Previously, on Empress Theresa:

The end!

And now:

Welcome to the educational part of the series. If you're just joining us, I recommend going back and reading the rest of these blogs first, starting from the first chapter. Otherwise, you might not get what's going on.

Or, y'know, don't. Either works for me.

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Previously, on The Shadow God:

Ugh.

And now:

Quick summary of the previous chapter for anyone who skipped: Craig and Todd got away from Detective Underwood. Mark crossed the moral event horizon. Mark and Kristy were killed by Ridley.

Let us speak of it no more.

This chapter is called "A History Lesson", and begins with Craig once again dreaming of the same place he always seems to dream of:

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Previously, on The Shadow God:

Spelunking!

And now:

The chapter begins where we left off: Craig and Todd have just discovered that the cave they were exploring leads to Father Spiers' church.

Craig opens the door a little and peeks inside. He sees that almost the entire town is there, sitting in the pews, facing Father Spiers and a man Craig doesn't recognize but who is surely Ridley.

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Previously, on Empress Theresa:

Deserts are hard.

And now:

So the people who blew up that oil tanker were terrorists, as you might have guessed. Old associates of Al-Qaeda, as it turns out. Also, the boat they used was called the 'Deep C Guy'. Just want to put that out there.

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Previously, on Empress Theresa:

How can I best explain how little happened in so many, many words?

And now:

Before we begin, I have some news.

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Previously, on The Shadow God:

Werewolves!

And now:

Health update: surgery's on Friday. I'm getting a plate put in my hand, fulfilling at last my childhood dream of becoming a bionic man.

In other news...

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Previously, on The Shadow God:

Todd ain't nothin' but a horn-dog!

And now:

We resume the story with Craig and Mark, who are hurtling through the streets in Craig's truck.

Craig knew the blue light would be there to tempt Todd, but he couldn’t imagine Todd actually falling for the whispers’ tricks. He knew Todd had better self-control.

You want to bet on that?

“Jesus,” said Mark, holding onto the support handle. “Not in a hurry, are you?”

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Previously, on The Shadow God:

Darkness with a capital D!

And now:

We begin the chapter with Mark and Craig finding each other in the Dark World.

Suddenly, Mark and Craig touched, with their hands clenching tightly together.
“Mark?”
“Yeah, it’s me.”
Craig and Mark embraced each other, patting each other on the back as they hugged.

Ooh, spicy!

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Previously, on The Shadow God:

Detective Underwood took a nap!

And now:

We open with Underwood pulling up outside of Mark's house. He briefly wonders if potentially contaminating a crime scene is worth it, but the idea of becoming sheriff drives those thoughts away. He goes inside and heads down into the basement.

“Pssst!”
Underwood turned behind him, drawing his gun, glad that he didn’t forget it. Who was that?
“Pssst! Over here!”

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Previously, on Empress Theresa:

New York!

And now:

The chapter begins with a New York Times headline and a call from the president. She wants to meet up at the White House. Steve decides this is a bad idea for seemingly no reason and instead requests a representative come to West Point (they're back in West Point, by the way).

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Previously, on Empress Theresa:

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!?

And now:

Welcome to the last chapter, folks. It's been a wild ride, hasn't it? Let's see what Mr. Boutin has to play us off.

If you'll recall, Theresa's apparent plan to deal with the new HAL users is to put the ENTIRE WORLD into suspended animation. She began doing this, as usual, without telling anyone and with no one's permission. Could have at least given us some warning, Theresa.

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Kindle app says we're 12% in. Woohoooooooo.
Previously, on Empress Theresa:
First meeting to marriage in a matter of pages.
And now:

Just a reminder, the last chapter ended with this line:

I was driving the car alone one Saturday to go grocery shopping, thinking of the wonderful future waiting for me.

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Previously, on Empress Theresa:

A chapter that wasn't totally boring!

And now:

Guess who's back.

Back again.

Theresa's back.

Tell a friend.

Gues who's back, guess who's back, etc. etc.

A month has passed since the Paris trip, and, I quote, 'the oppression of being trapped in this luxurious prison' is getting to Theresa again. Remember how I said that maybe Theresa might solve the wind thing this chapter? Yeah, no. Crops are still dying, folks. Keep that in mind.

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Previously, on Empress Theresa:
Splat!
And now:

So following her daring escape in the last chapter, Theresa wakes up in a hospital bed next to the British Prime Minister.
No, not in the bed. That would be weird.

I slammed my hand on the mattress in frustration.  For eight years I had kept HAL a secret.  My life was ruined.  All I wanted was a quiet life.  I didn’t get it.  What was I supposed to do next?
“I’ll bet my secret is out.”

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Previously, on The Shadow God:

La finale!

And now:

Welcome back. Did you miss me? I missed you.

This is the wrap-up, the place where we take The Shadow God apart and talk about why it does and doesn't work. If you're new to this series, I recommend you go and start from chapter one. Or not. Do as your prerogative tells you.

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Previously, on The Shadow God:

Tennis!

And now:

The chapter has a new POV: Craig's previously mentioned friend, Mark. And it begins with the narrator summing up his character again:

He was fascinated with two things and two things only. Sports and girls. Though, he wasn’t very good at either. His coordination was a little off in one and he lacked knowledge in the other. Regardless of the way anyone viewed it, he was in bad shape.

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Sorry this post is relatively late; it's not for no reason, though.

Managed to fall off my bicycle and break a finger. I spent most of my day in the hospital. Doc says I might need surgery.

Good times.

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Previously, on The Shadow God:

I always feel like somebody's watching meeeeeeee.

And now:

We open the chapter once again with the dynamic duo, the power pair, the brilliant buddies, Detective Underwood and his partner Eubanks.

Underwood glared at him. “Don’t tell me what I should and shouldn’t do. Remember, you’re under my authority. You came to me a year ago to learn how to be a detective and why was that?”

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Previously, on The Shadow God:

The Shadow God!

And now:

The chapter begins and we find ourselves with Detective Underwood and company. It seems Father Spiers has reported that the boys broke into his church earlier.

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Previously, on The Shadow God:

Todd killed a man! Maybe.

And now:

Sorry for the late chapter yesterday, folks. I was busy visiting three different hospitals and a physiotherapy joint. I didn't even get to eat until around 6 PM. Not a good time!

Anyway, we open the twelfth chapter of this masterpiece of a book with Craig running from the hospital to Mark's house, which takes him half an hour. Pretty impressive.

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