Slight Edits to Chapter 8 of Who is Pinkie · 4:41pm Aug 16th, 2021
From FanofMostEverything:
Because really, who talks about their problems or concerns? Everyone knows the reasonable, logical thing to do is make assumptions and/or scheme revenge.
Don’t get me wrong, I do look forward to seeing where you go with this, but I’ve never liked plot complications that could be resolved with a sentence or two.
Well, that is a very excellent point, and it also goes to show that I should really let the editors do their thing before I release chapters.⁽*⁾
So! It behooves me to listen to good advice, and to make a small adjustment to the story. I have taken out the plot complication (namely, that Long blames Rainbow for what's going on and is going to get back at her by doing nothing), and instead, I have what follows below, so you don't have to reread the whole chapter just for one little change.
And now, back to typing!
⁽*⁾Irr's Brain, in a whiny tone: "But you have a full chapter done! You should release it for all the world to enjoy!"
Irr, with no willpower: "Okay, okay. It should be fine, even though Georg is at EFNW and can't look things over. How badly could you mess things up?"
But as he thought back, he realized that Fluttershy had not flown at all yesterday, so that meant the field of potential candidates could be greatly expanded. The wings on this impostor could be fake, and thus, the mare within could easily be an earth pony. Applejack was the first pony to come to mind, given that ‘Fluttershy’ had seemed to be suspiciously familiar with piping and valves, but if that was true, then Applejack was an amazing vocalist. There hadn’t been even a hint of a country drawl in her words during the whole day.
Perhaps Bon Bon was the one now resting on his shoulder. She was a master of disguises and aliases, so impersonating Fluttershy would be nothing for somepony of her talents.
Long shook his head and let out a small snort. He wanted to blame Rainbow Dash for the musical pony parade that was going on around him, but try as he might, he just couldn’t make the accusations stick. Rainbow loved a good prank, but they were usually simple tricks, like putting food dye in cookies and moving beds into pig styes, with the occupant still under the blankets.
And, more importantly, Rainbow Dash operated on her own. Involving others added a degree of complexity that Rainbow didn’t have the patience for, and after the zombie cookie incident, it would be impossible—or, at the least, extremely improbable—that she’d be able to convince two other ponies to aid her.
No, whatever was going on didn’t involve Rainbow, of that he was reasonably sure. But with the elimination of his friend as a culprit, he was, once again, back to having absolutely no ideas on what was going on.
But as ‘Fluttershy’ began to stir, he decided to put the matter on the back burners for now. Getting the water line fixed was a higher priority at the moment, followed closely by dealing with the massive amounts of mud that was both inside and outside his house. The mixed-up pony mystery would just have to wait.
Still, he had to admit that he enjoyed his present company, and hopefully, he’d be able to figure out who this charming young mare was once everything else was taken care of.
* * Ω * *
This certainly works. Also, I love the idea that transporting Applejack’s bed, pony included, into the pig sty without waking her up qualifies as “simple.”
I mean this could be called a "marked improvement" because it adds a degree of complexity to the mix, but let's get real; most of the show's plot's involved people not trusting each other, and Fan of Most Everything should know that.
Plus there are plenty of reasons why Long Run wouldn't ask Dash; he assumes this is all a joke to Rainbow. He doesn't know she's into him, so there's no reason to assume any urgency involved, and their "bro dynamic" demands for the sake of his pride, that he beat her at her own game.
Plus he has no reason to assume Rainbow will give him a straight answer if she's behind all this malarkey. For that matter if Rainbow's friends are in on it, he has no reason to believe any of them will give him a straight answer either, meaning the only people who might have insight into the issue will proberbly stonewall and outright mislead him (and if one of them is Fluttershy, she'd never blurt it out, from fear of dying from embarrassment).
On the other hand, if weird mares who are proberbly Rainbow's Friends are dating him covertly, independent of her insight or knowledge, then he has no reason not to go to her for advice, given that she is the one person (that he is already on good terms with) who could give him insight into the situation, and straighten them out. In short this change actually makes it more probable that Rainbow Dash and Long Run should hash things out sooner, not latter.