Chapter 2: Strange Times
Applebloom trotted towards Ponyville. On the path leading out of Sweet Apple Arces, the yellow pony looked at the wooden fence that bordered the walkway. She smiled confidently at the fence posts. She remembered that just a few years ago, she was barely half the height of the post itself. Applebloom snickered slightly, looking over the entire fence, her head towering over each of the posts that made a row alog the road. In just a short time, she manage to grow a considerable amount.
Arriving at Sugarcube Corner, Applebloom opened the door and entered to find her friends sitting at a table. With a bounce in her trot and humming a tune, she sat down with the other two ponies.
“Hiya, girls!” Applebloom cheerfully spoke, taking a seat.
“Hello, Applebloom! Happy birthday!” Sweetie Belle replied.
“Yeah, happy birthday. How are ya doing?” Scootaloo joined in as she reached down below the table and placed a small wrapped box on the table.
Applebloom smiled, “Ah’m doin’ just fine! Had one of mah favorite breakfasts, caramel-covered apple slices, and the walk over here was just wonderful!”
“Well, how about you open up your gift here?” the orange pegasus pushed the wrapped gift forward and across the table.
“Yes, open it! It’s from both of us!” Sweetie Belle added excitedly.
Taking the box, the yellow pony began to rip the paper off and open the box up. She then pulled out the item inside, a homemade red saddlebag that was embroidered with her name and a few gems. “Oh my, it’s really beautiful!”
“Glad you like it, Applebloom!” the white unicorn said.
Scootaloo continued, “Yeah, Sweetie Belle’s sister really helped us out with this one. We told her what we wanted to do, and she helped us out. Like picking the fabric out.”
“And putting it together,” Sweetie Belle added.
“And sewing your name.”
“And putting the gems on.”
“And just about everything,” Scootaloo finally admitted.
“But we had the idea!” Sweetie Belle quickly interjected with her statement.
Applebloom laughed as she placed it back in the box, “Ah really love it! Thanks Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.”
“Of course! It is your seventeenth birthday after all!” Scootaloo said, “You already look so much older.”
“Yeah, all you’re missing is your cutie mark!” the unicorn pointed out.
The orange pegasus lightly jabbed Sweetie Belle in the side for her comment, “Shush!”
“Oh, it’s fine Scootaloo,” Applebloom stated, “Ah know it’ll come in sooner or later, an’ ah’m sure that helpin’ ‘round the farm his applebuckin’ season will have me get mah mark! It’ll show up!”
“Speaking of showing up, have you seen Spike today?” Sweetie Belle looked towards Scootaloo.
“No, I haven’t. He was supposed to be here a while ago with Applebloom’s gift,” the pegasus replied with a sigh, “Leave it to the dragon to be late, huh?”
At Scootaloo’s words, the door of the bakery was opened and a panicky purple and green dragon. He looked back and forth until he saw the three female ponies sitting at the table. He hurried over to them with a box under his arm. He sat in the open seat next to Applebloom. “Sorry, I’m late. I had to….help Twilight with a few more letters and other things….” the dragon was out of breath.
Scooatloo gave a glare to him, “Nice of you to show up, Spike.”
“Oh, give him a break. He said he was sorry an’ all,” Applebloom said as she turned to face Spike, “How are ya, Spike?”
“Fine….” he was still panting from his running, “oh, before I forgot, here’s your present.” The dragon placed a small, unwrapped box on the table.
“C’mon, open it!” Sweetie Belle bursted.
Applebloom opened the box to reveal a gem. Gasping at the stone, she pulled it out to examine it. It was a glistening red ruby in a hexagon shape with a chain at one of the points to turn it into a necklace. It captivated all three ponies. “Oh mah….”
“Spike, where did you get that ruby?” Scootaloo asked, staring into the gem.
“I found it in the gem field when I was hunting for gems to eat. The color was so bold and the shape so perfect, I just had to share it with somepony. So, I figured why not a gift for Applebloom’s birthday?” Spike was finally able to speak without a shortness of breath.
“It’s gorgeous,” the unicorn added in.
The yellow mare put the necklace over her head and around her neck. “Spike….ah love it. Thank you so much.”
“Don’t mention it. So tell us, how does it feel to be seventeen?” Spike asked, eager for the answer.
“It feels really strange. Ah mean, ah am older an’ all, but at the same time, it doesn’t feel like me,” Applebloom admitted.
Scootaloo smiled and laughed, “Don’t sweat it, you’ll grow into it soon enough. I mean, look at ya! You’re growing much faster than all of us, including Spike over there.”
“But….it really feels all strange and such….like butterflies or somethin’ in mah stomach….and ah feel like ah need ta be more mature,” Applebloom admitted.
“Just give yourself some time to get used to being all grown up! You’ll be fine!" Sweetie Belle insisted.
Spike joined in, “Yeah, relax! Today is your birthday, and knowing Pinkie Pie, you’ll be getting a birthday cupcake within the minute.”
The girls giggled at Spike’s statement because the pink party pony was bouncing toward the table with the cupcake for the birthday mare. The friends continued to enjoy their time together and celebrating Applebloom’s birthday.
And now Spike comes. Which means it looks like the fun is about to begin.
This is interesting.
2543132
I don't believe they gave an age that ponies will have a cutie mark by in the show.
Well, that was better than I expected.
Apart from some clunky dialogue at the introduction with some unnecessary and, at times, superfluous repetition of Apple Bloom addressing the family I thought it worked really well. I really like how you've made it clear that this is a potential Spike x Apple Bloom shipfic, but you didn't have the relationship too forthcoming. When Spike received Apple Bloom's thanks he was very modest, and I really liked that. It shows that you're trying to take this relationship slow, which is something most authors don't like to do... for some reason...
I find it intriguing that Apple Bloom still lacks a cutie mark (although I feel that she was surprising comfortable with that fact when she was talking with her friends whom, I presume, already have their cutie marks), and I'm interested to see where you go with that. You've left yourself quite an amount of potential. I hope you realize this and make good use of it!
I'll certainly stick around for future chapters; they're nice and short and easy to read, although I fear it may take you quite a lot of chapters to tell the whole story.
One of the criticisms I feel I should voice is that you often tell the reader things which is already implied in the dialogue. Take this one for example:
In this particular instance, you already have Applejack choosing her words carefully. By telling us that she's trying not to hurt her sister's feelings (something the reader can easily pick up on by reading her dialogue alone) it kind of feels like you're forcing information we already know down the reader's throat.
But enough from me. I'm going to wait for your next installment. Good luck!
This is from your summary.
Should be thought and fully. I'll definitely be reading this later though.
2543783 Yup, the song that inspired it all.
So I see this, and I seize because THIS IS THE FAHKING BEST SHIP EVUH!
2543684 Fixing now. Thanks for point that out.
Might I make a suggestion?
Try and make the chapters a wee bit longer, (Like at least 1000) , because unless you plan on updating quickly, the reader will get bored, hope it helps.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
-Kiryu
“Don’t mention it. So tell us, how does it feel to be seventeen?” Spike asked, eager for the answer.
Pretty sure the show and interviews with the writers implies that spike is older then the CMC
Wouldn't he already know?
2544726 I have him asking that to be strike up conversation and ask the birthday mare how it feels. As for Spike's age, I'd say he's around the same age as them, probably older.
Like.
This story seems promising enough, since it isn't as rushed as others (be careful with early hints on chapter three, though, unless you intend to make this short). Besides, I love reading Spike shipfics, specially with the CMC.
Are the CMC going to still be hilariously incompetent?
2544726
Well, Big Mac asked too... Maybe he's just asking what it feel like for her? But, yeah, I think he's older, too.