The Best Child of the Night · 2:06am Jul 11th, 2020
Unfortunately, the story version was taken down because of regulation, so instead, I will do this in a blog post.
The Best Child of the Night
A collaborative effort by friends and fans of Nocturnalis Storyhart:
The_Darker_Fonts
Devonus
WurkyWilk358 0W0
The Sound of Loneliness
Applefai
SunlightRays
Sunny_and_Auri_23
Final fantasy forever
Coco Candy
My Little Epona
Midnight Blitzer
Nocturnalis Storyhart.
The author everypony needed and the friend nopony deserved.
Ever since the first day I started out in the forum, she was there, giving me advice on how to write my stories better and make friends. She was my first friend on the forum, and thanks to her advice, wouldn’t be my only one. She appreciated my work and gave me tips here and there about how to better communicate to my audience. I found solace in her and she and I were able to begin to understand each other better. I didn’t know her as well as I would have liked, but then again, I’ve never really been known for listening as well as I should.
When she released her blog post stating that she would be leaving the forum, I felt the mic drop. Nocturnalis Storyhart, my friend and compatriot, was leaving the forum indefinitely. I felt many things in that moment, the most painful being that I was losing a dear friend and mentor. I had worked on her stories with her and had helped edit one, but it didn’t feel like enough in that moment of despair. I didn’t want her to go, yet at the same time, knew I needed to let go. She had her own life to live, her own story to write, and I had mine.
It seemed that the moon was setting for me. It had been shining there for me throughout my entire time here, inspiring me even when it wasn’t seen, and giving me light when it was darkest. I couldn’t think of Luna or look at the moon without thinking of her, and for some reason, that makes me smile. A person I had never met, who I barely even knew, was the one I looked most to for inspiration on the forum. Yet, at the same time, it made sense.
I knew that I wanted something to help her fans remember her by, and something dedicated to her moon blessed name. I decided to team up with fellow fan and friend of her’s, Devonus, and together we devised a plan to honor our friend. Now, with a number of others, we have combined to make a large collaborative thank you to our beloved Sister of the Night, Nocturnalis Storyhart.
- The_Darker_Fonts
The experience is a matter of perception, while perception is always shaped by experience. A quaint little whirlpool is this. My first experience of Nocturnalis was not solace, or stars forbid, friendship, yet. It was confusing.
I am a methodical person, I always know what I shall do in what kind of situation and I always anticipate the results. With years, I got accurate in my anticipations; this is why Nocturalis was surprising, she did not do what I expected her to. Indeed, how could I anticipate someone being magnanimous enough to personally see to it that every newcomer knows that they are welcome here? Our world does not work like this, does it? I am a loner, I am not used to people coming to see how I am doing, all more magical when it does happen!
There was the second experience too. I, unexpectedly, discovered a kin spirit, of sorts. There is… a very special… ability humans have developed through the course of thousands years, it is called: pattern recognition. Humans are exceptionally good at recognizing the patterns they already saw in the past, which is why we see faces in clouds and how we can recognize a person sharing the same kind of life experience. How do they say it? “Birds of a feather flock together.” It is an impossible thing to describe, it can be only felt. You don’t even need to see a person, even the written speech is enough to see familiarities. After researching her blog for a short while, I found out that Nocturnalis indeed has a very unfortunate past. Perhaps this is why we formed an understanding so quickly, we already knew exactly how both of us operate. What a wonderful thing the human brain is!
Nocturnalis is an example and an inspiration. She worked tirelessly not merely for her own benefit, Nocturnalis did service to our whole community.
Sing praises to her, all the ones you can. For Nocturnalis is one of the few people who truly deserve all the honor. Honor her with deeds as she leaves us, take upon yourselves what was her work before. This is the highest honor we can give her and one of the few ones that have true meaning in this world of ours.
And now, it comes to this. Nothing is eternal and all things must end. As she departs, I prepare my offering. As The_Darker_Fonts has to tend to their own issues, I pick up the work. I shall ensure this tribute, we created, is worthy of her.
- The Sound of Loneliness
It felt like seeing the stars for the first time in the darkness.
We were new; two months ago, this entire community was all but unknown to us. There was no moonlight to help us see where we were headed, to guide us. We were lost and we were wandering around in fearful curiosity.
One day, to our surprise, we received a message. We were confused at first, but after reading through it, we looked up at the sky and it was full of stars.
It was from Nocturnalis Storyhart. She gave us advice, written in a silver lining along the edges of the clouds, blocking the view of the moon. Those clouds slowly shifted away as we all got to know and understand each other better. We learnt some of her interests and of her past, her struggles and hardships, but what stood out to us the most was her compassion and determination to use her own experiences to clear away the clouds in our skies, all of our skies. We looked around us and saw several people, all different and unique, with us, admiring the beauty of the night. She helped people in this community see the moon for the first time, even us.
As we gazed at the serenity of the sky, jeweled with stars, and adorned with her moon, a spark ignited inside of us.
We had found a true friend here.
Not all the time are people so widely welcomed: showing us not just the stars but the moon.
A moon so bright… something so close and so far… already having started a journey… but racing back to show us the start.
So here we are, only because you brought us here.
Thanks for everything, Nocturnalis.
- Sunny_and_Auri_23
She was a great author and friend, she definitely has talent as a writer. I loved helping her out on Discordula.
- Applefai
308 days. That’s how long I’ve been here as a member of this site. A lot of things happened in those 308 days.
267 days since my first story on this site.
238 days since my first followers.
89 days since creating my first group on Fimfiction.
58 days since I read 500 stories on Fimfiction, as well as my first featured story.
54 days since reaching 40 followers.
9 days since uploading my 50th blog.
One might say that these are meaningful milestones, every one of them adequate for the effort and passion I’ve been putting into this fandom.
To me, compared to what happened recently, they’re only numbers, meaningless graffiti scribbled on a computer screen. A few days ago, another record was added to that list:
6 days since Nocturnalis Storyhart officially announced her departure from Fimfiction.
Needless to say, I’m torn. She was like the Moon in the night, a diamond in the rough. She was one of the most dedicated, most friendly people on Fimfiction, always caring and looking out for others. I always loved how she would give shout-outs to new members of the site, as well as those who weren’t getting the attention they deserved. I loved how she would post blogs about her love for ponies and the MLP fandom. I loved reading her stories. I loved it when she asked me if I could help her write the next chapter of The Nightmare is Still Alive, and was ecstatic when she told me that she thought it was really good.
When I heard the news that she was leaving Fimfiction for good, I was torn. I was sad that I would never get to see another one of her shout-outs. I was sad I wouldn’t get to see another one of her stories, or an update to unfinished ones. Most importantly, however, I was sad that I wouldn’t get to know Nocturnalis better. Not only as a member and an author on Fimfiction, but as a person in general.
Then, a few days ago, The_Darker_Fonts contacted me, asking me if I wanted to join a group of writers who were writing a story tribute for her. I said yes, absolutely. And thus, two more records were added to the list:
4 days since joining the group for Nocturnalis Storyhart’s Tribute Story
1 day since writing my dedication for Nocturnalis Storyhart.
Thank you, Nocturnalis, for bringing all of us happy memories. May happiness always be with you in your future endeavors.
- SunlightRays
I, admittedly, did not know of Nocturnalis’s work before and, after seeing all the praise of her work, I can see how unfortunate it is for someone like her to leave the site. I started my stories from the beginning of this year and it’s authors like her who continued to inspire me to continue writing about the show we all have come to admire. If she were to read what we have to say about her, I’d like to tell her she’s probably one of the most respected artists due to all this support she’s receiving. Thanks for being around for as long as you were, Nocturnalis, I wish you the best wherever you end up.
- WurkyWilk358 0W0
Nocturnalis Storyhart.
Exactly how we had wound up encountering one another eludes me, but what does not is that since then she has been a wonderful friend. Always willing to be helpful, something I admired seeing, something I wish I had seen more of. Of all the people that I had called friend, even the ones that I had talked with at length and known longer, she was one of only three that had given me a shoutout. There were definitely others who knew her better than I did, those who talked with her on a more extensive level, but I still saw her as a good friend, a friend I am sad to see go. I would say she is an example to follow; and wherever she goes, I hope only health and happiness for her.
- Final fantasy forever
Nocturnalis Storyhart was one of my first friends on this site. They helped me get on my feet here and make more and more friends. I know that I'm not the only one who is going to miss them. Nocturnalis made many friends during the two years they were here. And I know many of them who can agree with me. So here's to Nocturnalis Storyhart's final send-off! May their future be bright and amazing!
Coco Candy
When I first made an account on his site, I was... really nervous. It was my first account anywhere on the internet (excepting fandom wikis) and I didn't know what to think or expect.
One of the first people I met was Nocturnalis. She was so friendly. She was the only one to comment on my first blog, and she left positive comments on my first story, which really encouraged me. But the thing that really stuck out was that she took the time to look at the groups I was already part of and the things I enjoyed, and then recommended groups for me to join and meet others(with the same interests). That small act made my day. She was so sweet and open, and... she's someone I aspire to be like.
I wish I had more to say about her, or a more eloquent way to put my words, but this is all I have. I wish her good luck with her life.- My Little Epona
Well what’s to say about Nocturnalis Storyhart? A lot actually. Now I know that perhaps I’ve rarely encountered her on the site, but when I do I could see that she is a great person to be someone’s friend and guidance. It was fun when I did encounter her on her blog, and it’s a sad reality that she’s leaving even though there was still so much to do. But alas, that’s how life is, and I wish that her own life be full of greatness. We’ll miss you friend.
- Midnight Blitzer
You know... it's a bit weird writing like this, after it's done. After the project is done. It feels like I'm getting some kind of special treatment, which I don't want. That tends to frustrate people more than anything, which is completely understandable of course, and that's the last thing I want.
But it also gives me a unique opportunity, seeing others' work already finished. And I just... I can't help but feel that all these people have so much more to give to this tribute than myself. All those texts are simultaneously so genuine and truly, poetically beautiful, and it only speaks for itself that Nocturnalis' departure was the one thing that was able to trigger it. And it also highlights who she really was for many of us: a great writer, yes, but primarily a friend. A person to talk to.
My part however... it won't be like that, or at least I don't think so. It won't be beautiful or unique in any way, because I don't think I can make it so, even if I wanted to with all my heart and mind. What's written below might as well be a generic wall of text which brings nothing new to the case. But it is my part regardless, and the least I could give to this tribute which I think deserves a lot. And I want to be here and write, just write, and write, and write, I don't know how much. Nocturnalis has become part of my life since we first met, however you wish to understand that, and so being here is something I feel I should... see to.
You know, I've been part of Fimfiction for quite some time now. I've read a lot of stories, I have no idea how many. Some I liked, some I didn't, but that doesn't matter; I only started using an account fairly recently. Apparently, it says it's been created back in 2018, and to be honest, I don't remember how or why. I've only began using it about half a year ago, shortly before starting to write my own stories. I've seen a lot of authors, some truly great ones, some whose stories I absolutely loved and kept coming back to see if they posted anything new. But that was just it, liking an author, admiring even, like I admire Tolkien, Stephen King, J. K. Rowling. And just that. You can say I was - and still am, in many cases - a fan, but I never knew any of them.
And Nocturnalis is... different. Very different. In the past, a year ago maybe, I've read some of her stories. That was my first ever experience with NS, although I haven't stuck around all that much. I liked what I read, I really did, I checked the profile afterwards, left likes... but for some reason, I left for a time. Back then, she was just another one of those great authors I liked for me, and nothing more. I knew her not, not really.
Some time passed since then. I started writing on my own. Our roads crossed a few times on several groups and such, and that was really when I first noticed Nocturnalis was a user I liked a bit more than others. As a friend? No. Not a true friend, at least; that came later. As a nice user, who somewhere in the world sits and writes, and unlike some, is really nice to people - whether because of their personality or something else, no matter.
Sometimes, she would post a sticking-out thread. Amid all the self-promotion and such (which I have nothing against, by the way; I do it myself as well, after all), there would be a short post, with a quote or a short thought for example, and a short comment under it. It was unique. It felt special, because even though I barely knew this person, it felt honest, for some reason. Like a brief dive into something deeper in the middle of everything else.
And that was special. It was unique, and it was only then when I really started to notice this person, when I started to notice Nocturnalis more: especially as I don't visit group forums that often; actually, very rarely for a Fimfiction user, I would assume. And yet, I saw her more often than most others.
Some time passed, and eventually we started talking via PMs - the reason for which and how it all began I'd rather kept between just us, for which I apologize, but ask for understanding. And... why do I say this? Because I don't think that without that part, I can truly say what these talks were to me or even really describe their nature. I worry I can't do Nocturnalis justice this way...
It's easy to write a melancholic text about loss. It's a powerful emotion that drives writing well, and while in most cases it may help to word one's thoughts better, it doesn't in mine, or at least it doesn't necessarily have to. And you know what? I don't mind, because it's not what I want this text here to be. Rather, I want to say what I feel about Nocturnalis how I can, as I think this gives her justice. It truly represents who she was on the forum, and I wholeheartedly believe that not only here. Well, at least it kind of represents it, I think.
You know, I was talking with Nocturnalis here for a while. Not long enough, not how long I'd wish to. But it was very unique. In these talks, it wasn't just... it wasn't the sole fact that it was her that was incredible, but rather that I've met a person I could talk with like I never could with anyone before, and Nocturnalis just happened to be that person. If that makes any sense.
Nocturnalis was no superhero. No superhuman superperson perfect in every way, she wasn't an ideal person who was able to be nice to everyone by some exceptional ability others lack. But she was a person I needed so much, and a person like there almost aren't. I can't say if everyone would desire such a friend; I can't speak for everyone, of course. But I did. And I had never ever met a person like that. I just... I really like her, I simply really, really like the person whose Fimfiction account is Nocturnalis Storyhart, and I think that's the best way I can put it without saying too much, or what I wouldn't necessarily want to.
But you know what? I am happy to see there are more people who think similarly. Besides, what am I even saying, I know there are. And that's so very nice. Just a short sentence to everyone taking part in this collaborative tribute: thank you for being here and doing this! And just... to everyone who just couldn't help fort their own reasons, or maybe wasn't invited by us due to some unfortunate circumstances... thank you as well. Because I know you could have done a lot to help, and just contribute a lot. And such will alone, even theoretical, is sometimes enough to thank for. In my opinion at least, of course.
You know... I'm a nervous person. I don't like describing myself in any way, because I know I'm not the best at it, and I just... I feel like I'll never really be objective, in one way or another. But I think it fits here.
Because... I'm shy, okay? Like... Fluttershy-level, and I think I can say it's less of an exaggeration than many might think. I still remember organizing this collab and messaging people. It was incredibly stressful, I tried to do it as quickly as possible once I've already started to log out as soon as I could and give myself a break... to avoid reading the replies, in one way or another. I just... I don't know. It may seem weird to most, but the prospect of talking with someone alone is not nice. It's just... it's stressful, very much so. And there were a lot of people to message, and it took quite some time, and with each second my heart was beating faster, as I knew that each second was a second closer to one of the people potentially coming online. And reading the message. And I was... afraid of that, I was. When I finished as well, I knew I had a break for now, but before every log-in over the course of the next few days, my heartrate would skyrocket, because I knew I was seconds away from seeing the replies, or a reply notification, to be more precise. I just am like that. I'm sorry if it sounds rude and all...
But the point is... I can't imagine myself doing it for any other cause. Not at present, at the very least... and that's incredible. Because for Nocturnalis, I knew I could never refuse it, even if it would be hard for me. Is it weird? Is it creepy? I don't know. But I think it - at least kind of - speaks for itself... maybe. I don't know.
I should be finishing now, shouldn't I? I probably should. I write texts in an expansive way. I can write prologues the length of a hundred thousand words, and messages of up to a couple thousand. But I shouldn't do so here. There are other people, whose parts are just as important as mine and so shouldn't get eclipsed in any way, especially as many of them relay things about Nocturnalis much better than I do. And this thing here is probably just a giant wall of text...
When I saw Nocturnalis was leaving... it was terrible. I was terrified. I couldn't really bear it. I could not, however hard I would like to, accept it. It was hard for me, and however strange it might seem, I ask for understanding. And when a few days later I saw it would be permanent... you know what? It wasn't as hard hitting. Why?
Because when something beautiful transpires, the universe always snatches it from you quickly. Or at least it seems like so, I don't want to play martyr. I just... I couldn't shake the feeling that I knew it was coming, and thus it didn't feel so sudden... It was weird. But most of all, it was... worrying, and I feared for her, for Nocturnalis. There were more reasons, yes - if justified, I cannot say; I don't feel comfortable judging my own thoughts - but the fact remains; it was hard in that moment. There are some things I... I don't want to touch upon here. And I know, I know it is selfish and self-centered, why even say it after all, I know it's very much not nice of me. And I'm sorry, I really am! But it's just... I don't know. These are things I'd rather just keep between me and her... and you know, I think the fact that these exist alone serves to portray what I wish to describe here.
Nocturnalis Storyhart was a person I needed, and still need, more than anyone. For me, it is a friendship that extended beyond Fimfiction, and meeting her was one of the best things that happened to me on the internet... well, probably the best, to be honest. Actually, in my life at large it was important - to what degree, I'm going to leave out. And it is incredible that a single Fimfiction user could become... so important for me. She was truly... an awesome member of the community. And an awesome member of the forum.
And, Nocturnalis? If you ever return to Fimfction, or just come read this tribute for some other reason, maybe just during a one-time login... know that you can stay, and that everyone here would be more than happy if you did! Don't feel like we're closing this site's doors for you by making it, because we by no means do. But... it's your decision, of course. It is, truly and fully.
That's it, I think. That's all I have to say.
To you and anyone who might read it,
Your friend (I hope... I can't speak for anyone but myself, after all), Devonus.
May the Light illumine those who must move on, and Nocty, may the Light of the Dark illumine you for all of your talent, kindness, and charity. You showed us the meaning of Friendship in the most literal way, and we won't forget you, not now nor ever.
Aw! That's sweet of you all to do this tribute.
This is just...
Amazing s3-prod.adage.com/s3fs-public/styles/width_792/public/TempoTissues_HappyTears20160502092538.jpg
5305989
I happy cry too.
I'm happy it turned out the way it did, and I'm happy I was there to help with it, but I also feel very guilty for not sending my own thing. I don't know if there's still time, but I just feel like there's too much credit given me, even if it's just one mention. I don't know... it just feels bad.
5306398
Just add what you want to say in the comments and I'll highlight it.
You know... it's a bit weird writing like this, after it's done. After the project is done. It feels like I'm getting some kind of special treatment, which I don't want. That tends to frustrate people more than anything, which is completely understandable of course, and that's the last thing I want.
But it also gives me a unique opportunity, seeing others' work already finished. And I just... I can't help but feel that all these people have so much more to give to this tribute than myself. All those texts are simultaneously so genuine and truly, poetically beautiful, and it only speaks for itself that Nocturnalis' departure was the one thing that was able to trigger it. And it also highlights who she really was for many of us: a great writer, yes, but primarily a friend. A person to talk to.
My part however... it won't be like that, or at least I don't think so. It won't be beautiful or unique in any way, because I don't think I can make it so, even if I wanted to with all my heart and mind. What's written below might as well be a generic wall of text which brings nothing new to the case. But it is my part regardless, and the least I could give to this tribute which I think deserves a lot. And I want to be here and write, just write, and write, and write, I don't know how much. Nocturnalis has become part of my life since we first met, however you wish to understand that, and so being here is something I feel I should... see to.
You know, I've been part of Fimfiction for quite some time now. I've read a lot of stories, I have no idea how many. Some I liked, some I didn't, but that doesn't matter; I only started using an account fairly recently. Apparently, it says it's been created back in 2018, and to be honest, I don't remember how or why. I've only began using it about half a year ago, shortly before starting to write my own stories. I've seen a lot of authors, some truly great ones, some whose stories I absolutely loved and kept coming back to see if they posted anything new. But that was just it, liking an author, admiring even, like I admire Tolkien, Stephen King, J. K. Rowling. And just that. You can say I was - and still am, in many cases - a fan, but I never knew any of them.
And Nocturnalis is... different. Very different. In the past, a year ago maybe, I've read some of her stories. That was my first ever experience with NS, although I haven't stuck around all that much. I liked what I read, I really did, I checked the profile afterwards, left likes... but for some reason, I left for a time. Back then, she was just another one of those great authors I liked for me, and nothing more. I knew her not, not really.
Some time passed since then. I started writing on my own. Our roads crossed a few times on several groups and such, and that was really when I first noticed Nocturnalis was a user I liked a bit more than others. As a friend? No. Not a true friend, at least; that came later. As a nice user, who somewhere in the world sits and writes, and unlike some, is really nice to people - whether because of their personality or something else, no matter.
Sometimes, she would post a sticking-out thread. Amid all the self-promotion and such (which I have nothing against, by the way; I do it myself as well, after all), there would be a short post, with a quote or a short thought for example, and a short comment under it. It was unique. It felt special, because even though I barely knew this person, it felt honest, for some reason. Like a brief dive into something deeper in the middle of everything else.
And that was special. It was unique, and it was only then when I really started to notice this person, when I started to notice Nocturnalis more: especially as I don't visit group forums that often; actually, very rarely for a Fimfiction user, I would assume. And yet, I saw her more often than most others.
Some time passed, and eventually we started talking via PMs - the reason for which and how it all began I'd rather kept between just us, for which I apologise, but ask for understanding. And... why do I say this? Because I don't think that without that part, I can truly say what these talks were to me or even really describe their nature. I worry I can't do Nocturnalis justice this way...
It's easy to write a melancholic text about loss. It's a powerful emotion that drives writing well, and while in most cases it may help to word one's thoughts better, it doesn't in mine, or at least it doesn't necessarily have to. And you know what? I don't mind, because it's not what I want this text here to be. Rather, I want to say what I feel about Nocturnalis how I can, as I think this gives her justice. It truly represents who she was on the forum, and I wholeheartedly believe that not only here. Well, at least it kind of represents it, I think.
You know, I was talking with Nocturnalis here for a while. Not long enough, not how long I'd wish to. But it was very unique. In these talks, it wasn't just... it wasn't the sole fact that it was her that was incredible, but rather that I've met a person I could talk with like I never could with anyone before, and Nocturnalis just happened to be that person. If that makes any sense.
Nocturnalis was no superhero. No superhuman superperson perfect in every way, she wasn't an ideal person who was able to be nice to everyone by some exceptional ability others lack. But she was a person I needed so much, and a person like there almost aren't. I can't say if everyone would desire such a friend; I can't speak for everyone, of course. But I did. And I had never ever met a person like that. I just... I really like her, I simply really, really like the person whose Fimfiction account is Nocturnalis Storyhart, and I think that's the best way I can put it without saying too much, or what I wouldn't necessarily want to.
But you know what? I am happy to see there are more people who think similarly. Besides, what am I even saying, I know there are. And that's so very nice. Just a short sentence to everyone taking part in this collaborative tribute: thank you for being here and doing this! And just... to everyone who just couldn't help fort their own reasons, or maybe wasn't invited by us due to some unfortunate circumstances... thank you as well. Because I know you could have done a lot to help, and just contribute a lot. And such will alone, even theoretical, is sometimes enough to thank for. In my opinion at least, of course.
You know... I'm a nervous person. I don't like describing myself in any way, because I know I'm not the best at it, and I just... I feel like I'll never really be objective, in one way or another. But I think it fits here.
Because... I'm shy, okay? Like... Fluttershy-level, and I think I can say it's less of an exaggeration than many might think. I still remember organising this collab and messaging people. It was incredibly stressful, I tried to do it as quickly as possible once I've already started to log out as soon as I could and give myself a break... to avoid reading the replies, in one way or another. I just... I don't know. It may seem weird to most, but the prospect of talking with someone alone is not nice. It's just... it's stressful, very much so. And there were a lot of people to message, and it took quite some time, and with each second my heart was beating faster, as I knew that each second was a second closer to one of the people potentially coming online. And reading the message. And I was... afraid of that, I was. When I finished as well, I knew I had a break for now, but before every log-in over the course of the next few days, my heartrate would skyrocket, because I knew I was seconds away from seeing the replies, or a reply notification, to be more precise. I just am like that. I'm sorry if it sounds rude and all...
But the point is... I can't imagine myself doing it for any other cause. Not at present, at the very least... and that's incredible. Because for Nocturnalis, I knew I could never refuse it, even if it would be hard for me. Is it weird? Is it creepy? I don't know. But I think it - at least kind of - speaks for itself... maybe. I don't know.
I should be finishing now, shouldn't I? I probably should. I write texts in an expansive way. I can write prologues the length of a hundred thousand words, and messages of up to a couple thousand. But I shouldn't do so here. There are other people, whose parts are just as important as mine and so shouldn't get eclipsed in any way, especially as many of them relay things about Nocturnalis much better than I do. And this thing here is probably just a giant wall of text...
When I saw Nocturnalis was leaving... it was terrible. I was terrified. I couldn't really bear it. I could not, however hard I would like to, accept it. It was hard for me, and however strange it might seem, I ask for understanding. And when a few days later I saw it would be permenent... you know what? It wasn't as hard hitting. Why?
Because when something beautiful transpires, the universe always snatches it from you quickly. Or at least it seems like so, I don't want to play martyr. I just... I couldn't shake the feeling that I knew it was coming, and thus it didn't feel so sudden... It was weird. But most of all, it was... worrying, and I feared for her, for Nocturnalis. There were more reasons, yes - if justified, I cannot say; I don't feel comfortable judging my own thoughts - but the fact remains; it was hard in that moment. There are some things I... I don't want to touch upon here. And I know, I know it is selfish and self-centered, why even say it after all, I know it's very much not nice of me. And I'm sorry, I really am! But it's just... I don't know. These are things I'd rather just keep between me and her... and you know, I think the fact that these exist alone serves to portray what I wish to describe here.
Nocturnalis Storyhart was a person I needed, and still need, more than anyone. For me, it is a friendship that extended beyond Fimfiction, and meeting her was one of the best things that happened to me on the internet... well, probably the best, to be honest. Actually, in my life at large it was important - to what degree, I'm going to leave out. And it is incredible that a single Fimfiction user could become... so important for me. She was truly... an awesome member of the community. And an awesome member of the forum.
And, Nocturnalis? If you ever return to Fimfction, or just come read this tribute for some other reason, maybe just during a one-time login... know that you can stay, and that everyone here would be more than happy if you did! Don't feel like we're closing this site's doors for you by making it, because we by no means do. But... it's your decision, of course. It is, truly and fully.
That's it, I think. That's all I have to say.
To you and anyone who might read it,
Your friend (I hope... I can't speak for anyone but myself, after all), Devonus.
5306533
There you are. You know, we've been waiting for you. Fonts told me you'd come by, but apparently his estimations weren't quite as accurate as he intended.
5306889
I know. I had some problems at first, in terms of connection and all, but to be honest it was mostly a matter of misunderstanding on my part. Contact kinda... broke. I didn't know what the state of the project was in detail, and so failed to submit my part on time. But here I am, at last. I couldn't possibly miss it completely. I couldn't imagine missing it. I couldn't, at all. It would be nice if my part was edited into the blog, but in all fairness, it was submitted late, so maybe it staying that way is more fair or something, which I can understand.
I've helped organise the whole thing and bring people together, so I guess it technically still makes me a 'founder' of it alongside Fonts, but I really regret that it turned out the way it did later.
Oh, well. I am here now. I'm happy I could provide my own part to this collab anyway, even in that way, and be part of it alongside you all. And, of course, I shall repost the whole thing on my blog soon.
I just... I hope you don't hold it against me too much... although I'd understamd if you did.
5306915
The only one who might hold anything against you is Fonts, he specifically told me that you don't need me supervising you and that you'll be submitting after he has returned from his regrettable brake. Guess I shouldn't have listened to him, but we didn't suffer from it. Regardless of whether you submitted or not, or purpose was fulfilled.
5306959
At the end of the day, it is there, mine as well. And again, it was mostly just a misunderstanding... I screwed up as well, of course.
Thanks for understanding. It really matters for me now, however weird it might seem...
Oh, well... I guess everything turned out alright in the end, and that's what matters most, right?
5306990
Well, no. Manager's job is to specifically make sure such "misunderstandings" do not happen.
This isn't your fault, because neither I nor Fonts didn't do our job properly.
5307043
I... I can understand that. To be honest though, I feel like you shouldn't have to watch over me in that regard... and technically, I was the project's manager as well. I was one of the founders even, although of course much more credit goes to Fonts. I'd really say my fault is definitely there as well, as even if you maybe failed to ensure this doesn't happen, I haven't engaged in the project sufficiently enough as well (at least in my own eyes)...
Besides, if I help start a collab like this and then, you know... disappear... even if just because of an unfortunate misunderstanding and not intentionally, this just doesn't feel right...
I think it's both sides' fault at the least... although I can't shake the feeling that it's mostly mine. I apologise if, you know... it's getting annoying or something. I can't really be objective, after all. I don't feel comfortable judging things directly concerning myself. But that's just how I feel... I don't know.
But... it is finished. It is past. I just... I don't know. I truly think that what matters most is that we got together and made it. My part's written, and you can edit blogs, so there if it will be there in the end is just a matter of choice, although as I said, I understand I may be preferable that it stays in the comments.
We all screwed up, but it's over and it worked out in the end, and I think that right now, that is what really matters.
We wanted to make a tribute, we came together, and we did it. And it's beautiful.
For me, that is what matters most. I really think it does.
5307080
If this is how you wish to look at it. You are wrong here, but I won't argue, there is nothing to be won by doing so. I am going to still tell you this though, you really-really shouldn't take responsibility for things you did not, actually, do. Responsibility is a very double-edged thing.
5307118
I may be wrong here, that's entirely possible, and I won't really try to deny this in any way that could seem "objective". But that's just how I feel, and I don't see the point in lying about that; or, rather, I do see a point, but I don't want to do this.
Even if we agreed that it was just you who were to blame, I would still fault myself for not preventing that from happening - not as something that was my responsibility, but as something I wish I had done. And I think that it may actually be that that bugs me more; not that I failed you, but that I didn't do something I wish I had done. And it's entirely my own thing right here.
And yes, we definitely should not argue about that, even if it's hardly an argument. For once, there is nothing to gain from it, and, well... it really isn't what this project should cause.
But you know what? It really isn't always necessary to find someone responsible. To determine it. Sometimes it really is enough to discard the topic and move on, especially if it's not really important and there is nothing to gain/nothing that could be fixed by doing so.
Hence why I think it's most important that it worked out in the end, right now at least, when it is all over regardless. The only thing remaining is to repost the blog on our own pages, and I hope there won't be a problem with that.
5307235
Indeed we might discard at this point, we have already determined who's responsible for this. You are too little too late on this discussion, I fear. The feeling does not substitute for facts, I am afraid. The fact is that this entire project wasn't managed properly from the start. Fonts did not bother to brief everyone on what, how and when they were supposed to do. I set out correct that as soon as I learned about it, this is why everyone else was on schedule. The reason why you did not make it, is because Fonts specifically told me that you were fine and I did not double-check.
The reason for you being late is the faulty management, not your own lack of involvement. You may be a "founder" but you never were managing anything, otherwise Fonts wouldn't have needed me to supervise the project while he was away.
5307118
I feel guilty because I failed to do what I wish I had done, not because I didn't fullfil my responsibility. I just wish, myself, that I behaved differently, you know? Even if I didn't have to. I feel guilty in front of myself.
Yeah... but in general, thanks for a nice joint collab. To end the topic where it stands, as I believe everything's already been said, and move to something else... or end entirely, however it may develop.
5307252
It looks like "guilt" is not the word you want to use here.
5307260
Regarding what was at hand there...?
I feel guilty for making myself feel that way, and so I feel guilty in front of myself.
However, you are right; it simply sounds confusing, and that's because it is. Maybe I should've just said that I feel bad... something like that. Poor word choice on my part, for which I apologise. Oh, well... that happens, I guess. Sometimes.
5307273
It does, so oftently it does.
5307249
I know feelings do not substitute for facts, and hence why I said I'm not really comfortable with judging right now; I know I am under their influence, and so I can't see things without bias until they subside.
You see, I had no idea about all that; how it worked behind the stage and how it was managed. I managed invites and directed people here and there, and served to inform those who would have questions at the very beginning, but that's about where it all ended, so you are right. By saying I was the "founder" I meant more that it felt like the managing role was passed over because of my lack of involvement. Again, it seems not to be true, which is okay. Other than that, that's about it. I think I misunderstood a message that contained what Fonts was referring to telling you I'm good, but yeah. It doesn't really matter anymore. I agree that if everyone was being briefed, then everyone probably should've been briefed.
Oh, well. I don't know if it's good that the first thing people will see when coming here is a discussion about lacking management. I'll repost the tribute myself as well, as that was the plan, but still.
5307281
Get Fonts to edit you in.
5307314
I will, but it's not only that; reposting the tribute on many accounts was just the plan.
well tardiness is something I am known for sometimes, but better late than never on getting here.
I thank you for making this, and all who contributed.
5305896
What happened?
5312570
Not sure what yuou mean by "what happened?"
5312587
I mean what happened to Nocturnalis Storyhart?
Did she leave?
5312588
Sounds like yes, but I'm not clear on the details. However, I do think I know someone who does have that information. Contact this person: "The Darker Fonts". This is the person that originally tipped me off to this. Probably can get the full story from him. Hope that helps sort out your confusion/concern.
5312590
Helps
5312592
Cool beans.
To tell you the truth, I don't know who Nocturnalis Storyhart even is. Friend of yours?
5312594
No friend of you're
5312570
She just left the forum, that's all. Little exaggerated, but then again, is it when another moves on?
5320700
Ok, I understand
5309146
Guys, I'm finally back after 3 years
5312594
Yeah, I knew a lot of people. (Finally returned after a few years)
Basically I'm really grateful they did this because it shows how many people I helped here and I'm glad I was able to make their lives a little better
5312588
Yeah I did due to some personal things happening. I'm back though after all this time.
5307275
Agreed
(By the way, I've returned now)
5715429
Welcome back.
5715429
YO, SHE RETURNS!!!
5715488
Yes. Just wanted to say thank you again for putting this together because it means a lot
5715540
Of course, my friend! We had all hoped you would return, and if not, a few hours of writing and remembering to commemorate you was no biggy.
5715457
Thank you. I'm glad to be back.
5715426
Welcome back to FIM ^^