to work through it on my own. As for the mark,” I held my hand up palm-in as Saiian did the same, “you’ll notice some similarities here.”

Rainbow’s eyes darted between the two of us briefly before she turned to Twilight. “What the hay was the spell supposed to do, Twilight?”

“It was supposed to give me the temporary ability to see and hear Saiian like Jamie does, but it seems that when I attempted to connect with his magic core, it...sorta fought back.” Twilight explained lamely, her ears and entire posture drooping in shame.

I stood, causing Saiian to stumble off of me as I made my way to the sulking alicorn princess and placed my hand on her shoulder, trying not to think about how dainty my hand was now. “Twilight, this isn’t your fault. You can’t really prepare for chaos, so don’t beat yourself up over it. Just...don’t take too long finding a fix for this. The moment I get used to being a woman is the moment I officially become crazy.”

“What’re these?” I heard Vinyl question as I felt a hoof poke one of my new -- and surprisingly sensitive -- addition to my chest.

With a gasp of both surprise and something else I’d rather not think about at the moment, I reared back and forcefully slapped the white hoof away. “Don’t do that!”

Twilight stepped between the two of us before anything more could happen, explaining, “Vinyl, you just poked the human equivalent of a teat.” The sight of Vinyl’s face suddenly turning bright pink must have been a clear indicator of what she felt, since she nodded. “Yes, so please be more careful; Faust-willing I’ll be able to fix this soon, but for the time being let’s try and keep from antagonizing Jamie. If he’s going to be stuck like this for a few days, we-”

“Wait a fucking minute,” I blurted in disbelief, “did you just say days?”

Twilight’s ears once again drooped, but this time she didn’t shy away as she explained, “In order to work on a counterspell I have to know what went wrong first, which means a lot of research and testing. If I do it wrong, it could kill you this time, so I’m asking for your patience please.”

I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down and keep from shouting again -- raising my voice wasn’t going to help anyone. “Alright fine. I don’t really have any choice but to trust you, since I know you know what you’re talking about. This just sucks is all, and I’m still not sure how I’m supposed to feel other than outraged.”

“Well,” Twilight began, chewing her lip as she thought, “there might be something I can immediately do to make you feel at least a little better, since those clothes don’t seem to fit you very well.” She closed her eyes and I felt the tingling of her magic against my bare skin all across my body for a moment before it relocated to my clothes. Slowly, my clothes resized to fit me properly, which was both a relief and disturbing.

I looked down at myself and frowned. “Thanks for that, but I hope you’ll be able to fix this as well after we figure out what went wrong -- this is one of my favorite outfits.”

Twilight nodded, finally smiling for the first time this whole thing went down. “I can and will; I’ll get started on the research right away, Jamie.” Once again she trotted off and began levitating books as she left me and the others to our devices.

As if called by some unseen force, the door opened once again as Spike and Shudder returned, and I mentally facepalmed.

“Wow, the library looks better than I thought it would.” Spike announced as she glanced around, only to frown when he noticed the state Twilight was in. He then looked to me and raised one of his brows. “Who’re you?”

“Jamie.” I deadpanned, sighed and slumping against the wall behind me. “Look, I’m not really in the mood to explain this all again, so I’m going to bed.” I pushed off the wall and walked toward the side hallway, tapping Twilight on the shoulder as I did so and muttering a goodnight to her as well as I left the main room.

Upon arriving in my room, I came to notice another issue.

“I’ve gotta get dressed down for bed...God, this is gonna be strange.” I muttered, mostly to myself.

Shudder alighted on the foot of my bed with a smirk. “Do it like ripping off a bandage. That’s the only way you’re going to get through this with most of your dignity intact.”

I groaned as I unbuttoned my pants and slid them down, quickly removing my button-down shirt as well. Looking over my underwear and undershirt, I shook my head. “Nope, not dealing with that today.” Instead I flicked off the magical light and slid into my bed as Shudder took her place, opting to try and ignore the new sensations that came up whenever I moved my shirt around, or shifted my thighs.

I’ll not lie and say I wasn’t...tempted.

“Are you going to keep moving around all night? I’ll knock you out if I have to.” Shudder growled from the foot of the bed.

“Step on a rusty nail, Shudder. I hope you grow a dick overnight so you know what I’m going through.” I shot back, more upset than I should have been, and I instantly felt bad.

For a long few uncomfortable moments we laid still, until Shudder muttered, “And that, my friend, is what mares have to deal with every day. Hormones are a bucking pain, so don’t ever think guys have it harder just because you have to control yourself from ‘standing at attention’ in public.”

I just rolled over, pulling the sheet tighter against me and grumbling, “Luna fuck me in the ass with a studded dildo, I still have another few days of this shit…”