An interesting month for me, this. It looks as though I will, against all my expectations a couple of weeks ago, be attending UK PonyCon in eight days' time. Many a slip and all that, and I do have to steer clear of the dreaded lurgy between now and then if I want actually to go, but the thought of a physical convention in the UK again after two years without one is exciting, to say the least! This has nothing whatever to do with FF150, but as the judge I can always shamelessly abuse my thread-starting powers... Anyway, the rules haven't changed, and here they are:

Here are the full rules.

You'll note that Rule 6 still explicitly disallows any G5 content. I'm keeping that rule for now; we'll see about the future in the future.

Remember, there is no prize, as such, for this contest -- but if you win, you will be able to choose the prompt for the next contest. You'll also get a mention on the group's front page. Possibly even on the front page of one of those newspapers we see from time to time in the show and certain other media. What? Yes, of course I have that power. I am the law, as it says in the contest rules! Now then:

Prompt: "The Potion" (selected by last month's winner, Impossible Numbers)
Rating: E or T
Word limit: 150
Closing date: Thursday 21st October 2021, 11:59 pm UK time (world clock)

Please reply to this post with your entry. This makes it easier for me to keep track. Please do not leave feedback until after the closing date.

And now, over to prompt-setter Impossible Numbers for an optional extra challenge.

And like last time (the Sweetie Belle prompt), and the time before that (the Scootaloo prompt), let's add an optional bonus challenge, just for fun (not for points):

Normal: Write whatever you want.
Easy: Make up your own potion(s) or potion ingredient(s).
Medium: Include any potion(s) or potion ingredient(s) seen in canon - canon as defined by Loganberry for this contest.
Hard: Include a Heart's Desire potion only, which grants your wish but in the worst way possible (see "The Cutie Pox" for an example).

If it helps, canon potions can be found using CTRL+F and searching "potion" on this wiki page, and the "Magic Plants" section on the same page is a good source of inspiration for potential potion ingredients.

For the "Medium" level, I'm inclined to say that means the series (FiM or EqG), the specials and the 2017 movie. Though just to be clear about this, I will not worry about whether you've done any of these challenges when judging this month's contest. It's purely a bit of fun for people who want to give it a go.

Entries are now open! Have fun!

7577718

...I don't know how I come up with these concepts.

Welcome back.

You're just in time, the midori goop is boiling and it was beginning to talk to me, so let's pick up where we left off before it starts singing.

Now the secret to potion making is the ingredient's origin. Eyes are a perfect example, and we'll be putting in four eyes taken from a spider. No newt peepers, we're going for a diet on this one. Sides, the little guy had it coming, should've thought twice before hiding in the shower.

Into the cauldron.

Now stir the eyes for a moment, but don't stare at them directly. You're judging the concoction, don't let it judge you.

When the eyes deteriorate, scoop some goop into a vial.

And there you have it, a potion for glowing eyes for your Nightmare Night treating.

Come back next time and I'll show you how to make the perfect potion for bat wings.

7577718

“Spike! You put a comma before ‘but’ even though the sentence doesn’t contain a subject. You’re as ancient as I am; you should know better by now.

“I’ll rewrite it, okay? There’s no need for all your twilighting.”

She grabbed the scroll from Spike claws. “You know what? Prevention is better than curative measures. And as a bonus, I get to test this new Heart’s Desire potion I bought.”

“Twilight, I don’t think that’s such a good...”

“I wish to prevent Spike from committing this grammatical atrocity!” While pointing a hoof at the comma, Twilight chugged down the potion.

What she heard next, chilled her to the bones. “Now split that dragon egg, filly. We don’t have all day!”

Edit: Shortened.

Edit Edit: 15 - Undo

7577718

Twilight whipped her head, astonished, just in time to see Luna's expression bend to a wry smirk that was frighteningly like that she was more used to seeing from Celestia.

"It cannot be that surprising, Twilight Sparkle. In truth, I remain under its influence. By choice. I..." The smirk drained away, taking her gaze with it. "I suppose one might say I grew into the effects it granted me. I wished more than anything to be there for them. To be a guide, a confidant, a friend, in their darkest hours."

Luna smiled at her again, this time a distant, brittle expression. "There is some humor to be found it how literally that desire was expressed."

Extended sequence (alas, not actually part of the submission) : Twilight promptly booped Luna on the snout, calling out, "Honk!" Before a very nonplussed Luna could protest, Twilight continued, "I've been studying Pinkie Pie very closely, and I had a ninety-eight percent confidence interval that you needed a distraction and a laugh just now! Then you can continue to tell me everything." The hoof returned to snout, this time more slowly and expected. They both boiled over with filly's giggles, and together shouted for the stars to hear, "Hoooooonk!"

7577718
Now this… This prompt provides so many avenues to choose from for how to go about writing something that it’s almost impossible to choose.

But I’ll just settle for a remix of what I did last month, with a bit less Discord and more Gotham City.

I give you

Big Mac and a yellow unicorn sat at a table in the Oak Timberwolf, a bar in Ponyville, Flim wearing a striped hat and vest, and Big Mac wearing a bowler hat, with a coat draped over his back, and a pipe he took pulls of smoke from.

“I know you have the… Product,” Flim said, tapping his hooves together nervously, “You’re the biggest dealer in town.”

Big Mac let out a breath of smoke before responding. “How much?”

The unicorn glanced around before answering. ”Just one.”

“Hmm… Three Hundred.” Mac said, smoke trailing from his lips.

Flim gave off a scowl at that. “That’s practically…!” He cut himself off with a sigh, “Know what? Fine…” Flim pulled a sack out of his vest and dropped it on the table with a thud.

Grinning, Mac took the sack and rolled over a bottle of glowing blue liquid.

“Pleasure doing business.”

7578151
That entry won't be eligible, I'm afraid. As I said in my opening post and in Rule 6, entries must not be G5. That rule may change in the future, but for now at least G5 content is not eligible for FF150. Sorry! You are welcome to replace it with a G4 story if you wish, and that will be considered.

7578210
My apology, the idea just struck suddenly. I'll work on a proper entry.

7577718
I decided to do a repeat of last year, and submit a crossover story to continue that one. Sure, it won’t win any medals, but it’s great for continuity.

Might I present to you,

Flim glanced out the alley at the dark, decrepit town as Flam sifted through their saddlebags, tossing herbs together in a pot.

“Just a sprig more of Witherweed… More newt eyes and Moonglow…”

Flim frowned as he stood watch, “Brother, you’re certain that these potions will hide us here? I don’t wish to eat a newt eye for the fun of it.”

“One hundred percent guarantee, brother of mine!” He said, “We’ll have that Star back in no time!”

“I hope the dubiously diabolical creatures haven’t tainted it. I can almost hear the value dropping…”

“Easy cleaning for the Super Speedy Easy Squeegee 6000!”

“Hey, you two!” A voice from above made them both freeze.

Looking up, they saw what looked like a bat with a human head staring down at them.

“What’s that stew you’re making?”

Flim quickly thought of something smart to say.

“…Newt eye stew?”

“Oooh, yummy!”

7578212
No problem.

7577718

It had been several years since Fluttershy's death. Although caring for the animals kept Discord's mind occupied, the nights offer few distractions. Despite his resolve, sadness eventually ruined his disposition. Having paid for some herbs, Discord turned to leave Zecora's hut.

"While it's admirable to take the rein, there's no reason to harbor all the pain. Consume this potion and receive your deepest notion," Zecora finished while offering a small vial. Explaining how he only had enough money for herbs, Discord declined.

Hearing it was a gift, Discord took the vial. Having read the label, Discord's heart leaped with elation. After a hurried thanks, Discord uncorked the bottle. A whirlpool of pleasant thoughts filled his mind but quickly dissipated. "What is wrong..." Zecora began.

"To drink this potion would mean I'm not strong," Discord finished. While it's my heart's desire to see her again. Memories are better than selfish desires.

7577718

Rarity sighed with relief after finishing helping Applejack with the annual zapapple harvest. Sleep deprived and covered in dirt and mud due to the unusually heavy rain from a rouge storm, she dragged herself home and had a shower to remove the worst of the mess. Shortly afterwards, she approached the mirror and gasped in horror.

“My hooves!”

Frantically, Rarity tried to make her hooves smooth and shiny. After ten minutes of work, the Cutie Mark Crusaders walked in. At that same moment, Rarity let out a frustrated groan.

“If only my hooves were shinier!”

Apple Bloom walked up and offered a pink potion.

“Here, drink this potion. It’ll fulfill your heart’s desire!”

Desperately, Rarity gulped the potion. Nothing happened. With a frustrated groan, she turned on the CMCs… but they were gone. Picking up her buffing block, she returned to smoothing her hooves.

Thirty minutes later, they were perfect.

When you're tired, your mind insists on strange/interesting things. Like sudden inspiration for a short story.

7577718
Poetry isn't my strong suit. In fact, I haven't played with poetry much. Since 'potions' would probably prompt a lot of Zecora entries, I thought it natural to challenge myself with a Zecora narrative piece. Got down the rhymes, but syllables were a pinch hard to manage... couldn't get it to work. I guess it'll come with practice. Either way, its good to try something new!

Early in the day, she burst into my hut,

tired and down in the dumps in a proverbial rut

I asked her to what I may be the aid,

She requested confidence― I said a potion couldn’t be made.

Insistent, she explains her part in a play,

‘Confidence cannot be conjured by another’ I say,

“…It is funny thing; can be created from nothing

…but must come from you, not under my wing,”

“But I’m terrified,” she persists

Then, my eyes mist

I offer, “Let me see if I have a potion for fear so chronic.”

I rummage through my cupboards. “Ah ha! I have just the tonic!”

She consumed the potion, one big draught

Then thanked me for my wonderful craft

Later, when I saw her on that stage,

preened up and all the rage,

I didn’t have the heart to tell her:

no potion. It was only water.

7577718

would you like a sip of a drink
that could make you invisible or shrink
or would you like to fly
and touch the sky
sadly those are not available now
so let Zecora make you one that would make you go wow
but if your are no sure
this is no cutie pox cure
this can not open a portal i'm sad to say
but i promise the last pony to drink this went yay
see this is no normal potion you see
as it won't make you sing, squeak or squee
but it does nothing you be confused
as you may think this is a ruse
as you have all you need inside
a great talent and a clever mind
see his potion makes you look in the mirror and say
i may not be perfect in any way
but i who i am no matter what others say
and that's the best lesson you can learn today

7583635
That's ineligible, I'm afraid. The reason is that as mentioned in Rule 1 for FF150, Fimfiction story rules apply. And one of those bans:

Stories written in chat or script format. This includes stories in which dialogue is indicated like this: “TWILIGHT: I sure do love books!”

You can't use a TV script for FF150, I'm afraid. Poems are fine, but they have to be in story format. So you can either leave yours as a non-competing entry, or rework it into story format. Your choice.

7586137
ooff sorry i fix that

7586137
made a poem hope that's ok

7577754
That is 198 words, so well over the word count limit. Fine as a non-competitive entry, but you'll need to trim it if you want to be considered for the win.

7586281
The format is fine now, but you too are over the word count limit. It's currently 160 words, so you'll need to cut it by a minimum of 10 words to be eligible.

Everyone: please bear in mind that 150 words using WordCounter.net is the maximum length for competitive entries. Thank you.

Just under 35 hours to go!

7583635
Final reminder: your piece as it stands is 10 words overlength. If it stays that way by deadline time, it will be treated as a non-competitive entry.

Thank you to everyone who's entered so far!

Curls of mist permeate an underground liar. Distant thunder crashes, water trickles. Around a cauldron, three diamond dogs stoop, sprinkling and speckling ingredients, stirring all the while.

"Cauldron boil and cauldron burble," recited the foremost diamond dog.

"Eye of hawk, ear of rat," the second added

"Into this, lodestone that," the third dumped

"Find our prey. You sayeth where,

hear her call, we goeth there."

"Oh whiny pony,"

"Drunk on hubris,"

"Spite most phony,

we'll strip her... bootless!"

The diamond dogs all cackled, thunder rumbling. A sparkling of salt into the hot potion sends green miasma twisting through the cavern. In the fog, lines of strata glow blue, then lavender, green, and fading heather. Finally, all but a faint trail of emerald remains, casting through an ascending tunnel and into the storm.

The diamond dogs share a moment of grim glee as they ready to hunt.

Please don't hesitate to give me feedback!

Because my last entry wasn't exactly clear why it was Applejack the diamond dogs found, I wrote this one to justify it a little more, though it's still pretty forced IMO. Originally the "Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble" stuff was in the beginning of my last entry, but I ended up cutting it for length's sake. Of course, I didn't save those lines, and I regretted it as I could've used those, plus I then lost my first attempt at this fic due my inability to save my work. Still, a lot of fun working on this.

7577718
An eleventh-hour entry from me, just made it, yeah!

I may try to expand this one into a longer story at some time because there's a fair bit I couldn't fit into 150 words; the -out-of-left-field twist is even more so.

Apple Bloom leaned over the bubbling cauldron, a dull red glow encompassing her, “Just need to add the Gemini Orchid blossom and the duplication potion's ready!” she said excitedly.

“This potion has never been mixed before, there must be a reason, of this I am sure,” Zecora cautioned, a concern she couldn't quite place playing on her mind.

“Aw, what could go wrong? Imagine how much I could help in the orchard if there was two of me, or even three!” she said, dropping the final ingredient.

Magical and chemical reactions began as the brew was completed; in contact with itself, it began to replicate out of control, the iron of the cauldron grew and thickened, causing the roiling liquid to spill.

Zecora snatched up the horrified filly and ran from the cottage. She didn't know how to fix this, she just knew getting to safety was the first step.

7577720 7577754 7577807 7577836 7579254 7580096 7580824 7581625 7583635 7587786 7588253

Okay everyone, put down your writing implements, your time is up!

Another very decent story count, which is pleasing. 11 stories submitted, though only nine are eligible. Frazzle2Dazzle's second (crossover) story is obviously ineligible. Meawhile, scorpion1m, I have to disqualify your story as it is 160 words long. Since I gave you a heads-up about this on Sunday, I have to assume that you are content with a non-competitive story.

Thank you to everyone who had a go! As usual, I'll read and reflect for a few days before giving my verdict.

You can now leave feedback, should you wish.

Just popping in to say I'll post the result on Thursday 28th, owing to a couple of busy days before then.

Unfortunately, I couldn't think of any ideas this time (and for my own prompt too!). I couldn't have been a legal participant either way, but I still like to challenge myself to write, so I'm a bit disappointed with myself on this one.

Oh well, so it goes. Good luck to the contestants!

7577720 7577754 7577807 7577836 7579254 7580096 7580824 7581625 7583635 7587786 7588253

Results time!

Hon mensh: Bad Dragon -- That's so very Twilight. Especially not quite thinking through the, er, consequences of things even when good ol' Spike is trying to warn her. The more general question of where she'd be without her dragon assistant is intriguing, but* worrying.
* Yes, that comma was deliberate.

Winner: Dodj -- Okay, now this is chilling -- which I suppose makes it a perfect fit for the month of Nightmare Night! This seems like an all too believable way for magic to go wrong in Equestria. Extra points for making Zecora's rhyming scan, which (tip for anyone who'd like it) is by far the most common technical hiccup I see with her dialogue in ponyfic. If you do extend this into a longer fic, I'd really like to read it.

Dodj, you know the form I imagine: please choose a prompt for November's FF150 and post it righ there. Well done to you and to Bad Dragon, and thank you to everyone who entered this month!

Congrats, Dodj! That was a nice fic.

Congratulations, 7588253. Your story was great. You aimed for the heart of the prompt and your aim was true.

7592290 Thanks for the results. I feel honored to be mentioned. My story was even reviewed! How great is that? I'll take this as an honorable mention and not just my white straight male privilege charm making me entitled.

Oh, wow, thank you! It might be a bit cliche to say at this point but I really wasn't expecting to win!

That said, I did have a prompt prepared juuust in case (alright, so it's actually been prepared as a "what would I pick" when I heard about Flashfic150 a while back). Anyone who knows me, admittedly a small number here on Fimfic, probably won't be surprised by my choice of prompt; "An Inconvenient Paradox."

7592768
Nobody expects the Flashfic Inquisition Win Message!

And now you get to pick what you would pick, so deciding what you would pick in the event of needing to pick a pick was indeed a good pick!

Um, that is... thanks for the prompt! I'll do the updates now.

7592768

Congratulations, mate! Good job! And that's a nice prompt, too. I look forward to trying it out for next month's challenge.

Since no one else has really gotten to it, I shall provide some feedback.

7577720
I like this,it's pretty fun.

I feel like spider eyes don't make a lot of sense though.
If the key to a potion is "the ingredient's origin," why Spider eyes? What does differentiate them from Newt peepers? The potion gives you glowing eyes, so maybe a firefly's eyes or abdomen would make more sense?

I really think that your formatting here, combined with the, uh, diction really carries this entry though. It feels playful. The narration feels like dialogue, and the breaks here:

...hiding in the shower.

Into the cauldron.

Now stir the eyes...

Kind of make "into the cauldron" feel, like, non-cocmittal almost? I dunno, it's fun. I like "peepers", "goop," "scoop;" good words, describes the potion in simply and funnily. It lightens the tone (especially after that poor shower spider!). Overall, neat!

And there you have it, a potion for glowing eyes for your Nightmare Night treating.

I can't read the rest of the entry in her voice, but this line just *clicks* into Zecora's voice.

7577754

It's subjective, but I feel like this one's a little hard to hear spike's voice in. The longer version captures Twilight's voice better.

I've found this is hard to do, but neither Spike nor Twilight feel like hundred year old rulers. I think that might just because... there aren't any real life examples? What would one sound like? It'd be hard to project what a human or human-like consciousness would be like after a hundred years.

Overall though, I'm a fan of "redoing the whole series from the beginning" type of fics. I'd be pretty happy to see this continued.
Good job going for the Heart's Desire challenge, I think you really pulled it off.

7577807

I'd really like a bit more explanation for this one. I just... don't know what Luna's talking about. Sarosians maybe? I feel like like it's hard to get behind the drama when I don't even really know what it is?

7577836
7579254

a bar in Ponyville,

and a pipe he took pulls of smoke from.

I feel like these bits are unnecessary.
"A bar in Ponyville," kind of conflicts with mood, and if you leave it unsaid, the reader gets to imagine the bar in, say, a crime ridden city, which gives you the option to subvert their expectations later.
The pipe thing is shown pretty clearly elsewhere, I feel like if you set up Big Mac Just Having a Pipe, then when he talks and he blows smoke, that's kind of like a payoff.

Also, for some reason I desperately wanted Flim to be described as "lanky."

Big Mac and a lanky yellow unicorn sat at a table

As for the second part of the story, I had some trouble telling Flim and Flam apart. Especially these lines:

“Just a sprig more of Witherweed… More newt eyes and Moonglow…”

Flim frowned as he stood watch, “Brother, you’re certain that these potions will hide us here? I don’t wish to eat a newt eye for the fun of it.”

“One hundred percent guarantee, brother of mine!” He said, “We’ll have that Star back in no time!”

When it's "he says," it sounds... almost like Flim is replying to himself somehow. It's confusing.

Also I love the fact that Flim is worried about the value dropping.

7580096

I appreciate this take on Discord. Fluttershy's death must've really taken him down if he cares about actual money. And strength?

Having paid for some herbs, Discord turned to leave Zecora's hut.

"While ... notion," Zecora finished while offering a small vial.

What did Zecorra finish? She was not really set up to be in the middle anything.

The third paragraph is really well done. I like the parallelism with Hearing and Having.

I could hear Discord's voice pretty well all throughout this one.

7580824

I... What? Did Rarity just file her hooves to the bone or something?

There are some critical things that are unclear in this entry.
a) What is it exactly that happened to Rarity's hooves? This is an important part of the story that is only really implied.
b) What's with the potion? Again, it's only implied. My impression is that it caused Rarity to focus on filing her hooves at the expense of... the CMC's and her health maybe?

I think this entry would be a lot stronger with these points addressed.

The buildup in the second to last paragraph is pretty great though.
The first sentence, "Desperately, Rarity gulped the potion," is really short. Paired with the dire diction ("desperately," "gulped") it really creates a sense of urgency, which is good because it compounds with Rarity's hoof-smoothening franticness earlier. The combined sense or urgent worry makes the reader tense, which means you have their attention. When the CMC's are gone, it reads as a pretty clear cue that something is wrong... The fact that Rarity just goes back sanding her hooves tells us that she's really quite obsessed. It really does excite a sense of dread in me, it makes me anticipate what the heck's going wrong! That's the kind of compounding spook factor that hooks a reader.

But, I dunno. This fic feels a little fragmented, and my thoughts likewise reflect that. I don't know if the CMC's needed to be in this one.

7581625

Solid entry!

It is funny thing

"It is a funny thing"?

7583635

I love the rhymes in this one. "Make you go wow," and "the last pony to drink this went yay," are both my favorite, and make me smile.

There is some grammatical trouble here and there, but overall this entry comes off as cute and good I'd say.

7587786

Wow, good job, Me.

I noticed I switched tenses in the middle there, so maybe I'll try and avoid that in the future. Oops.

Oh, wait, why exactly did the diamond dogs go after Applejack instead of Rarity?
...Good question, I forgot the answer! I think it was just that the Diamond dog spell was worded so it didn't locate so much by identity, as much as it did by pony acting. Since the diamond dog's interaction with Rarity were relatively limited, their impressions of her were off?? Except, Applejack isn't whiny, or hubristic, or spiteful. If anything that would apply more to Trixie, wouldn't it?

Hmm...

7588253

Imagine how much I could help in the orchard if there was two of me, or even three!” she said, dropping the final ingredient.

Imagine how much a unicorn could help out in the orchard!

It could be fun to see an extended fic dedicated to dealing with this simple but possibly cataclysmic potion.

"Multiduplicireplication" is a terrific mashup of words, I think it suits the potion pretty well.

Also the potion duplicating itself is pretty clever.

I feel like the ending was a little underwhelming, but I do appreciate Zecora's strength of character.

7604919
A bit less explaining to leave it to the reader’s imagination, while still explaining enough so that you can let them imagine something along the vein you want…. Gotcha. I’ll definitely try to be more conscious of showing instead of telling, though it’s often hard to do.

And the ‘Second part of the story’ was a continuation from last years October Flashfic that I did, not tied to the one with Big Mac. I’ll try to differentiate more between who’s talking of the two characters with as much similarities in the future.

7604919

Kind of make "into the cauldron" feel, like, non-cocmittal almost? I dunno, it's fun. I like "peepers", "goop," "scoop;" good words, describes the potion in simply and funnily. It lightens the tone (especially after that poor shower spider!). Overall, neat!

I really don't know how it came to be, but I just started thinking of a cooking show and I said to myself, 'If there's a chef I would like to impersonate, who would it be?' and that's when I said... Dom DeLuise.

So I tried to pull my best impersonation of him if he was making a potion of some kind.

Don't know why I picked the spider's eyes for this potion. Maybe I was getting into the season or set it up for the joke or maybe I was thinking that spiders had infrared eyes or something.

7604919
Thanks for giving feedback to folks; I didn't have much to say!

The big idea of mine is half-suggested in the title, "dreamwalker". I meant to suggest that Luna's ability to dreamwalk is the direct effect of Heart's Desire. The wording she gives is a small clue.

7577754
7604919

It's subjective, but I feel like this one's a little hard to hear spike's voice in.

I can write good dialogue but I always struggle when trying to capture a voice.

I've found this is hard to do, but neither Spike nor Twilight feel like hundred year old rulers.

If I tried that, their voices would be even further from what they ought to be. I tried to keep them somewhat recognizable at least.

Overall though, I'm a fan of "redoing the whole series from the beginning" type of fics. I'd be pretty happy to see this continued.

What I was going for was her upcoming decision. There was a way for her to only undo Spike's comma. But would she be willing to do what she wished for? Could she willingly make all the mistakes she made over hundreds of years? Could she really repeat her entire life?

Or will she sacrifice her future life for a new path? But if she wanted that, she would have wished it.

It's a test of her integrity. Can she really go through with her decision without changing her mind?

Good job going for the Heart's Desire challenge, I think you really pulled it off.

It was more of a scroll kind of deal, but then I would have missed the prompt. I still feel uneasy using a potion to fix a grammatical mistake. Then again, the time-traveling, sperm-filled potion was used in a show, so there's that.