A pregnant unicorn mare is sent out into the wasteland to find a suitable settlement where the people from her dying, overcrowded Stable could thrive in. But even with a task as daunting as this, things in the Equestrian wasteland are never easy.
Eh. The way things are going is pretty damn forced if you ask me. Especially with them saying 'welp she saved a bunch of kids from senseless slavery is not murder, so do me a favor and kill her for getting the town that was sacrificing kids burnt to the ground.'
6460736 I think even with the "giving the children away for slavery" thing, casuing the destruction (as he thinks) of one of the only things keeping the Zona fed and supplied (Plumwood) is a perfectly reasonable thing to put a bounty on someone's head over
Think of it this way >Plumwood gives food to everyone >Plumwood is now dead >severe lack of food now, since the Zona, for the most part, an infertile mess
So now the Zona is fucked because of Leaky, in any way you spin it Though, Muckraker is blowing the whole thing out of proportion by stating that Leaky and whatever really DID destroy Plumwood were allied
So he creates this mass hysteria where everyone needs to stop Leaky or else more towns will be destroyed
6462663 because anyone would trust a guy like that to begin with. especially, as this is all linked to equestria still, we have Djpon3 who would be maing 'his' own opinion on the matter. And the opinion of djpon3 would hold an assload more weight.
Also it creates the plot hole of why they burned down the primary source of food in the area to begin with. Now the slavers are gonna starve too. So even asking for slaves when they could get more food is another issue. They just fucked themselves over all the ways here.
6462675 Muckraker's station signal is their only radio signal in the entire Zona, and hence, their only news source DJ-PON3 doesn't reach this far, and also, this is 60 years before Pip came out of her Stable.
Light spoilers: the "slavers" aren't from the Zona. They're purposely shrouded in mystery. On purpose. No, theyre not aliens.
6462690 dude, the signal from the timpony tower can only be blocked when someone is actively blocking it, like red eye. Not to mention that this area also likely has the towers and their cameras that exist throughout equestria.
and just because thsee slavers are not from around there, it does not change the fact that this town was the ONLY town that had considerable supplies in the entire zone. now, they are without those easy supplies and would have to rely on whatever allies they have bringing them in.
so again, the logic kinda falls apart. even if they want to punish them they are as reliant on the supplies as anyone.
6462748 I am being warned that you do this kind of thing to a lot of people, so I'm just gonna...ya know. Dip on out of here and not let you have your fun.
Enjoy the rest story. Or not. No skin off my scrote.
6463163 ..... Noo you are being told by a lot of guys who can't handle any criticism at all and who are basically acting like trolls and telling everyone 'don't listen to this fuck' no matter the circumstances. Seriously, you would think complaints such as 'wouldn't celestia believe twilight over this random character you created' or that 'killing off random characters so bluntly is just bad writing' would ring rather true. Or that generally a story is unbalanced and favoritism is being played where it doesn't even make sense.
But go ahead, listen to those people. Just ignore any and all criticism. It's not like criticism is important when you are creating, to give you input outside of your viewpoint.
But if you decide that maybe you shouldn't listen to a sterile echochamber, take this into account. No invasive force blindly destroys the surrounding resources, especially when they are scarce. These idiots gotta eat too. And if they are organized, that means they would definitely know better than to destroy the only sustainable source of food in the area. Cause all that is gonna do it impact their mission. And that the timpony signal and the towers would not, for some reason, isolate just one section of land.
Though seriously, if i find outwho is saying this bullshit about me, i'm gonna report them. Cause think about it. If i was legitimately harassing people, then why would i even be on this site still?
6463959 Don't get me wrong, I'm going to take your...whatever you tried to do, to heart and make sure to specify later, putting your hesitances to rest
But I'm not going to keep shitting up the comments here arguing with you, is what I meant.
Just gonna cover chapters 2 and 3 together. I feel like they form a single arc, the 'Plumwood arc' if you will.
(Spoilers in case anyone's reading the comments before reading the story)
I'll admit I was immediately suspicious of Plum from the very beginning, even before they arrived at town. The way she didn't seem all that distraught over seeing a filly killed right in front of her, to calmly asking Leaky to mercy-kill the wounded Flanamingo had me suspicious from the start. (The Flanamingos are an awesome monster by the way)
The 'peaceful-town-with-a-dark-secret' trope is nothing new, especially in Fallout and FoE, and I like that you tried to do something different with it, but... and I hate to say this... I think it takes away the impact. Up until the reveal, I was expecting the town to be cultists sacrificing children in order to keep their trees alive. From my perspective, the ponies of Plumwood seem more like the victims, being forced to either give up their children or get slaughtered. They did a horrible thing, but they don't have much of a choice to begin with.
That brings me to the character of Plum Pudding. Her fake smiles, her overly chipper mood, the short outbursts of anger... You can practically feel how frustrated she is with her situation, to the point of trying to prove to herself that the sacrifices she's making are all for the greater good, no matter how painful it is. I even enjoyed the talks she had with Leaky, even though most of the time it was painfully obvious her words were alluding to something deeply wrong, and were not just idle conversation. Plum was well written. She wasn't pure evil, just forced to make an impossible choice.
But on to the other new character, Dog. I want to like the guy, but he just feels so awkwardly out of place. He's obviously afraid of the ponies in Plumwood who tortured and forced him to work for them, to the point he won't try to fight or run away. But how did they capture him in the first place? If he's so afraid of the ponies in Plumwood, why did he suddenly get the courage to fight them head on after Leaky rescued him? His reasons for helping her just seem incredibly shallow, and it feels more like Dog was there more to even the odds for Leaky then to have any meaningful impact on the plot.
This is just personal opinion talking now, but I think a climax where Leaky used diplomacy to reason her way out, or stealth to sneak away with the children in tow would have been more thrilling than 'Sic the Hellhound on them. Everypony but Plum runs away in terror. Tragic final confrontation.
Soft green blades tickled the undersides of her hooves as she ran them through a particularly green patch and couldn’t help but smile. The scent of various flowers were carried by a soft, gentle breeze that playfully brushed her mane aside. The bakeries opened early this morning, so the streets were filled with the delicate, buttery aromas of fresh baked goods.
An ocean of green came into view as she happily made her way out of the bustling town. Mares and stallions of various shapes and sizes worked tirelessly, tending to tall majestic trees carrying a bounty of fruits. Workers on ladders carried baskets on their backs and plucked ripe rewards from their sagging branches while the ponies below them dug trenches, placing healthy-looking crops into the modest holes and moving on to the next row.
Okay, i've read too much FoE and played too much Fallout to not get the impression that this is too good to be true.
Dog calling her Mama kinda came outta nowhere. I'm hoping it's like a dog/animal instinct thing where he can tell she's pregnant by her smell or something.
I suspected they were selling the kids off, but at the mention of the other groups armor, I thought it'd be Steel Rangers, bUT it seems lIke a worse group than raiders and slavers combined, wonder who they are.
Plus a few kids a week?! How does the mayor or even the town hope to fill that quota in the long run? Guess that Firtility talisman would've really come in handy.
To summarize my reaction while reading:
at first I was
derpicdn.net/img/2012/6/17/4850/large.png
then I was
derpicdn.net/img/2014/5/27/638191/large.png
and then
derpicdn.net/img/2012/8/23/81010/large.png
Without dramatic situations, it wouldn't be a proper Fallout Equestria story. Good job
Eh, I'm forcing myself to read on at this point...
Love it. It's shaping up nicely from the days of the contest.
Characters feel better and Plum Pudding in particular is more tragic this way ;.;
Goodness! This is way worse than cannibals
6448901
I've read worse from MN7 and ppl love that one.
Really though you think you found paridise turns out shits deeper. Good start to how FU fallout equestria is. Poor Plum.
6450121
"worse" in the good way, I hope!
6447884
Glad I got such wide range of reactions from you!
6452868
Ah, don't mind him. He's hinted at his severe dislike of FoE in general, you can't please everyone.
6454711
Then he can plain and simply not read them. Seems to be a pretty silly thing to keep doing if you don't enjoy it the first few times.
Eh. The way things are going is pretty damn forced if you ask me. Especially with them saying 'welp she saved a bunch of kids from senseless slavery is not murder, so do me a favor and kill her for getting the town that was sacrificing kids burnt to the ground.'
Really, really forced dude.
6460736
I think even with the "giving the children away for slavery" thing, casuing the destruction (as he thinks) of one of the only things keeping the Zona fed and supplied (Plumwood) is a perfectly reasonable thing to put a bounty on someone's head over
Think of it this way
>Plumwood gives food to everyone
>Plumwood is now dead
>severe lack of food now, since the Zona, for the most part, an infertile mess
So now the Zona is fucked because of Leaky, in any way you spin it
Though, Muckraker is blowing the whole thing out of proportion by stating that Leaky and whatever really DID destroy Plumwood were allied
So he creates this mass hysteria where everyone needs to stop Leaky or else more towns will be destroyed
So how is that forced?
6462663 because anyone would trust a guy like that to begin with. especially, as this is all linked to equestria still, we have Djpon3 who would be maing 'his' own opinion on the matter. And the opinion of djpon3 would hold an assload more weight.
Also it creates the plot hole of why they burned down the primary source of food in the area to begin with. Now the slavers are gonna starve too. So even asking for slaves when they could get more food is another issue. They just fucked themselves over all the ways here.
6462675
Muckraker's station signal is their only radio signal in the entire Zona, and hence, their only news source
DJ-PON3 doesn't reach this far, and also, this is 60 years before Pip came out of her Stable.
Light spoilers: the "slavers" aren't from the Zona. They're purposely shrouded in mystery. On purpose. No, theyre not aliens.
6462690 dude, the signal from the timpony tower can only be blocked when someone is actively blocking it, like red eye. Not to mention that this area also likely has the towers and their cameras that exist throughout equestria.
and just because thsee slavers are not from around there, it does not change the fact that this town was the ONLY town that had considerable supplies in the entire zone. now, they are without those easy supplies and would have to rely on whatever allies they have bringing them in.
so again, the logic kinda falls apart. even if they want to punish them they are as reliant on the supplies as anyone.
6462748
I am being warned that you do this kind of thing to a lot of people, so I'm just gonna...ya know. Dip on out of here and not let you have your fun.
Enjoy the rest story. Or not. No skin off my scrote.
6463163 ..... Noo you are being told by a lot of guys who can't handle any criticism at all and who are basically acting like trolls and telling everyone 'don't listen to this fuck' no matter the circumstances.
Seriously, you would think complaints such as 'wouldn't celestia believe twilight over this random character you created' or that 'killing off random characters so bluntly is just bad writing' would ring rather true. Or that generally a story is unbalanced and favoritism is being played where it doesn't even make sense.
But go ahead, listen to those people. Just ignore any and all criticism. It's not like criticism is important when you are creating, to give you input outside of your viewpoint.
But if you decide that maybe you shouldn't listen to a sterile echochamber, take this into account.
No invasive force blindly destroys the surrounding resources, especially when they are scarce. These idiots gotta eat too. And if they are organized, that means they would definitely know better than to destroy the only sustainable source of food in the area. Cause all that is gonna do it impact their mission. And that the timpony signal and the towers would not, for some reason, isolate just one section of land.
Though seriously, if i find outwho is saying this bullshit about me, i'm gonna report them. Cause think about it. If i was legitimately harassing people, then why would i even be on this site still?
6463959
Don't get me wrong, I'm going to take your...whatever you tried to do, to heart and make sure to specify later, putting your hesitances to rest
But I'm not going to keep shitting up the comments here arguing with you, is what I meant.
Aaaaah. There we go. Too good to be true, it's always the case.
I also suspected the monster being a good guy.
As for Muckracker? He can go This is censored. What did you expect?
the heck is a boogie?
Just gonna cover chapters 2 and 3 together. I feel like they form a single arc, the 'Plumwood arc' if you will.
(Spoilers in case anyone's reading the comments before reading the story)
I'll admit I was immediately suspicious of Plum from the very beginning, even before they arrived at town. The way she didn't seem all that distraught over seeing a filly killed right in front of her, to calmly asking Leaky to mercy-kill the wounded Flanamingo had me suspicious from the start. (The Flanamingos are an awesome monster by the way)
The 'peaceful-town-with-a-dark-secret' trope is nothing new, especially in Fallout and FoE, and I like that you tried to do something different with it, but... and I hate to say this... I think it takes away the impact. Up until the reveal, I was expecting the town to be cultists sacrificing children in order to keep their trees alive. From my perspective, the ponies of Plumwood seem more like the victims, being forced to either give up their children or get slaughtered. They did a horrible thing, but they don't have much of a choice to begin with.
That brings me to the character of Plum Pudding. Her fake smiles, her overly chipper mood, the short outbursts of anger... You can practically feel how frustrated she is with her situation, to the point of trying to prove to herself that the sacrifices she's making are all for the greater good, no matter how painful it is. I even enjoyed the talks she had with Leaky, even though most of the time it was painfully obvious her words were alluding to something deeply wrong, and were not just idle conversation. Plum was well written. She wasn't pure evil, just forced to make an impossible choice.
But on to the other new character, Dog. I want to like the guy, but he just feels so awkwardly out of place. He's obviously afraid of the ponies in Plumwood who tortured and forced him to work for them, to the point he won't try to fight or run away. But how did they capture him in the first place? If he's so afraid of the ponies in Plumwood, why did he suddenly get the courage to fight them head on after Leaky rescued him? His reasons for helping her just seem incredibly shallow, and it feels more like Dog was there more to even the odds for Leaky then to have any meaningful impact on the plot.
This is just personal opinion talking now, but I think a climax where Leaky used diplomacy to reason her way out, or stealth to sneak away with the children in tow would have been more thrilling than 'Sic the Hellhound on them. Everypony but Plum runs away in terror. Tragic final confrontation.
Okay, i've read too much FoE and played too much Fallout to not get the impression that this is too good to be true.
Knew it. This sector's a bust.
Dog calling her Mama kinda came outta nowhere. I'm hoping it's like a dog/animal instinct thing where he can tell she's pregnant by her smell or something.
I suspected they were selling the kids off, but at the mention of the other groups armor, I thought it'd be Steel Rangers, bUT it seems lIke a worse group than raiders and slavers combined, wonder who they are.
Plus a few kids a week?! How does the mayor or even the town hope to fill that quota in the long run? Guess that Firtility talisman would've really come in handy.
Real shame they couldn't talk it out.