Friendship is Card Games: Rainbow Dash Presents: The Star in Yellow · 11:54am Jun 19th, 2022
Happy Father’s Day! Today’s pony media is sadly unrelated. Well, hopefully unrelated. If Lost Carcosa reminds you of your father, that’s a matter for you and your therapist. In any case, let’s close out Rainbow Dash Presents.
The Star in Yellow is a story about stories, about obsession with other places and times, about different levels of fictionality and reality and how dangerous it can be when they interact.
The fact that the crayon on the title card is more of an orange bothers me more than it probably should.
I do appreciate the song reference in a self-help book titled Building a Birdhouse in Your Soul… though given the song, I’m not sure if “self-help” is the right term.
I’m not sure what’s more discomforting, Spike’s “Kiss the Slave” apron or the bacon strips. Yes, Applejack almost definitely raises pigs for more than truffle hunting, but I didn’t think she got many local buyers.
Some fascinating titles in the little red wagon, from The Geometry of Colors and The Six-Sided Circle to The Big Book of Book Puns. Indispensible in Twilight’s line of work, I’m sure.
Google Translate isn’t offering a clear translation of “Apscisus.” It seems it can mean “cut off,” in both the colloquial sense of a sudden end to a path or conversation and in the literal sense of a severed appendage.
Also, I love the juxtaposition of masked guards and ominous archways against the little dragon with a wagon and a laminated security badge.
I have questions about A Guide to Magical Rave Bits. For one, is that the local term for Pacific Glow’s pacifier?
How to Cook for Forty Apes. Ah, classic Treehouse of Horror.
I’d say “don’t free a book that’s been chained to its lectern, especially if ominous whispers are leaking out,” but this probably isn’t the only time Spike’s acquired an unspeakable tome in this trip alone.
Also, while the RDP episode doesn’t predate Spike bringing home an obviously cursed book in “Inspiration Manifestation,” the original story does.
Spike mailing The Star in Yellow to himself is a delightful bit of cleverness. Not sure if he can actually designate himself as the recipient, but it’s certainly a logical extension of his message breath.
You know it’s a bad sign when the Necronomicon ex Mortis isn’t the most dangerous book in the pile.
I do love how Twilight audibly scrambles for any way to excuse feeding Spike cat food. Great performance there.
Heh. I also love how Rainbow Dash points out the pointlessness of Twilight’s ambitions. Ponyville doesn’t need an enlightened philosopher-queen, it’s true. But given Mentally Advanced Celestia, it’s not like Twilight can realistically expect to rule by her side, much less succeed her.
I won’t lie, looking at Dash’s autobiography hurts my soul.
A white-coated redhead for a mother and a sister named Silver Crescent.
Yeah, you can probably see where this is going.
The sudden off-key interruption of the piano is another good touch.
"Y'see? There ya go again; y' combine books on the male anatomy- it's gotta stop, Twilight!"
I’m with Spike on this one. That mare’s making an unfortunate habit of this.
Yellowstar, an utterly perfect little filly who can do no wrong and never lose, unlike her loser sister.
Yeah, you can definitely see where this is going.
Spike still making breakfast for Twilight is somewhere between sweet and Stockholm Syndrome.
“When Silver Crescent broke the rules, Mom did punishments where Yellowstar couldn’t see.”
Yikes.
You know it’s bad when the Crusaders see the writing on the wall first. Though I am glad to hear the Troubleshoes incident turned out well in this timeline.
The crossed-out pages after Yellowstar’s father descends from the sky are very interesting indeed: “Father made fun new games. Yellowstar changed the rules. Father made rules for Yellowstar. Ponies did not become ponies.”
For the first time in her life, somepony told Yellowstar “No.” Somepony actually subjected her to authority. And she was not immediately the best. Ponies did not immediately love her. And when your very definition of “pony” includes obsequious, worshipful adoration, well, the fact that Yellowstar’s mother “went to sleep” on the very next page may be related.
There’s something bizarrely amusing about Twilight being so anal-retentive and emotionally insensitive that she actually manages to annoy the memetic parasite using her to bring itself into reality.
“How did you grow wings? You’d need insane amounts of power to do that. Like, what do you think, you’d just ‘poof, there you go’ wings? Princess? That’s totally implausible, I can’t even—“
“But, we completed an ancient spell and sang a friendship song.”
Hey, if it works, it works. 
I can’t really blame Twilight for not seeing the problem with the hallucination situation while she’s neck-deep in Yellowstar’s thrall. The book wouldn’t be nearly as dangerous if it were as simple as pointing out the logical thread that leads to “This is bad news.”
Ah, Yellowstar’s classic ploy: When in doubt, blame her sister.
Spike promising an absence of horrors, tentacled or otherwise, may be a bit hasty.
And we see the first overt hint of Yellowstar’s true colors as she permanently borrows Twilight’s horn. Yeah, not the nicest pony, this one.
I’m not entirely certain what to make of that green humanoid Yellowstar was summoning from the void, and I’m not sure if I want to know.
“And this is the part where Spike becomes my slave because of the dragon code; it’s like a Wookie life debt, but not nearly as cool.”
Accurate.
“Do any of you feel more and more impotent the more she realizes her potential?”
The commentary’s coming fast and thick in this bit. I’d argue the show did a good job of balancing the Mane Six, though some of that was driving up Twilight’s… well, insanity.
Yeah, the ambiguity as to how Silver Crescent suddenly stopped being mad is more than a little disquieting.
“A child believes a lie because they know no better. A grown adult sees the lie because it fails to line up with experience. In this way, a child's story can be so many different experiences. With enough subtext, a thing made for a child becomes an entirely different world to an adult"
We are reaching dangerous levels of metacommentary, here. As I said earlier, even the source material is a story about stories.
Also, telling that Celestia doesn’t admit she wrote the book in this version. Implies it, especially with that final comment about subtext, but not outright saying so.
Applejack’s reaction is a bit silly. Come on, AJ, how many barns have you lost even this month?
The post-episode commentary is somewhere between fascinating and horrifying: Why put out another Rainbow Dash Presents almost two years after the Equestria Primates Preview, and almost three years after RDP: Bittersweet?
Flurry Heart. Flurry Heart is why. “Princes McFlurry was about to premiere and there was a fic out there about how creepy it is for all-powerful gods to appear out of nothing and take over everyone’s lives, though I guess in this case the god appeared from a pony’s vaginal cavity.” Never say the Princess of Explosions didn’t do anything for the fandom, I guess.
And that, sadly, is the lot. Still some of the most enjoyable animation the fandom’s produced in my opinion, though I admit I haven’t gone too deep down that rabbit hole. Let’s see what I can do with the final installment:
Six-Sided Circle 1W
Enchantment
As Six-Sided Circle enters the battlefield, choose a color or colorless.
1W: The next time source of your choice of the chosen quality would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage.
1W: Exile Six-Sided Circle, then return it to the battlefield under its owner’s control.
None Greater 2W
Enchantment
Activated abilities of noncommander sources cost 2 more to activate unless they’re mana abilities.
Each triggered ability of each noncommander source triggers only once each turn.
“Love. Despair. Why care which is which?”
—Princess Celestia
Archive Guard 3W
Creature — Unicorn Soldier
Vigilance
Whenever an opponent draws a card except the first one they draw in each of their draw steps, put a +1/+1 counter on Archive Guard.
The dangerous potential of the Canterlot Archives is protected by the least imaginative members of the Royal Guard.
2/4
Abandon the Ritual U
Instant
Counter target spell if an additional or alternate cost was spent to cast it.
Cycling 2 (2, Discard this card: Draw a card.)
Suppose they gave a horrific blood sacrifice and nobody came?
Coded Communiqué 1U
Sorcery
Target creature you control connives. (Draw a card, then discard a card. If you discarded a nonland card, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.)
Cipher (Then you may exile this spell card encoded on a creature you control. Whenever that creature deals combat damage to a player, its controller may cast a copy of the encoded card without paying its mana cost.)
Prismatic Gaze 1UU
Sorcery
Choose a color. Target opponent reveals their hand. You draw a card for each card of the chosen color and each land card that could produce mana of that color revealed this way.
Pegasus color vision edges into realms other ponies can’t imagine.
Ingenious Sphinx 3UU
Creature — Sphinx
Flying
If you would draw a card, instead draw two cards, then put a card from your hand on top of your library.
1U: Each player mills a card.
“A cluttered mind is the enemy of wisdom.”
3/3
Breathtaking Siren 4UU
Creature — Siren
Flash
When Breathtaking Siren enters the battlefield, return all tapped creatures to their owners’ hands.
She is compassionate for her kind, making sure her victims see beauty as they drown.
3/4
Wicked Discipline 1BB
Enchantment
At the beginning of your draw step, you may have Wicked Discipline deal 2 damage to target creature you control. If you do, draw a card.
“Mother says it builds character. Silver Crescent must have a lot of character.”
—The Star in Yellow
Arcane Theft 3B
Sorcery
Target opponent reveals their hand. You choose a nonland card from it. Exile that card. You may cast it for as long as it remains exiled, and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any type to cast that spell.
“Don’t worry, I’m just borrowing it.”
Ominous Shipment 3B
Sorcery
Target player draws X cards and loses X life, where X is the number of artifacts that player controls.
Conductors on the Ponyville route started calling the heavily warded car the Sparkle Express.
Disoriented Stuntmare 2R
Creature — Pegasus Warrior
Reach
Whenever you draw your second card each turn, you may switch Disoriented Stuntmare’s power and toughness until end of turn.
“Just give me a second to find up.”
1/4
Barn Blaze 2RR
Sorcery
Destroy target artifact or land. That permanent’s controller sacrifices a permanent of the other type.
“Just because it keeps happening don’t mean I like it.”
—Applejack, Bearer of Honesty
Shelfblaze Dragon 3RR
Creature — Dragon
Flying
When Shelfblaze Dragon enters the battlefield, if it was cast, each player discards their hand, then draws cards equal to the greatest mana value among permanents they control.
3/3
Whiplash Bruin 4G
Creature — Bear Warrior
Provoke (Whenever this attacks, you may have target creature defending player controls untap and block it if able.)
Whiplash Bruin can’t be blocked by creatures with power 2 or less unless it provoked them this turn.
4/5
Rigged Competition XXG
Sorcery
Put X +1/+1 counters on target creature you control. Then that creature fights target creature you don’t control.
“Yellowstar made games for everypony. Everypony loved her rules. She always won.”
—The Star in Yellow
Page Turner WU
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature you don’t control
When Page Turner enters the battlefield, you and enchanted creature’s controller each draw a card.
Whenever enchanted creature’s controller draws a card, tap that creature.
Trap the mind and the body must follow.
Yellowstar, Perfect Dream WUB
Legendary Creature — Illusion
Alicorn (This is also a Pony Pegasus Unicorn.)
Flying
Whenever you draw a card, put a +1/+1 counter on Yellowstar.
Whenever an opponent draws a card, that player loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.
1/2
Alluring Stacks 1WU
World Enchantment
At the beginning of each player’s draw step, that player may draw an additional card. If they do, they skip their next combat phase.
The Canterlot Archive’s final line of defense is the invader’s own curiosity.
Chromogeometer 1GU
Creature — Unicorn Wizard
Converge — Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, create a 0/0 green and blue Fractal creature token, then put X +1/+1 counters on it, where X is the number of colors of mana spent to cast that spell.
The distinction between magic and life is purely academic.
2/2
The Star in Yellow 1W(wb)B
Enchantment — Saga
(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after III.)
I — Create two 2/2 green Pony creature tokens.
II — You may sacrifice a creature. When you do, put a shield counter on a creature you control.
III — Destroy all creatures.
Cruciferous Fiend 2RG
Creature — Plant Devil
When Cruciferous Fiend dies, it deals damage equal to the number of lands you control to target creature or planeswalker.
Blitz 3RG (If you cast this spell for its blitz cost, it gains haste and “When this creature dies, draw a card.” Sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step.)
3/3
Battle-Dance Sidewinder 2RGW
Creature — Snake
Vigilance
At the beginning of each combat, up to one target creature attacks or blocks this combat if able.
At the beginning of each combat, up to one target creature can’t attack or block this combat.
4/4
Void Behemoth 4RG
Creature — Horror Giant
Trample, reach
Spells you cast from exile cost 2 less to cast.
5/6
The Gate Opens RG
Sorcery — Adventure
Exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn. (Then exile this card. You may cast the creature later from exile.)
In a series that somehow made "My Little Dashie" contain a monkey Voldemort dressed as a jester, this entry was comparatively surprisingly true to the source material.
I know I shouldn't mind, I know it's a weakness on my part, but it's hard for me to cope with the vocal performances in fanworks that are radically different from the show. Especially deep dude voices coming out of girl characters. So there's a ton of popular fan animation stuff I never watched for that reason, including MAS and RDP. So this may be the first time I actually watched through a whole one of the videos. And it was good. And now I've added the original story, which I don't recall ever hearing about before, to my reading list. So thanks for that.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: As far as the rules are concerned, "without paying its mana cost" is an alternate cost of 0. Usually this matters because of things making it cost more to cast spells, but Abandon the Ritual cares too.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: You draw for your turn after you untap but before you get a chance to do much else; Page Turner will almost always prevent that creature from attack or blocking. More hilariously, Aura conditions are checked as a state-based action; ways to get rid of the card involve stealing the book so that it's no longer enchanting a "creature you (they) don't control" and turning the creature into a tree.
5665961
The creator of Ultra Fast Pony takes this and runs with it, giving Sweetie Belle the super-deep husky voice of a death metal singer and turning Applejack into an Irish mobster.
It's weird how closely it sticks to the source material, particularly given the twisted nature of the RDP universe. Most Hollywood types do a far worse job of adapting written material to the screen.
That one had her stash of apple moonshine in it!