It's a better start than most. The pacing is a little too fast and some more details could greatly help. Having more detailed reactions on how he transforms will help the reader understand the character's powers more. He also shouldn't be able to use his abilities on command in the first chapter. Last thing, don't make the character too adapted to this new environment. He should have to struggle to survive and not just magically know how to kill and prepare a cockatrice after a few hours of hunger.
This is good, but doesn't he seem to be taking it a little too well? He's just all like "I'm gonna make a wish! Oh my, my wish came true, I have no idea where I am, and am now a mythical shape shifting monster!" "..." "Whatever."
A bit fast paced, yes, and you don't really give your protagonist much personality. He's more of a narrator of events, a marker you follow to know where the story has gone. Proposed, you also might want to put some stricter limits on his abilities. If he can turn into anything he wishes, with whatever tools and powers he desires, it's a tad much. Boggarts didn't go around ruling the world in Harry Potter, after all...
Not sure why he's called a selfish brat for wanting to be a shapeshifter... lots of uses for that wish, he could've been a hero...BUT THEN HE WAS A BOGGART.... oh wait, he can still be a hero... just not one that people like to be near or look at. That was funny, I tell you what, even though you may not think it.
I agree with the others here, it is too fast paced and not enough description in the shape shifting. With that said, I love me a shapeshifting story, I wish there were more of them out there.
The whole experience, however, did answer an important question. He did not forcefully transform when seen by an animal.
Most animals rely purely on instinct, meaning no imagination. Imagination is the primary source of fear, meaning without imagination you would have to see the fear themselves. Due to the fact that said bear probably never encountered anything that can eat/kill bears, then that bear will have no fear until it encounters something fear-worthy.
2569279 The reason why boggarts did not rule the world is because the wizards had a large number of spells that they could use against them. Boggarts thrive on fear, so the wizards found a spell to make them less scary. They also made a containment spell to use against boggarts (the mirrored wardrobe thing).
It's a better start than most. The pacing is a little too fast and some more details could greatly help. Having more detailed reactions on how he transforms will help the reader understand the character's powers more. He also shouldn't be able to use his abilities on command in the first chapter. Last thing, don't make the character too adapted to this new environment. He should have to struggle to survive and not just magically know how to kill and prepare a cockatrice after a few hours of hunger.
This is good, but doesn't he seem to be taking it a little too well?
He's just all like "I'm gonna make a wish! Oh my, my wish came true, I have no idea where I am, and am now a mythical shape shifting monster!"
"..."
"Whatever."
Chaotic = Discord.
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/33661241.jpg
A bit fast paced, yes, and you don't really give your protagonist much personality. He's more of a narrator of events, a marker you follow to know where the story has gone. Proposed, you also might want to put some stricter limits on his abilities. If he can turn into anything he wishes, with whatever tools and powers he desires, it's a tad much. Boggarts didn't go around ruling the world in Harry Potter, after all...
That intro was so blunt but good at the same time...I love it!
Not sure why he's called a selfish brat for wanting to be a shapeshifter... lots of uses for that wish, he could've been a hero...BUT THEN HE WAS A BOGGART.... oh wait, he can still be a hero... just not one that people like to be near or look at.
That was funny, I tell you what, even though you may not think it.
No offense creepy voice but not many people would wish differently...
Ass hole....
CONFLICT YAY!
I agree with the others here, it is too fast paced and not enough description in the shape shifting. With that said, I love me a shapeshifting story, I wish there were more of them out there.
2567194 this might just be me but wouldnt ur thoughts be racing if u were in his position
Most animals rely purely on instinct, meaning no imagination. Imagination is the primary source of fear, meaning without imagination you would have to see the fear themselves. Due to the fact that said bear probably never encountered anything that can eat/kill bears, then that bear will have no fear until it encounters something fear-worthy.
2569279
The reason why boggarts did not rule the world is because the wizards had a large number of spells that they could use against them. Boggarts thrive on fear, so the wizards found a spell to make them less scary. They also made a containment spell to use against boggarts (the mirrored wardrobe thing).
2572542 like humans
Anyway, great fic. Me like, looking forward to the rest
To me, it feels like it would be slightly better if you made the first chapter a prologue and ended it here:
I think you mean Spiderwick Cronicles, I've never seen nor heard of a boggart in "Harry Potter".
Elves, goblins, thestrals... Giant, man-eating spiders. But not boggarts.
6121126 no, it's from Harry Potter. Look it up on youtube.