• Member Since 28th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen 6 minutes ago

Firesight


I'm an IT Brony who writes stories based on a show for 8-year old girls whose content is meant for anything but 8-year old girls.

More Blog Posts503

  • Tuesday
    So I finally watched Starship Troopers...

    And now I see a lot better some of what DEL was getting at with certain references and even parts of the storyline.

    Read More

    23 comments · 218 views
  • Sunday
    Next Feathered Hearts chapter will drop on Wednesday + Teaser

    I have to say, folks... I’ve been very happy with how the last two chapters have been received. There’s been tons of positive feedback, and I’ve picked up a slew of new likes and watches. So why not keep working on it? The next chapter will be draft complete and off to prereaders today. After that, it’s a new chapter of Eros I’ll aim for next weekend, and then I’m back to working on the

    Read More

    6 comments · 66 views
  • 6 days
    Slight change of plans...

    I said before that the next Feathered Hearts main story chapter would cover the events of chapter 7 of the original story in its entirety. Unfortunately, the chapter got too big, and I’m not going to give readers a 17,000 word entry that’s basically an info dump instead of action. So I’m splitting it up. On the bright side, this means you’ll get two ~8500 word releases in a matter of

    Read More

    5 comments · 133 views
  • 1 week
    By popular request, the next Feathered Hearts C&C and Eros chapters are underway...

    Welcome to milestone blog #500! I’ve now been on Fimfiction for nine years... :pinkiegasp:

    Read More

    3 comments · 117 views
  • 1 week
    What a month... now what to do?

    Well, folks... the past 30 days have been one of my post prolific periods of writing on a single story ever, excepting perhaps that massive push I had last Spring on writing Feathered Hearts - Eros. I did indeed release one Eros chapter for Christmas, but also, count ‘em, six Feathered Hearts - Continuation and Chronicles chapters, and the cherry on top of all of it was a new

    Read More

    7 comments · 112 views
Nov
10th
2021

A Warm Welcome... · 4:02pm Nov 10th, 2021

To all new readers of Feathered Hearts - Continuation and Chronicles! The latest chapter featured, netting the story a slew of additional upvotes and tracks. And a downvote, but that's the curse of featuring—greater story visibility means greater opportunity for disapproval. They may sting a bit, but I care more about getting new readership than an occasional thumbs-down.

There are, however, a couple things bugging me that I'd like to address regarding to the story. The latest chapter was received generally quite well by both my prereaders and the main story audience, for which I am grateful. But that was not universal; there were a couple major complaints in the comments that I'd like to talk about here. Before I begin, I will advise new readers that what's ahead contains spoilers for later on in the story. So if you don't want to read about them, don't read on. :twilightsmile:


The first complaint was that the latest chapter was overly-suggestive and off-putting because of it. The other was that I've gone off the rails entirely from what the original Feathered Heart was and destroyed its romance plotline in the process. Needless to say, I disagree with both statements, so I'll address each in turn.

With regards to the former...

I did make a bad mistake when I released the chapter. I had promised a Sunday night release, but in my haste to get it published, I neglected to put the Author's Notes up front like I normally do. It always gives any content advisories and the standard boilerplate about what part of the original story this corresponds to. In this case, it should have included a warning of some mildly suggestive content up front, given the chapter takes place in the aftermath of sex.

Worse, I was also just informed that I never put a sex tag on the story. That's an embarrassing oversight, though I think any readers of the original would have assumed it given the original had that tag. This story should likewise have had it from the start.

Needless to say, I've taken care of both issues now and offer my sincere apologies for them. But as to the idea that including any adult-ish content is wrong in the main story, I disagree. I personally don't have a problem with adding an occasional PG-13 or even R-rated moment if I think it serves the story. Nor do I think that doing so automatically means the main story should be rated mature. You can flash a boob or a butt in a movie, or otherwise have suggestive content like two characters in bed without it earning an R-rating, and in writing, I've read plenty of adventure, drama and fantasy novels that had far more lurid sex scenes than this without them being considered adult.

Seriously, this was incredibly mild, folks, especially compared to my clopfics. In my view, what I have there only earns a PG-13 rating at worst. So complaining about it here in the main story strikes me as a little disingenuous, doubly so given the original story was certainly heading there eventually. Triply so given Demon Eyes Laharl himself made his own M-rated side story involving Gilda and Marco called Feathered Heart: Preening.

Yes, I made the side story to hold the clop content I couldn't put in the main story, and I'm not exaggerating when I say 99.5% of it is there. I really don't see that it needs to be 100%, especially when mildly adult moments like in this last chapter are interwoven with a post-sex discussion between Marco and Gilda that is certainly pertinent to the main story and needs to be seen by readers.

But, for the sake of reader sensibilities, I will make one concession: I will go through the main story and see if any of the suggestive content can and should be removed or at least toned down for being too jarring or out of place. I like to listen to the story recited via the fimfiction's voice narration feature (which I can heartily recommend over mobile) as I'm jogging to try and pick out any issues, and I've grimaced a couple times at what I've heard. So I'll give the story an editing pass with an emphasis on that before too long.

And that brings me to the latter complaint...

Namely, that gone off the rails of the original story, and worse, I've 'torpedoed' the romance storyline it had by getting Marco and Gilda together too soon. Let me address the second part of that first by noting the original story was launched way back in 2012, last updated in 2016.

It was too soon? Folks, we have waited nine freaking years to see that happen!

Even in terms of the story timeline, I don't think it was too soon, given they've been in the Kingdom for nearly a month by now—plenty of time for bonds to form and stuff to occur, especially given all they've already been through—and my main story alone is now just as long as as the original. I really don't think it's rushed when I took 13 chapters and 130,000 words to get there, meaning I've already written a full novel. It's become the climax—no pun intended (no, really)—of the first story arc. And in my opinion, I think it fits quite neatly there.

The second part of that complaint is that I'm off the rails of the original story and people want to get to combat. That's fine; I want to as well! You don't think I'm eager to give this whole thing the Firefly treatment? If I get particularly frisky, I may even start coming up with battle maps like I did for Firefly.

But before I get there, I want the story, world and characters fully fleshed out—something that the original, with all due respect and apologies to DEL, did not take the time to do properly. And I'd also note that even while waiting for war, I've given the story plenty of action and intrigue, including new characters, races and lore while also delving more deeply into the existing characters and general history/situation of the Griffon Kingdom.

You've gotten the Hall of Heroes, the confrontation with Dana, the characters of Captain Moran and Talia Tarseus, new groups like the Council of Crows, Ravens, and Capricorn Conclave, and of course, the new race of the Ibex—all of whom are going to play major roles in the war to come. That's always been the hallmark of my writing; the worldbuilding and character development. Doing so makes the stuff that comes later much more enjoyable and relatable. So I'm sorry to make you wait a bit, but I can’t apologize for that either.

And then there’s the elephant in the room...

Which would be the cider storyline and all it led to. I can't say I was planning to do that originally, but as is so often the case, it came out in the course of my writing, and I just went with it. I can't apologize for that either because I've immensely enjoyed working on the side story, and look forward to getting back to it eventually. I also think I wove it into the main story quite deftly, using it as a tool to introduce the Ibex and a strong measure of intrigue.

I also get people asking me when I'll get back to the side story, which is certainly flattering but also occasionally annoying when I've just posted a new main story chapter or even stuff from my other works. I hate having to tell them to wait, but needless to say, this isn't my only project. Short of cloning myself or maybe using the mirror pool to create an army of Firesights (there's a frightening thought! :unsuresweetie:), I can only work on one thing at a time. :ajsleepy:

Which brings me to my final point...

Something I ask everyone to think about and hopefully take to heart.

Namely, that I don't have to be doing this. Either writing this story or writing on fimfiction. I write because I'm good at it and (usually) enjoy it; I write in this franchise and verse because I love both. I picked up Feathered Heart out of a desire to see it finished even as I knew what an enormous undertaking it would be. I did so because I knew I could do it justice, and I truly believe that thus far, I have.

My efforts have certainly not been without obstacles and naysaying; I've had to go hat-in-hand to the mods on multiple occasions to get permission to post the entire updated story—took four tries over nine months to finally get it. This project has also driven home the fact that it's impossible for me to satisfy everyone. Some want more adult content; some want less. Some complain that I shouldn't have updated the original at all; only continued it, while others clamor for more. Still others grouse that I'm taking too long to get to the main wartime action we so loved about the original.

I'm not going to lie—It's been emotionally draining at times, answering these complaints in the comments while trying to keep the bulk of my readers happy. It's a balancing act I admit I have not always pulled off successfully. But if nothing else, I hope everyone recognizes that I have tried hard to be very open and up front about what I'm doing with this story, posting blog after blog to keep readers abreast of my progress and what's coming. I have also tried to follow the site rules to the letter, even when it required me to split the story between two different websites.

I have put probably well over a thousand hours into this work by now, churning out 139k words on the main story in the space of eight months (never mind the side story), meaning it is now equal in length to the original. And for all this, I've asked for very little in return except maybe an occasional attaboy. I've certainly gotten it, but it's a fact of writing life that the criticisms and downvotes tend to sting far worse than the upvotes and positive comments soothe.

It's not that I can't take it. I wouldn't be writing if I couldn't; you should see some of the hate I got over The Lawyer and The Unicorn. But that doesn't mean I don't push back, either.

Folks, please understand that this story has all but consumed me for a good portion of this year. I could have finished two of my other stories instead of working on this, but I instead chose to take up the mantle of Feathered Heart. I did so even with all my other writing projects because we'd waited long enough for DEL to return, but after repeated attempts to reach him, it was clear he was never coming back. I mourn his departure as much as everyone, but I would like to think I'm doing the story justice, bringing to bear all my acquired skill and lore that neither of us had back in 2012. I'm sorry if that's not to everyone's taste or satisfaction. But it's just not possible on a story like this (or any story, really) for me to satisfy everyone, and if try too hard to do so, then I end up satisfying no one. Least of all me.

So my bottom line is this: I will continue to write this story as I see fit, completing the prelude to war and even sprinkling at least an occasional adult-ish moment into the main story if I think it serves it. I will take criticisms under advisement, and make adjustments when I think they have merit. But I also will not hesitate to push back against them if I think they're unfair.

Sorry to be so long-winded...

But I did have a lot to get off my chest here. And since I didn't say so earlier, thanks again to all readers for following the story. I really do appreciate the interest and positive feedback I get; that, more than anything else, keeps me going.

Nothing else to say at this point except get ready to strap in and hold on tight, folks. The plunge into the Cloven War is coming at the end of chapter 16, and my current plan is to not release additional chapters until I've written the story to that point. When I have, you'll get the chapters released in rapid succession, and the Cloven War officially begins. :rainbowdetermined2:

Comments ( 15 )

destroyed its romance plotline

Yes and no on that complaint from me.
There was a fair amount of storyline later in the fic that only worked because of how the romance storyline played out, you're going to either need restructuring or to abandon some of those points entirely... which makes me a bit sad because they were some of my favorite parts in the original.

But like every remake you'll always have complaints like that and people like me being sad that their favorite parts aren't going to make a comeback. Don't take it so hard, especially from me as while a bit sad about it I am still interested seeing how things change in response.

After my own comment, I have begun rereading the story from the beginning again, just as I had when you were allowed to post the edited chapters of the original work to your continuation. It still is entertaining and engaging, but I noticed a few things in the first chapter, and was wondering what your preference was for bringing things of that nature to your attention. Would you rather I PM you; with story, chapter, and sentence, with suggested fixes; or is it better to put a quoted section in the comments of said chapter, for all to see?

I humbly await your response.

5605511

Yes and no on that complaint from me.
There was a fair amount of storyline later in the fic that only worked because of how the romance storyline played out, you're going to either need restructuring or to abandon some of those points entirely... which makes me a bit sad because they were some of my favorite parts in the original.

Hmmm.... I can think of at least a couple points you speak of off the top of my head, and I’m pretty sure I can and will still use them. For example, Marco’s duel with that other eagless will still take place but perhaps have a slightly different motivation behind it.

But like every remake you'll always have complaints like that and people like me being sad that their favorite parts aren't going to make a comeback. Don't take it so hard, especially from me as while a bit sad about it I am still interested seeing how things change in response.

I know. Complaints and gripes are part of the game, and something you accept when you become a writer. I usually just let them go, but in this instance, I guess they reached critical mass with me. :ajsleepy: Still, I tell you what: Tell me of what future parts of the original story you’re worried about losing privately in a PM, and I’ll make damn sure they’re given proper treatment. When I write them, I’ll even run them past you if you like.

5605513

After my own comment, I have begun rereading the story from the beginning again, just as I had when you were allowed to post the edited chapters of the original work to your continuation. It still is entertaining and engaging, but I noticed a few things in the first chapter, and was wondering what your preference was for bringing things of that nature to your attention. Would you rather I PM you; with story, chapter, and sentence, with suggested fixes; or is it better to put a quoted section in the comments of said chapter, for all to see?

I humbly await your response.

You found issues with the first chapter? By all means, tell me about them so I can fix them. A PM is fine, thanks.

PS: Since I haven’t said so earlier, thanks for your comment on the last chapter. It needed to be said, and it was a shot in the arm for me after all the rather draining back-and-forth before that. :heart:

I think people expecting this to be a 1:1 recreation of the original are going to be disappointed no matter what you do. A lot has changed since 2016, and more importantly you aren't DEL. It's not surprising in the least some things would end up different.

I can only say that I don't think you should take their comments too harshly, you're going to upset some no matter what choices you make. It's going to be different in some capacity just because you're a different person than DEL.

5605516
Posted, and thanks for the consideration.

As for the outburst, I hate when folks turn critique into berating, and after their first post, they were definitely beating a dead horse, which should be doubly shameful, considering the subject of the fandom.

You keep holding your head high, Firesight!

tbqh i'm going to get the chapters from the regular story and the nsfw parts and put it together to read it again in one go without having to switch around.
also thanks for putting in the efford to keep this story going, it's what got me in the whole g4m and rgre stuff ^.^'

I'll just post two things here for you.

1. If you're feeling beat down for not enough positive support, Sorry for not really talking much in the story itself. I generally don't say anything unless I have something specific to say, or have a quip that I haven't seen in the comments yet.

Can't really say that this'll change, but know that I am reading all of these chapters, plus Eros. And I have also read all of the G4M, TLatU, & Firefly stories plus all of their offshoots as well. Pretty sure I gave them all favorites and thumbs up too. So trust that I'll be lurking around, with the occasional pop up on occasion.

Which brings me to me second point.

2.

And for all this, I've asked for very little in return except maybe an occasional attaboy.

Attaboy!

I'm not exactly familiar with the source material. So for the older readers and their complaints on what has been changed I can't really give an opinion on that.

However I will say this story is very interesting and engaging.
In terms on the more lemon side of things. I personally, am not that big of a fan of the sex heavy side in stories like this. Mostly due to me being very interested in the fantastic world building and character interactions in it.
Which is why I enjoy this story, with it splitting the two. I can't stress how much more I've enjoyed it like this. (It's one of the reasons I had a hard time with some other fics like Xenophilia. Sex is fine and all. But I don't like reading through sex scenes for world building.)

With all of that being said, I think you balanced it out just fine. So good job in that regard!

As another commenter said, I also don't comment that often. I normally don't have anything new to add on, so I just kinda lurk.
However this reminded me, I am very interested to see how the Griffons react to more of the movies and other media. If that pops up again the future. I'd love it if they could see something like 'The Pacific', would be fitting since they are rolling with the Marines. Assuming of course, that the restrictions on knowledge of firearms as been lifted. Which I'm guessing might be a thing in the future, when I'm seeing talk of combat happening. So there's my two cents.

All in all, it's commendable that's you've stuck with it this long.
I hope this was somewhat helpful and I look forward to see how it goes!

Seriously, this was incredibly mild, folks, especially compared to my clopfics. In my view, what I have there only earns a PG-13 rating at worst.

For some reason, this story came to mind when I got to this part. Probably because it's about as sexually explicit as your last chapter. Yes, that story is comedy -- and quite funny. Seriously, whoever reads my comment, read that story. It also refers to the male genitalia in euphemistic terms.

To you critics out there: I'm ready to get to the war stuff too but let's not lose our heads. The war story is coming and Firesight is writing it. Has Firesight ever let you all down before? You need to show this man who's been entertaining you for almost ten years a bit more respect and a lot more faith.

Now let's kick some Cloven ass!

(It's one of the reasons I had a hard time with some other fics like Xenophilia. Sex is fine and all. But I don't like reading through sex scenes for world building.)

Ask Firesight how well I did trying to sit through Xenophilia. :rainbowlaugh:

I respect the story for kickstarting a more thoughtful subgenre of Human-In-Equestria isekai but that story is straight-up terrible. I've been saying it since 2014. Yes, it has a lot of upvotes. Yes, it has a lot of supporters but it's badly written.

Comment posted by Firesight deleted Nov 11th, 2021

5605713 5605723

Ask Firesight how well I did trying to sit through Xenophilia.

He’s not lying. I enjoy occasionally tweaking him over it using his all-time favorite character of any fimfiction story: Zen Lyra. Just mention her to him if you ever want to set him off. :ajsmug:

I even introduced the father of the Still Way technique as a recurring character in Firefly, if you can believe that. I made him a righteous griffon-fighting Guardspony who’s arguably the most powerful magic wielder in the story this side of Celestia and has a major role at the start of the war.

5605727

Zen Lyra.

Zen Lyra is my Bat Credit Card. It's not just that I didn't like it, I had a visceral reaction of confusion and hatred for this inexplicable use of a well-known background character for what I can only guess was a severely misguided application of The Rule of Cool. This character was not only baffling and completely overpowered within the established universe, she put a massive brick wall on the flow and pace of the story.

The trauma was seven years ago and I still feel it afresh whenever it's brought up. Zen Lyra is one of the worst characters in the history of fanfiction (yes, I will compare it to Sonichu!) and she completely derailed the focus on developing Lero and Rainbow Dash's relationship. The story never recovered. Full disclosure: My story A Gentleman's Price — Still my longest completed work to date — was largely conceived as an antidote to the gross errors committed in that story. Yes, I wrote just short of 50k words as a diss track to that story and I don't regret it. Though that story has its own fair share of writing sins, I still feel like I succeeded.

But before I get there, I want the story, world and characters fully fleshed out—something that the original, with all due respect and apologies to DEL, did not take the time to do properly.

This is a tricky thing that I would really and truly need to carefully re-read the original to try and even attempt to objectively figure out. As we are clearly familiar with MLP, how well that is actually fleshed out compared to the amount of assumed knowledge both canon and general fanon is always an interesting thing to tally up. On top of that, myself, and likely a number of other readers were already very well acquainted with the Vord from Codex Alera which Del was heavily influenced by to create the Cloven as they are clearly what the Vord might have been in an MLP setting.

Login or register to comment