Ready, Willing, and Abel (RB Vs. The Shadow God, Chapters 14, 15, and 16)

Previously, on The Shadow God:

I always feel like somebody's watching meeeeeeee.

And now:

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We open the chapter once again with the dynamic duo, the power pair, the brilliant buddies, Detective Underwood and his partner Eubanks.

Underwood glared at him. “Don’t tell me what I should and shouldn’t do. Remember, you’re under my authority. You came to me a year ago to learn how to be a detective and why was that?”
Eubanks looked annoyed. He exhaled annoyingly and said, “Because they told me you were the best.”

Underwood's the best? Really? The guy who makes his mind up about who's guilty and not guilty despite having zero evidence one way or another, who rolls up to an apparent wild animal attack and starts asking questions about homicide? That's your best?

Underwood shook his head. “There ain’t one of them boys with a bright future ahead of them, especially that Craig boy. His father is in prison, his mother works dead-end jobs. The other two will probably end up as middle-class jackasses who fuck other people’s wives.”

The best in the business, folks.

Eubanks asks him why he hates Craig so much. Underwood reveals that his father was the one Craig's father killed, which is, well, we knew that already, you told us his last name ages ago.

Eubanks nodded his head, standing up and walking over to the coffee pot, refilling his cup. He knew he and Jim would never quit until they had—or until Jim had Craig Johnson squirming in his grip.

Sins of the father, guys. Sins of the father.

And that's the chapter. See you tomorrow, folks. Love ya. Muah.

Yeah, no, I'm just kidding. Let's go for a twofer, eh?

The next chapter has us along for the ride with Craig and his friends again, shortly after we left off.

“What do you want?” Craig asked it.
The beastly thing stood inside the darkness, looking at them with its piercing red dots.
“What do you want?” Craig asked louder.
The beast still did not answer.
Craig glanced sideways at his friends. “We gotta make a run for it,” he said.
“Where are we gonna run, Craig?” said Todd, hysterical. “We’re not going to be able to outrun that thing. You remember what happened with the werewolf, don’t you?”
Craig nodded and leaned in at Todd. “Yes, but that was in our world. It can’t hurt us in this world.”

Says who?

Craig suddenly held his arms out, keeping Mark and Todd from running away. “Hold on!” he said. “I’ve got an idea!”
“Oh shit,” said Mark.
“Don’t make any sudden movements,” said Craig. “And whatever you do, don’t run.”

Would you make up your mind?

Craig's new idea is to go back to Mark's house and find some weapons. Another masterpiece plan by Craig Johnson. Absolutely stunning.

The boys continued to backpedal as the creature slowly advanced on them. They were able to detect its physical makeup. It seemed to be just a mass of black hair and red, leering eyes.

The creature’s arms lifted into the air as it seemingly reached for the boys. “I’ve … killed … you … once,” it moaned. “I’ll … kill … you … again.”

Craig decides it must be because he's a reincarnation of someone, a bit of information he suddenly is taking very seriously. But who could it be?

“Who did you kill so long ago?” Craig screamed at it, thinking it would get agitated and come roaring after them.
“Craig!” said Todd. “Hold your voice down!”
“Abel,” said the creature.

Though the question still remained: Who was Abel?

Todd at the very least should know who Able is, given he was brought up religiously. And if Craig is Able, then this giant furball must be Cain. Right?

Mark grabs some long-handled gardening tools and hands them to his friends. Then, he charges the beast with his pickaxe.

Just as Mark cocked his ax and swung, the beast emanated a ray of brilliant blue light and was instantly converted into an elderly man.
But it was too late for Mark to stop his swing. The axe buried itself deep into the side of the old man’s skull, squirting blood onto the boys’ faces like paint. The man dropped dead to the earth’s floor.

Suddenly, the boys find themselves back in the real world. What's more, Todd's wounds are back. What's even more, the old man's body is there too.

Todd checks for a pulse and finds that the man's joints are stiff. He concludes that the man's been dead for hours if not days. I disagree with this conclusion: rigor mortis usually sets in after four hours post-death, but then goes away in around eight hours (at room temperature). If the corpse is still stiff, then it can't have been dead for days.

...Probably. I'm not a coroner, I just write mysteries.

The boys freak out a bit. Then:

The dead man’s body, which lay undisturbed for the past couple of minutes, was now mangled and gnawed, the skin and muscle hanging from the bones in meaty clumps. There were maggots squirming and wriggling their way through the man’s half-eaten eyes.

The boys decide they have to bury the man's body. Before they can, however, Margie shows up. They block the body from view with their own.

Then Craig had another thought. The girl on the porch wasn’t really Margie. He knew he had to ask her a personal question, just like he did with Todd.
“Margie?” asked Craig, looking closely at her.
Margie’s irritated disposition softened as she trained her gaze on Craig. “Yes, Craig, dear?”
“How long did I last?”

Because I always make a habit of timing my sexual partners. I keep a stopwatch next to my bed just for that purpose.

Craig decides she's probably real. Also, she's picked up the habit of calling Craig 'darling' from somewhere.

The boys turn back to the matter of the corpse. They begin to bury it.

While the boys dug, they were unaware of the curtain being drawn back from the neighbor’s kitchen window.

Oh dear, what will the neighbors think?

That's the end of the chapter, folks. I'm signing off for real this time. Bye!

Gotcha again, didn't I? Turns out the next chapter is two pages long. Oh baby, it's a triple.

We're back with Detective Underwood and co. The phone rings. It's an old lady, who has not called 911, but rather the sheriff's office, which has somehow gotten her to Underwood's phone. Surprise surprise, it's the neighbor from before.

“Well, there’s some … boys … in the yard next … to mine…and …”
“What are they doing?” asked Underwood, growing more impatient with the woman’s labored breathing by the second. “Breaking into a house? Smoking pot? What?”
“I don’t think so,” said the old lady. “It seems to me … that they’re … digging some … sort of grave … I reckon.”

She gives him the address; he immediately recognizes it as being next door to Mark's. Underwood rushes off, leaving his partner in his dust.

He was going to get high praise for capturing the three boys that vandalized Father Spiers’s church. He was going to get an Accommodation Award. Then a promotion.

For simple vandalism? I think you're overestimating their wanted level a little.

One way or another, he was going to capture Craig Johnson in a violent criminal act. Just like Matt Johnson was caught squeezing the last breath out of his father. Underwood was going to get his revenge on Craig if it was the last thing he ever did.

And that's how you know he's a good cop.

Alright, for real this time, that's all I have for you today. I'll be by tomorrow with more. I'm like a milkman! A milkman who only brings spoiled milk.

Anyway, see you then.

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