So, made some serious changes... · 4:51am Jan 16th, 2020
So, I took in all the input, and made some serious changes. Didn't know if any of you saw them, so I thought I'd post about it here before I committed to publishing it. Thank you so much for your input, you guys really helped me out, there!
The link, so you don't have to go running off to the other blog post:
Neat
Revised version looks good to me. Valerie's scene plays out much better.