Shakespeare in emoji and textspeak.

Between the pony-glyphs and the smiles and happy endings, I'm not sure how different the Canterlot Royal Press version would be.

4459294 Wait wait wait, hold on, so Hamlet WASN'T a comedy with how quickly everyone seemed to chain kill each other in a very overdramatic manner?!

But just that... text ... AAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh! *runs screaming and flailing*

...so I think someone or somepony out there would try smuggling unchanged books into Equestria. "Who burns a perfectly good grimoire of forbidden knowledge anyways?!" to quote some trinket obsessed birdmen.

4459294 Veto.

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From The Desk Of Luna, Diarch Of The Night
Re: Effort to make Hamlet safe for ponies.
Notes: This Shakespeare human is witty, but way too dark. Gotta fix this if it is ever to be allowed. Celestia would have a fit.

First Ambassador

The sight is dismal problematic? Somewhat discouraging? Go for happy, maybe?;
And our affairs from England Equestria come too late:
The ears are senseless that should give us hearing, Too deathy. 'Our ears attend well'?
To tell him his commandment is fulfill'd, That's okay.
That Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead: 'Late for supper'. Going with that.
Where should we have our thanks? In less morbid human writings. What is their deal?

HORATIO

Not from his mouth, Okay.
Had it the ability of life to thank you: Sweet me, this stallion likes the murdery stuff!
He never gave commandment for their death. Right out.
But since, so jump upon this bloody question, you have got to be kidding me!!!
You from the Polack wars Smoothie Shoppe, and you from England Equestria,
Are here arrived give order that these bodies happy, shining ponies
High on a stage be placed to the view; Amazing, a line that isn't a problem!
And let me speak to the yet unknowing world Okay.
How these things came about: so shall you hear Fine.
Of carnal, bloody, and unnatural acts, SWEET MOTHER OF MUFFINS!
Of accidental judgments, casual slaughters,
Of deaths put on by cunning and forced cause, Maybe Celestia was right.
And, in this upshot, purposes mistook
Fall'n on the inventors' reads: all this can I
Truly deliver.

Note: Shakespeare isn't what I hoped. Project abandoned. Moving on to 'Catcher In The Rye'. Title sounds friendly, all ponies like grain-bearing grasses. Feel much more hopeful about that one.

4459294
"Yolo Juliet"
I'm feeling a lot of emotions right now and none of them are pleasant.

4459294 And I just lost more faith in my own race... Ruining classics...

4459435 I loled at “Luna's” notes... Do you ever wonder which top ten books that can't be sterilized, she would wish most that she could share?

Would love to see what Luna makes of Finnegan's Wake, Tristram Shandy, Infinite Jest, or House of Leaves. ...Or Mark Twain's The Mysterious Stranger, one of the only books I've ever found to be genuinely frightening.

4459435

Y'know, it kinda hurts to squelch a laugh because I don't want to wake the sleeping wolf three feet away.

Now i'm imagining Luna coming across Lovecraft...

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"Wait? This is what those HLF folk meant when they used to say 'eldritch abominations'? This!?" (Turns into Nightmare Moon. Looks around.) "Er..." (Turns back into Luna.) "Let's not talk about this anymore..."

To be honest, I think whole "censoring/altering/safering stuff" idea just .. human. If native ponies are psychologically-stable, have no reason to try random things from the book without thinking about consequences, and converted ex-humans are none the less ponies when it comes to influence , including resistance to bad influence ..then I think they will act more like me when I was presented with 'great' book of some XX century veterinarian who had no problems in eating meat: "such a crap!" and book goes to shelf. May be there was something interesting, but not like something I can integrate into myself usefully right now. So, without whole society to produce those types of works ...yes, they will be pain to read, but some might develop some distance while reading them, or just wonder how such thinking and acting was in fact possible ..horror, but harmless, because current reality forbids it.