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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Interesting ending... and a very thrilling chapter, I'm sorry for taking so long to get back to it! Also, I really like the Kalita part!
8664577
Thank you! I was pretty hyped to get this chapter out (and tbh the next three). Your continuous comments and help are greatly appreciated.
8664850
You are welcome! I’m looking forward to them, then
Ahh dash we meet again. One thing about that whole segment, beside show don't tell us that there are a growing epidemic of drug users, is that dash is based on Jet, and Jet is an wasteland invention, made with brahmin shit as its main ingredient. If you haven't played the old games would that little tidbit of info slip you by since Jet was introduced in Fo2.
Beside that, a stimulant that screws with your perception of time so you see the misery there are happening around you in even shaper details, making your thoughts shaper as they flew faster trough your mind... That does not sound like something for a refuge camp. I find it more likely that they would be sniffing a form of glue, making hunger pains and all the other pains of the mind just flow away, but hey that is just me.
So all in all does it not really fit into a pre-war flashback, especially when you think about how zebras are a pretty shamanistic race that are masters of brewing potions. If I was you would I use something else than dash, something original that could peek its ugly head inside again later.
Yea... even in Fo does healing items take some time to do their work, and in survival will a potion a potion not do anything for broken bones... Just saying that while this is based on a game, and while it have magic... remember your suspension of disbelief
And that ending... Normally would I say that this just planted a lot of questions in my mind, but with how sparing you are with your words and how quickly you move the plot along do I think that you have just planted a lot of unanswered questions
And that last few lines... yea that is so gonna bite you in the butt Ardent.
Nitpick:
Ministry of Morale Outpatient Facility Don't know if you have gone back and changed the others to this, but else consistency
"We stepped inside, a balcony had a view of where we were taking cover. The ground glowed a dark, smoldering red and nothing remained of the town." All of this, while it makes sense, could be reworded to flow better.
8718698
That's some interesting info about dash and jet lol. Hope I'm not disappointing but the only reason the reference to dash is in there is because in the original Fallout Equestria that's the drug they are dealing with in Zebratown. The only reason I bring it up is so there is a reference to where this is on the timeline.
The hud display for town names I just wanted to make bold, I thought I was being clever the first time I did it because I also placed it in a time lapse indicator, didn't mean to set a precedent.