• Published 28th Apr 2013
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Dr. Star Wars Chainsaw Massacre: the Next Generation is Magic - GhostWriter17

What happens when Star Wars, Star Trek, Dr. Who, and Texas Chainsaw mix with ponies? EVERYTHING.

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The Doctor and His Thoughts. Or, The Value of Character Changing and Wondering of Plot Twists and the Like

Doctor Who and Himself.

A crossover fiction wherein there are equines and space-elves.

Chapter 1.5%

By GhostWriter17


While traveling back to Twilight's house, the Doctor pondered many things. This chapter chronicles the thoughts of our hero, the Doctor, and what he discovers in his thinking. Firstly, however, you may be wondering why I, the omniscient narrator from chapter 1, have not been terribly present in the story as of late. Well, to explain such a phenomenon would actually spoil the plot of this story. Therefore, I, that is, the narrator, am not at liberty to say why I have not been present, and am also unable to say who or what I am. If you are wondering, yes, this is not comedy for the sake of cheesecakes. It is actually plot-important. Anyways, I shall be back in this story, for I play a vital role in this story. But, I cannot and will not reveal myself until the time is right. If I am revealed before the right time, there may be... Unfortunate consequences.

But enough about me, back to the Doctor, that sexy beast. Oh, you forgot the Doctor was sexy? Well, shame on you! It's not my fault I needed to have my morning coffee and forgot to remind you! Besides, you all were too swept up in the plot to remember such details! Why, for forgetting such vitally important information, I should [REDACTED].





The Doctor walked through the deserted streets of Ponyville, thoughts flooding his amazing head. As he followed Spock, he wondered of many things. Why? Why did this happen? I mean, this whole time I've been here I have hardly questioned the logic of things on this planet. Why are there brightly colored, English-speaking ponies on a distant planet with magical powers that defy all other rules of the universe? Why have I, after crashing from that rainbow light, become so much less of an asshole since landing here? When I first met Spock, I was an asshole to him! Now, I just... Can't bring myself to be so cruel to others. Sure, I'm still kinda cynical and not very trusting, but what happened to my snarkiness? Was it something in the air? The tea? That light? Or are these sickening ponies actually warming this heart of mine that I have vowed to close off?

The Doctor pondered some more, running his fingers through his perfectly wavy hair. So many questions... Eh, I'm probably overthinking it. It's probably the weirdly clean air around here or something.

Just then, Bitch The Voice entered the Doctor's mind with her bitchy powers of supreme bitchiness. Maybe it's you growing soft, Doctor! Maybe your resolve and want to be alone is dwindling! Maybe this place is affecting you! Maybe not! Maybe it's all a part of our plan! Maybe not. You may never know, Doctor. And you shall never know if you keep thinking and refuse to listen to your gut feelings and act! What haplened to that Doctor I used to know? That same Doctor who would not hesitate to take charge in any and every situation he could, not caring on whether he acted like a prick? What happened to that Doctor?

The Doctor snickered to Bitch The Voice. Oh, don't worry, Bitch. That Doctor is still here. I'm just saving him for you. For whomever killed killed Spike. For whomever trapped me here on this planet!

Bitch The Voice cackled like she always did. Well, let us tell you this, Doctor: The old Doctor we saw, the cruel, remorseless Doctor, had better come back to us. You may be forced to do something unlike anything you've ever done in this form. You may need to make sacrifices, tough choices that only the old Doctor could make! Feed the bitterness inside of you! Show us the old Doctor who had his heart broken beyond repair! Show us! Before it is too late!

The Doctor seemed slightly intimidated by The Voice, but wouldn't let it show. Listen here, Bitch. I don't know how you know of my past, or how much you know, but know this: I will find you, whoever you are. I don't care how, but somehow, I will find you, and I will make your life a living Hell on Equestria. But leave Spock and the other ponies out of this. This is now between you and me. Nobody else! Whether or not you committed the murder, whether or not you crashed me here, you will pay. Any riddles, you relay them to ME! ME! ME AND ME ALONE! Do you understand?!

Ooh, my my, Doctor! Bitch mocked, sneering. Did we just hit an... Emotional chord with you? Well, well, this certainly is interesting, my dear Doctor. Now, before you retort in anger, just remember the riddle we gave you. It may or may not be a life-saver. Of course, that is, if you solve it! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Bitch The Voice kept laughing, cackling and carrying on, presumably throwing a laughing party for herself, but the Doctor shut her out, hoping that she would choke on her own non-existent saliva. Good Time Lords, she made the Doctor angry. Anger... An emotion he had not truly shown for quite some time to another creature. What was it about this place, the inhabitants, the events unfolding around him, that made the Doctor act this way? There had to be some explanation for it. Was it magic? He didn't know, and had no time to think of it, because he was now coming up to Twilight's house... Library... Thing.

Spock opened the door to the library, and the Doctor followed. Through the wooden doorway the duo were met with Twilight and Applejack waiting for them. Both looked weary, exceptionally so. They were both seated at the wooden table from before.

"Greetings." Spock began. "We have inspected the crime scene and have uncovered many harrowing details about the murder. However, if I may make a suggestion, I believe it may be best to relay our findings back to you two in the morning."

The Doctor, looking upon the slumped shoulders, baggy, bloodshot eyes, and matted coats of the ponies, nodded in silent agreement. They look like shit. More shitty than when I first met them!

Twilight slowly rose from where she was seated, blinked a few times back and forth, to and from the Doctor and Spock, and spoke. Her voice was scratchy, possibly from limited use. "Yes. I believe that's the best course of action... Maybe. Applejack and I should probably rest for the night. You two can sleep down here. There are extra pillows and blankets in the closet by the kitchen." She sighed wearily, then looked over to her friend.

The cowpony cleared her throat. "Right. That's maybe the best. Twi and I can calm down a bit, and you two can go over what y'all found out. I reckon you're gonna stay up late?" She asked.

"I am," Spock began. "however, I am unsure of the Doctor. We discovered some odd markings at the scene, unlike any either of us have seen. I remember them vividly, and will write them down, but I may need to use the resources available in your library to accomplish this task."

Twilight smiled faintly. "That's quite alright, Mister Spock. Use whatever you need."

Spock thanked the ponies, and, over the course of the next hour or so, was shown everything he would need to "accomplish his goal". From there, the Doctor realized he was very tired, and wished to go to bed. Before he did, Applejack and Twilight went up to bed, while Spock said he'd be staying up to write out the symbols from the blood spatter and research them. As much as the Doctor wanted to stay up with the Vulcan, he found the creeping ache of sleep washing over him, and decided it best to just sleep as much as possible. So, plot twist, the Doctor slept, while Spock stayed up to work...


Twilight Sparkle crept up the stairs to her bedroom, Applejack following closely behind. As her aching bones forced themselves up the steps, she thought about how yet another day was wasted on grief and reminiscing. Once again, like many days before, Applejack and she thought of their plans for the future, if they even had any, their favorite memories of Spike, and what they could do to help stop whomever killed him. It was just all so tiring, so monotonous... So sad...

There was no energy to be found in Twilight. No spark. No determination. Nothing but a dull, aching pain. At least Applejack had been kind enough to stay with her friend. Twilight's other friends were either away or preoccupied with other things... None of them knew, to Twilight's knowledge, of Spike's murder yet, but, knowing Celestia and Equestria in general, the news had probably already spread. It didn't matter. All Twilight cared about now was sleeping.

Her and Applejack finally made it to Twilight's bedroom. Spike's small bed was still carefully made, as he made it every morning, with the pillow propped up and wrinkled, and the blankets folded halfway down the bed, just like he was taught. She smiled at this, crawling into bed as Applejack took the other side. The two friends looked at each other, relief and sleep sweeping over them, as they held hooves in a friendly embrace.

"G'night, Sugarcube," Applejack whispered to her friend. "Sweet dreams."

"Night, AJ." Twilight answered back, just as the two have done for the past two weeks.

Both friends quickly went to sleep, glad another day of pain was over. Somewhere nearby, a certain owl stared at the two friends, taking time to silently glide downstairs to gaze at Spock and the Doctor. Over and over this owl silently watched over the inhabitants of the library. All the while, it hooted one simple question: "Who are you?"