Blue is the Spookiest Colour (RB Vs. The Shadow God, Chapter 1)

Previously, on The Shadow God:

Murder most foul!

And now:

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We open the first real chapter with... tennis.

It was only a matter of minutes before Mark Williams made himself look like a fool in front of the camera. Todd Harris borrowed his dad’s video camera for the day, deciding that it would be a good laugh to record Mark’s horrendous tennis skills.

At least it isn't baseball.

Now, there's an interesting thing going on, here. Usually when starting a chapter, the first character to be mentioned is the current POV character. It's a common trick to tell your reader who it is we'll be following for the time being. Here, however, the first character to be mentioned is this Mark kid, who is not our POV character for this chapter. That honor goes to Craig, who is first mentioned in the second paragraph:

Craig stood off to the side, laughing his ass off. “Oh my God!” he exclaimed cheerily. “And you mean to tell me all of this is on tape?”

It's a very small thing, but it's an interesting small thing, so I figured I'd make a note of it.

Anyway, they make fun of Mark's lack of tennis skills. Mark then tells them that if it was golf they were playing, things would be different. Craig and Todd declare they'd never be seen on the golf course because golf is lame.

And then, uh...

“Have you ever tried it?” Mark asked.
Craig shook his head. “And I’m not gonna.”
“Then don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it.”
Todd fixed his gaze on Mark. “Hey, have you ever screwed a fat chick?”
“Lord no!” Mark exclaimed.
Craig and Todd looked at each other, and then in unison said, “Don’t knock it until you try it!” They burst out laughing.

Haaaaah.

Craig looked at Mark earnestly, squeezing his shoulder tight. “But not that you would know what head feels like because you’re still a fucking virgin!” He and Todd burst out laughing again and gave each other another high-five.
Mark fumed, gripping his racket tighter. Craig knew Mark hated to be teased about not ever getting any pussy. But, hey, there was always that one friend in everyone’s high school circle who was still a virgin. There was absolutely nothing wrong with it, except in the male virgin’s eyes. It was just something fun to tease the virgins about. The fact was, most people who teased virgins about being a virgin were virgins themselves. But, not in Craig and Todd’s case, unfortunately for Mark.

So Craig's a dick, is what you're telling me.

We then get some exposition about Craig himself. Basic stuff about his appearance, including his height, which is 6'3", making him slightly taller than me, the right bastard.

The narrator explains how Craig met Mark.

One day, after a week of basic algebra, the hot teacher, who wore miniskirts, (Craig loved it when she wrote on the chalkboard, because her ass jiggled perfectly as she did it) called upon Mark to go to the chalkboard, but he couldn’t because he had an erection. After a minute, the teacher finally understood. Her cheeks flared red, and she quickly called on someone else.
That was the funniest damn thing Craig had ever seen.

Well, it's certainly a unique way to introduce a character, I'll give it that. Also a very horny one.

It's explained that the only reason Craig hangs out with Mark at all is because he finds him amusing, but in like a mean way? So Craig's still a dick, despite what the narrator has to say about how good of friends they are.

But all in all, they were all about having fun. That’s what made them such good friends. They fed off each other’s company, taking them through four years of good times clear to their graduation.

The narrator then explains how they're all going to the same community college now, and then further explains that the best part of Craig being friends with Mark and Todd is that they understand when he's going through tough times:

They knew about his father and how angry it made Craig every time the justice system was brought up. They knew his mother was singled out by the community for what happened twenty years ago at the church where Father Spiers preached. They also knew Craig was subject to have a lot of bad days ahead of him, because he suffered from manic depression.

Manic depression is another term for bipolar disorder. I can't wait to see how this book handles mental health issues. And by 'can't wait', I mean 'I could wait forever'.

We segue from discussion of Mark and Todd into some information about Craig's girlfriend, Kristy.

...Craig was quick to sweep her off her feet and swoon her with his crazy antics.

Ooh, crazy antics, my favourite. Also, I knew a person can swoon, but can you swoon a person? I don't think you can.

Craig and Todd continue to play tennis. Then someone joins them.

All three boys looked up and saw the most incredible looking blonde the world had ever seen walking toward them. Her hair hung in golden tassels down past her shoulders. Her eyes sparkled blue as her smile radiated. She wore short denim shorts that were fringed at the bottom, revealing long tanned legs. She also had on a white tank top that revealed some major cleavage. She walked with the swift gracefulness of a runway model. It was Kristy.

Keep it in your pants, narrator.

I would like to point out that Mark got one line about his appearance, and we have no idea what Todd looks like, but Mr. Rayburn pulls out all the stops when it comes to how hot his protagonist's girlfriend may be. That said, a character's general appearance is often one of the least important things about a character in prose, so make of that what you will.

Another weird thing is that the author introduced Kristy as a character first through the narration, then has her actually show up. Would it not have been better to have the narrator give his spiel after she was present?

Anyway, Todd and Mark go back to tennis while Craig goes to talk to Kristy.

And then Craig says this:

Craig laughed and then hugged her. “I know,” he said. “Yer my whittle yummy pie and I love you bunches.”

Yep. That's exactly how college-age couples talk to each other. Mhm.

Kristy kisses Craig (with tongue), and Craig starts to get an erection. I'm so glad Mr. Rayburn left in that important detail.

Kristy then leaves, leaving us to wonder what the point of her being there was. The three boys continue to play tennis until the sun sets.

For Craig, tennis with his friends was an escape from reality. He was able to forget about the things that were happening at home, at night.

There's this old rule in writing that's called "Show, Don't Tell". The basic gist of it is that it is more interesting and more engaging to show your readers something, rather than just telling it to them directly. And that rule doesn't always apply, and great writers can bend and even break that convention when they want to. But Mr. Rayburn isn't a great writer, and this is a prime example of when to apply the rule.

The issue continues with the narrator telling us that Craig has been hearing whispering coming from the walls of his room at night since he turned twenty, something that could easily have benefited from receiving its own scene. We learn that Craig has not told anyone about this because he thinks it's embarrassing.

It would be just too embarrassing for him if he told anyone he was hearing strange voices in his bedroom at night. He knew he would be laughed at. People always laughed at other people like that.

Bit thin-skinned, our Craig. He does decide to tell Kristy that night, though.

Craig goes home, where he learns he has received a letter from his father. The narrator feels the need to explain that his father went to jail for murdering that doctor in the prologue, which we really could have pieced together without his help. Also, the doctor he killed's last name is Underwood, which would make him a relative of mine. Well, of my pseudonym, at least.

More exposition about their family relationship, which I will omit because I already talked about how it brings the reading experience down. The basic gist is that Craig's father claims innocence for the crime, that Craig's mom is getting old, and that Craig is holding on to hope that his father will someday be released from prison so they can be a real family.

Craig opens the letter. In it, his father tells Craig that he's been having weird dreams, a lot of which are about the woods. He asks Craig to come visit him, without bringing his mother, so they can talk more about the dreams.

Then Kristy shows up, and the letter is set aside.

Craig folded his letter and shoved it into his pocket, and then stepped into the living room. He looked up and saw his girlfriend looking as gorgeous as any girl could. His mind swam as he stared at her striking beauty.
“What’s wrong?” asked Kristy.
Stunned, Craig replied, “Nothing. It’s just that you’re so beautiful.”
Susan’s eyes brimmed with tears. “Aw, you’re so sweet, Craig.” She faced Kristy. “He’s just like his father … a swooner.”

I don't think Mr. Rayburn knows what the word 'swoon' means.

Craig's mom sees them off (after telling Craig to use a condom). The two lovebirds go to Craig's pickup truck, which is introduced as a "1997 Ford F-150 pick-up". Craig and Kristy go out to a steakhouse to eat.

As they waited for their food, he asked how her classes were going and if there were any assholes in her class that needed taken care of.

Ah, yes, a very well-adjusted thing to ask.

Kristy notices that something's going on with Craig, so she asks him what's up. He almost tells her about the voices in his walls, but decides against it at the last minute, electing to instead show her the letter he got from his father. Their food comes; they eat in silence. They go back to Craig's house, make out for "nearly" ten minutes, and part ways. Craig goes to bed. He dreams of a grassy hill and a flock of sheep.

Craig then wakes up at 1:20 am to the sound of the whispering in his walls. He tells them to go away. They do not do so.

For the first time in his life, Craig saw the blue light. Behind the closet door was a thin, blue line of light that illuminated brightly through the cracks. Craig’s eyes grew wide as he took in the dire light. The whispers grew louder.

He was mesmerized by the lucid, shining blue light. It was a sign. It meant something. It, too, seemed to be beckoning him. But was it dangerous? It could be. It could have something to do with the thing his father wanted to talk to him about. Was his father seeing this very same thing right this instant? Were they having the same kind of psychedelic connection?

Psychedelic connection? That's pretty groovy, man.

The narrator uses a lot of words to tell us that Craig is terrified by this light. He calls for his mother. She enters the room, but is unable to see the blue light. Craig worries that if he tells her, she'll have him committed. He tells her it's nothing, and she leaves. He then eventually gets out of bed, stands around for a bit while the temperature in the room rises, and finally goes to see what the light is. This all takes place over six pages, most of which is just waffling.

Craig stood in utter disbelief. He couldn’t think straight. The pain in his legs subsided as if by a magical touch.
It’s the blue light, he thought. It wants me to know that it’s powerful enough to heal me and yet frightful enough to scare me.

What? What does that even mean?

Finally, finally, Craig passes through the door of his closet, and so the chapter ends.

See you tomorrow, everybody.

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