Pinkie Pie has a wonderful life. Surrounded by friends and family, she has everything she could ever want, and never stops smiling. One Hearth's Warming Eve, however, that all changes when Pinkie Pie is abducted and subject to horrific cruelty.
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I thought a story's character has to be actual characters rather than the gory content.
Seriously this is barely a story. In fanfiction it is an expectation that the characters at least resemble the characters of the show. Here none of them do, none at all. Especially Applejack and Rainbow Dash.
What makes the story worse is that it stated in one part why it doesn't work. Rainbow Dash is far from stupid, let alone a dumb blonde for the slaughter. Hell a few episodes ago showed us just why that scene would not work. She is observant of her surroundings, likely developed so she does not bash her head to often, and she would probably read the room. Also common sense of not trusting anyone living alone in the forest where you are looking for your abducted friend.
Also you had Aj disabled by a hit of a shovel. Applejack is an Earthy pony and is capable of smashing trees out of their roots. I am pretty sure it would take worlds more than a shovel to hurt her. Even then we are talking about someone hurting her friends. The only result of that would be the killer's guts being squeezed out of him like toothpaste. To Aj friends are family, and she would shatter mountains to protect family. Or burst out of a shallow grave, which given the fact all earth ponies are very very strong, seems a far more likely situation.
I am definitely giving this story a down vote. It just does not bother creating any characters and focuses on gore. The gore itself is not even very good. The character acting in character would only kill the story as well, as if made competent they would have survived or killed the murderer.
Its the same mistake that Michael Bay makes all the time. Focusing so much on a singular aspect, in his case action and yours gore, that it really loses impact and becomes just foolish.
Also likelyhood of Regal intervention extremely, extremely likely. Pinkie Pie does sleep. She would have nightmares. Then the killer would have night terrors that would make hell seem like a trip to the spa as Luna figures things out. Luna could have done it even after and now, and thus they would have already found the killer.
Ignoring the factors and information that would give your story a quick end only makes a story even weaker than it already is.
Now the most interesting part of the story begins: The repercussions!
Oh author, you really, really didn't disappoint, you beautiful human, you! Thank you so fucking much!
4556467 It's funny just how wrong you are.
sto·ry [stawr-ee, stohr-ee]
noun; plural: sto·ries.
1. a narrative, either true or fictitious, in prose or verse, designed to interest, amuse, or instruct the hearer or reader; tale.
2. a fictitious tale, shorter and less elaborate than a novel.
3. such narratives or tales as a branch of literature: song and story.
4. the plot or succession of incidents of a novel, poem, drama, etc.
5. a narration of an incident or a series of events or an example of these that is or may be narrated, as an anecdote, joke, etc.
Incorrect. In Fanfiction, the expectation is exactly what the characters wouldn't/couldn't do in the show. Just tell me how many real slice of life fanfics you've read this week? More to the point: who cares? Why does it need to be a story according to what the show says? Who made you General Imagination-Killer? This is a story, and you wishing it isn't won't change the fact.
"A few episodes ago" can get on its knees and suck my balls. A fanfic or an author doesn't have to follow show canon as it progresses in real time if they don't want to. The show could turn RD into a pony with PhD in astrophysics and I wouldn't give a fuck.
"Appeal to common sense" fallacy. Especially in a land where 99% of the population is trustworthy as fuck.
He hit her head, not her hooves. The skull may be one of the densest bones in the [human] body, but it doesn't change significantly on the Mohs' scale just because we're comparing [non-pathological] leucodermas with melanodermas.
Are you, by any chance, a veterinarian with a specialty on equines? No? Then I don't give two shits about what you are pretty sure of. Matter of fact, even if you were, we're talking about a story; so suck it up.
Because you want to or because it really would happen? Because, as of now, it mostly seems the former.
Do you even know what happens when you're buried alive? The weight of the dirt doesn't allow your thorax to expand, suffocating you. And not only that, the dirt itself clogs in your airways, easily and quickly killing you. Even the strongest man in the world doesn't have the diaphragm and intercostal muscles to win a lot of pressure on top of his thorax.
"Stop doing what I don't like, guuuuuuys!"
As if a story only focused on gore is a bad thing in and on itself. As if a story only focused on gore can't have other meaningful aspects. As if a story focused on gore isn't a story.
Yes, as if a dismembered and tortured on-character Pinkie Pie would be able to kill anyone. Your pretentiousness is so fucking big that you claim to be the only one who would know what a character would do in a off-canon situation whilst remaining in-character. Do you see the extent of the bullshit you're saying?!
Did you even read the story? For fuck's sakes, if you at least want to be taken seriously, you should try doing things right!
Except the author has whatever freedom he wishes to state "this happens before Luna is shown to dreamgaze".
Ignoring the factors and information that would give your miserable excuse of an argumentation a quick end only makes your miserable excuse of an argumentation even weaker than it already is.
Closing thoughts: Honestly, you should've just said "I'll downvote this because I dislike gore" and you'd look less like an idiot.
4556471 That does not explain how i am wrong. He relies, like a lot of people unfortunately, on us thinking these characters are themselves without trying to make them the characters.
Also let us not forget that these characters have fought hordes of feral changelings, outsmarted a draconequs, and who knows what else. They are intelligent and competent individuals. The characters in this story are not those characters. Not to mention that, by the end of the day, the killer if far from a worthy killer of these characters, let alone someone capable of it. As i said before, Applejack could take far more than a hit from a shovel by a mediocre unicorn. She has emotional drive to kill him. Horror only works if rage does not take its place, and with Applejack, who has faced several dangerous situations before, she would be very angry. Seeing what happened to Rainbow Dash would piss her off and then she would kill him. Crushed him, ignoring injury. She has faced dire situations before, arguably ones far more dire than in this story. No reason for her not to react with rage other than plot convenience.
Put simply it is contrived that he would even begin to succeed in this. Even if we ignore that the mane six are far more competent than what is portrayed in this story, the Regal Sisters would personally involve themselves. It would be a personal and a national concern both for them. He would have been found very quickly with the resources and magic they have.
The story tries to rely on us thinking these characters are themselves. Its a trick to create sympathy and horror without actually putting effort into the characterization. If they were competent, as this story goes, they would have defeated the killer already and not have lost anyone.
The obsession with gore over any attempt at real storytelling is obvious because Pinkie's face would have been bandaged up, and attempt to reconstruct her face with magic already underway. Ignoring common sense and the characters for the sake of what little story there is.
4556467 You've been a member for 30 minutes. Stop creating sockpuppet accounts just so you can post long, incoherent rants and downvote this story.
You seem to not understand the difference between what the charcters know and what the reader knows. Remember, Rainbow Dash approached a cabin in the woods because she got lost collecting firewood. Any rational person would try to find shelter in that situation.
Pokey lives in Ponyville. Rainbow Dash and Applejack both know him, and that's why they both approached him. They didn't suspect anything wrong because they did not know Pokey was a serial killer.
One of Applejack's legs, and both her kneecaps were broken. It doesn't matter how much muscle power you have at your command, you're not going to use it after your bones and ligaments are disabled. Even if her legs were intact, it's no simple task to simply claw yourself out from under four feet of dirt, especially with hooves.
A royal intervention was not possible before Twilight took the throne because the Royal Sisters were absent. They are across the ocean. Additionally, Luna has only been shown visiting the dreams of fillies.
As for you accusation of this story being nothing but gore, well, that's the whole point of a gorefic, now isn't it?
4556569
You ever heard of this beautiful, highly subjective thing called "pathos"? You ought to look it up.
And? That doesn't mean shit. The author has freedom to do whatever he wishes to. Canon amounts to jack shit here.
Again, says you.
He is there to make us feel hatred towards him and empathy towards Pinkie Pie. It's kind of obvious now how the author made the whole torture thing more of a plot device for things to come.
Repeated: He hit her head, not her hooves. The skull may be one of the densest bones in the [human] body, but it doesn't change significantly on the Mohs' scale just because we're comparing [non-pathological] leucodermas with melanodermas.
Repeated: Are you, by any chance, a veterinarian with a specialty on equines? No? Then I don't give two shits about what you are pretty sure of. Matter of fact, even if you were, we're talking about a story; so suck it up.
The more you type the more it seems like you are badmouthing the story for some sort of magical talking equine equivalent of social justice.
Are you a PhD in thaumatology? Are you a creator of the show? Oh wait, my mistake, this is fiction and, therefore, even if you were, it would, again, amount to jack shit.
Who's to say they can regenerate her with magic?
Repeating: Are you a PhD in thaumatology? Are you a creator of the show? Oh wait, my mistake, this is fiction and, therefore, even if you were, it would, again, amount to jack shit.
Common sense in a magical universe?! Are you listening to what you're saying?!
Repeating: "Appeal to common sense" fallacy. Especially in a land where 99% of the population is trustworthy as fuck.
4556574 Wait, he's a sockpuppet? I had seen his user page and noticed just how coincidentally recent his account was created; but I didn't think you were being targeted for hate, Tapoff. In my honest opinion, author, this means that you've succeeded in making some foals a bit saddlesore.
Anywho; wow... this makes this pathetic attempt even more hilarious!
4556574 I would presume every time someone creates valid criticisms of your story you accuse them of being the same person. Otherwise you would be forced to think that there is actual flaws in your story. Such as Rainbow Dash being suspicious of why he lives in this cabin in the woods, the same place where she has a feeling her friend might be found. It was out of character for her to be so stupid as to not be suspicious.
Actually the show has long since disproved your excuse i think. Luna visits all dreams, although i think that was already obvious. Proven by the fact she knew of Sapphire Shore's dreams were often of dolphins and her love of them. So there is absolutely no reason why she would not be alerted to this other than you seemingly ignoring all possible and easy solutions that disable your narrative. Them both being gone across the sea as well.
That is where you show you lack or understanding or care for these characters. It would hurt her, yes. It would not stop her though. She once stayed awake for days doing continuous hard labor. A broken leg would not stop her period. It simply understanding the character, which your story lacks. and considering her strength is so great that she can tear down trees, she could probably and easily escape being buried alive. Not to mention she would not have ended up in that situation to begin with cause that would not have been enough to hurt her. If her bones and ligements can survive unleashing the force needed to bust down a tree, a mediocre unicorn with a shovel is not going to break a thing. Hurt her yes, but not nearly enough to keep her from killing him. Basically the math does not work. The joints are more vulnerable but i have no reason to believe this unicorn would be able to do this, and there is evidence showing that the joints could take far more damage than he can unleash.
This latest chapter is the most obvious part of why this story is gore. Pinkie would have had her faced bandaged up period, if to save her some dignity. Instead you have it uncovered cause you care more for gore than anything.
Also Twilight's reaction was underwhelming. She would not break down crying, she would probably fly into a fiery rage after realizing someone had hurt three of the most important beings in her life. A normal person would be left emotionally broken. Twilight not only is not a normal person but also has enormous raw power, power that could be triggered and affected by her emotions. In other words we would have a rage blind unicorn burning down the forest in an attempt to kill whoever did this.
These are character who went against fallen gods and demons more than once. Why would a mere psychotic like that killer stand or be a threat to them? They would respond with aggression and rage, not fear. Any other situation just makes your villain a villain sue.
4556657 I have already explained why all of your "valid criticisms" are merely "my opinion and not yours!" melodrama. If, however, you insist on making a fool out of yourself, then by all means, carry on.
4556640 Yeah, this is his third account, I believe. It's easy to tell by his massive, incoherent walls of text. He has some kind of personal vendetta against this story. Pretty immature if you ask me.
Thanks for defending my work, by the way. I appreciate it.
4556611 Absolutely nothing you have listed succeeds in defending the story. Believe it or not, even in a fanfiction if not especially, Canon does apply. Most will want to see these characters as themselves. Most people will realize these characters are not themselves, and would be far from convinced overall that this rather low level threat could even kill them. They have stood against fallen gods and beings of chaos. He is both in narrative unworthy of killing them, and incapable of threatening or frightening them. Not to mention the insanity of killing someone so close to Demigods.
The biggest error is that he is seemingly using common sense in his writing. Applejack is strong enough to destroy buildings and uproot trees, yet he is using common sense that a shovel could actually hurt her. He is thinking it is common sense Rainbow Dash would not smell anything fishy, when Rainbow Dash has encountered situations that were far from common. Hell he even ignored the common sense of a species seemingly evolved from prey items even indulging in predatory activities like serial killing, or even that Rainbow Dash, being an equine with most of the Equine features intact, could smell blood from the villain.
To answer that other message i saw, i am not a puppet. Put simply he does not want to acknowledge someone is criticizing his story and is simply saying i am someone else because he lacks the maturity.
4556701 Well, I defended it because nothing he was saying had any validity (and I have a very low tolerance for bullshit... especially the ones of the pretentious variety).
If he was honestly willing to hand you valid criticism, then I would allow him, since that would only mean that, at worst, you would improve the upcoming chapters with the newfound knowledge.
4556721 Argument from (personal) incredulity; appeal to common sense; argumentum ad populum; argumentum ad antiquitatis and argumentum novitatis; argumentum ad antiquitam; tu quoque. My my, you're really trying to poison the well today!
Wait, isn't that what you are advocating? Are you, perchance, getting your opinions--I'm sorry, valid criticism--mixed up? Is it getting hard, trying to twist your words so they sound nothing like what they did in the beginning? Nah... you clearly don't know what you're saying.
Tally ho, however. One day, sense will come. Until then, it's pizza time for me!
Let it be known to all who explore these that I hate secrecy:
i.imgur.com/iEjmAyY.png
Link for better reading
What exactly is Twilight feeling guilty for? She did all she could for a mare in her position it wasn't like she KNEW where that Pokey freak was holding the poor girl. If you don't mind explaining it of course.
4557418 Good question. Twilight is stressed due to the immense responsibility of handling the search effort for Pinkie and running a country at the same time. She regrets not acting as soon as she could have to save Pinkie, and feels that Pinkie's suffering was somehow her fault (even there was nothing she could have done, as one day wouldn't have made any difference).
On the same note, Pinkie is experiencing Post-Tramatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Survivor Guilt.
1st written comment and all i have to say is i love this story.why? Good use of the Traumatized Character in this story the use of stress for lack of ability to do something how Pokey would kill 2 mares to protect his secret and beautiful use of gore.i would say more but i generalize things.
4559639 Thank you! You won't be dissapointed with what comes next!
Well, this story is getting better and better. To be honest, while the gore was great it was getting slightly dull. Now that we have psychological problems added in I can't wait for more.
In response to the wonderful reading in the comments section of this chapter, I really wish I had read this chapter when that was going on. I do love seeing an angry hater have all his points shot down. And better yet, he kept trying. I would have pointed out a few more of his flaws, but alas, I was too late. Keep up the good work Tapoff, I await more.
4557916
Thanks for taking the time to explain. Yeah she's going to need a lot of support and care from her friends and family in order for her to heal poor girl. and poor twilight
4642492 Was this in reply to strangesaviour?
4642492 Wanna argue the mechanics of suffocation (which, in turn, drags a discussion about the mechanics of ventilation) with a med student? Fair enough. Though I first request your sources and proper grammar. Meanwhile, I can quote mine!
Guyton & Hall's - Textbook of Medical Physiology; 12th edition (2010)
Goldman & Ausiello - Cecil's Textbook of Medicine; 24th edition (2011)
Robbins & Cotran - Pathologic Basis of Disease; 9th edition (2014)
and last (and definitely least)
Harrison - Principles of Internal Medicine; 18th edition (2011)
Honestly, I don't want to sound like a dick, but when you
tryfail to contradict someone who knows his shit with thisargumentpoorly-written hypothesis--as well as calling me a liar--I'm not bound to take you seriously.It just makes me go "Oh, he's so cute in his "I'm a big boy; I know stuff"-pants!"
To summarize: you wrote words. I can do it too: pickle.
You may be wondering about the "experiment" in which a person can can take a car's weight on his "chest". Well, the wheel is actually on top of his thoracoabdominal region and he's basically building intra abdominal pressure with his abdominal muscles, not his thoracic ones. Granted, they are used as compensatory muscles for ventilation (mainly in patients with COPD), but the main effort to decrease intra thoracic pressure lies with the diaphragm.
4662597 Yes, it's all very easy when one has to say "believe in me, people, because I know stuff but I don't actually have sources to back up my claim! For realsies!". The "I can't be bothered with you, simpleton" is just the cherry on top. Wonderful argumentation right there.
Even though you like the story, you're acting just like the jerkwad hating on it above (strangesavior). At least try to use the reply function properly.
What the fuck are you on about?! That was not the initial premise that sparked this mostly one-sided argumentation. Nor did I claim one can't.
Proper argumentation is never stupid. At least you get out of it more knowledgeable than before... even if merely on proper spelling.
Yes... that is exactly what I said to strangesavior, defending Tapoff.
Those two make no sense. The fact that it is a fanfic gives Tapoff permission to do whatever he pleases.
4666592
Lovely... Just lovely... I can't get it over my head that people actually prefer being wrong than having their feelings hurt.
This is not about winning. This is about factual information. This is what you're not understanding. I'm not here to pick a fight; you're the one who came to me and called me a liar when I can actually back up my claims.
Yes, those are pretty much a given.
Before I go into this further, something from the story itself:
While it is true that adrenaline increases muscular performance and decreases the threshold of pain (further increasing muscular performance to the point of self-harm for the sake of "fight or flight"), you have to remember that her tibia snapped. It was fractured. Yes, adrenaline would be able to "muscle her through" the pain, but she lost bone stability! Her bones cannot properly hold the pressure of her weight, rendering her leg completely useless. Not to mention that he ruins her other perfectly able leg too, which means she has two useless legs. And she's beneath four feet of dirt. You might think that it isn't that much, but that volume of dirt weighs a LOT (1.25g/cm³ or 78lb/foot³, to be precise). Yeah, we may not know what's the area of AJ's body facing the dirt, but that's at least 141.5 kg (312lb) of dirt on top of her, bearing a force of at least 1415N over her diaphragm, which is not a strong muscle (seeing as it only shifts its intra-alveolar pressure in about 15mmHg in humans {I'd estimate that horses would be able to vary pressures of 30-50mmHg}). Regardless of that (and her body surface; unless she's either a frigging giant or the size of an atom), the dirt would not allow her to breathe! There! Do you see it now?
Now this is something I didn't know. I doubt it'd make a difference, though.
HER BONES WERE JUTTING OUT OF HER BODY! Not to mention that adrenaline isn't the physiological equivalent of morphine! Yes, it makes you agitated so "you" can't focus on the pain, dulling it, but it isn't powerful enough to make an exposed fracture virtually painless to extra stress!
Your age does not matter in this. The fact that you have dyslexia, though, does. And I apologize for being nitpicky with your spelling in this case. Though, again, this isn't about fighting. This is about mixing personal opinions with factual information, something that should never be tolerated.
stream1.gifsoup.com/view3/1767326/guy-punching-computer-screen-o.gif
Why is this listed in the "clopfics" group?
Tapoff pls update
I discovered this story last night, and devoured it in a pulse-pounding session. It's relatively well-written. If it weren't, I wouldn't have deigned to read the second chapter.
However, I feel like there are some issues with characterization, especially with the Mane Six outside of Pinkie Pie. Please understand that these are simply personal views, based off my understanding of the show. I welcome debate if you feel I am incorrect in my assumptions.
The first problem, as I see it, is with your interpretation of Twilight. From every previous episode of the show, I see her taking at most a few hours to prepare before running headlong at what the problem might be. In "Applebuck Season," it's Twilight who, once she realizes that Applejack's sleep deprivation is causing problems, immediately sets off and badgers her friend until she accepts her help. In "Dragonshy," she gives the Mane six perhaps half an hour to prepare before they head off to confront a dragon. In "Swarm of the Century," when she realizes the problem the parasprites are having, her first act is to gather her friends, and her second is to confront the parasprites directly.
"Winter Wrap Up" shows a Twilight who throws herself completely into a new activity, despite having almost no direct knowledge of what she will be doing. In "Green Isn't Your Color," the only reason she doesn't act to stop the current insanity is because her friends separately swear her to silence; you can see the toll not acting takes on her.
These are simply observations from the first season. This trend continues through the rest of the other three seasons. I find it difficult to believe that Twilight would not do anything more than research during a week, especially when the evidence she gathered with five minutes of a record book suggests that there is a serial killer in the area.
It might be argued that Twilight didn't want to disappoint Celestia or Luna. The problem with that is that Twilight has been shown in the past to disregard Celestia's direct orders in time of dire need (see "The Crystal Empire, Part 2"). And having one-sixth of the greatest national defense force go missing is certainly a dire need.
My second issue is with the portrayal of how Dash was taken down. We'll disregard how a character who has been shown to have a near-perfect photographic memory while flying got lost in a forest, for now; she was on hoof, in the middle of a forest, at night. My problem comes with how she was subdued in the basement.
Consider the evidence we have of Rainbow Dash's fighting ability. In "Dragonshy," she was able to kick a dragon hard enough in the face to send its face back several yards. In "Call of the Cutie," we see her in a dojo, wearing a gi with a black belt. (It's possible to argue that she just wore them without putting in the requisite hard work, but that begs the question of how she got away with wearing something she hadn't earned in a dojo that teaches it.) In "A Canterlot Wedding, Part 2," she displays her mastery of combat by dispatching three changelings in a matter of seconds, each with a single strike.
Pair that with the observation that a unicorn's magic can be fairly easily disrupted with a simple touch. (See "Sisterhooves Social." Sweetie Belle disrupts Rarity's magic simply by flicking her on the horn. Later, in "Princess Twilight Sparkle: Part 1", Rarity extinguishes her own out-of-control magic simply by touching her horn.)
My contention is that A) Rainbow Dash is a sufficiently powerful combatant that she could have disabled Pokey Pierce in at most a few blows, if not a single one. This is especially true, as she was attacking somepony who'd let their guard down. B) Even if he managed to stay conscious, Pokey Pierce could not have manifested the magic necessary to injure Rainbow Dash at all while she was dancing on his face. All of this tips the scales further in favor of Rainbow Dash when you consider that she just learned that one of her best friends has been tortured and maimed by a serial killer, and as such, she's probably filled with enough rage and adrenaline to match a couple dozen steroid-popping body builders.
The combination of the two above (Twilight being inexplicably passive instead of her typical activeness in tackling problems, and Rainbow Dash's navigational and combat skills being ignored) leads me to believe that Rainbow Dash was killed simply because it would lead to additional drama later on, to torture Twilight and Pinkie. I recognize that it's your story, and thus your prerogative to do with it as you please. However, killing main characters "for teh dramaz" smacks of bad storytelling, especially when it ignores previously established character traits.
I'll direct this portion more at G-AB Acid. I am neither a doctor of Thaumology, nor a veterinary doctor with a specialty in horses. However, I'm fairly sure "Doctorate of Magic" is a made-up degree, and a knowledge of veterinary medicine is relatively useless when we're talking about tiny magical cartoon ponies. As such, arguing that I need either in order to discuss a story is almost a strawman argument.
5091971 First of all, thank you so much for taking the time to read my story and tell me your thoughts. If there's one thing I appreciate, it's a well thought-out essay.
One of the biggest things I watch out for when writing is the accuracy of my characterization. Everyone has their own little headcanons about certain characters, but as you pointed out, there are undeniable traits possessed by them as well.
You made the argument that Twilight tends to act in a relatively timely manner, but you have to consider that in all of the episodes you cited, Twilight either already had all of the facts, or the stakes were relatively low. I'll cite a paragraph from chapter three:
“Would you both just stop it already?” Twilight said, raising her voice in frustration. “It’s just a hypothesis! If we just assume that there’s a serial killer on the loose, we’ll end up creating mass panic across the entire country! And that's the last thing I need right now. What if she was just injured on the way to her family’s farm?”
In this case, No one knew the reason behind Pinkie's disappearance. While yes, the possibility of a serial killer was brought up, Twilight, having learned from past mistakes, was hesitant to jump to conclusions. The announcement that the she and the other four were leaving to track down a serial killer would surely cause quite a stir. As the acting regent in the Princess's absence, that would be an organizational nightmare, something that I think we can all agree Twilight would try to avoid.
As for the Rainbow Dash memory thing, chapter four was written before the fourth season, where that detail of her character is revealed. Even if that canon was available, however, consider that Rainbow was in the middle of nowhere at night. It was pitch black, so a photographic memory wouldn't have helped much anyway. Disregarding that, you made a good point about adrenaline, the effects of which I hadn't even considered. I will probably have to edit chapter five to have RD putting up a more of a struggle, so thank you for pointing that out.
The main reason I had Rainbow Dash killed in front Pinkie was to put the final nail in the coffin in terms of her developing PTSD from the experience. This is a very important plot point that will become clear in the upcoming final two chapters.
I nevertheless appreciate you taking the time to give me some constructive criticism! It's people like you who help me improve my writing.
5094056 If I understand what you're saying correctly, then the main reason Twilight never got engaged more fully in the search is because she had no evidence that there actually was a serial killer, and did not wish to disrupt the course of Equestrian life. Furthermore, she had no proof that Pinkie hadn't simply gone to visit her family. (I feel that this begs the question of why she did not ask the Cakes to send a letter, or something of that nature to confirm.) At the very least, I understand better your reason for portraying her in that way, though I don't agree with it.
I do hope that your final two chapters justify killing Rainbow Dash and Applejack, or I shall be disappointed.
...
I can’t believe I’m saying this but... poor Pinkie! And poor Twilight too! It’s mind blowing to know how inconsiderate Equestrians could be blaming her for something that was out of her control. Even so, not even the president of the world can stop every potential tragedy and even if the person you’re rescuing dies, you at least showed care by implementing action instead of not doing anything. If I was a citizen of Equestria in a situation like this, I’d empathize with Twilight. I’d constantly remind her that it’s not her fault.
Phew... The last few chapters have been intense. You killed off best pony!
Though I have to admit, I just imagined this chapter ending with the clip from the Canterlot Wedding episode where Luna appears on screen and asks, "Did I miss anything?"
This is shaping up to be one of my favourite fics.
Aww, now the trauma is setting in. I just wanna hug her but I know she'll push me away.