EOn the Road: A Beatrix Belladonna Tale

• MLP: FiM
• Slice of Life

As a single mother Trixie struggles to raise her daughter in a war-torn land.

• Alt. Universe
• Trixie
• OC

Dr Sharaz Jek · 1.4k words · 663 views

Summary: Equestria, devastated by war, now offers few opportunities. However Trixie strives to take care of her daughter, certain that she'll meet back up with the unknowing father someday.

In pursuit they head from one place to another, collecting what bits they can, and training little Beatrix Belladonna in hopes she'll one day follow in her footsteps.

Initial thoughts: Alright, let's dig in! It seems this story is based on the simple life of Trixie who is a human in this story, and her daughter Beatrix. It is a simple, and charming look at slice of life, and the prose in how the author uses words to better tell this story was quite refreshing, and I found myself taking notes for how I could also perhaps learn a thing or two. 8/10

What I liked: I liked the simplicity of this story. Not all stories need to have some grand battle or a big adventure to be good, this story shows me that you can have something great and powerful with the most simplest of stories. The bond between daughter and mother.

What I didn't like: The length. I know this seems nitpicky, but it's really the only thing I disliked. I wanted to know more about Trixie and her daughter, and learn how they help each other while on the road. Take that for what it's worth.

Grammar: I'm not really the best judge since I struggle myself, but I didn't see anything that stood out to me. Great job on staying far away from those evil typos, and misplacings of commas. 10/10

Characterization: Trixie felt very much herself, she has an ego, but she has this sorta softness about her when speaking to those she cares for, and teaching her daughter how to be a magician is just fitting. I didn't get to see much of Beatrix, but from what I saw, she seems like she's taking after her mother with her ego, but she also is very calm in her approach which reminds me of her father. Pretty solid all around. 9/10

Story/Concept: The originality here, well needless to say stories like this have been done time and time again. So does this one stand out with it's own unique flare as great and powerful as Trixie herself? Not really! Don't get me wrong. The story itself is good, but there's really nothing here the seperates it from the other stories like this, other than the wonderful prose in how the author presents it. Not bad, but not a masterpiece. 7/10

Final score and thoughts: Overall I liked this story, it told a simple story that is as great and powerful as Trixie herself, and while I do say I enjoyed it, I don't think I'd go back and reread it. I feel like reading this once was enough to get the concept, understand what the author was going for, and make up my own mind to how I felt. Overall, it is what I'd call a really good decent slice of life bonding story about a mother and daughter. It's short, and sweet, and certainly left me with a smile. 8/10

Total score: 8+10+9+7+8=42/50
8.4/10

To the author: I hoped you enjoyed my review of your story, if you would like me to review more of your stories, I am a reviewer part of My Little Reviews.https://www.fimfiction.net/group/213901/my-little-reviews-feedback
I am not the only reviewer, there are 9 of us currently, so I'm sure you will find someone to your likings, so feel free to stop on by and request us some time!
Also
*gives headpats*
Good story, keep up the good work, and continue being awesome.

7229422
Thank you for the review! Glad you enjoyed it. I did sequel it to flesh it out a little more, but wish I'd worked those ideas into the original fic instead to give it more meat. Ah well, live and learn.