fJd Review: A Game of Moons and Suns by Snow Quill · 4:35pm Nov 1st, 2020
Overview:
This is a story about desperation, finding options you would never have sought out otherwise, and doing whatever is needed to reach your goals. Tempest Shadow is the epitome of these characteristics on her own, but here we have her before that really shown in the Movie. Instead, she’s young and still searching. So she’s timid, mostly mute, and desperately determined to do whatever needs to be done be whole again.
My Thoughts:
A good execution, a respectable headcanon. I do love it when headcanon actually builds on the original content. So when a story’s headcanon actually serves to enhance a character’s backdrop? A+ in my book. And that is what this story does. It’s a nice shortfic, a good read, and really a jumping off point for any author willing to take a stab at filling in the gap between this and where we meet her in the Movie. I also liked the portrayal of the shopkeeper. I’m always gratified by a distinct lack of pointless evil laughter. Seriously, that doesn’t usually serve to enhance the villain. I felt it took so much away from Cozy Glow, that she’d have been a million times more interesting if she never laughed, if her whole gimmick weren’t “Try to take over the world!” but, I digress. The Shopkeeper isn’t a villain. If anything, he’d fall under the alignment of Lawful Neutral or Lawful Evil. He does present an interesting offer, and he creates quite a dark atmosphere overall for the story. Original Characters that actually function are wonderful.
Characterization:
Tempest Shadow
Everyone’s favorite militaristic mare who just wants to be whole again. But screw friendship, it just hurts. Oh, wait. No. She’s a filly here, hasn’t quite gotten to the militaristic part of her life yet. Hasn’t even met the Storm King. Instead, she’s bargaining with a shopkeeper over her soul, so to speak. I think she was handled well. Just the right amount of trepidation and frustration, intimidation and determination. I find her very believable as portrayed, even going so far as to accept her as headcanon that should be adopted.
Original Character (The Shopkeeper)
You know, for the first half of the story I was thinking “He doesn’t quite fit the creepy shopkeeper trope” and then he did. Still, in a way that made sense. He was honest, though, making no lies or false promises. I like how he played out. He became something deeper, more meaningful than some means to an end. Ultimately, he might have become paternal, though based on how she turned out, perhaps not? Then again, we don’t know at what age the Storm King got her.
Character Development:
So development isn’t much of an issue in what is essentially a single-scene fic. But for what’s it worth, there was. Tempest started out mute, entirely quiet and keeping her face and identity hidden from the Shopkeeper. He worked with that, didn’t push her to identify until it was absolutely necessary. At the same time, we have the Shopkeeper’s evolution from simple shopkeeper to his more sinister nature in collecting servitude. Tempest grows to speak a little, show more determination, shed some tears, and ultimately decide that this was worth the risk. So the evolution of characters, the two in this fic, is fairly complex and fulfilling. The final moments show us that magic is engaged to enforce the rules.
Theme:
I would identify the theme as desperation, determination, and courage. Tempest shows all of these in various measures, desperation chief among them. Carrying that theme through to the end, while pacing the story so well, is a mean feat as far as I’m concerned. So this turned out well, held true to its intent, and gave me a good story to read.
Logic:
Magic kind of fuzzies logic a lot of the time, but here it was well adhered to. In this, the magic is about the rules, the rules are about making a firm choice and having to live with the outcome. So the logic is solid here. The Shopkeeper is entirely honest about his practices before Tempest fully commits to the game, and the whole set up is believable for a character in Tempest’s position to boot.
Rating:
Story Idea: 7.0
(I quite enjoyed the concept, the use of magic, the overall atmosphere provide by the writing.)
Writing Style: 9.0
(The prose is good quality. The descriptions provide ample content for the imagination to develop the scene.)
Entertainment Factor: 7.0
(It’s short, which is about the only thing going against it. As for entertainment, it ends a bit too abruptly for my tastes. Still, it didn’t have much more direction to go in beyond a summary of the game, and the outcome. It seems like the remaining story would be a sequel unto this.)
Inner Logic: 9.0
(All good. Feels like a fluffy D&D fic at some points, and a Dark MLP fic otherwise.)
Final: 8.00
Feedback/Final Thoughts:
Hey, I can’t complain too much. Though I don’t think that I really did. I’m just saying, as nice as it is to have an easy to digest shortfic, a concept like this is like an open invitation to expand. It feels like a prologue more than a shortfic. I’d guess at that being the author’s intent, and if so, well executed! I love stories like this, they leave so much to the imagination, they’re like a fresh invitation to other writers. It’s like the story just screams “Expand! Write more! Create!” to everyone!
Right, so will all that being said, I also have to say that this particular headcanon does feel like it shapes Tempest more into what she becomes. I realize that we have another villainous mare whose entire life was shaped by a foalhood incident, but her outcome is actually the result of Twilight’s interference. Other than the comic “Prequel” to the Movie, we had little more than a cutesy vignette in the Movie to explain Tempest’s anger and disdain for her own kind. That did seem to need more filling out, and this author definitely went a long way towards that.
