• Member Since 12th Mar, 2014

GanAfterDark


I am one with the salmon. -Gan

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Total Words: 5,776
Estimated Reading: 23 minutes

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E

The Cutie Mark Crusaders cut the tails off their sisters. It goes well. Sort of.

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Chapters (1)
E

Most other fics on this site I've noticed try to lure in viewers and readers by having a new, interesting and original premise, maybe a fancy piece of cover art or some such thing and a description that is very hurr durr 3deep5u. When it works, it's ridiculously successful, like Emma Watson and Jennifer Lawrence starring as lesbians in a zombie apocalypse movie. When it doesn't work, it's just embarrassing, like letting your dog out and not expecting him to dash off after Generic Thing Dogs Hateā„¢, and then when he does you have to chase after him in your bathrobe, and while chasing him you run by your boss who's suddenly decided to take up jogging in your neighborhood that very morning, and your dog suddenly decides that his shoe is indistinguishable from a fire hydrant with milkbones for tits.
In this story, I've decided to skirt the whole ordeal, I'm not going to try and dance for you with an OC HiE story on a hurr durr premise, what you get is what you get, and I do what I want.
Anyway this story is a HiE story, except unlike probably every single other fic you'll ever read in this one Humans and Ponies don't speak the same language. And that's probably a holey premise in itself, given that in the show ponies speak English rather fluently. But I don't care, as previously stated I do what I want, and I'm tired of stories that involve space aliens in general skipping over the fact that the aliens conveniently speak every language on Earth including Pig Latin.
The Human character is Anon, a nameless faceless human that you all can project yourselves upon. But I don't want to remove my own cynical self too far from the story, so Anon is a snarky, satirical, misanthropic loner with a penchant for run on sentences and perplexing metaphors. And the only other character I'm allowing to speak English is Discord, because he's mother bucking Discord, he does what he wants, we're very alike in that respect.
Read it if you want, if not, why did you read all this to the very end, have you nothing better to do? Well if that's true then just read it, it won't kill you, you ungrateful (expletive).

Chapters (2)