lost · 1:02pm Feb 24th, 2020
Hey guys.
I'm a little anxious this morning, so I'm writing this blog to get through it.
I get some general writing updates out of the way first, though. Full post after the jump.
This weekend was feeling unlikely to get any progress on my stories. I was sick with the cold and also got a new puppy, so I've been pretty distracted and tired. Luckily, I managed to get some work done, but I totally wasn't expecting to update anything. It was nice pushing out updates for What They Expect to Give and Nuts and Bolts. The latter especially. I had zero plans to do anything for that story when opportunity and inspiration magically aligned. I hope you guys enjoy the new chapter!
Meanwhile, I've been having a little trouble starting drafts for Her Collar, Her Love and Eerie Lantern. I've tried to get the ball rolling a few times, but usually, my muse just led me back to WTEtG. Sorry things have slowed down. The workweek is next to impossible to squeeze in a decent writing session, but I'm hoping to lay down some groundwork next weekend at least for those two stories.
...If I'm being honest, I'm having mixed feelings about this fandom. I saw some nasty drama unfold on the pony side of Twitter that was very disheartening to see. I'm also feeling pretty isolated from my fellow bronies and pegasisters. Possible side effects of a shrinking fandom, I know, but I've struggled with seeing my most heartfelt and time-consuming stories be ignored or even hated on. These days, when I reach out to people to talk to or support them, they ignore me or outright turn me away. It's left me weary.
Not for the first time, I've wondered if I need to shift my focus back to my original writing. I have another book I want to self-publish, and my timeline to do so was within the next year or two. It's kind of an important goal I wanted to get done before other major life stuff happened (like moving across the country again, or even expanding our family.) I've been putting a lot of effort into fan works since September, and what support I've gotten has been great, but completing this new book would be major for me.
Alot of what's held me back has been fear. Ponies feel safe and easy. But my weariness with the pony world and this site has been growing heavy enough to maybe finally outweigh that. I'm not saying I'll stop writing horse words entirely, but my focus for it may shrink to one project for a while: WTEtG and its related stories. It just feels the easiest to write, atm.
I dunno, guys. Maybe it's just the lack of sleep and the latest wave of shade I've received that's left me feeling anxious and depressed.
I'm not really sure what to do to improve how I feel. I'm just tired of the silence and negativity. The internet void used to be my friend. Now I just feel lost in it.
TEll me about your book. I too am writing an original novel to start off a new universe.
5208858
Oh neat! What's your novel about?
Eikasia has been a labor of love since... 2007, I think? It's my LGBT horror fantasy series that has heavy romance elements. I've self-published the first book on Amazon, but the entire series (what I've completed, anyway) is available free on my website... if you can stand reading rough drafts, that is. I've completed initial drafts for around 3-4 books (last story arc I'll probably split because it's so big). I just need to edit and revise.
Sorry the drama is getting you down. It's why I avoid Twitter/Facebook. Get sleep. Get better. Then decide what you wanna do.
Don't feel bad about cutting toxic people from your life, don't forget we're not all like that, and don't let anything hold you back from fulfilling your dreams.
5208874
Rest sounds like a great idea!
Thanks so much for the kind words.
Personally, I like writing pony stuff to relax and practice, and more original stuff like my novel to work. ^^
Sorry to hear your stories are getting hated on. I'll give a few of them a read when I can.
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down. Just know, it always gets better. There is still a lot of good in the Brony fandom, they're just quieter. I'd love to hear more about your original stuff.
Upon seeing the summary, I totally want to read your book.
5208859
Sweet! My book is about an abused teenager who has to save four other girls from being murdered by someone... Ah jeez, I still can't get this blurb right. Well either way it's a YA multiverse series.
5208921
Yeah, sometimes I can still have fun with pony fiction. I just find this fandom to be harsher than others I've written for. I try to remind myself that, on the whole, my pony work generally has more likes than dislikes, but there is a threshold of acceptance I've yet to pierce.
If you do get around to reading any of my stories, I'd love to hear what you think!
5208922
I want to believe in the good of the fandom for sure! My faith got rattled for a bit, though.
Well if you get around to reading my book, please let me know what you think!
Thanks for the kind words guys, it's great to hear from you. 😊
5209167
That sounds exciting! Omg blurbs are hard. I always hate mine.