Okay, here we go!

So, I am Dream Whisper, although that is not my real name of course. I love to write fanfics and recently discovered fimfiction for that.

I have got one major problem, for which I would need major help, if that is possible at all. ()

So, here is my problem:
DO NOT CONTINUE READING, IF YOU ARE ALREADY DEPRESSED
Some years ago, I realized, that death was inevitable. You might now question my sanity and why I am posting it here, but since then, I really really became desperate. I have realized that no matter what we do, it is all for nothing in the long run. No matter what I do or how far I come, in the end my life will inevitably be gone. I will be dead and no remainders of me will be there. Of course, people might still recall my name for years, but there will be a time when I am purged off this world.
Recently one of my old teachers died and thus I am even more concerned about it.
It eats me up that no matter what I do, it will all be for nothing. It feels as if I cannot succeed anymore, since in the long run any success will be deleted by death. I would love to be recalled in thousands of years like only big persons did (Julius Caesar, Aristoteles, Demokrit and many others). However, that goal has become unreachable in these times. You cannot become recalled for years if you are not Albert Einstein or such.

I am a happy person, a friendly person, a loving person. I am great to hang out with and every day I experience, that people like to interact with me. I am like a polar opposite of the depression. However, deep inside me, the depression eats me up. I try to live the best possible life, and so far I have succeeded with that. However, every day it hurts me knowing that I am going to die and it's all in vein. My outer shell is the opposite of my inner self. That is what eats me up. I feel like dying, but since death is what I truly fear, there is no way for me to try to suicide or something.

I don't know, if any of you can help me, if there even is help for that. I feel like a spec of dust compared to an universe of colors. I am not, who I seem to be and I have to mask myself. Basically, I am asking, if there is anybrony out there, who knows how to properly deal with death. I searched for answer, but all I found is that we can deny it, but we cannot overcome it. Is there even help to the fear of death itself?
(Don't get me wrong, its not necrophobia or death anxiety, since necrophobia is fear of the dead and death anxiety revolves around fear of dying very soon. My fear is that every single thing I do will be forgotten at some day.)

So, please help?

Thank you all for reading
I hope I didn't get you to think the same way...

Thank you for your help and time

2012419 Life is something to enjoy, not something to wade through until the end. You play with the cards you're dealt, not the ones that suit you the best.

Death is just the final leap on to the next step, whether it be the next life or eternal darkness. It's up for you to decide what you look forward to. Don't waste the gift life gave you just because you know it will go away at some point.

2012419
I know something that has helped me a lot. The question is are you open minded and willing to give new things a shot? If so I can help point you in a direction of something that will help, It has made my life better.

2012419
It's very true that we all die in the end, and we might be forgotten at one point, but that's not what life is about. Death is a part of life, but you shouldn't let it run your life, instead, charish what life you have while you have it, and share it with those you care about while you can. Here's a nice little quote that I happen to like that might help:

Life isn't about getting to the end.

I can't quite remember where it's from, but I hope this helps.

2012419

Hey you got nothing to worry about, alright. It takes a lot to become famous, but Hell if I'm not trying! All you need to do is do what you love to do, if you carve your name in the mountain you have to climb you know you got as far as you could. If you love what you do you'll never work a day in your life. Simply don't die until you know you are happy with what you're leaving behind.

2012442

That is exactly what I didn't meant

I am not trying to suicide. I lead the best life I could possibly lead. But death will come at some point and then it will be over. I try to enjoy it, but I get eaten up by the feeling that it is inevitable to die and thus every action of mine remains without consequence.

I play with my cards very well, probably better than anyone else, and yet I cannot overcome the depression of knowing, that every effort of mine is going to be wasted and every fun hour is going to be forgotten.
I am trying to enjoy it so badly, but it is impossible to enjoy when knowing, that there is an inevitable end. I can basically not relax a single (!) second to enjoy something.

2012449

What is that?

2012466

and you shouldn't let it in your life

That is exactly what I am trying, but I can never succeed. It is impossible for me to just enjoy. On parties f.e. I am unable to enjoy them. I am friendly to people, have the best friends, but I can just not enjoy the party itself. It seems so useless and wasted. Every fun activity always seems wasted to me and I don't know how to change that way of thinking...

2012419
Before I begin, I must first ask: Do you believe in life after death?

2012479

I do what I love and yet I cannot find my peace in it. It is such an substantial problem, the fear of being forgotten, if you want to call it that way. Every second of my life runs by and I realize, that it all speeds up, too. I live a wonderful life, I have wonderful friends, heck, I have the best that could possibly happen to me.
My life is complete, if you will.

And yet I cannot be happy with it. It probably sounds arrogant and stupid, but I can't find happiness even though I have all I ever wished for.

2012419 I understand where you're coming from here, the reason I never went through with my own "attempt" was the fear of death. I was for a long time very concerned with my own mortality, but I found a way to look at it not as a curse but as a gift.

I don't believe in an afterlife or any such religious proposition. I only believe that we must do the best we can with what we are given. Look at it like this if you will. We are only forgotten if we allow ourselves to be. In our lifetime our goal is always to be remembered, whether for the work we did, or for our view on life. No matter how much time passes, no one is ever truly forgotten.

Remember. The journey beats the destination.

I don't know if this helps, but it's really all I can say.

2012528 Actually, it's not. Because you are blessed with such great things, you feel you haven't earned them, is that right?

2012516

No, I do not. Not anymore.

2012503
Long term, it might be wasted, but you don't have to focus on that. Not when there's so much to life you've yet to experience. It's perfectly fine that you don't enjoy being at parties. It isn't about the activity, it's about the people you spend your time with.

2012542

Oh, I have earned them. I have done everything myself. I am proud of what I have built up. I have a wonderful life.

But my time is running out and that is what kills me. It leaves me no second to enjoy life as it fades into the distance. I would love to just tell myself to enjoy it and then do exactly that, however, that is impossible for me. I don't know, why it is impossible, but it is.

2012547
I'm sorry to hear that, that would make life difficult to enjoy.

2012581

And I hope you never lose your faith. It's better that way

2012587
I won't, I have been through to much.

2012419

Yes, it is pretty hopeless, isn't it? Whether one lives from day to day or for a greater purpose, what's the point if, as it were, in the grand scheme you were, are and will be again nothing more than dust.

And as dust, you are cursed to know there is more than dust. At least dust is ignorant of itself; it doesn't realize how small it is because 'realization' is something only thinking things can do. Well, I guess that technically means you are more than dust. But you're nonetheless small and, before the universe can even be alerted to your presence, you are gone.

But, well, then again, the universe isn't the kind of thing that's conscious either, so to talk about it being 'aware of you' might not be right. Well, okay, if we count out all merely material things (insofar as we can speak of materiality at all), we're still specks. For all those things that can be aware of you, there's no guarantee of awareness or memory.

And it's there that you want to find meaning, right? Those feels are deep and true, for how can one be joyful in any activity if all activity is inherently meaningless? Well, okay, I'm probably misspeaking; activities cannot have meaning because, again, they're not conscious. It's only for those sentient beings performing the activities that meaning appears. But, surely, after these beings leave, there will be no more meaning in anything you've done? Well, no, I guess that's not the right way to put it. Such a view, after all, again assumes there was meaning in those activities to begin with, past belonging to those performing them.

Okay, okay. Jeez, this is tougher than I thought. So, at least, the meaning that exists for those performing said activities is fleeting, and that finitude is where our troubles lie. But, then again, if all meaning is just for those performing the activities, then to speak of it being finite is off as well. After all, for as far forward as those thinking things can imagine, the activities they perform will be meaningful, and they can imagine infinitely far into the future. And, since there was never meaning outside of their thoughts in the first place, this projecting into the future is the entire domain in which meaning exists and would want to exist, so even the activity with the most mundane of meaning is immediately in possession of duration's wealth. The very fact that it has meaning already makes it more grand than the entire, material universe because to be "grand" in the first instance only applies to the domain of meaning. There is nothing "grand" for that which cannot perceive meaning.

Well, shoot. I think I've ended up rambling, but I've buried myself in a bit of a ditch here. Now it would seem to me that what I thought I was seeking was, in the first instance, already here. Insofar as I find something meaningful, it is all that it could ever be, and more. If I try to look outside of my, or similarly thoughtful individuals', meaning, I end up in a realm where it is senseless to talk about meaning. And when I consider those things that are meaningful to me or similarly thoughtful individuals, they stretch on indefinitely, past even what I would consider the end of the "material" universe, insofar as I can imagine beyond that end.

Ugh. I give up. Now I'm more confused than depressed.

2012419
Judging by how far science should go during the next century, you might actually not have to experience death.

2012547
Alright. I won't start by spouting assumptions I may not know to be true: i.e. life is precious, life is beautiful, etc. That is all up to an individual's viewpoint. I will only explain why your are depressed (1.), how to counter it (2.), and why should you (3.)

1.) Before I answer why are you depressed, it is first necessary to answer the question "what is depression." And before that, it is first necessary to ask "what is emotion?" An emotion is the psychological effect of an evaluation of an object derived from the subject value-premises. Emotion, unlike consciousness, is automatic and immediate. Emotions respond to the individual's true (for lack of a better term) convictions which is derived from his subconscious repertoire. These convictions may or may not be known by the subject experiencing the emotion. Depression, as we have so far used here, is a general name for a broad range of emotion akin to anger, sadness, and/or anxiety. The subject-object duality in cognition creates the emotion based on the subject's premises evaluating the object. Basically, emotions come from your own beliefs. For example, if your subconscious and true premises are that of a masochists then you might enjoy videos of animal torture; if you're a pacifist then you will regard such videos as an abomination; if you are somewhere in between then your anger and/or excitement is also somewhere in between; if you're premises are contradictory then you'll be confused. Such is the nature of emotions.

Now... What is your premises. I can't help you much here since I honestly do not know you; but I trust that you know yourself, atleast. I can only guess what premises you hold based from your responses in these thread which may be wrong. Therefore, what follows next is up to your own correction:

I realized, that death was inevitable.

I have realized that no matter what we do, it is all for nothing in the long run. No matter what I do or how far I come, in the end my life will inevitably be gone. I will be dead and no remainders of me will be there.

it will all be for nothing. It feels as if I cannot succeed anymore, since in the long run any success will be deleted by death.

I would love to be recalled in thousands of years like only big persons did

The error in your premises is that you take death as an absolute and the standard. You are judging the value of something "as it will be after death" and not "what it is". You already know that death (and taxes) can't be escaped, and so you judge the value of something in how it defeats this inevitability through immortality. It is as though the only thing that can save you now from your depression is if it's your physically immortal (even Aristole/Plato/Julius Ceasar won't be able to last 1M years) which you already know to be impossible. So, by that premises, you judge life as futile and eventually meaningless.

2.) Why not, instead of taking death as an absolute, you take life as the standard for value instead? Do not judge yourself as to how long you'll last but as to what you have, can, and will accomplish. Death is real. You won't be remembered 5 minutes after you're dead. But so what? What matters is how life is lived because when you're dead, you won't be able to see and/or know who are those 50 billion anonymous people who will know your name. So don't measure yourself as to how long you'll last in the memory of people when you're dead, you won't be alive to find out.

3.) Because life makes value possible. Death is the end of life and, therefore, values.

Want to type more but my connection light up and out

Hope this helps.

Feel free to PM for questions and etc. I'm an epistemology major. I study these things.

Edit: Sorry for the wrong grammar, didn't have time to proofread.

2012419
Existential angst and the fear of death.
Yeah, you're in good company in worrying about this one.

The list of people scared of death includes such notables as all of the famous people mentioned by you, and all of the rest of humankind in addition.

Including myself.

There is literally no answer for this one, unfortunately, except for actively trying your best not to dwell on it. Literally try to distract yourself if it rears its head. Or becoming a supervillain is an option.

If you are endlessly worried, and it consumes you, do your very best to stave off death. Take care of yourself. Eat well. Exercise. Pop multivitamins and antioxidants. Get yearly checkups at the doctor.

Basically, buy as much bloody time as you can. Because the only possible silver bullet (that doesn't involve joining a religion and convincing yourself that your consciousness will live on forever) is in the advancement of science. The life expectancy goes up every year. And faster and faster each year too. There might come a time where the life expectancy goes up by more than a year for every year. And then, hey, barring accident of incurable illness, you've won the mortality lottery.

2012749

The life expectancy goes up every year. And faster and faster each year too. There might come a time where the life expectancy goes up by more than a year for every year.

And there probably also will be a time when life expectancy doesn't matter because you can just become a cyborg once your human body is too old, while still keeping your brain and everything that constitutes your person. Isn't that an awesome prospective?

2012768
I can't say I really want a cybernetic body. Unless it's as good as my meaty one, or better. But... yeah. The transhumanist in me would definitely take it.

Of course, all these things are a bit of a ways away. But, hey, one never knows. Technological progress is ever-increasing in speed.

2012651

Whether one lives from day to day or for a greater purpose, what's the point if, as it were, in the grand scheme you were, are and will be again nothing more than dust.

This is my main problem with all these "fear of death" mentality. It is as though to live for oneself is pointless. What is the grand scheme of things anyway? I'm a philosophy major, and I had my fair share of rubbish from philosophers who proclaim that we should all invest our life to that mystical "grand scheme" of things (e.g. Nirvana, Brahman, Tao, God, Historical Dialectic, Dasein, etc.)

I remember having two classmates. One which is self-righteously, almost sarcastically and insultingly, keeps saying that his motto is basically :"What's the point? We're all gonna die anyway." He's now a bum living off his parents handouts and basement playing MMORPG.

Another one is a loud-mouthed girl, our magna cum laude, who's only concerned about earthly, dross, and immediate things: getting grades, success, making tons of money. She once told me, personally, "I'm gonna die; so fucking what?" She's taking her M.A., writing a book, teaching in elementary and college, has tons of friends, and just brought her first car.

Now, when the Big Crunch finally happens again and everything returns to singularity, nobody in the world (or universe) will remember these two. Ashes to ashes; dust to dust. But even so, who wins at life? At life; not death.

2012833

I can't say I really want a cybernetic body. Unless it's as good as my meaty one, or better.

Yeah, that's what I want too. As Gunther Hermann would have said, "i dont want to be a old gray golem for scareing the children in flae markets". But I'm pretty ready to abandon my original body once it becomes too weak to keep on working, if that allows me to avoid dying. Can you just imagine it? That'd be the start of practical immortality! It's just... Thinking of it makes me feel happy.

2012846

I'll simply say that, one, I agree with you, and two, you should reread my post to see whether or not that's really what I end up asserting.

2012854
Oh, don't misunderstand me. I read your post. I'm not attack your point. Just that line you blatantly pointed out and made me remember that friend of mine.

2012864

Ah, understood, friend. I only mean it in its colloquial usage, nebulous as it is; but I will, in the future, be more careful.

2012920
I apologize as well. I should have overall previewed my comment and properly fixed the format and my wording to have avoided the confusion.

2012651

That is so true. But think about it: There is no meaning after all to anything. Since our lives are also destined. The human is nothing but a mere machine processing its surrounding and itself.
I guess it eats me up, that I do not have a free will, am not actually able to do anything. So why does it bother me? Why does it bother me to not be able to do anything meaningful if I am nothing meaningful and do not think myself at all... I am now confused, too

2012697

Oh, that is a thing I really really really really really really really really really really ... (you get where I am going) ... really really really hope for!

2012564 I can't say I know how you feel, but I can say I've been in a similar shoe size. Just know that we only have spoken a little but know that you have a friend.

2012744

Thank you!

This helped. It might not completely have erased the feeling of unworthiness, but it definitely helped.

I realized though a lot of comments, that I also have another problem. I cannot enjoy seconds of my life as I feel like I am wasting them if I enjoy them... Since when I live life to just enjoy life, it feels like I am wasting time I could spend on doing something truly great... Any tips?

Thank you so much !

2012768

That would be awesome

2012979
Yup. I can't wait for it.
And space travel too. I want to go to space. But since it won't happen for at least a century (I mean, deep space travel, out of the solar system), the first thing to do is to become a cyborg.

It's all these future possible things that do it for me, regarding death and all. I feel like enjoying my life now is okay, it's not wasted if I'm happy doing what I want. I'll probably get to see awesome things when I get older, whatever I do now, as long as I don't ruin my body before I can change it for a more time-resistant one.

2012945

No meaning to anything? I hope that's not what you gleaned from my post. Rather, I meant the opposite: meaning is not just everywhere, but is everything. For a thing to appear to us at all, it already appears as something, and this appearing to us as something implies a significance.

Perhaps this is the best time for me to introduce a distinction: There is meaning in the sense of individual interest or passionate significance on the one hand, and meaning in the sense of dividual (whose root is the latin "to divide") interest or passive significance on the other. The former simply states, and it's a shame forum posts do not abide syllogisms better, that if a thing appears to an observer, then the observer is emotionally invested in it. The latter states that if a thing appears to an observer, then the observer has a use invested in it (I'll gloss over the nature of this "investment" for the sake of brevity).

From your posts, I take it that you mean the former, so the former has been my focus. It also saves us the trouble of exploring questions about common usefulness which, I think, is off topic.

So, we're nothing more than machines? That's not something I agreed to, but, even if it were, wouldn't it imply we have meaning, even if that meaning is no more than our acting as machines (dividual significance)? Further, since this is a point of scorn for you, it would also seem to have individual significance, which lack of was, in the first instance, the reason why it was a matter of scorn, so now it must be a matter of pride or joy, for it is fully meaningful!

No free will? Well, that's a whole hornet's nest that I wasn't expecting to enter into here, nor do I feel I'm the right person to talk about it. I will, however, ask you to clarify what you mean by "free will," and we'll see if we can't heal your concerns.

2012697

And this is what I study for. All my knowledge is poured into that point and I will be damned if people say I didn't try.

But what I fear is that if once it's done, I can't use it.

2012975

It might not completely have erased the feeling of unworthiness

That's perfectly normal, the residual feeling that is. That's how the subconscious adopts the conscious mind. If you've lived 20 years of your life believing that 2+2=5, it will be emotionally (not rationally) hard to adjust that 2+2=4 even if you're sure. But once you're sure, the emotion will follow shortly after. Premises like this, I warn you, are very hard and take very long change; i.e. are people naturally good or evil? Is the word benevolent or malevolent? Should I always expect the best or the worst? Should I live my life with rigid principles or with placid half-memorized quotes to be recited when the situation requires it? It requires tremendous effort, self-argument, and intrinsic motivation. But the reward will be how will you view your life thereafter.

I cannot enjoy seconds of my life as I feel like I am wasting them if I enjoy them...

Let me just ask this rhetorical question: what kind of self-immolating self-hating philosophical premise were you led up to believe that you're time is wasted if your time is enjoyed?

Since when I live life to just enjoy life, it feels like I am wasting time I could spend on doing something truly great... Any tips?

Okay, so here we're now delving into the psychology of pleasure. By enjoyment do you mean happiness or pleasure? There is a major difference here. In the field of psychometric and metempirics, pleasure is the somatic sensation inducing the signal that what is felt is beneficial to one's self. Happiness is the emotion of achieving an intrinsic goal. Happiness should the goal of human life; whereas pleasure is but a temporary respite and reward for oneself. It is alright to feel pain if it means one will be happy in the end (e.g. staying home and wracking your brains out writing a fic than going out clubbing), in such a case, pleasure is invested. The problem with most people is that they equate pleasure with happiness. You can see it in the kind who overindulges themselves in the alleged pleasures of life such as wine, drugs, cigarettes and sex. These pursuits are fine, assuming the subject pursuing this knows that pleasure is his reward for his integrity, honor, discipline, etc. The person who is trying to make pleasure his end or ultimate goal is trying to fake the necessary preconditions needed to make these pleasures possible, and rewarding, in the first place.

I could spend on doing something truly great

By the way, let me add something here in case your premise here is still unchallenged: you have no duty to anyone but yourself. By great, it does not necessarily mean great in the eyes of others or majority.

Edit: sorry again for the grammar errors. Hard to edit in an iPad.

2013215

I agree with this post. Spikestash for you.

2013215

I can only thank you so much!

You really helped

2013346
You're welcome...

But I warn you that the hard part comes now should you choose to identify your premises and translate it to rigid principles. It'll be the tug-of-war for your soul and integrity. Most people don't have any principles/premises these days because they're afraid of the battle not knowing that losing the result if they ever default.

Now, I'm no saint to myself. I've had lost battles. One of my principles is that I should not substitute justice over mercy, specifically in the act of grading my students. I've always believed that if I had mercy to those who failed my subject it'll be treason to those who passed. Well, one day, the director's son failed because I caught him plagiarizing his final paper. The director told me, in the casual manner of a person confiding with a conspirator, to drop the charges and let his son pass. When I said no, he threatened to reduce my teaching units from 24 to 9. So it was either I drop the principle I believed in or teach in the next semester with very, very low salary. In the end, I gave in. Teaching was never the same after that. I couldn't look at an honest eager student in the eye to this day.

I know this is a silly answer, but I'm putting it out there anyway.

Time capsules. Make one. Bury it. Hundreds of years later, person finds it, remembers you. Hope this helps.

2012419
Death comes for us all, for what is life without death? What's important isn't that you die, it's how you live that really counts. Make someone's day great, and you've already done more than some.

2012419 Actually, I had the same problem some months ago, and then, I tried to find answers. And actually, I found something to get hope.

Sorry about my english, if I do some mistake.

Well, we are the living legacy of those who lived before. No matter what, but everything you are going to do in your live is going to influence in the future. Even if they will not remember you, even if you think everything is going to be deleted.

Without your parents, you wouldn't exist, and them wouldn't without your grandparents. Even if you don't have sons in your life, it doesn't matter. Think about your teacher, you are influenced by him, part of him lives in you. Actually, part of everybody you know lives in you.

So... you have an influence in everyone who knows you. Maybe a little detail, maybe you inspire them the optimism or a nice way of life.

In your class, in your work, in your family... you can teach something to them, something that someone had teached to you before or something you found by yourself, no matter what, then, they will learn and maybe, your influence will help them in their life. Their life will be an influence at the same time to all those who they know, and imagine... follow the chain, think about the posibilities... maybe one of them will become famous, or do something really awesome, and all of it depends on people like you and me.

We are all conected, with those who came before and with those that are going to come to this wonderful life.

Oh, and by the way, have a nice song, listen it and after that, we will continue... um... if you have time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jukv9Q1eR2g

Well, when I had that problem, I prayed a lot, I wanted a solution, not a religious one, but something universal. Even if I belive in God, I have the same problem in this life, you know. When I got this one, I prayed and gave a little thanks and promised that if someday, someone needed my help, I would try to cheer him up. And now, I was reading this one, saying to myself that this wasn't even possible and looking to an image of Christ and saying: "Oh, you..."

If I made a single person to live with hope and happy, then, my life was worth. If don't... My happiness is to try it.

Oh, wow... what a lot of words... sorry about it. Hope it helped a little.

2012419>>2012442>>2012449>>2012554>>2012479>>2012651>>2012697>>2012744>>2012749>>2012852
I suffered from the same logic issue. Only recently did I realize something.

In the end we all die but humanity lives on. Who we are is not this flesh and sinew its the people that have seen us and the words that we have said. As we walk through life we touch a billion lives and billions of lives, that have been, touch us. Through us the past lives and so we will live. Your influence, your words, will have ripples and effects for eternity even to the end of the universe.

and beyond.

If you think that humanity may cease you are wrong. It is in our nature to overcome and to change. Even if the beings a billion years from now no longer share our flesh they will have our spirit.

The only question is how much of an impact are you going to make?

2012419

I have spent many years of my life contemplating spirituality. Reading scripture and books from many religions and spending time in contemplation and prayer. You are not alone in your worry. Many people over the years have wrestled with this issue.

To live is to be in constant change. In every second of time whole world is destroyed and recreated thousands of times. The flow of time is a rushing river that never stops. What has come before us is destroyed and everything we will ever know will similarly be destroyed. This is the essence of reality. We grasp for meaning and stability, but we are never satisfied.

Life without a focus is meaningless. You ask what is the point if everything I am ceases to be when I am dead? The solution you are looking for is in your own heart. Some people reach out to God, and others focus on making the world a better place. The fact you are worried about others forgetting you means you are looking to connect with other people.

Find a way to make connections and be in a community. Join a church, volunteer, or a club. Let the future take care of itself and reach out to others in this moment, and you will find what you are looking for.