Chapter III: The journeigh ( I'm terrible at puns, yes I know.)
(Skoruligr’s POV)
J’zargo and I spent some time further researching Discord for a few hours, as we decided it would be best to wait until a couple hours before dawn before leaving. What we had found out is that while extremely powerful, Discord was neither omnipotent nor omniscient, thus had his limits and weaknesses, but was incredibly cunning. We knew that the only thing that has defeated him thus far was the elements of harmony and he attempted to hide them last time, but underestimating his enemies was his folly; it was most likely he would not do such a thing this time. The library we were in had a surprisingly small amount on the matter despite being so historically significant; Details tend to fade away over the course of millennia I suppose. The best lead we could find is that Discord had a temple just inside the Everfree where some would worship him as a god, and that we could perhaps find more intelligence there. The temple was little under 5 hours walk from Canterlot and there were still a few hours until dawn, so we took that time to plan out an escape route that involved the least contact with the locals.
I tried to make conversation, but J’zargo was giving me the silent treatment, obviously not in the mood for my scintillating remarks. I guess because when I got him from the collage to test my new shout, it was only supposed to take a couple hours then he could go back to the collage, but instead ended up being transported to an unknown realm of pretty ponies with no guaranteed chance of return. If memory serves, he was supposed to get a new shipment in containing a new staff yesterday, and knowing Enthir he has probably already gotten his greasy mitts all over it and sold it to somebody in Hammerfell. It was stressful to him, but J’zargo retained a good sense of equanimity still considering the circumstances.
I hadn’t been too surprised by the ponies. I have been to the afterlife of Sovengarde and back without dying, been inside the head of a long-dead homicidally insane emperor with the god of madness, beaten a another god in a drinking competition which resulting in me almost getting married to a half-bird half-woman hag, and conversed with a talking dog who ended up being the canine companion to yet another god. Yeah, these ponies aren’t anything too out of the ordinary for me.
After 5 hours of careful planning, it was 4:00 AM and we were ready to go. We had created our plan using a map of the castle and what the scholar knew of the patrols, a squad of guards was supposed to pass bay at 3:40 without fail like clockwork and we were supposed to be in the clear until 4:20. We packed all of our gear back into our packs and headed to the door ready to use out plan to escape without a hitch. I would like to blame J’zargo for any flaws the plan had.
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(Third person POV)
They opened the door and stepped out to find an entire Platoon of 35 guards that were on their way to report to their commanding officer. The Platoon and the Tamrielians looked at each other for a moment.
“What are you doing out of your cell…” The Lieutenant leading them asked without any perceptible expression.
“I had to pee.” Skoruligr said with a straight face (He wasn’t wearing his helmet at the time.).
The Lieutenant just continued to look at him with that royal guard trademark lack of expression, clearly not amused.
“Tough crowd. Um…” Skoruligr said scratching the back of his head and after a second just shrugged. “iiss… SLEN NUS!” Skoruligr used his Ice Form shout and an icy blue wave went through the platoon, immobilizing the first several rows in a layer of ice where they couldn’t move a muscle, not like that’s any different from what they do all day anyways. The back rows were unfrozen but the first rows blocked them from getting pass, even the ceiling was too low for the Pegasi to fly through. The Tamrielians took this chance to run away, knowing it wouldn’t take long for them to break out.
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After a few minutes of navigating the twists and turns of the castle they heard the hoof-falls of about 18 guards coming up from behind them. Out of necessity they entered and hid in the nearest room to avoid being spotted, they hoped it would be empty at this early hour. They kept an ear to the door holding their breath until they heard to hoof-falls of that Squad go by the door and back down the hall until they couldn’t hear them anymore. They released their breath in a sigh of relief and heared somepony clear their throat from inside the room.
They turn around to see a white stallion earth pony sitting at a mahogany desk. He wore an olive drab jacket with various medals and ribbons on it and a short grey cropped mane. Behind him was a large painting of him saluting with a waving equestrian flag. On his desk were various pictures of usually his family, but one was a photo of him at a barbeque with his family and Princess Celestia flipping veggie burger patties at the grill wearing an apron saying “Kiss the Princess.”. Engraved on the front of his desk was “General Ponedict Arnold”
.
The general pressed a button on his desk and leaned his head over to a microphone and said “Ms. Meadows, alert the guard to triple the patrols and keep an eye out for the bipedals, also send the entire 5th infantry division to my office.” He said calmly as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening.
“Yes sir. Right on it sir.” His secretary replied, her nasal Whoofsconsin accent coming out from the speakers. The Tamrielians and the General just looked at each other for a moment.
“Huh, this isn’t my pantry. Good day sir!” Skoruligr said as he and J’zargo hastily left the room.
The general just sighed and went back to his paperwork. He’ll be up to his withers in paperwork for weeks because of this Discord fiasco. ‘I’m too old for this crap’ he thought.
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The patrols tripled, as the General requested. But the Tamrielians were long gone before they could get organized. After exiting the palace with no further complications they traveled through the back alleys of the city using a map they acquired earlier at the library. They had no further conflict until they reached the city gates protected by eight guards, most of which should go see a doctor about that shield bash to the nose. They ran for a solid five minutes before slowing down to a jog. It was nearly six o’clock now and the sun was just coming up, due to the early hour not many ponies had seen them and they had Canterlot city a good mile behind their backs. They entered the woods as soon as they could as they knew they would have plenty of guards chasing them down very soon and hoped to lose them in the forest, besides, this way was faster. “Roads are for milk-drinkers” Skoruligr always said, somehow he never got lost in the middle of the woods. He always seemed to have some sort of internal compass with a waypoint pointing right at his intended destination in his head at all times.
It would be about 5 hours walk, sooner if they jogged but they decided to save their strength.
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Even though Discord was not actively messing with them, the general changes he was making to the world were a hindrance. Flying demon chickens, as in Discord gave chickens their wish; wings large enough for them to fly, but then made them apparently out for blood. When the Tamrielians when into a clearing the started hearing the demonic noises echoing from all directions.
“CLUCK CLUCK B’GOK b’gok b’gok b’gok”
“What was that noise?” J’zargo said, shifting his eyes left and right.
“Evil…” Skoruligr said grimly. Most believe chickens to be just a bunch of dumb animals, not capable of evil. Skoruligr was not so easily fooled.
When he was but a “cub” (as his father Ulfr always called him when he was a child), he lived on a farm a just few miles out from Whiterun in Skyrim. One day he was assigned to feed the chickens and decided to bring his new puppy with him, even though he was feeding them their blasted seeds they had other ideas… While he was sprinkling their seed they swarmed his new puppy, completely covering him in a pile of ravenous poultry, and when the swarm dispersed the puppy was gone, no trace of his existence.
It was that day Skoruligr realized there was great evil in the world that must be stopped, or punished. Later that night he went to the chicken coop where the foul beats slept and sealed it’s only entrance, and then burned their blasted coop to the ground. He then set out into the night to faraway lands to become a hero, to bring justice and honor back to the world. Bandits, Necromancers, Murderers, Arsonists, Jaywalkers, and of course chickens. No evil was safe from his wrath.
“Incoming!” J’zargo warned and pointed to the sky. There it was, a chicken with wings the size of a eagle’s diving at high speeds towards them. “What is that thing?” J’zargo said as it got closer. It dove right at them, and hit head first on Skoruligr’s shield.
“A red splatter on my shield is all it is.” Skoruligr said triumphantly. He appeared to not be afraid, but in truth he had to fight to urge to shudder at the thought of flying chickens.
“By the twin moons! There are more of them!” J’zargo shouted. There were several dozen of them circling them from above and they all started diving at them.
The chickens were still no match, they dove in large numbers but the Tamrielians fought valiantly. J’zargo used chain lightning to dispatch large groups of them, and any that got too close met their end face first against Skoruligr’s shield, or cleaved in two by the panacea that is his sword.
This whent on for several minutes before a shadow came over them. They looked up and saw over a hundred of the foul fowl, enough to blot out the sun!
“RUN!” Skoruligr shouted and began running in the opposite direction followed by J’zargo. They ran though the foliage as fast as they could but the airborne poultry were too fast. Seeing that they could not run fast enough on flat ground they started running down a steep slope. However it was too steep and covered in vines so they both tripped on ivy and began to roll down the slope before changing their roll into a slide. As they slid down Skoruligr stopped his descent long enough to look back to see the chickens gaining on them, but also saw that they were crowded and lined up.
“yol… TOOR SHUL!” Skoruligr used his fire breath shout and a 20 foot round blast of fire went forward for nearly 60 feet, engulfing the pursuing swarm in flames. Before he could cheer at the defeat of his mortal enemies he noticed their flaming carcasses continued to dive towards him and had to dodge an incoming flaming chicken. The Tamrielians spent all their attention dodging chickens they didn’t see that the slope they were sliding down on ended in an upward ramp and they were fast approaching it.
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Stephen Magnet the Fabulous Sea Monster was happy. He never regretted moving to Whitetail wood, It was MUCH nicer here that that drab Everfree forest. But the best thing was that his mustache had finally fully grown back, his beautiful, fabulous mustache. There will be no mustache murdering wisps of smoke here, nope none of that happens in Whitetail, just Everfree.
That’s when those two things came flying by him and the big shiny grey one grabbed onto his beautiful mustache to break his fall, but the 400 pounds of muscle and steel were too much for his fabulous mustache and half off it was ripped right out from the roots.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHahohuhuh!” He felt great physical pain from it, but that was nothing compared to the heart-break. It was like losing a limb, it took a year for his mustache to grow back and will be even longer this time, but it would never be the same…
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It took them a few minutes to get their bearings after the flight, luckily the thick canopy of the trees broke most of their fall and some healing potion fixed up any broken bones they had. The rest on the journey went without further obstacles and they made their way to the temple in a couple hours.
The entrance was nothing special, just a plain old cave opening, you would never be able to tell it was anything other than a cave from just looking at it from the outside. After going in there was about 5 minutes of twists and turns before finally reaching the first chamber.
The first chamber was large and rectangular, with four support columns. Everything in there was plain with apparently no detail put into it except the door on the wall opposite where they came. The door was about 10 foot square and had eight ornate small circles all arranged into a larger circle and there was no visible handles or levers to open the door.
The Tamrielians walked across the room to the door. There were what appeared to be 5 piles of twigs and small tree branches that didn’t appear very noteworthy, until they stood up on four legs and looked at them with glowing amber eyes of course.
You probably know these as Timberwolves from Family Appreciation Day episode but I will describe them anyways. Or I can just provide a picture.
There were five timberwolves, two on the right, two on the left and one on the far side of the room. The timberwolves growled at their prey as Skoruligr unsheathed his sword and J’zargo was getting ready to use the flames spell. The timberwolves charged at the Tamrielians and J’zargo cast his flames spell unleashing a continuous jet of flames from his hands, but the timberwolves didn’t seem to care, all that served to do is make the Tamrielians have to fend off timberwolves that were now on fire.
One of the timberwolves leapt at Skoruligr and he swung his sword down in an overhead swing lodging his blade two inches deep into to wolves head. While the sword was stuck in to the wolves head it continued to swipe at Skoruligr with its claws and another one of its brethren made an attack of opportunity by attempting to tackle Skoruligr from the side causing him to stagger, but Skoruligr manage to shake off his timberwolf off.
When that timberwolf lunged at Skoruligr for a second time, Skoruligr spun around with its brethren’s head still stuck on his sword and smacked him mid-lunge with his fellow pack-member. The force of impact dislodged his sword from one timber wolf and sent the other flying into a pillar. Skoruligr approached the timberwolf against the pillar and thrust his sword into its heart, killing it in seconds.
When Skoruligr pulled his sword out he turned around and saw another timberwolf mid-leap just in time to dodge barely and have its claws scrape against his helmet. The timberwolf landed at Skoruligr’s feet and jumped up to tear out his throat, but he countered with a sword pommel to the throat causing the timberwolf to fall onto its back. When the timberwolf got back onto its feet Skoruligr threw a shield punch to its jaw that he put all his weight into, sending it flying into the stone wall face first with a loud *CRACK* as it broke various vital pieces of timber and fell to the ground motionless as it’s glowing amber eyes began to dim.
After Skoruligr had dispatched his second timberwolf, the one he had just used as a blunt instrument had regained its senses and got back to its feet. It saw that Skoruligr had his back turned and incorrectly thought he was off-guard. It leapt into the air towards what he thought was going to be his victim, but Skoruligr just calmly stepped to the side and held out his shield where he was just standing. The timberwolf’s snout slammed againt the thick metal shield with a dull *BONK*.
“Thought I had forgotten all about you didn’t ‘cha?” Skoruligr said with a smirk hidden behind his helmet. The timberwolf quickly recovered and made another lunge and Skoruligr raised his shield in defense, but the timberwolf landed on the shield and held on with its forelegs and tried to reach Skoruligr’s throat with its maw. Skoruligr retaliated by slamming his sword pommel against the side of the timberwolf’s head and attempted to shake it off to no avail. Seeing how didn’t work he shield-bashed the wall with the timberwolf still on, to no avail. In a final attempt to liberate his shield from the timberwolf he lifted it high and pointed it to the ceiling as if he were trying to block falling debris and shouted. “fus… RO DAH!” His Unrelenting force shout pushed the timberwolf’s head back and by extension, it’s body, with enough force to pull it off the shield on have it go flipping through the air for 40 feet. When it came back down it landed on its right hind leg with enough force to snap it backwards. With only 3 functional legs it attempted to get up, but was interrupted by Skoruligr’s steel boot coming down on its neck, the powerful stomp crushing the life out of the timberwolf.
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J’zargo had a few problems with the invasion of personal space that two of the flaming timberwolves were committing. Without sufficient space to cause some arcane carnage he unsheathed the ebony sword Skoruligr had forged with legendary craftsmanship and kept his right hand free and ready to claw. One of the timberwolves lunged at J’zargo and he responded by dodging right and moving forward at the same time and impaled the timberwolf in the side. J’zargo dug his claws into the side of the timberwolf’s face and pulled out his blade and threw the timberwolf onto its pack mate. While the two timberwolves were on the ground atop each other J’zargo prepared his Ice Spear spell to impale them both, but when he threw the spear the bottom uninjured timberwolf got out from under his brethren in time to avoid the same fate of being spiked to the ground.
The released timberwolf recovered quickly and lunged at J’zargo. Because of the short distance J’zargo could do nothing but raise his sword in attempt to block the timberwolf with the flat of his blade. The weight of the timberwolf caused J’zargo to be knocked off his feet and onto his back. The only thing keeping the timberwolf from tearing out J’zargo’s throat was the flat of an ebony sword lifting its head up too far to reach, J’zargo rolled to the side to get free from underneath the timberwolf and once his sword was free he brought it down like a hammer, crushing the timberwolf’s jaw with the pommel. J’zargo quickly got to his feet and leapt backward a few times to gain distance but the timberwolf got to its feet before J’zargo could reduce it to ash. With 20 feet between them the timberwolf charged, and rather than dodge J’zargo brandished his ebony sword with both hands and did the same while bellowing a war cry.
When to two were within a close distance the timberwolf sprung into the air toward J’zargo’s upper torso, but J’zargo ducked without stopping his charge and swung his sword in both hands in an overhead swing with all his might. The ebony sword pierced the timberwolf’s wooden sternum and went out its back; the blade continued down the timberwolf’s body, splitting it down the middle going with the grain of the wood, not unlike one would split firewood with an axe. The timberwolf then fell to the ground behind J’zargo split down the middle from its sternum down, and squirmed on the ground for a few seconds before it’s glowing eyes dimmed and all movement ceased.
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(Skoruligr’s POV)
“Nothing like an ambush to get the blood circulating!” I said triumphantly. I turned to look at the state J’zargo was in to see my Khajiit companion panting and sweating. “By talos, what happened to you? You look like you got in a wrestling match with a frost troll!” J’zargo merely looked back at me; he was too busy catching his breath to respond.
With no more apparent threats I took a closer look at the door that I assumed lead into the temple. It was large stone door with no handles or hinges in sight, and it had eight circles with carvings of animals arranged into one large circle, upon further inspection it appeared the smaller pieces were removable and it then became painfully obvious it was a puzzle door, because apparently all dungeon makers think themselves clever and original by installing puzzle doors instead of a more conventional one. The eight depicted animals were: Horse, bat, lion, goat, snake, Pegasus, eagle, lizard.
After a few minutes of making educated guesses and then half an hour of completely random choices, J’zargo and I were baffled. Usually in old Nordic ruins they were stupid enough to leave the answer somewhere in the room, but a thorough search showed this one wasn’t going to make it so easy for us. After thinking back on previous puzzles I have solved I remembered that in a nordic ruin named Ansilvund at one point I was in a situation similar to this, but found the answer in a book with related history to the place. I went through my pack and J’zargo and I began skimming though the books we brought related to Discord and his temple. After nearly an hour J’zargo had found something, one of the depictions of Discord was an odd serpent like being consisting of several different animals.
Using the depiction of the Spirit of Disharmony as a reference, we rearranged the puzzle pieces in the order they appear on him. He had a horses’ head, right Pegasus wing, right paw is that of a lion, etcetera. After we arranged the pieces in the order of: (Clockwise) Horse, Pegasus, lion, lizard, snake, goat, eagle, bat; we heard a clicking sound, and the door slowly began to lower into to the floor… to reveal a set of upside-down stairs leading into the temple. Why would you install upside-down stairs? How in Ysmir’s name are you supposed to use those?! (Oh wait, the greybeards named me Dragon of the North, which means that I’m Ysmir now.) As we further progressed though the temple, we learned its best to not question the design of temple devoted to a Spirit of Chaos. We just needed to get in there, and find out what intelligence against Discord we could.
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[Holy dooley! It took me way too long to get this chapter done! Thanks guys for the support you have given thus far, and please be sure to give constructive criticism if you have any! It took a bit long to get this chapter done due to my job, minor writer’s block, and copious amounts of procrastination. The next chapter won’t take as long. Probably. Maybe… Hopefully. If you are worried about the lack of mane 6 in this one, don’t. Later chapters will have them, and even after Discord is taken care of Skoruligr and the Ponies will still have much aaaAAAADVENTURE.
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I really liked this chapter!
It was good to see some bloody good action! That's what skyrim is all about. Nice refrence of all of the quests! 
I hope for the next! Godspeed and godluck!
Ysmir.
Skoruligr: "J'zargo, grab my beard!"
*J'zargo tugs at Skoruligr's beard*
Skoruligr: ADVENTURE!
This is exactly what came to mind when you ended with 'Adventure!'.
Im in woodshop. My wood is mahogany, but it wasn't 300 feet tall, nor did it breath fire...
317663 Haha, I work in a woodshop too, I make memorial boxes and whatnot. Ever since I saw that episode of DBZ parody I have wanted to make a mahogany desk when no one was around.
Love the chapter and I enjoyed the DBZ abridged input. Keep goin and stay golden^^
Looks pretty fuckin shweet.
319977 Thanks! Your story, "A Dragonborn, Destiny, and Very Small Horses" is what made me want to make a Skyrim/MLP crossover.
319995 <3
LOL This story is so funny.
when is this story updated? just curious to know when i get my fix (as in, is it updated daily, bi-daily, weekly etc.) not to be imposing or anything, i know how much deadlines suck
4th wall
watching and faving
4th wall
watching and faving
427906 I haven't been getting much time write, but a new chapter should hopefully be up in 2-3 days. I post chapters when they are done pretty much, my busy life doesn't allow me to set deadlines but I try to get them out soon as possible without sacrificing quality.
Hmm... Interesting. I'll keep an eye on this story.
428040 It's been six weeks dude :/
643421 I know, Everything I've written so far I haven't considered good enough. Not that I've written much, hopefully I'll be able to actually write something good in the near future.
When are you going to update!? This is a very good story, plus the fact that if you can handle Sheogorath you could easily handle the God of Chaos or anything for that matter.
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