It's called Persephone, and involves Harshwhinny x Prim Hemline. When was the last time you saw that pairing, besides never? Let's make sure we light up the story's comments section the same way we all light up this wonderful group. I say non-sarcastically that I'm sure Present Perfect will love it, especially the Skywriter talking to himself part. Happy Harsh Year, everypony!

>tfw story is already in group before join

WHAT IS THIS

4957616
Are you sure that PP will "non-sarcastically" love me spamming his comments by talking to myself? I would think that would get old really quick.

4957842
Nah, everyone loves watching you talk to yourself. Go for it.

4957843
Still dubious. I should go read the story now.

4957718
It is the undiluted sorcery of a rabid character-specific group, PP. My army of spies and secret policeponies are everywhere.

4957847
At last, I understand your true power.

4957852
You have only scratched the surface of that understanding, grasshopper. I have powers you have not even dreamed of.

For example, I can construct a sandwich out of one slice of bread and the contents of a well-stocked free condiment rack.

( Skywriter )

4957860
That's nothing compared to MY powers. I can embed my comments in other users' posts.
- Skywriter

4958280
That's... pretty scary, Sky.

4957860

What type of condiments are in a well-stocked condiment rack?

I mean, you could cut the slice of bread in half, put and put some mustard on it and some relish and ketchup. Would pickles be in there? I could probably make a bread and pickle and condiment sandwich...

--Sweetie Belle

4958458
Pickled onions as well.

4958495

Probably some horseradish, too, then. It's already sounding like a sandwich, though it'd be nicer if a slice of cheese or two was in there somewhere.

--Sweetie Belle

4958965
Hm. Well, the only cheese I've ever seen on a condiment rack is those little packets of grated Parmesan for pizza toppings. Would that do?

4957852
4957860

Don't be too impressed. It's pretty well an open secret around here that Skywriter is just a sockpuppet for Princess Cadence.

4961554
That's... that's ridiculous! I am so obviously a male human and typing this into a laptop with my fingers, instead of using telekinesis to manipulate a magical teletype device in Equestria. Suggesting otherwise is ludicrous, I say. Ludicrous! Now I am going to go off and eat a "hamburger" which is another thing that humans obviously do, perfectly appropriate inasmuch as that is what I am!

4963736

Have you been reading through where I keep my random fanfiction writing that never seems to end up going anywhere again?

He sniffed at the air, and smelled a wonderfully chocolaty smell, the type of smell that brings a smile to your face. The smell that only a batch of freshly made, rich and chocolaty brownies can give off. Chocolate batter and chocolate frosting, with even more warm gooey chocolate baked inside, and he should be able to sample the first one any minute now.

That couldn't come soon enough, as just the smell was driving him crazy. How long did he have, anyways? He pushed a blue sleeve up, exposing one of his pale pink arms, and glanced at his watch. Just as he did this, a loud ding went off from the direction of the kitchen. That was it. Time to go harvest the rewards of his hard work.

He got up from the couch, and walked over to the kitchen. It took him a bit to get there, as he only had two legs, but as a human he was used to that by now. More important was the oven he was approaching.

As he went to grab the handle of the oven door, he reconsidered. It was hot to the touch, and his hands didn't have any fur. He didn't want to get burned. Picking up a towel with his long, flexible fingers, he opened the oven door, and the chocolate in the air got even stronger. He could almost taste those brownies!

--Sweetie Belle

4964172
You have completely encapsulated the human experience.

4964172
HUMANVERSE LIVES

4963736
Oh, quit it, Aunty. You're not fooling anypony. Don't you have some tea you should be drinking? Or perhaps some tax policy documents to review?

4964454
Ridiculous, Mi Amor—er, I mean, some strange pony replying to my Aethernet posts I have never met before and certainly do not know personally. It's not as though the increasingly-long nights prior to the Solstice these past few weeks gave me plenty of time to develop a troubling addiction to this communication device. That would be silly.

Also, I cannot get past the fourth level in this thing called "Crypt of the Necrodancer." I was hoping you might have some insights, since the heroine is apparently you. Please help. The governance of Equestria is being negatively impacted. Or rather, it would be negatively impacted if I were a large and quite-beautiful-for-her-age alicorn who also happened to be a sitting diarch. Which I clearly am not.

In conclusion I am about to eat "meatballs" and drink "beer" which is are both very human things to do.

4964445
Well, obviously. Because we are humans.

4964359
4964445

Thanks!

As I said, this was from a while back. I know people like stories with humans in them, and I'd heard stories with brownies in Equestria are popular. I like eating brownies, so I started writing it. I just never got back to it after a page or so.

Of course, I'd imagine you have to be careful writing these things. It seems to me like those fingers could make characters a little overpowered.

--Sweetie Belle

4964566
Let me remind you that those horns of yours can potentially turn frogs into oranges, whereas our fingers simply allow us to pick up balls slightly more easily.

4964467
As a human, I find that kind of blatant typecasting very offensive. And yes, there is a human at this keyboard. Ms. Doo/Hooves/Eyes/Muffins/DATA ERROR is merely my representative and Æthernet service provider (or "ash ess pee," as the cool kids call it.)

4964723

Maybe Twilight's horn can do that. How much magic have you seen most unicorns doing? Levitating small objects and something related to their special talent? And how much magic can you do before you're tired? I bet a lot less then doing things with fingers.

How far do you think you'd get trying to scratch behind somepony's ears with magic? That's pretty awkward with hooves. Just remember the ponies you see doing a lot of magic are the ones really good at it.

Why would you turn a frog into an orange, anyway? I sure wouldn't want to eat the orange afterward.

--Sweetie Belle

4965866
hey

hey look

fiiingers

Oh, and he turns it into a snake, too, for good measure.

4969637

Well... that was also David Bowie. David Bowie is magic. Besides being a human and a goblin king here, he was also an alien. He probably was an unicorn, too. Maybe an alicorn, even.

[youtube=4B5zmDz4vR4]

--Sweetie Belle

4974319
David Bowie is all things glam. He is almost as glam as Harshwhiny.

4964454

You cannot fool me.

The truth yearns to be free.

Also, not cool attempting to set your aunt up for the fall. Not only might she feel betrayed if she knew, but it's not very convincing. We all know that Princess Celestia is super beautiful, while Skywriter is more pink and adorable. You can't fake that kind of pinkness.

I'm right, aren't I, Princess Cadence?

4974505
Wow. That's the first time I've seen a hyperlink used as an actual conversational element.